back to article BOFH: You brought nothing to the party but a six-pack of regret

BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns "... And so we're thinking that some way of getting a morale boost would be good," the Boss burbles. "And cash was ruled out because?" I ask. "Money is a temporary thing..." "Much like morale in that respect," the PFY notes. "The Director wants something longer term. Something less …

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  1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Just the morale boost I needed

    The "private plummet license" is a phrase I might like to use more often

    1. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Just the morale boost I needed

      Being employable in the motor industry as a speed bump is also certainly going to get some re-usage...

      1. bpfh Silver badge

        Re: Just the morale boost I needed

        I think he was employed as a speed bump. Once...

        1. moooooooo

          Re: Just the morale boost I needed

          well you need to test reverse gear sometimes, so twice.

        2. Muscleguy Silver badge

          Re: Just the morale boost I needed

          It brought to my mind Arthur Dent lying in front of the bulldozer.

  2. Maverick
    Pint

    I agree one of the best new phrases in a while that "private plummet licence"

    cheers

    1. Charlie Clark Silver badge

      It's a great slow burner.

  3. Anonymous Custard Silver badge
    Trollface

    Phil the Toff

    Are you sure he's not just using his grandfather's name as an alias, having recently decided to become financially independent and to take a step back from his previous role?

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Phil the Toff

      Are you sure his grandfather's name wasn't John?

      1. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. chivo243 Silver badge
    Happy

    'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

    I'd buy it! It must be good with 6-pack and regret in the title!

    1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

      Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

      As Otis Lee Crenshaw says, "Country Music is just sittin' on the floor drinkin' a bottle of Jack Daniels with the big, lonely, salty tears pourin' down your cheeks - and tryin' to turn that misery and heartache into cold, hard cash."

      1. iron Silver badge

        Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

        As long as you don't come home with Jack Russel on your breath you're fine. :D

        1. Dr. G. Freeman

          Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

          So that isn't "hair of the dog" then ?

          1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

            Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

            Only if you've been at the cricket.

          2. Chris King Silver badge

            Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

            "Hair of the Dog" - I never really understood if they boiled the carcass down or liquidised it...

            1. Muscleguy Silver badge

              Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

              It's a reference to an old folk remedy against rabies. You have to consume a hair of the dog which bit you. A sort of sympathetic magin thing. The homeopaths are into that and there is doubtless a 1000C tincture of hair of the dog available as a tonic to ease your attachment to a former loved one (dogs being very faithful). That's how the 'logic' works.

          3. Sam 15

            Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

            "hair of the dog"

            That's a typo.

            It should read "Heir of the dog" - which is cognate with that other phrase "Son of a bitch".

        2. BebopWeBop Silver badge

          Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

          As the neighbours Rotweiller was told by his owner.

      2. Blackjack

        Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

        Change a few words and make a singer Black and is the Blues.

      3. J. Cook Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

        Just don't play those records backwards- Your girl/SO will come back, your truck will start working, but You'll have a zombie pet.

      4. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

        David Allen Coe did the perfect country song....https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWVdrEJIiqs

      5. steelpillow Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

        "Country Music is just sittin' on the floor drinkin' a bottle of Jack Daniels with the big, lonely, salty tears pourin' down your cheeks -"

        Yes, Jack Daniels has that effect on me. Ever since I read about it on Wikipedia; "The product meets the regulatory criteria for classification as a straight bourbon, though the company disavows this classification. It markets the liquor simply as Tennessee whiskey rather than as Tennessee bourbon. As defined in the North American Free Trade Agreement, Tennessee whiskey is classified as a straight bourbon authorized to be produced in the state of Tennessee. Tennessee law (57-2-106) further requires ..."

        I spent twenty years struggling to get by as a speed bump in the motor trade before I could face reality again.

        1. Dagg
          Joke

          Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

          "Country Music is just sittin' on the floor drinkin' a bottle of Jack Daniels with the big, lonely, salty tears pourin' down your cheeks -"

          Its like when you play a country music record backwards.

          * Your Truck starts

          * Your dog comes back from the dead

          * And your Wife / Girl friend comes back to you

    2. Chris King Silver badge

      Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

      Nah, it's probably some cheap cover version sung by someone called Billy-Bob - someone with six fingers on one hand who can play a mean banjo, but does so when the song really calls for a guitar.

    3. theblackhand Silver badge

      Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

      Meg Whitman liked a little country - maybe this is what she played at HP board meetings discussing recent acquisitions?

      1. Chris G Silver badge

        Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

        "Meg Whitman liked a little country"

        I assume that would be somewhere like Lichtenstein or some other tax haven she would like to buy.

      2. macjules Silver badge

        Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

        That's just the City of London. But only if the courts do her bidding, such as finding Lynch guilty and ordering him bound and gagged and ready for extraordinary rendition.

    4. JulieM Silver badge

      Re: 'You brought nothing to the party but a six pack of regret?'

      That's even better than "She feels like a million dollars, but she looks like two hundred pounds" .....

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Learnings

    I had expected one of the "learnings" to relate to a tainted cake and the obvious lack of institutional memory that it demonstrates.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Learnings

      I have to say that's one of the Americanisms I hate with a vengeance "learnings", makes me shudder to read it, let alone here it!!!!! It just sounds like something one of my children would have said before they learnt to speak properly.

      It's a constant fight getting it removed from minutes or "retrospectives"....

      1. Dr. Mouse Silver badge

        Re: Learnings

        "learnings", makes me shudder to read it, let alone here it!!!!!

        Completely agree! Have an up vote!

      2. Alister Silver badge

        Re: Learnings

        makes me shudder to read it, let alone here it

        Hmm...

        1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

          Re: Learnings

          I have just mis-read this as Lemmings. I'm not sure that this is entirely inappropriate and could even be more accurate.

          1. rskurat

            Re: Learnings

            These ridiculous MBA-isms have nothing to do with communicating, and everything to do with being part of the club. I remember when they couldn't be arsed to figure out affect/effect and so substituted "impact" which was infuriating.

      3. Korev Silver badge
        Pint

        Re: Learnings

        >"learnings", makes me shudder to read it

        Me too, have an upvote and a Friday pint

      4. Charlie Clark Silver badge

        Re: Learnings

        Abominable consultant babble knows no borders. Let me onboard you with the latest thinkings.

      5. Chris 239

        Re: Learnings

        And I hear that commentards that complain about others use of English should be very, very careful about speeling and homophones in there post and also it's punctuation. ;-)

        1. J. Cook Silver badge
          Pirate

          Re: Learnings

          Yup- Aye kun spel rel gud- huked ahn fonix werks fer meh.

        2. Charlie van Becelaere

          Re: Learnings

          Indeed.

          I generally vet my comments with a recent copy of "How to Speak Well English."

          1. Stoneshop Silver badge
            Coat

            "How to Speak Well English."

            Wet and with lots of echo?

            1. theblackhand Silver badge

              Re: "How to Speak Well English."

              Deep...very deep

        3. Psychomech

          Re: Learnings

          That would be their, not there. ;)

          1. the spectacularly refined chap

            Re: Learnings

            We really do need a "whoosh!" icon.

            1. Tom 7 Silver badge

              Re: Learnings

              That would burn out my monitor.

      6. GFK1

        Re: Learnings

        Sports peoples and their coaches and commentards have latched onto it thoroughly the past year or so, does my head in.

        Lessons! What’s wrong with “Lessons”!? It’s what you mean, you boofheads... stop trying to sound clever.

        1. Tom 7 Silver badge

          Re: Learnings

          I thought it was a USAinism.

          1. Trilkhai

            Re: Learnings

            Not as far as I've ever seen or heard, but then I don't pay much attention to sports.

      7. FlippingGerman

        Re: Learnings

        "Gifted", "birthed", ugh.

      8. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: Learnings

        before they learnted to speak properly

        FTFY

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