back to article Oblivious 'influencers' work on 3.6-roentgen tans in Chernobyl after realising TV show based on real nuclear TITSUP

The absolute state of 2019 is that millions of vapid young people, followed by millions more vapid young people, make serious bank just by virtue of being really, really, really ridiculously good looking and posting about it online. But for your Instagram "influencer" game to be truly lit, you need that exclusive, glamorous …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Boffin

    Small point

    Could you warn people when linking to KRM's comic? I mean, I look at the url but not everybody does.

    And I really cannot see what's wrong with "influencers" visiting Chernobyl. It's a lot cheaper than building and launching an actual space ark, and these days anyway the job of telephone sanitiser has more or less ceased to exist, so what's the potential downside?

    (Icon nearest I could find to view of someone standing in front of a radiation source).

    1. caffeine addict Silver badge

      Re: Small point

      Okay... I'll be the idiot in the room...

      KRM?

      1. TRT Silver badge

        Re: Small point

        Dunno. A quick Google reveals a Yorkshire based company specialising in flail mowers, whatever they are. Colour me intrigued! Sounds like it would be the ideal agricultural implement to tackle the current weed-like crop of YouTube influencers.

        1. caffeine addict Silver badge

          Re: Small point

          I would guess that a flail mower is a drum with lengths of chain hanging from it, that use brute force to cut things instead of a single spinning blade. Great for never jamming, or stalling if it hits something like a tree. But it tends to leave things looking like they were cut with a machine gun.

          1. Stevie Silver badge

            Re: Small point

            I believe a "flail mower" might be a wheeled, upscaled weed-whacker (UK: Strimmer).

            The materials used in the flail might vary depending on the expected brush to be demolished.

            All guess work.

            Later

            Completely wrong, except for the "materials used" bit. It's a small cousin to a mine flail. It appears it thrashes the brush into submission.

            I approve.

          2. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

            Re: Small point

            I think you're right. If you travel down country roads, and see the hedgerows and trees looking like they've been in a fight with a tank, all splintered and torn, you're probably looking at the results of one of these. It was probably wielded by a local farmer with a contract with the council.

            I've never thought it was a good look for our countryside.

            1. Tom 7 Silver badge

              Re: Small point

              Boring facts: A flail mower consist of a row or rows of fairly heavy steel J shaped picks fixed on a hinge to an axle so that when spun at high speed so the bottom of the J would be travelling left as typed acting like a blunt chisel is can cut through most vegetation and if it cant the hinge allows it to move out of the way and then centripetal force will fling it out again for another go on the next rotation.

              Bloody effective at making hedges look shit but rectilinear and not in the way any more. More importantly they are cheap to run so (like pothole repairs that are not done) you save on your council tax and ruin the countryside (and pay more overall for wheel-rims and suspension etc).

              I have about a mile of hedge on a shared access lane and its flailed every year and it is not good for the hedges in the long run but its hard work with a hand held hedgecutter!

            2. Lotaresco

              Re: Small point

              "If you travel down country roads, and see the hedgerows and trees looking like they've been in a fight with a tank, all splintered and torn, you're probably looking at the results of one of these."

              That look is the result of poor equipment and poor maintenance and infrequent cutting. Done properly a flail cutter (the things used for hedges are different to the things used for cutting grass) leaves a perfect finish. But the hedge needs to be cut at least a couple of times a year. Stingy landowners have the hedges cut once every five years and that means having to cut through large branches resulting in the splintered look. The council maintains very few hedges, usually only the ones that confine land owned by the council.

          3. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: Small point

            flail mower is a drum with lengths of chain hanging from it

            Sounds like one of the early mine-clearance tanks[1]. They had a somewhat indifferent success rate but some success was better than trying to drive though without the flails..

            [1] Possibly one of Hobarts' Funnies.

          4. Lotaresco

            Re: Small point

            "I would guess that a flail mower is a drum with lengths of chain hanging from it, that use brute force to cut things instead of a single spinning blade."

            As the owner of a flail mower (and the tractor to power it) I have to say that you are a bit wide of the mark. Chains don't feature in the design because they tend to break creating a danger of flying shrapnel. There's a rotating shaft fitted with bearings. In the UK flail mowers tend to have flimsy "Y" or "J" shaped blades that are bolted to these bearings. They scalp the vegetation and can be knocked out of the way if they hit a rock or large branch.

            Italian and Japanese flail mowers tend to be much more rugged and have hammers that look a little like an old fashioned adze with a sharp leading edge. These devices can be regulated for height and are capable of cutting wood up to about 50mm in diameter. Same bearing arrangement but the mowers are designed to achieve a lawn finish even when cutting grass up to 5ft high.

            The underside of the mower looks like this: Flail mower hammers.

        2. Aussie Doc
          Coat

          Re: Small point

          "...specialising in flail mowers..."

          Damn, I misread that as 'flame throwers' and was, like, count me in.

          My glasses are in my pocket.

          Somewhere.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Small point

        Keith Rupert Murdoch. The Sun.

        OK if you have to explain it....

        1. caffeine addict Silver badge

          Re: Small point

          Ah. I might have understood if you'd said "RM's comic" or "RM's rag".

          The percentage of people who know KRM is Murdock is probably quite small.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Small point

            Sorry about that, it had not occurred to me. I guess some results have been removed from Google search due to oligarch protection laws.

            1. David Nash Silver badge

              Re: Small point

              Never heard the "Keith" bit before either.

          2. Dave 126 Silver badge

            Re: Small point

            Hence the preferred term The Dirty Digger. Though it's a jingoistic term, coined by drunk arts-educated English public school boys believing that all Aussies were either criminals, miners - or worse, their colleague Barry Humphreys - I don't think Rupert 'Stick it up your Junta' Murdoch can complain.

      3. NoneSuch
        Pint

        Re: Small point

        Another small point before pub o'clock.

        Stupidity is an inability to learn.

        Ignorance is an unwillingness to learn.

        1. chivo243 Silver badge
          Thumb Up

          Re: Small point

          Ignorance is the opportunity for teaching and learning. I'm ignorant of many things, not because I'm unwilling, but there are only 20 or so usable hours in a day, 9 are spent twiddling bits, 3-4 caring for\enjoying family and by that time I doubt my brain is ready for input

          I had no freakin' idea what an 'influencer' was until now. Wish I didn't, the damage is done.

        2. bombastic bob Silver badge
          Trollface

          Re: Small point

          I thought ignorance was bliss?

          silly me...

          1. chivo243 Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Small point

            +1

            It was until I learned what an "influencer" means.

        3. Jamesit

          Re: Small point

          "Stupidity is an inability to learn.

          Ignorance is an unwillingness to learn."

          If you're stupid you can't learn, I f you're ignorant you can.

        4. dajames Silver badge

          Re: Small point

          Stupidity is an inability to learn.

          Ignorance is an unwillingness to learn.

          No, those are both stupidity.

          Ignorance is merely the state of not yet having learnt. We were all there once ...

        5. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: Small point

          Ignorance is an unwillingness to learn

          *Willing* Ignorance is an unwillingness to learn. Ignorance per-se can be cured but only if the ignorant one is willing to amend that state.

          In the dim and distant past (when I used to assist with the technical part of the interview process) I was always more happy with the candidates that said "I don't know but I can find out" rather than the ones that tried to bluff and pretend that they knew when they obviously didn't..

    2. Robert Carnegie Silver badge

      Re: Small point

      "Standing in front of a radiation source" - I think you want something like "Dr. Bruce Banner is bathed in the full force of the mysterious gamma rays".

      i.e. https://www.blogs.unicamp.br/ciencianerd/hulk/ (a little way down the page)

      Watch him boogie (still picture). http://jwong.freeshell.org/origin.html catches it well, too.

      As does "that" scene inside #441, "Hulk Fiction" (in which Mrs. Hulk plans her memoirs...but Bruce's cousin the "She-Hulk" poses for the cover).

      1. Teiwaz Silver badge

        Re: Small point

        Well, probably not allowed, but personally, I'm all in favour of the next season of minor celeb basking in attention show or whatever in the hot zone there.

    3. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Small point

      I'm with you. Let's look on the bright side. Letting the entitled visit up close and personal will help the cleansing of the gene pool. Or mutate it into some of the nightmare stuff that Space Opera and Science Fiction are made of.

    4. mr_souter_Working

      Re: Small point

      maybe we can persuade them that asbestos mines would be a really great backdrop for their pictures - and it would look so much better if they were working in them.......................

      1. hplasm Silver badge
        Holmes

        Re: Small point

        Well, with a determination towards a zero-carbon future, who better to stoke the Atom Furnaces?

      2. Stevie Silver badge

        Re: asbestos mines

        A buried munition that cannot be set off by heating it, but when it does go off adds a nasty bout of silicosis to the removal of limbs, eyes, eardrums & sundry organs?

        Inhumane!

    5. MyffyW Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Small point

      Paris, because even she looks cerebral compared to the Insta-herd.

      1. Tom 7 Silver badge

        Re: Small point

        She may be moderately bright. One thing about wealth is it buys an education for people that doesnt seem to involve real learning and I've met a couple of rich kids with qualifications well above their education that have made up for it afterwards.

  2. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Facepalm

    As was said a very long time ago...

    Against mans' stupidity, the gods themselves contend in vain.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: As was said a very long time ago...

      Thanks for the diversion Will. That comment led, by a couple of steps, to my afternoon being accompanied by Beethoven's Symphony #9, movement IV. Which, given the current political context, neatly closes the loop back to your post.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: As was said a very long time ago...

      I think the gods rather appreciate mans stupidity; We people are (allegedly) made in gods image and we do rather like to watch youtube videos of those other people keeping nurses, orthopaedic surgeons and dentists gainfully employed.

    3. macjules Silver badge

      Re: As was said a very long time ago...

      .. And thank God for The Darwin Awards. If “influencers” want to party like it’s 1986 in Chernobyl they should be positively encouraged.

      After all, what’s a little radiation sickness between morons?

    4. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: As was said a very long time ago...

      Against mans' stupidity

      And remember, the IQ curve has as many below the median line as above..

      1. the Jim bloke Silver badge
        Holmes

        Re: As was said a very long time ago...

        And remember, the IQ curve has as many below the median line as above..

        I prefer to phrase it as..

        The majority of the population is of average or lower intelligence.

  3. A. Coatsworth Silver badge

    maybe the radiation-induced mutations would help them grow a brain? not likely, but there's hope

    1. TRT Silver badge

      Could the snowflakes cope with the Troma?

      1. Down not across Silver badge

        Class of Nuke 'Em High

        Could the snowflakes cope with the Troma?

        You're Lloyd Kaufman and I claim my £5.

    2. Muscleguy Silver badge
      Boffin

      A biologist writes

      While it has been shown that limited areas of the brain do spawn new neurons in adult life they in no way 'grow a brain', they more patch it. Superhero fiction apart mutations affect your offspring. In you they either kill cells or spawn cancers or make cancers more nasty and invasive and drug resistant.

      Whether you think getting cancer might benefit the influencers, the type has been known to fake cancer for the extra clicks so perhaps not.

      1. caffeine addict Silver badge

        Re: A biologist writes

        Я поїхав до Чорнобиля,

        і все, що я отримав,

        була ця пухлина ?

      2. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

        Re: A biologist writes

        Whether you think getting cancer might benefit the influencers, the type has been known to fake cancer for the extra clicks so perhaps not.

        Just when I thought my opinion of influencers could not get any lower....

      3. TRT Silver badge

        Re: A biologist writes

        And just to explain the effects of an extreme-dosage of ionising radiation on the nervous system... the thing that's going to kill you is all the messenger & transfer RNA being machine-gunned to pieces. There won't be time for your cells to recreate enough of it, especially from the now damaged DNA, to keep your little grey cells supplied with neurotransmitter molecules before they all get used up. Once your stock is depleted, which they say takes about 5 minutes, your neurones will stop talking to each other and you'll basically suffocate when your diaphragm stops moving or goes into spasm; but you won't feel anything as your consciousness will have dissipated by then due to generalised disruption of cortex wide synchronisation.

        Nice thought to go to bed on.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: A biologist writes

          I have to say that if I knew I was going to die of something starting in five minutes, that doesn't sound too bad at all.

          Perhaps we should suggest it to the Americans who enjoy executing people who are only guilty of being black in the wrong place.

          Knowing you are going to die and not feel it while all the people gathered to watch are going to die more or less slowly of radiation sickness would be small, not non-zero consolation.

          1. TRT Silver badge

            Re: A biologist writes

            And I was only talking from a neurological point of view. The effect on the rest of the body is somewhat akin to being microwaved whilst stood under a sun lamp. There's probably a sweet spot in the dosage that will cause the neurological death before heat death, but I'm not volunteering to find out where that is. Suffice it to say that I don't know if you'd be writhing in pain akin to sunburn or not before you passed out, then stopped breathing. As you don't tend to feel your skin burning from intense sun until 6 hours or more later, then I suspect you'd just be feeling a bit hot and blistery and thinking you're definitely going to be peeling tomorrow before you zonked.

          2. McAllister

            Re: A biologist writes

            I wouldn't typically respond to such a crude swipe at Americans (witty ones are encouraged), but you reminded me of this: https://youtu.be/hI-RtTrVuW8

            Thanks for a good laugh.

          3. Lotaresco

            Re: A biologist writes

            "Perhaps we should suggest it to the Americans who enjoy executing people who are only guilty of being black in the wrong place."

            Someone got their before you. James Blish the author of "They Shall Have Stars" which features the Dillon-Wagoner Graviton Polarity Generator, known as the spindizzy, mentions the use of exposure to high-level atomic waste as a method of execution. Alaska's Senator Bliss Wagoner is executed in this manner for diverting public funds to the research programme to develop the spindizzy, starting with the construction of a bridge on Jupiter as a testbench for gravity research. It also features an early discussion of drones and telepresence. The Senator himself explains that the method of execution was chosen to instil fear into the public, but that in actual fact it's relatively fast and relatively painless.

    3. Snake

      The world over, Stupid Human Tricks has become humanity's favorite pastime.

  4. Korev Silver badge
    Pint

    I loved the article

    A pint for Mr Currie -->

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