back to article Naked women cleaning biz smashes patriarchy by introducing naked bloke gardening service

Lazy perverts of all genders, get in here. Australia has the household service for you. Bare All Cleaning, which sends women round to do chores in the buff, has hit back at claims of sexism by rolling out a gardening service performed by naked blokes. No, not that kind of gardening service. Actual gardening, like... hedge …

YourNameHere

Let the comments begin...

Careful with that hedge trimmer...

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: Let the comments begin...

Would you Adam & Eve it ?

Daniel von Asmuth
Bronze badge
Paris Hilton

Re: Let the comments begin...

How practical is nudity in the scorching Aussie summer sun?

Mark 85
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Re: Let the comments begin...

Meh.. different strokes for different folks. However, I'm not sure any Worker's Health and Safety organization would approve not wearing proper safety equipment.

Korev
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Coat

Re: Let the comments begin...

Well as long as he’s got a helmet then what’s the problem?

herman
Silver badge

Re: Let the comments begin...

Ayup, hard hat and boots are required.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: Let the comments begin...

Ayup, hard hat and boots are required.

I would think that would be raincoats and sponges....I'll get my coat now.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: Let the comments begin...

Careful with that hedge trimmer...

Reminds me of the last time I had to call the friendly local exterminator. His previous job that day was to deal with a wasp's nest at an upper class middle aged lady (with too much time on her hands). She was enjoying observing how her (20+ years younger) gardener trims the hedge in nothing but shorts. Everything was fine until he threw the hedge-trimmer to the side and rushed into the house nearly ending up on top of her.

Her moderately dirty dream was not to be though. He was not running to her. He was running away from a one foot in diameter wasp nest he whacked with the hedge trimmer. That was what the exterminator had to deal with after that.

So frankly, hedge trimmer... in the buff... That is not advisable. A week tops until you run into a wasps' nest in mid-summer.

Big John
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Re: Let the comments begin...

> "Careful with that hedge trimmer..."

You missed a chance to say "Careful with that axe, Eugene".

LucreLout
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Re: Let the comments begin...

Careful with that hedge trimmer...

Surely, in a country infested with redbacks, funnel webs, and all sorts of snakes (stop it!), the safety elves will require some form of appropriate clothing for gardening?

fredj

Re: Let the comments begin...

So safe sex then?

Denarius
Silver badge

Re: Let the comments begin...

@LucreLout.: Exactly so. Also much of the local vegetation is mammal hostile. Lastly, Oz has highest skin cancer rate in world. I cant see how Work Cover/Work Safety laws do not demand protective clothing as sun exposure is rated as a risk. This spring has been the worst I recall for early active snakes. The western browns in my yard are bigger than usual and more aggressive than usual. I suspect these new "services" are more for patio plants in the high rise hells the chattering classes eulogise.

Big John
Silver badge
Happy

Re: Let the comments begin...

Wait, that would mean the neighbors get an eyeful every time the fern gets water (assuming the fern is not too large). Umm, how would it be if a bunch of like-minded neighbors got together and hired a stark nekkid fern botherer's breezy services, to be rotated between them in turn? Talk about gaming the system!

sambaynham

Re: Careful with that hedge trimmer...

In Australia, Wasps are the least of your problems. Bitten in your gentleman's area by one of their spiders would be a nasty way to go.

Scott Broukell

Naked IT Support

Eeew, no thanks. E're, just look at the rack on that! I wonder where this cable goes? etc. etc.

Martin Summers
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Re: Naked IT Support

You know what normally goes with a nice rack? A UPS (Uninterruptable Pervert Supply).

steviebuk
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Why is it sexist

In the first place. If women what to make their money that way why is it sexist?

hellwig
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Re: Why is it sexist

No one is going to pay me to work naked (they pay extra to put more clothes on). If someone has the option, go for it.

bombastic bob
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Trollface

Re: Why is it sexist

it's only sexist because a member of the political correctness police SAYS so.

MrMerrymaker

Re: Why is it sexist

No such thing. If a woman said it was sexist, I'm fine with that.

Of course, I'd like to see the evidence...

Pete4000uk

Re: Why is it sexist

Because those who don't want to do it don't like to see others doing it and getting money for it

Ledswinger
Silver badge

Re: Why is it sexist

it's only sexist because a member of the political correctness police SAYS so.

No, its sexist 'cos they got it the wrong way round.

I'd imagine lady commentards (c'mon, both of you help me out here, please?) would enjoy the concept of a naked Chippendale doing the housework rather than gardening, and (speaking for myself) I'd not want a naked woman doing housework, I'd rather she was mowing the lawn, whilst I sat in fat, greasy splendour, downing a cold lager admiring the dignity of the human form in manual labour.

jmch
Silver badge

Re: Why is it sexist

"If women what to make their money that way why is it sexist?"

It's not so much the nudity that's sexist as the work allocation. If naked cleaning (ironing, cooking* etc...) ladies was considered sexist, the answer is to provide naked cleaners of whatever gender. And if they want to expand their service to gardening, they can provide naked gardeners of whatever gender. Having naked cleaning ladies (but no male cleaners), and nakes male (but not female) gardeners is sexist.

Otherwise I agree that as long as people do it willingly, are not abused on the job and are fairly compensated, they should be free to choose whatever they do.

*PS I would have though naked cooking rather unhygienic, no?

phuzz
Silver badge

Re: Why is it sexist

"I would have though naked cooking rather unhygienic, no?"

Also pretty uncomfortable if you're frying something. Spitting fat stings.

ElReg!comments!Pierre

Re: Why is it sexist

Spitting fat stings

Aye to that.

ShortLegs

Re: Why is it sexist

@Ledswinger

"I'd imagine lady commentards (c'mon, both of you help me out here, please?) would enjoy the concept of a naked Chippendale doing the housework rather than gardening"

Actually, ladies /did/ enjoy seeing naked (well, topless) "Chippendales" doing building/gardening and ironing.

Naked Builders featured twice on GMTV about 8 years ago, and on the back of that was Naked Ironing in Cheshire.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: Why is it sexist

"I would have though naked cooking rather unhygienic [...]"

As long as anything that comes into contact with food is clean then it doesn't matter what you wear or not.

Skin is generally cleaner than materials like wool or cotton etc. A TV crew were filming for a documentary about bacterial contamination in the average house. Kitchen wooden chopping boards were worse than a toilet seat. They then managed to get a massive reading - off the crew's woolly microphone windsock.

As pointed out elsewhere - spitting fat is best avoided when cooking. I always wear a pinafore style apron to protect the front of my torso whether clothed or not.

The UK NHS has told doctors to wear short-sleeved, open-neck shirts to reduce the risk of patient cross contamination from material contact..

DuchessofDukeStreet

Re: Why is it sexist

@ledswinger A naked gardener isn't high on my list of interesting things - possibly because I live in a top floor apartment with no garden. A naked Chippendale doing the housework? Actually I'd settle for any body else doing the housework to be honest.

I met a couple who'd set up a naked butler service in Glasgow a few years ago (they offered to hire my mate's son). All their staff wore an appropriate butler's apron, which the hiring customer was *not* permitted to touch or move, it was actually a lot more appealing than the fully naked version.

ds6
Devil

Re: Why is it sexist

"If naked cleaning (ironing, cooking* etc...) ladies was considered sexist, the answer is to provide naked cleaners of whatever gender."

Yeah, where's my cute boy cleaning the kitchen in a naked apron, dammit?!

(I think ordering these services may result in my trouble.)

JDX
Gold badge

Re: Why is it sexist

What a surprise, a male-dominated readership is in favour of the idea of naked female cleaners.

It's sexist, just off the bat, because their cleaning service only supplies female workers. That means their hiring policy is sexist. We don't even have to go into the crass objectification of women to see it demonstrably sexist.

For that matter, a gardening business which only hires/supplies male gardeners would be sexist. Why can't I have a naked male cleaner or a naked female gardener?

Perhaps less important than debating the definition of 'sexism' here is just to comment on crass objectification and the general awfulness. Because really, how many of these cleaners do we think are happy for a bit of cash-in-hand for extra services (it has to be cash in hand, they have no pockets).

And for all those men rushing in to gallantly defend and empower women's rights to do what they want with their bodies (for your pleasure), you're happy for your wife/daughter to do those things? If not then you're not defending women's rights, you just like the fantasy of a woman with her jugs out as she cleans.

jmch
Silver badge
Thumb Up

Re: Why is it sexist

"Actually I'd settle for any body else doing the housework to be honest."

Amen to that!

K
Silver badge

You're born that way, you die that way...

The only thing that sexualises it, is the taboo...

It constantly amazes me how prudish a lot of people are, yet this is a problem of their own making!

MrMerrymaker

Re: You're born that way, you die that way...

You sure you work in IT, what with this comfortable attitude to seeing randoms naked?

Joe W

Re: You're born that way, you die that way...

I wouldn't say "random", I guess they are specialists...

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: You're born that way, you die that way...

To use the King James Version mistranslation of Job 1:21 "And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there"

Nolveys
Silver badge

Re: You're born that way, you die that way...

"And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return there"

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww!

fedoraman

Re: You're born that way, you die that way...

“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,

and naked I will depart.[a]

aOr will return there

NIV translation, anyway.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

There is a UK cleaning service offering naked cleaning already - naturistcleaners.co.uk - you can book male, female and couples.

phuzz
Silver badge

Plus I guess you probably only have to clean one house a day to make the same cash as a clothed cleaner who's working 9-6.

I'd be able to make even more, because I think people would pay to put my clothes back on.

hellwig
Silver badge

Not gonna trim the hedges in the buff

All those flying pieces of bush and whatnot? That is not going to feel good. I hope they get to wear some sort of smock or something the block the debris as they work.

And Australia gets a lot of sun, right? I'm worried about too much UV exposure and the skin cancer rates of these poor workers.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: Not gonna trim the hedges in the buff

Being naked is our natural state. Necessity is truly the mother of invention, and clothing only became necessary as we moved out of our natural environments to infect the rest of the world with our presence.

JohnG
Silver badge

Re: Not gonna trim the hedges in the buff

It would probably be unwise to use a rotavator in the buff. When I was a kid, some neighbour had to have one of his balls removed, after it was hit by a stone thrown up by a rotavator. (And I think he would not have been naked)

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: Not gonna trim the hedges in the buff

My neighbour encourages a holly tree to grow on a fence at the far end of his very long garden. Unfortunately with the prevailing wind direction it sheds its leaves where they can lie hidden in my garden - waiting for me to step on them barefoot.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Re: Not gonna trim the hedges in the buff

"[...] after it was hit by a stone thrown up by a rotavator."

Rotary lawn mowers - hover or wheeled - can eject stones at high speed. So can strimmers. Legs are the most likely danger zones - so reasonably loose-legged long trousers are recommended.

Korev
Silver badge
Joke

Re: Not gonna trim the hedges in the buff

>All those flying pieces of bush and whatnot?

If there are pubes flying around then things are going pretty wrong

XSV1
Coat

Re: Not gonna trim the hedges in the buff

"And Australia gets a lot of sun, right? I'm worried about too much UV exposure and the skin cancer rates of these poor workers."

The bloke that is undressing in the icon is about to cover himself in sun block SPF 100 which blocks 99% of UVB.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

Naked indoors is one thing, being naked in the garden may cause problems. Perhaps if we were all naked at work this might actually be a good thing for peoples health.

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

In England it is perfectly legal to do your gardening naked. However if you have prudish neighbours who call the police then the latter may ask you not to do it or risk a charge of behaviour that could cause a breach of the peace.

The interesting thing about that is they are prosecuting the innocent party - to avoid an aggressive neighbour causing a ruction. No wonder some people think that threatening violence will get them what they want.

Vector
Coat

"being naked in the garden may cause problems"

Does give new relevance to the concept of a "walled garden," don't it?

(there's your IT tie in)

Anonymous Coward
Anonymous Coward

> or risk a charge of behaviour that could cause a breach of the peace.

Or possibly a breach of the piece, If your neighbour is so inclined.

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