back to article Don't let Google dox me on Lumen Database, nameless man begs

A man trying to sue Google is so terrified of being doxed by the ad tech company's Lumen Database that he has managed to hide his name from High Court judges for almost a year. The anonymous claimant, a middle-aged man we can only name as ABC, appeared without a lawyer at London's High Court on Friday (24 August) in an …

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  1. Stevie Silver badge

    Bah!

    Difficult to refute an argument made in such blithering language.

    1. Stevie Silver badge

      Re: Bah!

      "Unless the court, in the round, understands all the circumstances of the case as to the background, as to any risk that actually, of undermining the order, obviously that will defeat the object"

      Sorry, downvoters. I re-read this and attempted to diagram it, but it might as well be Furbish.

      It's still palpable, ungrammatical blither, brought on by a desire to use twenty words when six will do.

      1. jasonbrown1965

        Re: Bah!

        Seems appropriate for a forum where the language appears to err more towards the ethereal the higher up the monkey shows his ass.

        And it's a really, really big monkey.

        Batting bi-planes out of the sky, King Kong big, and at least as far back.

  2. Alister Silver badge

    the hearing, which ended at about 6pm on a Bank Holiday Friday.

    No wonder the Judge was getting annoyed, that's a round of golf he missed out on...

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: the hearing, which ended at about 6pm on a Bank Holiday Friday.

      "No wonder the Judge was getting annoyed"

      Not that annoyed. He didn't actually send him down for a long weekend for contempt of court.

      1. A nosy macro wound

        Re: the hearing, which ended at about 6pm on a Bank Holiday Friday.

        That would have required the counterparty (Google) to apply for a contempt order, and in the circumstances I suspect they felt that their interests were best served by remaining as silent as possible!

  3. Alan J. Wylie Silver badge

    BBC Technology + Creativity Blog

    The BBC's Technology + Creativity Blog posts a list of BBC pages that have been removed from Google's search results, here's the lastest post. It can be a most interesting read.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: BBC Technology + Creativity Blog

      Its like a 'whose who' of another parallel universe. :XD

  4. knarf

    Can't they just Google it ?

    If that doesn't work try Bing

  5. Gordon 10 Silver badge
    Big Brother

    thus the old adage

    "He who represents himself has a fool for a client"

    Kudos for getting away with it for a year though.

  6. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

    What's the first rule?

    Don't piss off the judiciary.

    1. Scroticus Canis Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: What's the first rule?

      Rule No. 1: "Don't get caught"

      Rule No. 2: see rule 1 .....

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: What's the first rule?

        I don't want to catch anyone not drinking.

  7. Iznik
    Headmaster

    Bank Holiday Friday

    Bank Holiday Friday in this case being a Friday, not a Bank Holiday, but before a weekend with a following Bank Holiday Monday. Which I know we can all surmise, but I'm standing up for Good Friday, a real Bank Holiday Friday with a real Bank Holiday Monday following.

    1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

      Re: Bank Holiday Friday

      Make Good Friday great again.

      1. pɹɐʍoɔ snoɯʎuouɐ

        Re: Bank Holiday Friday

        " Make Good Friday great again. "

        what with? £250M a week?

    2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: Bank Holiday Friday

      "Good Friday, a real Bank Holiday"

      And not forgetting those years when Christmas and New Year fall on a Friday too :-)

      Other than that, I concur. It wasm't a Bank Holiday Friday.

      1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

        Re: Bank Holiday Friday

        Christmas and New Year will never fall on a Friday in the same year.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Bank Holiday Friday

          "Christmas and New Year will never fall on a Friday in the same year."

          D'oh! Of course. New Years is 7 days later but in a different year. Bleedin' obvious really, but part of the same holiday, hence my (and probably many other people) confusion.

          1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

            Re: Bank Holiday Friday

            Though, to be fair, if asked to write the date down withing the first few weeks of the year I get it wrong. On a good New Year's Day I'm incapable of remembering my own name, let alone writing it.

            1. onefang Silver badge

              Re: Bank Holiday Friday

              Christmas, the following New Years Day, my birthday, my sisters birthday, her husbands birthday, and my brothers ex wife's birthday, all fall on the same day of the week, all within a couple of months. I'm too scared to ask about my brothers new wife's birthday. The rest of the family, no idea, they had to make theirs hard.

  8. Mystic Megabyte Silver badge
    FAIL

    This title is invisible

    If he was wearing bandages around his head I think I might know who he is.

    1. krs360

      Re: This title is invisible

      Not a bandage, just plain old tin foil.

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Having been on the end (or more specifically stuck in the middle) of ranting incoherence like this I recognise this pattern of stubborn paranoia.

    At work we regularly have these complainants who are effectively regular customers. One weeks it's dog shit, next it's garden waste, then it'll be something else and each and every complaint is taken to the highest level possible i.e the the Prime Minister and and Queen are cc'd into dog shit complaints.

    The chap may well have a valid point somewhere in his ramblings but he is incapable of putting this across in meaningful terms and also incapable or seeking the right help in dealing with his issues. He may well have some form of mental illness.

    'Querulous complainant's is the term I have learned, in short - I complain therefore I am.

    1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      'Querulous complainant's is the term I have learned

      Feeding that term into Google gives this interesting paper in the British Journal of Psychiatry.

      TL;DR: they're harmful to themselves and those they're complaining to.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        There is a good (and readable) paper on the SPSO website - http://www.valuingcomplaints.org.uk/sites/valuingcomplaints/files/resources/Querulous%20Complainants%20WEB.pdf

        IMH experience the majority of querulous complainants have an underlying mental or personality disorder. Unfortunately this means that they will often be quite harassing to the people who are trying to help them.

        They will often have a very definite idea of the answer they expect to get in response to their complaint and will reject any answer which does not support this already established expectation.

        Their belief in conspiracies is often unshakable despite the relit y being that the public sector is just not competent or loyal enough to run a proper conspiracy.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      may become

      vexatious litigants. There's a sort list who are forbidden to bring actions in court.

      A probably larger population have orders that they may only bring an action after first obtaining the permission of a named judge, or their successor.

      In respect of one idiot that was very welcome.

    3. Ken 16 Silver badge
      Coat

      One weeks it's dog shit, next it's garden waste

      that sounds like good organic gardening practice to me.

      1. Korev Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: One weeks it's dog shit, next it's garden waste

        Is that the compostable infrastructure we read about so much these days?

  10. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    It doesn't seem clear what he wants from Google but if he wants them to keep his name out of searches they can't do that if they don't know it.

  11. Tinslave_the_Barelegged Silver badge

    Is ABC...?

    He's really "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells", isn't he?

    1. Borg.King

      Re: Is ABC...?

      He's really "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells", isn't he?

      That'll be "Royal Tunbridge Wells" if you please.

      1. Arthur the cat Silver badge

        Re: Is ABC...?

        He's really "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells", isn't he?

        That'll be "Royal Tunbridge Wells" if you please.

        Royally Disgusted of Royal Tunbridge Wells?

        1. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

          Re: Is ABC...?

          When your world is full of strange arrangements

          And gravity won't pull you through

          You know you're missing out on something

          Well that something depends on you

    2. gerdesj Silver badge
      Windows

      Re: Is ABC...?

      Angry of Andover (Billious of Birmingham and errrr Cold of Stream)

      1. Michael H.F. Wilkinson Silver badge

        Re: Is ABC...?

        Also sounds very much like Mr. Gumby

        1. Aladdin Sane Silver badge

          Re: Also sounds very much like Mr. Gumby

          My brain hurts.

    3. Korev Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      Re: Is ABC...?

      "He's really "Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells", isn't he?"

      I'm off to ask Mrs Trellis, I think she lives in North Wales

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: Is ABC...?

        Are you sure it's not Phil and Meg McQueen of Sulky Abbot in Bumsex?

  12. GrumpenKraut Silver badge
    Facepalm

    Arguing with the judge how things should proceed...

    How very clever. Angry judges, bad news for the angree.

    Spillchucker says 'angree' is not a word, bah!

  13. ShadowDragon8685

    If Google really wanted to find him, I imagine they'd just have someone snap a photograph of him and run it through facial recognition.

  14. 2+2=5 Silver badge

    Deed poll to the rescue

    He can legally change his name, conduct the case and then change it back again. Or something.

    1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

      Re: Deed poll to the rescue

      But somewhere along the line, he'll need to tell Google what name to keep out of their database.

    2. Wensleydale Cheese Silver badge

      Re: Deed poll to the rescue

      "He can legally change his name, conduct the case and then change it back again. "

      I don't think you are allowed to change your name back to the original one after doing a deed poll.

      (Source: a former colleague who had changed his name by deed poll.)

      1. A Non e-mouse Silver badge

        @Wensleydale Cheese Re: Deed poll to the rescue

        I wonder why? My partner has reverted back to her maiden name after divorcing her ex. How's that different?

      2. markr555

        Re: Deed poll to the rescue

        There's really no such thing as changing your name by deed poll - you simply take on a new name any time you like. The process of using a solicitor for this is simply to provide a verifiable record of when you did this, but it's absolutely not necessary, I can change my name to Schnicklegruber right now if i so desire as long as that's the only name I use until I decide to change it again.

  15. Ken Moorhouse Silver badge

    we cannot give details of what ABC wants to sue Google for

    It's probably because he doesn't want to be named anything that associates him with Google's parent (Alphabet).

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "I've never encountered a case in which one party has not known the identity of the other party."

    Hasn't he? He's never dealt with organised crime cases then?

    To be fair, it is clear that the complainant does not know how to go about it but then again most of us don't and when we do, we realise how terribly expensive and frustrating the whole process is.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

      Re: "I've never encountered a case...one party has not known the identity of the other party."

      "Hasn't he? He's never dealt with organised crime cases then?"

      In those cases, the complainant would be The Crown. Individual witnesses may well be kept anonymous from the defendant and the public record, but will most certainly be known to the court and the prosecution. This guy is currently refusing to even tell the court who he is and the defendant needs to know who he his if they are to take any action in respect of his complaint.

      Ps "There are some problems with your post. The title is too long." Looks the Re: took it over the limit.

  17. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Solicitors from London law firm Pinsent Masons

    The ones who occasionally write here about stuff such as privacy laws and the like?

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