back to article Now that's a dodgy Giza: Eggheads claim Great Pyramid can focus electromagnetic waves

The Great Pyramid of Giza, the oldest of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World, has remained an architectural mystery. How was it built? Why are its dimensions so perfect? And, er, can it concentrate electromagnetic energy? Yes, it can, allegedly, according to a paper published in the Journal of Applied Physics. "Egyptian …

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  1. Rich 11 Silver badge
    Alien

    It was aliens wot did it

    Bloody hell. This one is going to get the alien origins nutters jumping up and down again. They'll all believe this was planned and therefore the ancient Egyptians couldn't have done it. After all, if you think about it, Lincoln Cathedral was designed to focus worshippers on the unseen altar so why wouldn't the pyramids be designed to focus radio waves on the foundations, huh? Huh? If you build your own model pyramid out of cardboard and put a piece of bacon or a razor blade at the focus it'll never rot or go blunt, right? What more proof do you need? Get your heads out of the sand, sheeple!

    1. hplasm Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: It was aliens wot did it

      At last! A device to sharpen bacon!

      Er-that means...

      Run!! Beware of pointy mummies*... aiiee!!

      *Must be 18 or over in UK to purchase Pointy Mummy.

      1. Paul Crawford Silver badge
        Gimp

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        Oh dear, am I at risk of being penetrated by a Pointy Mummy now?

        1. Alan Ferris

          Re: It was aliens wot did it

          Only if you're good.

        2. Unicornpiss Silver badge
          Paris Hilton

          Re: It was aliens wot did it

          "Oh dear, am I at risk of being penetrated by a Pointy Mummy now?"

          Is this some kind of euphemism for a MILF with a strap-on?

        3. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

          Re: It was aliens wot did it

          @Paul Crawford

          Probably, after all, when I went to Giza, I got gouged by a tour guide.

      2. jake Silver badge

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        When I want to sharpen bacon, I add some pepper flake to the cure.

      3. defiler Silver badge

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        *Must be 18 or over in UK to purchase Pointy Mummy.

        Well my mummy always told me that pointing was rude, so there!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Whenever I see Giorgio Tsoukalos' stupid haircut

      On the History Channel plugging ancient astronaut theories, I know we're lost more than ever. But on a guilty side note, I kinda also miss Stargate sometimes too. Star Wars? Nah - too 'pink'!

      1. joma0711

        Re: Whenever I see Giorgio Tsoukalos' stupid haircut

        No getting away from it - Stargate was by far the best TV Sci-fi show.

        Note, this includes all-round-entertainment, as well as back story coolness, though it has plenty of that too) :-)

    3. Peter Gathercole Silver badge

      Re: It was aliens wot did it

      "There are pyramids in my head

      There's one underneath my bed

      And my lady's getting cranky...."

      1. hplasm Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        "There are pyramids in my head

        There's one underneath my bed

        And my lady's getting cranky...."

        ..Sheeee's a Pointy Mummy...!

        Everybody!...

    4. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
      Pint

      Puh!! Visit Dublin and try out their 121m whip antenna

      Resonance?

      There I was, Spring of 2003, minding my own business, not bothering anyone, standing tippy-toe on my step ladder, drilling just a wee little pilot hole into the side of their 121m tall stainless steel Dublin Spire. All I wanted to do was firmly attach my monopole feed point to their spectacularly giant 590 kHz vertical monopole whip antenna conveniently plonked in the middle of O'Connell Street. But no, the Gardaí arrived with their blues and twos. They requested that I put away my gear. They were very kind, and even held my 4th Guinness of the morning while I packed away my equipment. Ruined my whole trip. I never did get my AM Broadcast Band transmitter on the air from Dublin.

      1. David Glasgow

        Re: Puh!! Visit Dublin and try out their 121m whip antenna

        I do hope there is a more detailed account of this ill conceived caper published somewhere?

        1. David Glasgow

          Re: Puh!! Visit Dublin and try out their 121m whip antenna

          Who would thumbs down that post? Onot person I can think of would be the Dublin Spire architect. So, architect, was it you?

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Puh!! Visit Dublin and try out their 121m whip antenna

        "drilling just a wee little pilot hole into the side of their 121m tall stainless steel Dublin Spire. All I wanted to do was firmly attach my monopole feed point"

        Never heard of crock clips?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Puh!! Visit Dublin and try out their 121m whip antenna

          Dr Sin Tax proposed, "...crock clips..."

          That'd be a big clip.

          1. jake Silver badge

            Re: Puh!! Visit Dublin and try out their 121m whip antenna

            Croc clips are just like alligator clips, only not as tasty.

            1. onefang Silver badge

              Re: Puh!! Visit Dublin and try out their 121m whip antenna

              "Croc clips are just like alligator clips, only not as tasty."

              I tried eating croc once, it tasted just like chicken, very overpriced chicken. Not very surprising, that's what they feed them. So now I cut out the middle man, er middle croc, and just eat pure chicken.

    5. nematoad Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: It was aliens wot did it

      Yes, the "Pyramidiots" are still in full flight.

      Just like Charles Piazzi Smyth the former Astronomer Royal for Scotland, some scientists get a bee in their bonnet about the great Pyramid and spout some appalling nonsense, and go around inventing such things as the "Pyramid inch" so as to validate their theories.

      As a former archaeologist myself I would say to the present proponents of weird things in the Pyramid of Khufu.

      "Don't give up your day job."

      1. Dave 126 Silver badge

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        > At last! A device to sharpen bacon!

        I just use a Rasher Razor like a normal person!

        1. hammarbtyp Silver badge

          Re: It was aliens wot did it

          > At last! A device to sharpen bacon!

          I just use a Rasher Razor like a normal person!

          Sensible people use Occam's

      2. JimC Silver badge

        Re: Extra points for Piazzi Smyth

        My mother came home with "Our Inheritance in the Great Pyramid" from a jumble sale when I was young. Even then it was obviously first class woo, even before that was invented. Check it out here https://archive.org/details/ourinheritancein00smytuoft

      3. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        As a former archaeologist myself I would say to the present proponents of weird things in the Pyramid of Khufu.

        "Don't give up your day job."

        They won't. They're academics on tenure (most likely) and they get grants for uh.. publishing.

      4. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

        Re: @nematoad's "Pyramidiots"

        thank you for that. If you don't mind, I'll appropriate it for later use in lieu of sending a cleaning bill for the awful mess on my desk, monitor, and hapless nearby coworker.

    6. macjules Silver badge

      Re: It was aliens wot did it

      .. a paper published in the Journal of Applied Physics.

      Many of us have known about this since at least 1973. Some of us were brought up on the late Lyall Watson's seminal Supernature, which included a chapter on how to keep a razor blade sharp by storing it overnight in a cardboard replica of the Great Pyramid.

      1. Uffish

        Re: cardboard replica of the Great Pyramid

        ... full size I hope?

      2. Rich 11 Silver badge

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        Many of us have known about this since at least 1973. Some of us were brought up on the late Lyall Watson's seminal Supernature, which included a chapter on how to keep a razor blade sharp by storing it overnight in a cardboard replica of the Great Pyramid.

        That's the one! I picked up a secondhand copy when I was 12. I built a little cardboard pyramid and borrowed a used razor blade from my dad. I left it there for several weeks, testing the edge every day on another sheet of cardboard, and of course noticed that it just got blunter and blunter. At about the same time Uri Geller was in the news and on Blue Peter bending spoons, and I think he was the one who mentioned pyramids keeping bacon fresh. That didn't work either.

        I've always been grateful to Lyall Watson for contributing to the development of my sceptical mindset (fair play, he did write well too). I refuse to thank Uri Geller for anything, though, the fucking fraudulent grifter.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: It was aliens wot did it

          refuse to thank Uri Geller

          To be fair to Mr. Geller though - he was pretty adept at one particular form of magic.. the science and magic of separating fools from their money.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        Many of us have known about this since at least 1973. Some of us were brought up on the late Lyall Watson's seminal Supernature, which included a chapter on how to keep a razor blade sharp by storing it overnight in a cardboard replica of the Great Pyramid.

        Yes, I saw that on TV in the 80s, complete with sciency-sounding voiceover and examination of the razor blade under the microscope. It's sharper, I tell you! (Nobody seems to have noticed a cold razor getting hotter and sucking all the heat out of the room, which is sad).

        Useless Knowledge Item by blogger Steve Sailer writing about pyramid schemes in Califailia:

        The wild thing about this 1980 outburst was that it was the most blatant pyramid scheme imaginable, combining the usual pyramid scheme mechanics with a New Age cult of the Power of the Pyramid.

        Back in Gov. Jerry Brown’s California, “pyramid power” was a popular New Age concept. (Although there’s never anything new about New Age in California — the lovely coastal mountain village of Ojai has been a New Age center since the 1800s.) In 1977 I went to a fashionable Westwood hair styling salon where for a few bucks extra you could get your hair cut in a special chair under a pyramid dangling from the ceiling. The pyramidal aura was supposed to help you avoid Bad Hair Days or something. (I declined. But, now that I think about it, I did have a lot of BHDs …)

        In May 1980, a vast multi-level cash exchange craze developed in California that explicitly invoked the mystique of pyramids. Every night there were hundreds of house parties hosted by people who had gotten in earlier on this multi-level scam (perhaps the night before). My vague recollection from newspaper reports is that you’d go over to a higher-up’s house and sit with him under his pyramid while you gave him cash in return for your very own kit for building a pyramid out of wire and fabric. The Ancient Egyptian emanations from his pyramid would ensure that you’d get even more cash back from the suckers you’d recruit to buy your pyramid kits from you while sitting under your pyramid.

    7. Chris G Silver badge

      Re: It was aliens wot did it

      Duh! Everybody nowadays knows it was Nephilim wot built the pyramids, they had super powers because they were half angel and they were giants so moving all that rock would have been easy for them.

      Of course the truth about Nephilim has been covered up by the Vatican and the Illuminati!

      I sharpened a pencil under a pyramid once, it went blunt when I drew with it though.

      1. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        @Chris G

        The Nephilim? Saw then at 'Rock City', in er, 1990? Well, i say I saw them,... I saw their hats, and the output from their smoke machine. I'll check out those covers bands : -)

    8. geekguy

      Re: It was aliens wot did it

      Totally plausible response, clearly and Alien Cat energy collector.

      1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        Alien Cat

        I think at leat 6 of my 7 cats qualify. Why do I always get the odd ones?

        (No pointing and laughing you at the back. Yes - you laddie!)

    9. MrReal

      Re: It was aliens wot did it

      I don't know about the aliens as I wasn't there, perhaps there were aliens and we are their descendants - how would we know? The Sumerians do appear to refer to some step event and new technology however - should we ignore that?, I don't know, it seems a bit rash to write them off - especially considering that the need for neolithic man to evolve/invent a method to carve and position 100 ton blocks of stone with millimetre precision was somewhat lacking.

      As for the pyramids, we still have no idea what they were actually built for, and only vague guesses as to how they were built so we are hardly in possession of enough data to discount 'aliens'.

      There is a myth that they are burial chambers but we've discovered the burial chambers made in those eras and they are quite different with many decorations and much writing, the pyramids with their odd electrical contacts, straight shafts and lack of decorations are rather more like an ancient machine.

      1. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        @MrReal

        Oh please,... are we in any doubt that the Romans managed to pick up, transport, and re-erect _eight_ obelisks in Rome? Did the Romans have vastly superior tech? No, it was people, and ropes, and boats, and carts and horses.

        I've been to the quarry at Aswan where the obelisks were carved, there are chisel marks, they weren't cut out by aliens with space lasers.

        1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

          Re: It was aliens wot did it

          they weren't cut out by aliens with space lasers.

          Aha! That's what the aliens[1] *wanted* you to think! It took them *ages* to work out how to make their lasers look like primitive chisel marks!

          [1] Were the lasers built into their heads? Were they alien space sharks?

        2. MrReal

          Re: It was aliens wot did it

          Romans used much smaller blocks than the ancient Egyptians.

          Your theory of aliens with space lasers is interesting but there is no evidence for that. Also why do you need aliens - the earth is as old as the surrounding planet and solar systems.

          There is also no evidence however for the use of copper tools and round stones, the tools we are told were used: there simply wasn't enough time to use them given the number of cuts required and the population.

          Now buy a lump of granite and try attacking it with a copper chisel: Go on.

      2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        Re: It was aliens wot did it

        we still have no idea what they were actually built for

        Other than burial monuments of course..

  2. terrythetech
    Unhappy

    And just when I thought the world had forgotten Erich von Däniken this comes along <sigh>.

    Maybe the electromagnetic fields release the excess magic energy.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      That's what they want you to think...

      And just when I thought the world had forgotten Erich von Däniken this comes along <sigh>. Have you never been unemployed or a student? There's about 15 day time channels just on Sky running wall to wall 'Ancient Aliens' documentaries. All carefully layered up against criticism by having their voice over prefix every sentence with 'It could be that....' as in 'It could be that Stonehenge was actually built by mutant radioactive mice to a plan telepathically implanted by Martians'.

      I for one plan on getting into making such documentaries, 'Were aliens particularly attracted to tropical beaches? Our intrepid investigator spent months on an expense account selflessly looking for clues along the world's shorelines. Surely the fact that there are billions of stars in the galaxy and billions of grains of sand on a beach can't be a coincidence?'

      1. Palladium

        Re: That's what they want you to think...

        Without fail all those crank bullshitters always boil down to a Russell's Teapot argument where everything possible is true unless specifically disproven by evidence.

      2. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: That's what they want you to think...

        'It could be that Stonehenge was actually built by mutant radioactive mice to a plan telepathically implanted by Martians'.

        The answer is "42"

        1. PNGuinn Silver badge
          Alien

          Re: That's what they want you to think...42

          Do you mean 42 mice or 42 Martians? Be precise, man

          Perhaps Marvin visited that place once ... Perhaps all that concentrated RF blew all the diodes down his right hand side ... Perhaps the Total Perceptive Vortex is somewhere down there ...

          We need far more serious research into this important subject.

          Enquiring minds ....

          ps ... I'll bet the mice were furious.

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: That's what they want you to think...42

            We need far more serious research into this important subject

            Remember, it all, in the end, comes down to a really hot cup of tea.

            1. stuartnz

              Re: That's what they want you to think...42

              "Remember, it all, in the end, comes down to a really hot cup of tea." - which is unkind advice for those of us who never get invited to that sort of party.

      3. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

        Re: That's what they want you to think...

        All carefully layered up against criticism by having their voice over prefix every sentence with 'It could be that....' as in 'It could be that Stonehenge was actually built by mutant radioactive mice to a plan telepathically implanted by Martians'.

        They may start of with "It could be...", but within a sentence or two the assertion being used as a "fact" to bolster up the next "It could be..." assertion till they have a whole house of cards built on their "factual" sand foundations. It's fun. There's even some small nuggets of truth mixed in to leaven it. My wife lets me watch it because it's the only time I get to shout at the TV without her telling me "IT'S ONLY A STORY" when the "facts" are wrong :-)

        1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

          Re: That's what they want you to think...

          My wife lets me watch it because it's the only time I get to shout at the TV without her telling me "IT'S ONLY A STORY"

          Has your wife met my wife? I think they'd get on very well together...

          1. Joe Werner

            Re: That's what they want you to think...

            >> My wife lets me watch it because it's the only time I get to shout at the TV without her telling me "IT'S ONLY A STORY"

            > Has your wife met my wife? I think they'd get on very well together...

            :D (as John Kovalic once so put it: dating geeks is an art. Obviously those who do will share some traits. Yes, that includes my wife. Or the spouses (both sexes) of many of my friends (when it was not two geeks that got hooked up).

            1. jake Silver badge

              Re: That's what they want you to think...

              I rather suspect that my wife would fit right in.

              Not sure if we should all be pleased or terrified.

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