back to article For €10k, Fujitsu will tell you if your blockchain project is a load of bull

Fujitsu has launched a fast-track blockchain consultancy service for companies to see whether their distributed ledger plans are pie in the sky or might actually be of some commercial benefit. The Japanese giant claims its scheme, in which concept prices start at €9,900, will propose to customers a minimum viable product in …

  1. Dan 55 Silver badge

    Give me €5000 and two-and-a-half days...

    ... and I'll reply to your email with "yes, your blockchain project is a load of bull" as well.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    Re: Give me €5000 and two-and-a-half days...

    I've just tacked my reply to yours. Have I done Blockchain and do I get your €5000?

  3. Jon 37
    Pint

    Yes

    Yes, your blockchain project is a load of bull. No, I don't need to see your documentation or hear your ideas, all blockchain projects are a load of bull.

    Now send me €10k. I'm off down the pub.

  4. tambo
    WTF?

    HDAC should have invested.....

    HDAC probably should off spent 10k to tell them wasting x million on prime time TV adtime during World Cup when they don't have any product to sell yet was not a good idea.

    But maybe a fridge which will automatically buy my DairyLea /Laughing cow when its low on stock with bitcoin may be useful. TM icon in case I can make some dollar out the patent

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: HDAC should have invested.....

    I suspect it would only allow you to order one of those two brands; which one depends upon which cheese spread manufacturer paid the fridge maker more to enter into an exclusive agreement.

    This shouldn't be a problem though, if (say) your Hotpoint fridge only allowed you to buy Dairylea, you could simply get round that by buying a Zanussi fridge (with its integrated "Laughing Cow" reorder button) to go alongside it.

    And that's how technology makes our lives more convenient.

  6. Blockchain commentard

    So, at last. A blockchain system that actually will make money :-)

  7. Multivac

    Does your blockchain project have a token/coin?

    1. Yes - it's probably bull.

    2. No - it'll probably work.

  8. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge

    2. No - it'll probably work, but that's not really a blockchain any more, is it?

  9. soulrideruk Bronze badge

    @ Sorry that handle is already taken.

    A blockchain is a distributed ledger. It has nothing to do with coins/tokens. You are conflating the technology with the use case.

  10. katrinab Silver badge

    I also offer a consultancy service

    It will cost you €150,000, but I do offer a much more rigorous analysis which takes 2-3 weeks, and rather than just telling you it is a load of bull, I can recommend additional services, at extra cost, to rectify any problems with your business plan. This could include recommendations of alternative technologies where blockchain isn't the most optimal solution.

    Skimping on the costs for preparing the business plan is never a good idea, so you should always be prepared to pay good money for a good service.

  11. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

    Re: I also offer a consultancy service

    That's nothing - I can take 20-30 weeks and charge £1.5 million. (I'll subcontract you to do the actual work of course). I've always wanted to copy the outsourcer business model.

  12. Justicesays

    Now I just want to register a website a bit like

    http://hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com/

    something like

    https://ismyblockchainprojectaloadofbullshit.com

    But with the opposite answer obvs.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Now I just want to register a website a bit like

    Business plan.

    Register the website.

    Paypal link.

    Pay €50, upload your business plan in pdf format.

    Site comes up with various clock symbols and the words "working on it" (unless MS has already trademarked that).

    Then it comes up with the word "Yes" in 72pt.

    The uploaded pdfs are then available for anybody who wants a laugh/wants to propose a scam to some marks.

    I can't see any obvious flaws, but also I'm a bit afraid to try it in case it starts to turn a big profit and attracts unwelcome attention from the fine, upstanding citizens who pump Bitcoin.

  14. Not Enough Coffee

    Does "Fujitsu" translate to "Dogbert"?

  15. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    ->Does "Fujitsu" translate to "Dogbert"?

    or Bun-bun

  16. theExecutive

    Does your Project have any value other than Investment, or Ponzi

    If not, its shit!

    There saved you £10k

  17. katrinab Silver badge

    Re: Does your Project have any value other than Investment, or Ponzi

    Even if the answer is yes, it might still be rubbish.

    Let's take Monster Cables as an example

    The problem:

    People are no longer buying their overpriced cables

    The solution:

    Create a new MonsterCoin that people can use to purchase their cables

    Analysis:

    Why don't I buy their cables? Is it because I have to get out my MasterCard to pay for them?

    No. I do buy cables, and I pay for them using my MasterCard, just not from Monster.

    Would it be easier to buy my cables if I had to first buy a special payment instrument that can only be used to purchase cables from Monster?

    No

    Conclusion:

    The business plan is complete b*******

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Confucius says

    A fool and his money......

  19. Brian Miller Silver badge

    Fundamentals sound, hype is bollocks

    The fundamental concept of a block chain is sound, but the hype of everything that is a block chain should be a "crypto-currency" is hype and bollocks.

    For instance, a "chain" of video frames, where each frame contains a signature of its predecessor, is a good thing. But unless those video frames are useful, like BOFH blackmail, then its use as a currency is rather limited.

    So: is your data useful? No? A blockchain won't help.

  20. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

    Re: Fundamentals sound, hype is bollocks

    Did you just mention a linked list?

    I ask because I'm so old I remember when linked lists were the future of data storage. Then SQL and hyperlinking came along.

  21. Sitaram Chamarty

    Re: Fundamentals sound, hype is bollocks

    a blockchain is a bit more than a linked list; it's a linked list with a cryptographic hash that makes it difficult to modify old blocks.

    of course, version control systems like git (and even git got the idea from monotone, and maybe it's turtles all the way), have been doing this for years before "bitcoin", so I am in no way claiming that difference is new with blockchain!

  22. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

    Re: Fundamentals sound, hype is bollocks

    "a blockchain is a bit more than a linked list; it's a linked list with a cryptographic hash that makes it difficult to modify old blocks."

    I know it's more than a linked list; I was just amused at how iterations of a technology (with improvements) become the Next Big Thing shortly before it turns out that, in fact, they are not. See also NOSql.

  23. EveryTime Silver badge

    Anyone good for $10K on the short con is good for far more on the long con.

    Ask any consultancy.

  24. Alter Hase

    Fujitsu, meet HTC

    It sounds like HTC could use Fujitsu's services:

    "We understand the potential of digital scarcity and uniqueness. With Exodus, HTC aims to be a general blockchain asset marketplace," said Chen. "We believe there is a paradigm shift and the pendulum is swinging back to ownership and the value of content."

  25. darklord

    Re: Fujitsu, meet HTC

    Alredy done that in 2007 we worked with HTC then and got nowhere

  26. darklord

    Too late been there with HTC in 2007 who do you think taught them in the first place.

    Sat on my desk right now is my old HTC touch Cruise from 2007/8. we worked on encrypted mobile for the MOD

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