back to article Unbreakable smart lock devastated to discover screwdrivers exist

It's never easy to crack into a market with an innovative new product but makers of the "world's first smart fingerprint padlock" have made one critical error: they forgot about the existence of screwdrivers. Tapplock raised $320,000 in 2016 for their product that would allow you to use just your finger to open the " …

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  1. elDog Silver badge

    Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

    This seems like the stoopid ADT signs that people used to put in their front lawns to make the miscreants believe that there was any security at all.

    Or the US TSA.

    Now, me: I have two very hungry attack dogs (60 and 100#) as well as a bunch of cats that will trip you up. So be careful!

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

      Hungry attack dogs?

      PETA will be on the case.

      1. jake Silver badge

        Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

        WTF is an "attack dog"?

        1. Rich 11 Silver badge

          Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

          WTF is an "attack dog"?

          It's a dog that has been trained to attack people.

          Anything else I can help you with today?

          1. cosmogoblin

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            When I first played Deus Ex, I found a helicopter that, when targeted, showed the help-text "Attack Helicopter".

            I unloaded several clips into it before I realised it was a noun, not an instruction..

        2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

          Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

          WTF is an "attack dog"?

          Real one? Caucasian Shepherd or to a lesser extent a Bulgarian Karakachan. They are originally bred dual purpose - primary as a sheep dog, secondary to defend households including against armed raiders. Anyone who is not identified as a member of the "family" is automatically identified as a target and it literally goes for the kill. There is no messing about, warnings, etc. A pair (male and female) of these is as effective as two 24x7x365 guards armed with submachine guns.

          They are considered to be the "most effective perimeter defense" in places where the law is err... a b it .. flexible. I would not use them in a developed country as nobody will give me an insurance for their use as a guard team.

          So if the GP is claiming he has an attack dog and it is not one of these, he has an attack toy. Not an attack dog.

          1. Dave Bell

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            Our dog was a failed lurcher, and one of those rescue animals. She knew to lead visitors to where we were about the farmyard. It was one of those awkward incidents, a local with severe mental disability, who was going around trying locks.

            He got a nasty suck.

            It was enough.

            Security has to match the need.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

              He got a nasty suck.

              You should've used the Paris icon. That's what it's there for.

          2. BebopWeBop Silver badge
            Facepalm

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            two 24x7x365

            how do these differ from 24x7 mutts?

            1. onefang Silver badge

              Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

              "how do these differ from 24x7 mutts?"

              They last longer.

            2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
              Joke

              Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

              two 24x7x365

              Does a Microsoft salesperson getting a non-indiegogo punter to move over to Office 365 make them a "common-criminal"

              1. MAF

                Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

                Cloud Attack Dogs option - You mean Azure-Nuts 365?

            3. JulieM Silver badge

              Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

              They work for nearly seven years at a time. (The mean year is 365.2425 days.)

              As opposed to 24x7x52 attack dogs, which work for 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year.

            4. keith_w

              Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

              "two 24x7x365

              how do these differ from 24x7 mutts? "

              They take leap-days off.

            5. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

              two 24x7x365 - how do these differ from 24x7 mutts?

              They can guard Azure Cloud and still take a couple of days off.

            6. This post has been deleted by its author

            7. MudFever

              Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

              or even the 24h mutts?

          3. Blank Reg

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            Yes a Caucasian Sheppard will easily take care of any would-be intruders. But I like the neopolitan mastiff as they have some interesting traits. They tend not to bark much and are naturally protective. So if they hear an intruder they don't usually go crazy barking at them, they will just quietly go search them out. Once they find them then the growling starts, by then it's too late to get away, the intruder is dinner.

            1. MyOtherHead

              Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

              Reminds me of the "Jesus is watching" joke.

            2. rmason Silver badge

              Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

              We have a Cane Corso (Italian mastiff), I think someone trying to get in via my windows etc would make for amusing viewing.

              She's a soppy family pet, but she sounds mean.

              1. Muscleguy Silver badge

                Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

                Reminds me of the blue English setter we had when I was a teenager. Almost never barked but when he did it was this huge, deep, menacing thing.

                The main deterrent factor of a dog, at least when you have neighbours, is that it will bark and both ultra friendly and very nasty dogs will bark. I know a super soppy labradoodle who makes all manner of noises including barking when he meets me as he likes me a lot. When I look after him he barks at all visitors and when I change the batteries in the slave door chime, making it chime.

                When you're out a pooch will ensure your entry to the property will be suitably advertised to all and sundry even if the burglar then gets licked to death.

          4. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            "as effective as two 24x7x365 guards "

            ..... pfft ....... you don't even need the screwdriver: just wait till February 29th.

          5. Frenchie Lad

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            I'll settle for a Karelian Bear Dog. They also make good pets.

          6. McKrack

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            Well, you can get a Yugoslavian shepherd dog to that list. A pair Šarplninac dogs is about as much security as you need.

          7. mr-slappy
            Headmaster

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            "A pair (male and female) of these is as effective as two 24x7x365 guards armed with submachine guns"

            Assuming your units are hours, 24 x 7 x 365 is 7 years. Do they get itchy after that time?

          8. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            A pair (male and female) of these is as effective as two 24x7x365 guards armed with submachine guns.

            Really? What if the attacker is, oh, let's say, in a car?

            Mind you, I'm not advocating for attack dogs or attack humans. But I think your threat model is a little simplistic if it finds those two mitigations equivalent.

            (There are, of course, attack classes in which the dogs are more effective. They're less susceptible to threats against family members, for example.)

          9. Captain Obvious
            Thumb Up

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            Funny - my English Shepherd does the same thing - if you are NOT a member of the family, you are literally dog food. Was bred for dual purpose - as a herding dog and as a protect dog.

        3. onefang Silver badge

          Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

          An attack dog is like an attack helicopter, it's armed to the teeth with machine guns and rocket launchers.

          1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            An attack dog is like an attack helicopter, it's armed to the teeth with machine guns and rocket launchers.

            No frikkin' lasers?

            1. onefang Silver badge

              Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

              "No frikkin' lasers?"

              I think you have attack dogs confused with attack goldfish, frikkin' lasers are an aquatic animal weapon. Laser guided weapons might be an option, but that might get the attack cats involved, things could get messy.

        4. yoganmahew

          Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

          "WTF is an "attack dog"?"

          It's one that's been fed 100 hash and has lost the plot.

        5. Rastor728
          Megaphone

          Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

          Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

          WTF is an "attack dog"?

          .....is this like an assault weapon?

      2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

        "PETA will be on the case."

        That's OK, the dogs will eat them.

        1. werdsmith Silver badge

          Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

          Yes a Caucasian Sheppard will easily take care of any would-be intruders.

          Crap. It's irresponsible and cruel to expect a dog to defend your property. Semi competent burglars deal with them quite easily and it's usually a sad outcome for the poor animal. Several so-called trained guard dogs round our way have ended up either blinded or dead. When I was a kid my neighour's dog was dealt with using a can of oven spray oven cleaner from the garden shed, the burglars opens the door just enough and then sprayed the poor german shepherd in the face.

          1. Zuagroasta

            Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

            Well, finally! Someone who realized why animals are no longer used on the battlefield - they are fragile

        2. bpfh Bronze badge

          Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

          AETP rather than PETA - Animals Eating Tasty People...

      3. jgarbo

        Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

        The attack dogs eat PETA people, too.

      4. hplasm Silver badge
        Meh

        Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

        "PETA will be on the case."

        And kill them.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Yeah - but if I am a "common criminal" I'll definitely find another non-indiegogo to pawn

      So you are saying all your precious valuables are in your home? Not the backyard shed or a storage unit? And all I need is a couple good ribeye steaks? Good to know. Thanks for the advice.

      PS - I also speak "cat".

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Avoid Internet of Things devices

      Avoid devices that are connected to the cloud aka Internet. Typically insanely insecure and full of surveillance tech (mic, cam, fingerprint).

      Build something useful yourself, with Arduino or Raspherry Pi. Keep your old trusted "dumb" analog devices that will outlast generations.

      1. jockmcthingiemibobb

        Re: Avoid Internet of Things devices

        or just impliment a decent firewall on your router

  2. Reginald Onway

    Oh my!

    And it only costs $100.

    I must say this was the most devastating take down of any IoT device I have ever read. Maybe most damaging report on any device.

    Well done!

    1. Chozo
      Facepalm

      Re: Oh my!

      If you liked that you'll love this.

      How to defeat high security locks with a paperclip and other fun tricks.

      DEFCON 19 Insecurity: An Analysis Of Current Commercial And Government Security Lock Designs

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Oh my!

        How to defeat high security locks with a paperclip and other fun tricks.

        Does anyone even do UAT anymore?

    2. Pete 2 Silver badge

      Re: Oh my!

      True, it seems pretty crap as far as hardware goes.

      But compared with software or operating systems that are supposed to be secure, it would count as invincible.

      Seriously, given how many design and implementation flaws there are in most apps, most code and most versions of Windows and Linux, a lock of comparable quality to them would be made out of chocolate with the password written on the outside of the box it came in.

      1. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

        Re: Oh my!

        This is obviously a serious cock-up, but, to be fair, no padlock is invincible, and that applies for most (all?) security systems. They are just ways of reducing the temptation of an open door with something valuable behind it. The more effective the lock, the less likely some opportunist passing-by bit of shit will have a go at it. If a garden shed needs a noisy angle-grinder to open it will probably be effective. The same lock will not be so good in a remote location on a shed full of gold bullion.

        If the contents are valuable enough, it can be opened!

        1. GIRZiM

          Re: the temptation of an open door with something valuable behind it

          Ah, but that's just what you'd like us all to think, isn't it?

          I bet you're one of those people who puts a really expensive looking lock on a garden shed full of horse-manure, situated miles away in the middle of Dartmoor, to encourage thieves to waste their time breaking into it because there must be something valuable behind such an expensive lock.

          Well, I'm wise to your reverse psychology tricks and not fooled for a second - I'm gonna break into your coal cellar with the crappy lock on it where you keep all your valuables

          1. onefang Silver badge

            Re: the temptation of an open door with something valuable behind it

            That's why I hid my valuables deep inside that horse-manure.

            1. jake Silver badge

              Re: the temptation of an open door with something valuable behind it

              I hope your valuables are heat proof ... decomposing horse shit can (and often does) get hot enough to combust.

            2. GIRZiM

              Re: the temptation of an open door with something valuable behind it

              Ha!

              Nice try but no cigar; I'm not falling for that - you just want me to get covered in it, looking for valuables that aren't there.

              No, now I'm even more convinced they're in the coal cellar.

              [Saunters off to find a costumer's so that he can dress the part and not look suspicious hanging around a coal cellar]

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