back to article Bowel down: Laxative brownies brought to colleague's leaving bash

Leaving parties can be an opportunity for more anally retentive colleagues to loosen up and go with the flow. But one woman took that to an extreme by bringing laxative brownies to a send-off bash. The 47-year-old from Michigan lost her job after police discovered she put purgatives in a departing co-worker's going-away …

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Joke

Giving a crap

Well that seems like a shitty thing to do...

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Coat

Re: Giving a crap

someone had the guts...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Giving a crap

Apparently she's on the runs.

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Devil

Revenge is a dish best served wet

Few years back a coworker was complaining someone was stealing his lunch out of the company fridge. So one day he puts a powerful laxative in his sandwich. Sure enough, come lunch time, his lunch sack was gone from the fridge.

Later we noticed the office quiet guy, the one always kissing up to the boss, making multiple runs to the rest room! So technically, this was not illegal, was it?

Laxatives have their place.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Giving a crap

> The 47-year-old from Michigan lost her job

So at least one person was canned...

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IT Angle

Re: Giving a crap

For the “IT angle” you could say she tried to flush his buffers...

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Re: Revenge is a dish best served wet

I dunno; me, I'd lace my lunch with a good deal of super hot sauce, if I was the type of person who left their lunch in a shared refrigerator. (I use an insulated lunch bag with ice packs instead.)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Giving a crap

It's a really revolting sphincter do to someone.

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Re: Giving a crap

Rather than laxative-laced brownies, surely a better prank would have been a take on the popular sugar-coated peanut-butter chocolate candy... Faeces Pieces.

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Re: Revenge is a dish best served wet

I dunno; me, I'd lace my lunch with a good deal of super hot sauce,

I'd love to work in your office. Free lunch and I don't even need to bring my own hot sauce.

I'm annoyed that Tesco hasn't (yet) started selling Carolina Reapers again this year.

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Re: Revenge is a dish best served wet

"So technically, this was not illegal, was it?"

I dunno... I hear it's illegal (US) to have an electric shocker hooked up to your car alarm... so that when someone sets it off... "bzzzzzzzT" they get a good shock if they are still touching metal. "Crims rights" or some shite...

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WTF?

Re: Revenge is a dish best served wet

Ex-boss did that hooked up his Porsche & in the dark corner of his parking space to a electric fence unit, especially for when the university students rolled out of The Black Horse In Exeter.

Thinking back, that might have been a precursor for another event.

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Re: Revenge is a dish best served wet

Technically, it's "Setting a mantrap." so technically illegal.

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Devil

Re: Revenge is a dish best served wet

I'd do both - that way the miscreant gets burned on the way in as well as on the way out.

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It's called "Setting a mantrap."

It's got nothing to do with crim's rights, and everything to do with ordinary people not falling foul to random booby traps.

Thus ended letterboxes with "teeth" and garden walls with embedded glass shards. It's why you and I can't erect electric fences with razor wire.

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Re: It's called "Setting a mantrap."

There's at least one property on my walk to work with glass embedded at the top of its walls, right here in the West Midlands.

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It's a shame they never said why she hated her colleague so much. Some of us want to know.

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Whatever the reason, after this I think it's safe to say that the feeling's mutual.

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Oh, what a let down...

... I was hoping for the reverse... the leaver leaving some dodgy brownies behind.

Awwww maaaaaan! *disappointed face*

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Perhaps she was just done with all her co-workers being full of shit when it came to getting it done........

<perhaps we need a new icon for 'flushing it all down the drain' >

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IT Angle

co-workers ...

...or cow orkers?

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Re: co-workers ...

That was orc ward.

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Saline police chief Jerrod Hart said the tampering of food ...

A seasoned officer, was he?

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Saline police chief Jerrod Hart said the tampering of food ...

Did he use salty language?

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No, it was completely sterile.

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Normal for a man like that.

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Further Advice...

Better avoid the "chocolate log" just in case...

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Bitter Bitch Booted Because Baked Bum Bomb Brownies Brought By Bye Bye Bash.

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Bloody, bleeding, brilliant.

That is all.

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First rule for breaking the law....

DON'T tell people that you're going to do it....

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Re: First rule for breaking the law....

I was hoping someone would point that out. A time to brag and a time to shut the hell up. Wisdom is knowing which is which.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: First rule for breaking the law....

I've been burned by an accomplice doing that before. It's why I always work solo now.

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A tip-off...

This is why revolutions fail.

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Re: A tip-off...

There is a well known joke (I have heard it about several countries):

Q:What is one person from country X?

A: A revolutionary

Q:What are two persons from country X?

A: An organized revolutionary movement.

Q:What are three persons from country X?

A: An organized revolutionary movement with a traitor mole.

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Coat

Re: A tip-off...

You just reminded me of a German motto:

When two Germans get together they form a club.

When three Germans get together they form a political party.

The German who told me that became slightly upset when I added "When four Germans get together they invade Poland."

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When four Germans get together they invade Poland

Surely that should be "When three Germans and an Austrian get together they invade Poland" ...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: A tip-off...

@handleocast

> The German who told me that became slightly upset when I added "When four Germans get together they invade Poland."

That's so Twentieth Century.

https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2018/05/germanys-typhoon-problem-only-four-fighters-can-be-made-combat-ready/

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Re: A tip-off...

> https://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2018/05/germanys-typhoon-problem-only-four-fighters-can-be-made-combat-ready/

Haha, I was reading that URL quickly and thought it said "Only Foo Fighters can be made Combat Ready".

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A similar tale that's full of --it

A man won the lottery to the tune of $125 MEEEEELL-LION. Like most, he quit his job forthwith. He then proceeded to contract a certain company to dump $200,000+ worth of manure on his former boss' lawn while he watched from across the street, laughing to beat the band.

Of course, the dump trucks woke up the ex-boss, who naturally called the police. By the time the cops got there, half the trucks (I can't remember how many) had spread their load. The "winner" readily admitted to the dirty deed -- payback for taking this guy's $h!t for so many years -- paid his bail, and confessed he had many more similar stunts in store for others.

We'll see if his lottery gains can cover not just the pranks but also the subsequent bail bonds and civil lawsuits... or if all this revenge leaves him up S--- Creek.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: A similar tale that's full of --it

Soooo......

The grass WILL be greener on the other side then (or at least the boss's side)?

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Re: A similar tale that's full of --it

That's a really manure way to deal with things.

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Re: A similar tale that's full of --it

Actually, that story IS full of it:

https://hoax-alert.leadstories.com/3469371-fake-news-lottery-winner-arrested-for-dumping-200000-of-manure-on-ex-boss-lawn.html

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Re: A similar tale that's full of --it

An ex colleague now no longer with us was sent a load of manure by his ex wife after their divorce. When the truck turned up the driver was unaware that this was supposed to be revenge. So he knocked on the door and asked where to put the bags. The roses in the back garden never looked better as a result.

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Coat

The laxative needs to be added to hash brownies...

... for shits and giggles.

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Coat

That was a crap pun

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Coat

"... for shits and giggles."

Until someone giggles and shits!!

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Trollface

Plot in a low budget comedy

Or should we say Dark Comedy?

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But seriously folks....

I'm always amazed at how people drift into the kitchen or snack area, spot something potentially yummy on the table, and chow down without a second thought. Admittedly in companies where you can get to the snackeria easily there's not much incentive to cause trouble unless there's a personal vendetta, whereas companies that might deserve a "run" for their money are pretty good at restricting outsiders, sometimes to the point of offending potential clients (like a certain formerly large USA photographic corporation).

On another note a quick glance at the Glassdoor entry for the company in question indicates a certain amount of internal dysfunction. Perhaps the incident was the canary in the coalmine.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: But seriously folks....

I'm always amazed at how people drift into the kitchen or snack area, spot something potentially yummy on the table, and chow down without a second thought.

Another way of looking at it: not enough people use the office fridge to store their botulism samples.

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Apparently

She got the idea from Feacebook

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