back to article Penis pothole protester: Cambridge's 'Wanksy' art shows feted

A Cambridge-based protester has been heralded for daubing penises around potholes - the latest in a rising trend of phallic crater painters. On the Facebook page created in the prankster's honour, one local described the hazardous cavities as "an absolute disgrace". She said: "I put an official complaint in at least 3 months …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Some people say this is vandalism, but I say that's a phallusy

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Agreed; it's bringing a lot of 'a-penis' to the area...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        willy did do it for a good reason.

  2. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

    "a semi at 69 Cock Lane"

    Only a semi?

    1. Callam McMillan
      Coat

      Re: "a semi at 69 Cock Lane"

      Better than a detached in this case!

      1. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: "a semi at 69 Cock Lane"

        "Better than a detached "

        I'm not so sure about that. At least you can leave it in the bathroom cabinet if you think it's going to get you into trouble: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=byDiILrNbM4

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: "a semi at 69 Cock Lane"

        I understand that if your coming from down south it is a hard right.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: "a semi at 69 Cock Lane"

      "Only a semi?"

      In need of some TLC and structural support.

      1. AceRimmer1980
        IT Angle

        Re: "a semi at 69 Cock Lane"

        Or a DIY enthusiast.

        1. Scroticus Canis Silver badge
          Devil

          Re: "Or a DIY enthusiast"

          Given the handle it prompts the question - just how flexible are you?

    3. Sgt_Oddball Silver badge

      Re: "a semi at 69 Cock Lane"

      At least it wasn't a one up, one down....

  3. lafnlab
    Childcatcher

    Obscene? Nah.

    "Has this person, for just one second, considered how families with young children must feel when they are confronted with these obscene symbols as they walk to school?"

    Did that person go to school in the Georgian Era? Children won't know it's obscene unless someone tells them and parents will likely roll their eyes when asked by the kids. There's a big difference between painting peckers around potholes and producing pornographic pictures.

    1. Korev Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      Re: Obscene? Nah.

      I hope they never take their kids anywhere near here

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Obscene? Nah.

      "Has this person, for just one second, considered how families with young children must feel when their cars are noisy and repeatedly damaged and their children are shaken up as they drive over our crappy roads we cannot be arsed to maintain to anything beyond third world or even Manhattan standards!" was what the idiot spokesman meant to say, I'm sure.

    3. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

      Re: Obscene? Nah.

      "Children won't know it's obscene unless someone tells them"

      Half the population has got one and around 80% of the rest of the population can legally have access to one* (based on an average life expectancy around 80), so it really is time we started to grow up a bit.

      *I stole this one from Punch, sometime in the 1960s and a play review, so it's hardly new.

      1. Colabroad

        Re: Obscene? Nah.

        Has this spokesvegetable ever seen a schoolboy's exercise book? I can assure you they've seen crudely drawn cocks before!

    4. John Smith 19 Gold badge
      WTF?

      Hey. Councillor dumbass. Fix the f**king pothole and you won't have to clean the c**k

      That is all.

    5. Grant Fromage

      Re: Obscene? Nah.

      If you keep a a straight face and don`t make a big fuss then kids will never twig that something is up and will not ask about it.

      If you fail and they ask and you start prevaricating, they will get that something mysterious and grown up is going on. They will almost certainly ask gran or grandad who have a different take and undermine the parents , but mostly in a good way from a distance of years and very don`t panic.

      I wish i could remember who said " A thing has within it that which the observer has means to see". Keep them in the dark and you will be fine

      It is known as a CDC-crudely drawn cock with Journo`s I know. I believe It goes back to b3ta.com as a meme 10+ years ago.

      I may do the same on potholes I find as wheel eaters need sorting. If only lorries paid the correct portion of road tax as the damage they cause. It is the 4th power of axle loading.

      This will give most things and links to original papers, But the uk TRRL and their military precedents are not mentioned and their stuff is late 40`s, perhaps what tanks do to a road is still classified.

      nvfnorden.org/lisalib/getfile.aspx?itemid=261

      You need to blame Winston Churchill for putting road tax into the common tax purse rather than funding road improvement.

    6. Frumious Bandersnatch Silver badge

      Re: Obscene? Nah.

      > Children won't know it's obscene unless someone tells them

      Just like the "rude dolphins" picture. I'm sure you can "bing" it (granted, that doesn't sound right; it kind of sucks).

    7. anothercynic Silver badge

      Re: Obscene? Nah.

      But... but... but... THINK OF THE CHILDREN! (*in a shrill Mary Whitehouse voice*)

    8. MrXavia

      Re: Obscene? Nah.

      I would laugh with my kids if we saw this on the street

  4. hplasm Silver badge
    Stop

    A council wonk said:...

    "“Every penny that we have to spend cleaning off this graffiti is a penny less that we have to spend on actually repairing the potholes.” "

    I say Bollocks. Just do the bloody work.

    Oh - and stop thinking about kids...

    1. Hans Neeson-Bumpsadese Silver badge

      Re: A council wonk said:...

      Spending a penny to clean off grafitti? Maybe weeing on it will be of some use, but personally I'd recommend some sort of detergent or spirit-based solvent

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: A council wonk said:...

      First of all - do they have the pennies?

      The amount of potholes at the moment reminds me of the worst years of Eastern Europe recession in the late 90-es and the failing local municipalities post-recession in the 2000-2007 or thereabouts.

      The situation screams "no money" with a loudhailer.

      All we need is to make the cars produce the same clouds of acrid fumes as the Mad Max rusty abominations Germany, Austria and France dumped into Eastern Europe during the same 1995-2005 period instead of recycling. Just do that and the picture will be complete.

      Now, why there is no money and who is lying about it - you just need to listen to PM questions a couple of times.

    3. kain preacher Silver badge

      Re: A council wonk said:...

      "“Every penny that we have to spend cleaning off this graffiti is a penny less that we have to spend on actually repairing the potholes.” "

      Um wouldn't paving the damn pot holes get rid of the graffiti or am I missing some thing ?

    4. GIRZiM

      Re: A council wonk said:...

      Are you sure that's how you spell it?

      'Oi, wonker!'

      Are you sure sure you haven't been mishearing it?

  5. tiggity Silver badge

    Might try it

    Pothole central near me, council do zilch.

    If a bit of naughty graffiti gets them quickly coming to fix it then bonus for local vehicles.

  6. Korev Silver badge
    Coat

    Yep, we should erect something to stop it happening

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Paris Hilton

      Unfortunately the graffiti will be coming quicker than the pothole fillers.

      Paris, because she seems to have no problems getting her potholes filled on a regular basis.

    2. AceRimmer1980
      Pint

      Or pass a members-only bill.

    3. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
      Childcatcher

      It's *so* hard!

      Yep, we should erect something to stop it happening

      No, you are onto something here. If a simple patch has an limited lifespan, then increasing the length and hardness of the patch will extend that, allowing it to stay up and working it for months. I propose shoving a 10 foot steel pole right into each hole. This will have the practical effect of plugging the holes and extending the length of time the patch will be effective. Bigger is better!

  7. wolfetone Silver badge

    "However, the authorities were less than impressed. A spokesman from Bury council said:

    “Has this person, for just one second, considered how families with young children must feel when they are confronted with these obscene symbols as they walk to school? Not only is this vandalism, but it’s also counter-productive."

    What about said family who's vehicle is damaged because of a pothole that hasn't been fixed, which could result in their parents either not getting to work or falling in to debt to fix the car?

    Every penny that we have to spend cleaning off this graffiti is a penny less that we have to spend on actually repairing the potholes."

    Well you didn't have the graffiti on the road in the first place but you chose not to fix the potholes, so away with you dickhead.

    1. Ledswinger Silver badge

      Well you didn't have the graffiti on the road in the first place but you chose not to fix the potholes, so away with you dickhead.

      I've a lot of time for the labourers in dayglo coats who do the actual work of road maintenance, but when it comes to the white collar council whiners always bleating on about "services" and not having enough money, I suggest that they be pulped, the pulp mixed with a two part resin to make a new, long life, easy pour pothole filler. "Council red" would be cheap to make, raw materials are evidently abundant, and so quick to apply that all the potholes. Maybe we should have each "contributor's" name stencilled by the potholes their residue fills - and then we could spray paint a cock over it as well.

      1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

        Maybe we should have each "contributor's" name stencilled by the potholes their residue fills

        Applause.

        However, on a more serious note - it is an indicator that the council has f*** all money. It does not matter how many times the government robs Peter to pay Paul or how many pound notes undergo a pocket tennis movement from one pocket to the other. The economy does not look good and the potholes are one of the best indicators I know. I have survived through some seriously deep recessions outside Britain and you could literally get the real (not fictional presented by the government) economic metrics by the pothole size and more importantly depth.

    2. Aitor 1 Silver badge

      400 miles.

      That is how long I had the suspension lasted in good condition las time. Four coils in three years, plus three bearings. Unacceptable.

      Holes a foot deep taking a week to get badly repaired.. on a main internal road of the city... and holes that I reported A YEAR ago unfixed.. what was a surface repair is now structural repair.

      1. Julian 8

        Get a couple of cans of spray and spray the biggest cock ever, preferable in a luminous spray so it is easy to see at night

      2. LucreLout Silver badge

        That is how long I had the suspension lasted in good condition las time. Four coils in three years, plus three bearings. Unacceptable.

        And yet the very people whose job it is to keep the roads passable moan and whine like stuck pigs about people buying offroaders, seemingly wihtout irony.

        (I don't have one myself, but given the scale of damage the poster is talking about, I can see why they might get one next time)

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Hills Road

    Hills Road in Cambridge (A main road to Addenbrooke's hospital) has some horrible road conditions. The council filled in the absolute worst pot hole after several months, but they ignored all the others that were within 10 yards.

    1. caffeine addict Silver badge

      Re: Hills Road

      The entire city is a mess. Madingley Road is a traffic hazard.

      Maybe the govt should give the whole lot to highways and take the relevant chunk of money from the local council.

      1. Loyal Commenter Silver badge

        Re: Hills Road

        Maybe the govt should give the whole lot to highways and take the relevant chunk of money from the local council.

        Hahaha, I'm guessing they won't do that because:

        a) Highways England wouldn't get any funding to do it, or that funding would have to come from the treasury

        and

        b) The councils probably don't get any money from central government to fix them in the first place, and are now expected to get those funds from council tax, whilst at the same time not being permitted to raise council taxes by more than an amount which is less than inflation.

        1. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Hills Road

          " The councils probably don't get any money from central government to fix them in the first place"

          Virtually all potholes are a result of failure to do minor work like cleaning drains. They're a symptom that your council's been corner cutting for a long time.

          Around these parts (not a million miles from Cock Lane) I filmed a drains contractor driving down the road, stopping at each one for 60-90 seconds, not bothering to get out and inspect, let alone clean 'em, then drive on to the next one. He noticed he was being filmed, got out of his truck and started being pretty aggressive (including demands to not be filmed etc), but also denied working under contract for the council. Unfortunately for him the logs showed that the company he was working for signed off the drains as cleaned, they were still blocked+flooding the next day and the youtube videos of his (lack of) work plus denials ended up in the hands of local councillors.

          We (councillors and a couple of council auditors) suspected that particular rort was going on for a while, but it was nice to actually document it. Not that it mattered as the council refuses to do anything about the dodgy contractor - too many family hands in the cookie jar (and yes, this is in the SE of the UK)

          On the subject of Cock Lane - the Crusader's work resulted in the council there closing the road to do resurfacing, estimating it to be closed for 4-6 days at a cost of about £50k. It actually took closer to 6 months and £350k because the roadbed was so badly damaged due to lack of drainage that it had to be completely rebuilt from scratch in a lot of places. Whilst rebuilding the lane the council also found that 3/4 of the roadside gullies had been paved over - which meant that water had built up, soaked into the roadbed and effectively destroyed it. So yes, the Cock Lane Crusader had a bloody good point.

          1. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

            Re: Hills Road

            Virtually all potholes are a result of failure to do minor work like cleaning drains

            Um.. no. Potholes at this time of year happen when water gets into the road surface (and it doesn't take much at the right time) and then freezes. The ice expansion then breaks the tarmac, creating more pocks for the water to settle in (and where it can't drain away). Next frost or snow does more damage. The broken tarmac gets displaced by vehicle tyres and a hole forms (and gets deepened by futrher tyre impacts).

            Poor quality road tarmac or repairs don't help - more small voids for water to get trapped in, more chances for ice pockets to form.

            Improper drainage might have been the cause in your particular instance, but it isn't the case round here.

        2. Aitor 1 Silver badge

          Re: Hills Road

          My council has a huge surplus of employees... with no budget for them to be productive. Ridiculous.

    2. Tom 7 Silver badge

      Re: Hills Road

      We had some potholes near us and the council were forced to put out to tender for the work. A few months later a 10' by 7' pothole had a 1'*2' patch put in the bottom as that was what the contractor had tendered for.

      I've had to put a set of cheap wheels on my car after I lost one (and some suspension) in a hole that wasnt there the week before, I reckon for every pound the tories save me in council tax costs me about 50 as a result. Thanks.

      1. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge

        Re: Hills Road

        Sue the council. If everyone does that they'll learn that fixing the holes is cheaper.

      2. Alan Brown Silver badge

        Re: Hills Road

        "I've had to put a set of cheap wheels on my car after I lost one (and some suspension) in a hole that wasnt there the week before"

        You can claim damage costs from your council - and oif they try to weasel out of it by claiming "noone had reported it", a small claims filing will change that tune very quickly.

        One council had to pay out almost £1million for ONE pothole incident.

    3. Ledswinger Silver badge

      Re: Hills Road

      The council filled in the absolute worst pot hole after several months, but they ignored all the others that were within 10 yards.

      Fill them in yourself with a few bags of postcrete one night. Then report to the council that you believe somebody other than the council has done a DIY bodge on potholes. The jobsworths will have a truck on site in hours, fearful that their monopoly is under threat from pothole fillers without the right paperwork.

  9. Aaiieeee
    Meh

    Ok so there are now 2 issues: potholes and graffiti. They are saying the graffiti is reducing their ability to address the potholes; surely addressing the potholes will have a direct impact on grafitti incidence and they will both be reduced?

    As for the kids, its not ideal but its better they see graffiti than suffer a car incident due to a ruptured tyre or something.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      better they see graffiti than suffer a car incident due to a ruptured tyre or something.

      You mean like them going over the handlebars of their bike under the car overtaking them?

      This is Cambridge(shire) we are talking about. 95% of households have at least one cyclist. It is a location where kids cycle and most of the potholes are exactly within what is considered cycle lane.

      Whoever draws it should add an obscenity addressing the council to every pothole in fluorescent yellow for good measure.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If they did that round my way it would be like being in a sausage factory. Nothing but a sprawling sea of cocks as far as the eye could see.

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