"Mangler" is also a real word and can usually be substituted for "Manager"
Welcome once more to On-Call, The Register’s weekly reader-contributed story of tech support trauma. On-Call dipped into its mailbag in the hope of finding an Easter story, but found a cracking Christmas story sent by chap named “Peter”. “An irate customer called me on Christmas Eve, incandescent that a letter had gone to a …
Thursday 29th March 2018 07:46 GMT Anonymous Coward
Thursday 29th March 2018 11:18 GMT apepper
Thursday 29th March 2018 13:01 GMT Voyna i Mor
Re: If you get a bit twitchy ....
There's a French version of this. A French bird watcher was asked how he kept the records of all the birds he'd seen. As he was rather proud of being up to date he meant to say "Sur mon ordinateur" (computer) but actually said "Ornidateur".
Which was a happy accident because "Ornidateur" consists of the greek root "orni-" (about birds) and "dateur", which would be a French machine for storing data.
Also, the version of the Humphrey Littleton story I heard was that the question he was asked was "Are you something of an orthinologist, thus his later realising that he should have said "No, I'm not a word botcher."
Friday 30th March 2018 10:25 GMT Tom Paine
Thursday 29th March 2018 11:56 GMT NBCanuck
Re: If you get a bit twitchy ....
"Orthinology - word botching. Be sure to allow it in your spillchucking dictionary."
My internal spell-checker (brain) misread that as "Ornithology".
People are over reliant on spell-checkers. I always re-read important emails before they go out. Sometimes my brain thinks one word but gets overwritten by muscle memory into similar other words. Not that I am an incredibly fast typist, it's just that my fingers sometimes seem to be trying to predict what I want to type before I compete the thought.
Thursday 29th March 2018 07:47 GMT Dave 126
Google's GBoard accepts Mangle* immediately, but if I type Mange (an undesirable canine condition I believe, but then I'm not a Venetian**) and then space without pausing it substitutes Manage.
*"We haven't laughed that much since... aunty Mabel caught her left tit in the mangle." Though I believe with modern spin driers the word Mangle is more commonly used as a verb these days.
** Or a vetinarian.
Thursday 29th March 2018 08:07 GMT jake
Thursday 29th March 2018 09:34 GMT Empty1
Re: One of my spall chuckers ...
Eye halve a spelling chequer
It came with my pea sea
It plainly marques four my revue
Miss steaks eye kin knot sea.
Eye strike a quay and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait a weigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the error rite
Its really ever wrong.
Eye have run this poem threw it
I am shore your pleased two no
Its letter perfect in it's weigh
My chequer tolled me sew.
Thursday 29th March 2018 09:40 GMT jake
Re: One of my spall chuckers ...
(Sauce knot unknown ... and the hole thing.)
Owed to a Spell Checker (AKA "Candidate for a Pullet Surprise")
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC.
It plane lee marks four my revue
Miss steaks aye can knot sea.
Eye ran this poem threw it,
Your sure reel glad two no.
Its vary polished in it's weigh.
My checker tolled me sew.
A checker is a bless sing,
It freeze yew lodes of thyme.
It helps me right awl stiles two reed,
And aides me when eye rime.
Each frays come posed up on my screen
Eye trussed too bee a joule.
The checker pours o'er every word
To cheque sum spelling rule.
Bee fore a veiling checker's
Hour spelling mite decline,
And if we're lacks oar have a laps,
We wood bee maid too wine.
Butt now bee cause my spelling
Is checked with such grate flare,
Their are know fault's with in my cite,
Of nun eye am a wear.
Now spelling does knot phase me,
It does knot bring a tier.
My pay purrs awl due glad den
With wrapped word's fare as hear.
To rite with care is quite a feet
Of witch won should bee proud,
And wee mussed dew the best wee can,
Sew flaw's are knot aloud.
Sow ewe can sea why aye dew prays
Such soft wear four pea seas,
And why eye brake in two averse
Buy righting want too pleas.
-Mark Eckman and Jerrold H. Zar, early 1990s
Thursday 29th March 2018 10:48 GMT Amos1
Thursday 29th March 2018 18:23 GMT Someone Else
Thursday 29th March 2018 08:42 GMT Ralph the Wonder Llama
Thursday 29th March 2018 08:56 GMT JimboSmith
My boss at the time had written a letter to someone saying that we were ending our relationship with them. The letter was passed to a lawyer for checking that it was airtight and the other person would be able to have nothing more to do with us. Boss was mildly annoyed that the letter had come back with spelling (and grammar) corrections. I pointed out that for the money we were paying it was good that all the autocorrect misspellings had been fixed..What was funny was after the letter was delivered to the recipient the boss received a call immediately. They were pleading for the relationship not to be dissolved and promising to improve things but by then it was too late, way too late.
Thursday 29th March 2018 10:20 GMT Mine's a Large One
Thursday 29th March 2018 12:41 GMT PhilipN
Thursday 29th March 2018 09:32 GMT Anomalous Cowshed
Thursday 29th March 2018 07:17 GMT John H Woods
Thursday 29th March 2018 12:15 GMT heyrick
Thursday 29th March 2018 23:32 GMT Sam Therapy
Had a similar experience with someone wanting me to design a half page newspaper ad. I have a set of fixed prices for drawn artwork, depending on size and whether it's colour or mono. Guy wouldn't listen and kept trying to bargain me down. I told him I didn't need the work but if he was set on me doing it for him, he'd have to pay my rates, no exceptions.
Eventually he gave up and went somewhere else. Paid double my rates and got a much smaller ad.
Thursday 29th March 2018 07:32 GMT Dave 126
Validation Vs verification
A spell checker can only check that a word is valid, it cannot verify that it is the word you want. Well, it can be programmed to know that some words tend to follow others (i.e 'would have' and not 'would of') but bringing these things to the user's attention can irritate them, much like the green squiggly lines in MS Word.
The Google keyboard for Android will often substitute a correctly typed rare word for the note common word it *thinks* you want. If you type the word 'manger' and quickly press space, it will substitute the more commonly used word 'manager', but if you pause for half a second before pressing space then it will keep 'manger'.
It's a bit smarter than the classic T9 "are you coming down the sub for a riot?" *pub *pint.