back to article What the @#$%&!? Microsoft bans nudity, swearing in Skype, emails, Office 365 docs

Microsoft has advised customers that offensive language on Skype, in an Outlook.com email, or in an Office 365 Word document is a potentially account-closing offense under its updated terms of use. The tweaked services agreement, which comes into effect on May 1, 2018, now includes the following code-of-conduct item: Don’t …

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  1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    No Cussing Allowed?

    How will that go down with the upholders on the 1st Ammendment in the USA?

    This does seem to be the Puritan side of the USA psyche coming to the fore again.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: No Cussing Allowed?

      The first amendment does not mean what you think it means.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: No Cussing Allowed?

        "The first amendment does not mean what you think it means."

        and, in one of my favourite Bart "blackboard lines" scenes in the Simpson's opening credits

        "cursive writing is not what I thought it was"

        1. dread

          Re: No Cussing Allowed?

          As a non coward us citizen I am for one tired of you over sensitive pricks tell me what I can or cannot say if you don't like it don't fucking read or listen to it. If someone is spouting nonsense that you don't like you what? Sensible answer is walk away not start this shit show you idiots start over words they are words, ppl are being arrested and loosing their jobs over pronouns him hers his etc. And child molesters still walk the streets WTF!

    2. Just Enough

      Re: No Cussing Allowed?

      Microsoft is not the US Government. Therefore the 1st Amendment to the United States Constitution has absolutely no relevance to the matter.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: No Cussing Allowed?

        @Just Enough

        That is absolutely correct. But it shows what a bunch of anal retentive idiots the folks at Microsoft are.

        I am reminded of how quickly the then fledgling Tay AI chat bot was snuffed in its cradle by Microsoft when she began to speak things that offend people. So, this is hardly the first time that Microsoft is policing speech.

        Anyhow, besides Windows and Office (offline suite, not 365), I have no other use for Microsoft's products and services. I have sworn off Skype long ago and am hardly interested in Linkedin or Minecraft.

        Get thee behind me SatNad, I rebuke you in the name of common sense!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: No Cussing Allowed?

          F Microsoft. If they want to shut down the speech of their own bot, fine. But if I need to tell off someone over skype, or in a blistering e-mail with a document attached, that's too bad. That's my speech, and they are not allowed to read or censor what's in my e-mail or attachments.

          Besides, what about all the skype strippers? Won't someone think of all the single moms out there!!

      2. Kabukiwookie
        Paris Hilton

        Re: No Cussing Allowed?

        And doing business with a company that can essentially close down your entire business workflow at the drop of a hat is not a good long term strategy.

        Although I am sure that if this does happen, MS will only close down Office 365 for small companies that can't feasibly fight back; large companies like AT&T, HP and the large merchant banks will probably not have the same rules applied (although it would be funny to watch the fallout if these rules were applied indiscriminantly).

        1. ps2os2

          Re: No Cussing Allowed?

          Which is why it will be thrown out of court.

        2. Dave 15 Silver badge

          Re: No Cussing Allowed?

          Well any business that has been stupid enough to think cloud computing - whether with Microshite, Amazon or anyone else is sensible will sharp find their secrets shared with anyone and everyone - especially the US government and services stopped whenever the US feels like it.

          1. Updraft102 Silver badge

            Re: No Cussing Allowed?

            Well any business that has been stupid enough to think cloud computing - whether with Microshite, Amazon or anyone else is sensible...

            It does seem like the counterpoints are coming in fast and furious these days, like all of the cloud providers are out to inform people demonstratively of why cloud services are a crock. Amazon's music storage service is going away, and Microsoft's Groove service (I think) already went. Photobucket alienated a ton of people by effectively locking up a ton of pictures hosted there and shown in various internet forums by going from "free" to "orders of magnitude more costly than it would ever really be worth" all at once.

            I've used Photobucket to host pics on a few different forums scattered across the internet, and there's no way that I am going to go back and edit those ancient posts (if I even can) to point to a new host, and to reupload all of those pics on those forums to that host. There's also no way I'm gonna pay $400 a year for low-traffic forum hosting; if I was running en eBay business or something like that, I'd probably think differently (though I would still have cheaper and better options), but for my use, Photobucket is pointless now. There's a lot of information in forum posts like that that is essentially lost now, as all you get is an obnoxious demand for money in each of those posts instead of whatever the poster was trying to illustrate.

            Sure, Photobucket can do what it has done if it wants, since it owns the service, but that's just the point... it owns the service, so it can do whatever it wants, whether or not that conflicts with my interests. That's the wonder that is the cloud... keeping your files on someone else's computer, subject to their business plan, their security practices, and their whims. Great, where do I sign up?

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: No Cussing Allowed?

        Ah, yeah, most of us are fully aware of the distinction between public speech and private forums vis-a-vis 1A.

        Fewer of us consider the implications of a world where our public and personal communication is increasingly controlled by private 3rd party entities that claim dominion over our so-called rights. A world in which, as a practical matter, our free speech privileges are rapidly diminishing as a practical matter. In every layer, in every medium.

        I'll lock you in a padded room. Scream to your heart's content. Enjoy your rights.

        Bliss.

        1. Dave 15 Silver badge

          Re: No Cussing Allowed?

          More interesting to me is that it implies that Microsoft are looking at everything I send and listening to everything I say, probably even looking at every image on every camera on skype as well... if that includes skype for business (a hateful piece of crud) then many a european business is letting Microsoft see what they are doing every day.

      4. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: No Cussing Allowed?

        "Microsoft is not the US Government."

        Not yet, anyway. Well, okay, it'll probably be Google or Amazon, but the effect is much the same.

      5. Dave 15 Silver badge

        Re: No Cussing Allowed?

        Irrelevant, its not about government or not its about rights.

      6. razorfishsl

        Re: No Cussing Allowed?

        They don't have to be the government.

        They are a company and subject to the laws of the US, the same way they are subject to Gender laws.

        1. Updraft102 Silver badge

          Re: No Cussing Allowed?

          They don't have to be the government.

          They are a company and subject to the laws of the US, the same way they are subject to Gender laws.

          Um, yeah they do have to be the government. The First Amendment, like all of the Bill of Rights, is a list of things the government is not permitted to do to people. That's what a right is-- something you can do without government interference.

          The government has no rights... the government has powers, and those powers are delineated and restricted by the Constitution and other laws. Private entities have rights, and Microsoft is a private entity that has its own right to dictate what kinds of expression are permissible on their network. If Microsoft was owned by the government, there would be a real problem here, but it's not.

    3. Deadly_NZ

      Re: No Cussing Allowed?

      To say nothing of all the other countries that have free Speech laws now. that this would fall foul of.

      1. The Aussie Paradox
        Black Helicopters

        Re: No Cussing Allowed?

        Not to mention, this will block 90% of the Australian dictionary...

        Well now, how am I going to describe in great detail the latest cricket team fiasco?

    4. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Re: No Cussing Allowed?

      keep in mind that "offensive" might include anything that disagrees with POLITICAL CORRECTNESS.

      Micro-shaft can take their *PROFANITY* *PROFANITY* services and *PROFANITY* *PROFANITY* *PROFANITY* !!!

    5. Jack_Rainbow

      Re: No Cussing Allowed?

      you are confusing the issue which has nothing to do with the fifteenth century. Microsoft is responding to the cretinous Christians on its board and the cretinous Christians who lead communities in the USA. They are compelled to inflict their genital guilt on everyone else. Don't worry about X box, they will soon get round to dealing with that. You can expect this tightening and constriction of free speech to accelerate over the coming months. Judging by the witless comments on this thread, America has no people prepared to deal with the onslaught, (forget Trump, he's a wanker) likely enough you will all roll over paws up for the genitally guilty power elite of the USA to destroy the foundations of civilisation right before your very eyes as you go ninny-whining on the web.

      1. Dave 15 Silver badge

        Re: No Cussing Allowed?

        I remember one amusing story of an American porn shop being refused a licence because of the damage to the morals of the locals, then finally getting a licence when it revealed that almost every home in the town had a subscription to tv porn

  2. JakeMS Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Linux Torvalds

    Good job Linux Torvalds doesn't use those services, because if he did, he would almost certainly be banned!

    1. Peter da Silva

      Re: Linux Torvalds

      Perkele!

      1. CRConrad

        Re: Linux Torvalds

        Ihan vitun saatanan perkele, kyllä.

    2. Just Enough

      Re: Linux Torvalds

      Is that Linus' brother?

      1. Chemical Bob
        Terminator

        Re: Linux Torvalds

        Its Linus' *robot* brother...

        1. CRConrad

          Re: Linux Torvalds

          The one who wanted to grow up to become an Elisa base station?

      2. JakeMS Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: Linux Torvalds

        I can't believe I made that typo, My Bad!

    3. PeteA

      Re: Linux Torvalds

      ... and thereby demonstrating the reasoning behind Richard Stallman's viewpoints.

  3. Kevin McMurtrie Silver badge

    It's a feature

    This will make closing a Microsoft account both easy and satisfying.

    1. Halfmad

      Re: It's a feature

      Yeah "**** them"

      Microsoft: You swore! banned!

      User: Cool ,that was the whole point *****.

    2. macjules Silver badge

      Re: It's a feature

      Yes, I'll just say that I live in Scunthorpe and that Microsoft is deliberately marginalising me. If that fails then as a citizen of Scratchy Bottom, Dorset I feel victimised.

      1. Scroticus Canis Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: It's a feature - Scunthorpe

        So you can't ask Cortana "If Typhoo put the T in Britain, who put the .... in Scunthorpe"

        1. Richard 12 Silver badge

          Re: It's a feature - Scunthorpe

          I miss the mayor of Wetwang. By far my favourite Countdown host.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: It's a feature - Scunthorpe

          I've just spent 5 minutes giving Cortana an earful of the vilest things I can think of (there are many, trust me) and it hasn't phased it in the slightest.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: It's a feature

        And what about the citizens of Uranus's newly discovered moon, bumholè.

    3. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: It's a feature

      This could be fun...say if the boss of a corporation writes a profanity laced missive to the troops. (I've seen it). Would they ban him/her or the whole company? The possibilities boggle the mind.

      1. Whit.I.Are

        Re: It's a feature

        Classic speech to the troops:

        https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_S._Patton%27s_speech_to_the_Third_Army

    4. bombastic bob Silver badge
      Unhappy

      Re: It's a feature

      wait until it auto-bans you based on poor swear-bot behavior, like "shitake mushrooms" where IRC swear-bots will occasionally kick/ban you because of something like that

      1. Rattus Rattus

        Re: @bombastic bob

        And so they should. It's shiitake mushroom.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @bombastic bob

          It's "Shit Ache" and you KNOW it is! ;-)

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: @bombastic bob

          Tha's bullshiit.

  4. tfewster Silver badge
    Facepalm

    That's Yorkshire fucked then

    Especially residents of Scunthorpe and Penistone.

    However, if Microsoft is monitoring communications, won't they lose their common-carrier status and become liable for all crimes committed with the aid of these tools?

    1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

      Re: That's Yorkshire fucked then

      Don't forget those counties down south that have 'sex' in their names. I had web sites refuse to register me in the past when entering the county.

      There are even a few of them over in the land of the Good Ole Boys as well.

      Middlesex becomes Middleshhhhcan'ttellyou.

      How will TOWIE carry on? the 'sex' bit was part of their MO.

      1. psychonaut

        Re: That's Yorkshire fucked then

        how will i be able to garner the opinions of fellow techie's on expertsexchange now?

        oh? they changed the name a while ago? because the first one they came up with was hilarious?oh ok. ..

        1. jelabarre59 Silver badge

          Re: That's Yorkshire fucked then

          how will i be able to garner the opinions of fellow techie's on expertsexchange now?

          oh? they changed the name a while ago? because the first one they came up with was hilarious?oh ok. ..

          It's better than having a NON-expert one...

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: That's Yorkshire fucked then

          Or the poor folks at "mole-station Nurseries" (a plant producer) when the hyphen is dropped.

      2. Chronos Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: That's Yorkshire fucked then

        How will TOWIE carry on?

        Every cloud...

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: That's Yorkshire fucked then

      "Especially residents of Scunthorpe and Penistone."

      Scunthorpe's been moved to Yorkshire?

      OTOH the residents of Overton, Middlestown and Netherton might have a problem with the ancient township which included them (exercise left to the reader).

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