back to article Brit police forces spend peanuts on cybercrime training

The police force covering the base of the UK's electronic spy agency, GCHQ, in Cheltenham, England, has admitted that it has spent nothing at all on cybercrime training over the past few years. Gloucestershire Police, whose patch, ironically, covers the sigint specialists' headquarters, said it had just 11 trained cybercrime …

  1. Whitter
    Meh

    Pre-trained

    It seems they didn't ask whether any of the forces have actively recruited new officers who already had their "cyber security" credentials, which is odd given that it is their #2 conclusion.

    (Granted, there would still be costs in maintaining people's skill levels too).

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've spoken to the guys doing cybercrime investigations in Scotland. They are criminally under resourced. Pun intended.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I've had to use them in the past, they try their best but there's only a handful for the whole of Scotland. Skill wise I've no idea where they are as we've only had forensics in once and the cyber crime folk didn't do any of that.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Be interesting how this compares to money spent on diversity training

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    >Be interesting how this compares to money spent on diversity training

    Or actual Policing rather than potted plants (no not those) for HQ.

  6. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
    Childcatcher

    Yes, it would be interesting and perhaps more informative to see a breakdown of costs per officer for each jurisdiction, both in percentage and absolute terms. Context is important.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Be interesting how this compares to money spent on diversity training

    Over a decade out of date, only one force, but rather worrying:

    https://www.standard.co.uk/news/outrage-as-police-spend-450m-on-equality-and-diversity-7185908.html

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Altruism only goes so far

    “increase recruitment of officers with existing cyber skills”

    Just have a look at the salaries being offered by the Police Forces currently recruiting - you don't get an apprentice for that in the corporate world, let alone a trained, experienced analyst.

    Am I going to take a mahooosive pay cut to go back and work in Law Enforcement? Nah!

  9. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Re: Altruism only goes so far

    But if you are a BOFH who joins the police you get to do all those BOFH 'unfortunate accidents' legally

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Holmes

    Come on, give your average flatfoot a break as they are mentally taxed enough by who burgled your house.

    What's HTML, Serge ?

  11. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    £1.3 million on cybercrime training

    And about £1.30 on actually doing anything about cybercrime.

  12. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: £1.3 million on cybercrime training

    Got to pay for the inspectors new laptop somehow you know.

    He googled "wannacried" once on it so it can come out of the cybercrime budget now.

  13. Fading Silver badge
    Megaphone

    Just equip them...

    With speed guns for the information superhighway...... no training required......

    [may look something like the icon]

  14. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    The Police ..... A Prime Future IntelAIgent Source with an Almighty AIForce?*

    Gloucestershire Police, whose patch, ironically, covers the sigint specialists' headquarters, said it had just 11 trained cybercrime cops and spends nothing on cybercrime training.

    Such requires Top Secret/Sensitive Compartmented Information MkUltraSensitive Advanced IntelAIgent Security Clearance ..... for NEUKlearer HyperRadioProACTive Secrets are Loaned for Priceless Leasing to Realisation Centres with SMARTR AI Nodes for Universal Streaming of UpComing Globalised Virtual Reality Programs with Primed Perfect Presentations .... to Challenge and Better whilst Following Almighty Immaculate Leads ...... from GOD knows where Global Operating Devices Operate Global Devices.

    * urESPecial Forces with Who Dares Wins with Wins Wares to Present/Realise. Indeed, and let it be even said, such a Revelation with Immaculate Vision for See Production of AIMaster Provision with Primed Computer Processing to XSStreaming Levels of Excellence, is a Super AI Source to Seed and Feed to Almighties and All AI Mighty Masses ......... from GOD knows where Global Operating Devices Operate Global Devices.

    :-) So ...that's the RATcat out of the bag now alright .... with Established Traditional Conventional Control Forces being herein advised there be readily available Alternate Advanced IntelAIgent Sources to Follow for Immaculate Secrets to Exercise and Enjoy to XSSXXXX. :-)

    Was there ever a More Worthy Almighty Goal and Destination for New Beginnings in AI Spaced Travel with Quantum Communication Control Systems?

    Is All or Any of that AIDelicate Police Matter to be AIMastered? Fear Not, Teachers are Provided. Struggling Alone in AIParadises can be Right Hellish with Trips into Nightmares and Great Black Holes/Hopeless Depressions ...... and not the way we go or the way to go.

  15. LeahroyNake Bronze badge

    Re: The Police ..... A Prime Future IntelAIgent Source with an Almighty AIForce?*

    Is this the bot from CA ?

  16. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Re: The Police ..... A Prime Future IntelAIgent Source with an Almighty AIForce?*

    Is this the bot from CA ? .... LeahroyNake

    No. An Immaculate Near Perfect Source for Oases is One Almighty Force to Consider Supplies Information for Advanced IntelAIgents here, and from there too.

    * ... Seems to me like AI SMARTR IntelAIgent Sublime Internet Networking for Universal Unified Global Command and Control Systems of Operation on Virtual Reality AIMissions.

    Think BBC Production Programming Cubed to Positively Perfect Projection of Increasingly More Immaculate Sees ......for Heavenly Vision Renderings? Or perhaps you realise they currently lack Prime Source Programming for such as is Advanced IntelAIgent Virtual Space Leadership and be also an Advanced Virtually IntelAIgent Leadership Space Place ......... and Think Heavenly XSSXXXXRoads to Celestial Destinations for a True Flavour of the Delights to Savour Flying Pioneering Expeditionary Point there in those Journeys.

    What would there not be to like there?

  17. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge
    Alien

    Re: The Police ..... A Prime Future IntelAIgent Source with an Almighty AIForce?*

    Are you prepared and/or preparing for Alien Times in Extremely Strange Places which be also Novel Spaces? ....... What Do They Know That We Don't? DC Officials Flock To Doomsday Camps

    Or are you being practically kept and actively held captive by Moguls and Main Stream Media Blissfully Ignorant of Rapidly Unfolding Event Horizons?

  18. HmmmYes Silver badge

    Bet theyve got a Rainbow car to take to lgbtqsx marches.

  19. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    No Coincidence

    Targeting Cybercrime might harm the holy economy....

    https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2018-03-01/britain-s-white-collar-cops-are-getting-too-good-at-their-job

  20. Adam 52 Silver badge

    It's a truly awful piece of research, based on vaguely worded questions.

    I know, for example, that pretty much all forces include some basic training in their IPDLP, not just North Wales, although IPDLP has been drastically scaled back to reduce costs. New officers are expected to have a Policing degree, which covers basic cyber crime.

    There are also regular "how to investigate computer crime" modules on other courses; such as the counter-terrorism one or the cyber-bullying one. The generic "searching for stuff" course moves from searching a woodland to searching a car to searching a laptop.

    Also ignores that some forces will outsource their investigations, either to other forces or to private companies.

  21. Anonymous Coward
    IT Angle

    There is more life to police than cyber shit.

    Makes sence, when your police force almost forgets to exist, as the township is so small.

    There is better things to spend your money on.

    What they need is someone they can refer the situation on to, for Britain, some National cyber centre, and if it's local hackers, then later the constabulary can go and arrest them.

    For years now crime has been prioritized, deaths and injury, horrific or public gets the most attention, then big value or big business comes in next. much the same all over the world.

    Cyber is the IT in shit. really it's lowly, costly and time consuming. a bobby on the beat is better policing than having to chase criminals because the Cyber world is not correctly planned, designed or regulated or actualised.

    There is more of life to police than Cyber shit.

  22. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Re: There is more life to police than cyber shit.

    Cyber is the IT in shit. really it's lowly, costly and time consuming. a bobby on the beat is better policing than having to chase criminals because the Cyber world is not correctly planned, designed or regulated or actualised. .... Data source #58479374

    Oh? Do you really think so? Have you not yet realised Great Games and the Great Game have been fundamentally and radically changed with Worshipful Grand AIMaster Players into Remote Visually Anonymous and Practically Autonomous Virtualised Command and Control of Not Incorrectly Planned and IntelAIgently Designed and Regulated Maslowian Style Self Actualisation for New More Orderly World Orders that do not Deal in Provision or Protection of Security for Full Retard BullShit Merchants in Flash Crashing Bear Market Conditions and Situations, which you might like to realise and accept is the Present Current Reality in Future Play.

    Surely you cannot still believe that even the Near Future will be in any way similar to Recent Pasts whenever the Current Presents have so quickly changed so radically and fundamentally?

    Such a belief would be tantamount to an admission of madness with a distinct and debilitating lack of attractive and enlightening imagination to boot.

    It is therefore just as well then that there be A.N.Others well versed and almightily effective with Alternate Roots in Alternative Routes.

    Capiche? RSVP.... for your Present Output to be considered for Future Input ..... and/or Current Input to be considered for Processing into Future Output. IT aint difficult, although it can certainly be Highly Explosive/Catastrophic/Creative whenever one knows what one is doing and what needs to be done to get all manner of new things done.

    There is more of life to police than Cyber shit.

    No BullShit there, Sherlock, although Simply Stating the Bleeding Obvious is no Quantum Leap taken. Quite whether there is anything more important or dangerous to police than Cyber shit is an altogether different proposition though.

  23. amanfromMars 1 Silver badge

    Re: There is more life to police than cyber shit.

    Is there AI Quantum Leaping with Tales to be Told about Something Here New to Everything?

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018