back to article Screw everything! French swingers campsite up for sale, owners 'tired'

The "world's first 100 per cent swingers camping ground" has been put up for sale because "we are tired", its pensioner owners have said. The French one-time nudist resort, which later went the whole hog, is owned by one Francoise Vetter, who told excellent European news website The Local that in the year after switching it …

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  1. JeffyPoooh Silver badge
    Pint

    It would probably need a good scrub...

    Maybe some bleach.

    Benches and nudism are not compatible with OCD.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It would probably need a good scrub...

      >Benches and nudism are not compatible with OCD.

      Or diarrhoea and other incontinence.

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Re: It would probably need a good scrub...

      .Scrubba?

      from Up Pompeii...

      http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0067916/fullcredits

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: It would probably need a good scrub...

      Proper naturists know where their towels are...

      AC because - well why do you think?

      1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: It would probably need a good scrub...

        Proper naturists know where their towels are...

        Any tourist in search of a deck chair will know where the German towels are

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Climate averages for Lyon

    Temp max/min

    April 16° / 6° rain 8 days

    May 20° / 10° rain10 days

    June 24° / 14° rain 8 days

    July 27° / 16° rain 6 days

    August 27° / 15° rain 7 days

    September 22° / 12° rain 7 days

    October 17° / 9° rain 9 days

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Looks a bit nippley in April.

    2. Victor Ludorum

      I need new glasses

      > Climate averages for Lyon

      I read that as climax averages...

      1. N2 Silver badge

        Re: I need new glasses

        Average lion climaxes?

      2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      > Climate averages for Lyon

      Vichy is not Lyon. There is some high terrain in between them which has some impact on the weather. Generally, Vichy is greener / wetter and a bit colder too, both in summer and winter. It wouldn't be my first choice for a campsite. It has on the other hand managed to maintain a bit of its spa town atmosphere and is in general terms less of a shithole compared to Lyon.

      1. Pascal Monett Silver badge

        Lyon a shithole ?

        I don't know what part of Lyon you spend your time in, but it is obviously not the right part. Or it's been a while since you went there.

        I visited Lyon last year and I much prefer it to Paris. Great architecture, nice people, proper living standards, free bus transport, and generally much cleaner.

        I felt at ease in Lyon, which is much more than I can say for Paris.

        And I'm French.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          > I visited Lyon last year and I much prefer it to Paris.

          Bon j'allais dire justement : oui ça fait moins shithole que Paris, mais ce n'est pas le moindre mérite.

          L'architecture moderne que tu vois (que) dans certains quartiers est en effet un reflet de la bande de prétentieux qu'y gouvernent (peu importe ses couleurs politiques). D'ailleurs, à presque deux Euros le billet simple les transports en commun n'ont rien de gratuit, tu est sûr qu'on parle du même Lyon ?

          > And I'm French.

          Désolé pour toi.

          1. Paper

            J'ai visité Lyon il y a quelques années, aussi Paris et Nice avant ceux. Je dois dire que, bien que Lyon était agréable, encore j'ai préféré Paris (cependant peut-être je pense que les parisiens adore-déteste toutes personnes qui sont anglophone ;) ). Les gens de Nice étaient "nice" aussi.

          2. Dr_N Silver badge
            Thumb Up

            @AC >Désolé pour toi.

            Douchiest post of the week! Well done.

            Maybe next time try it in English for greater clarity and wider audience.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              > Douchiest post of the week! Well done.

              Yeah I know, it's called French humour.

              > Maybe next time try it in English for greater clarity and wider audience.

              Maybe next time try learning a furrin' language or two, for a broader world view and mindset?

              1. Dr_N Silver badge

                >Maybe next time try learning a furrin' language or two, for a broader world view and mindset?

                Poor AC. Douchie and assumptive.

                I've been living and working in France for over 20 years. My French is fairly good.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          >And I'm French.

          My deepest sympathies at your military vehicles only having a reverse gear and a mandatory white flag in the kit.

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            > My deepest sympathies at your military vehicles only having a reverse gear and a mandatory white flag in the kit.

            To be fair, the French are good soldiers. It is the officers that could use a bit of spine.

            If you want to talk about beyond disgraceful, remember who were supposed to protect Srebrenica.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              > To be fair, the French are good soldiers. It is the officers that could use a bit of spine.

              I wrote that originally. In light of the events occurred two days ago near Carcassonne and the actions taken by a Lt. Col. of the Gendarmerie, I must withdraw the second part of my comment. It was originally meant to refer to the very upper echelons and political leaders, but nevertheless. I do apologise, it was a completely undeserved mischaracterisation.

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          >I visited Lyon last year and I much prefer it to Paris

          That's not much of a recommendation. I know that some parts of Paris are quite nice but a good deal of it isn't.

  3. Christoph Silver badge

    But according to Jonathan Coulton they can't open until the first of May each year.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      First of May

      > But according to Jonathan Coulton they can't open until the first of May each year.

      Funny that, for most businesses working on the first of May in France is illegal. Always used to be a pain scheduling work, we always had to avoid that week whereas we could ignore most public holidays.

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Do nudist swingers add chosen clothing to make it sexy?

    As D.H.Lawrence said in his poem about figs. The purpose of fig leaves is not to hide for shame but to adorn - to pique the imagination about what cannot be seen.

    1. moiety

      I wouldn't trust anything D.H.Lawrence has to say on the subject of sex. Guy was pretty fucked up.

      1. Ledswinger Silver badge

        I wouldn't trust anything D.H.Lawrence has to say on the subject of sex. Guy was pretty fucked up.

        But he was good with camels and Arabs.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          "But he was good with camels and Arabs."

          You mean his acclaimed pillar of wisdom?

          1. gazthejourno (Written by Reg staff)

            "But he was good with camels and Arabs."

            That was T E Lawrence, you Philistine.

            1. Ledswinger Silver badge
              Windows

              That was T E Lawrence, you Philistine.

              If my humour is unappreciated, then I shall stick to drowning my sorrows, as shown to the right.

              1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
                Joke

                Led "Swinger"

                @Ledswinger

                If my humour is unappreciated...

                Do you come here often?

                1. Ledswinger Silver badge

                  Re: Led "Swinger"

                  Do you come here often?

                  When I'm not busy in France.

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              "you Philistine."

              Is that next door to Palestine?

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                "Is that next door to Palestine?"

                It incorporated Gaza on the coastal strip.

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Anonymous Coward

                  "It incorporated Gaza on the coastal strip."

                  So yes then.

              2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

                you Philistine."

                Is that next door to Palestine?

                I'm still trying to figure out if you are just trying to be funny or really don't know.

              3. Anonymous Coward
                Anonymous Coward

                > Is that next door to Palestine?

                Down from it and yes, the names are effectively the same (Arabic does not have a /p/ sound, which is why you shouldn't be alarmed if your boss Ahmed tells you you deserve a bat on the back)

                1. stephanh Silver badge

                  What have the Romans ever done for us?

                  The Romans are to blame for the name Palestine; they so renamed what was called Iudea after crushing Yet Another Jewish Revolt (TM). By that time the original Philistines were long gone. A classical example of digging up an old name from the history books to make a political statement.

                  The Arabs just took the name from the Romans when they conquered the area.

                  Essentially Palestine/Philistine comes from two different traditions of transliterating the same name into Greek. Palestine (with a π) is a secular Greek tradition whereas Philistine (with a φ) is the rendition by Greek-speaking Jews, which made it into the Septuagint (Greek translation of the Hebrew Bible); the Septuagint was in turn highly influential in other Bible translation including the King James. Hence "philistines" in English.

                  Note that what the Romans called Palestine was much larger than the original area of the Philistines, which was essentially just the Gaza strip.

      2. Russell Chapman Esq.

        He wasn't perfect but that is my family, albeit distant, you're talking about, keep your insults to yourself

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          > He wasn't perfect but that is my family, albeit distant, you're talking about

          Lawrence, Lawrence, the camels, the Arabs, the Phillistines, or the phillistines? Just so I know which insults I should keep to myself.

    2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
      Paris Hilton

      Clouseau in a nudist colony

      A Shot In The Dark (1964)

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uAIbLLSniw

      Paris: Elke Sommer

  5. wolfetone Silver badge
    Coat

    Owners are tired are they?

    Speak to your GP. They're a blue pill for that.

  6. Jemma Silver badge

    Nude Petanque

    What could possibly go wrong?

    Years ago we got a cheap set of those (plastic balls), it probably would have been in France.. And to be blunt you could have used the things in a cannon as effective and weighty ammunition. You could probably have driven over them with a tank and they'd not have taken a scratch.

    I hate to imagine what would happen if a couple were getting friendly and someone got one in the love spuds. La Vasectomy Francais..

    Still better than the couple banging away in the long grass who had a bad experience with a Caterpillar crawler.. Driven by the husband.

    "honest your honour, I had no idea they were there.."

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nude Petanque

      /Plastic/ balls? For /pétanque/?! The mind boggles.

      Proper steel balls are mandatory.

      1. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: Nude Petanque

        Proper steel balls are mandatory.

        Cue the Superman jokes...

      2. JLV Silver badge

        Re: Nude Petanque

        but definitely not blue steel ones, not at this location.

    2. FrogsAndChips Bronze badge

      Re: Nude Petanque

      Real pétanque balls are made of steel and weigh approx 1.5 lb. Plastic balls are for kids or tourists.

      1. Jemma Silver badge

        Re: Nude Petanque

        Sigh. We were tourists, driving either the cream of English, a Vauxhall Cavalier, or the cheese, various Ford Cortinas. You really have never understood the concept of suicidal if you haven't tooled around north Wales in a Ford Cortina with no other tapes than Cliff bloody Richard!

        Still must have rubbed off, after 87 we had 4 Renaults in a row - two 25 and two Safrane.

        My parents have still got those old balls - as smooth now as 30 years ago, and they've still only been used about twice..

        That's a thought actually - if we subverted all the US radio stations to play Cliff Richard on a constant loop - probably have the same effect as VX gas, and be soooo much cheaper.

        Has to be said I've never seen the point of swinging, usually more flakes than Cadbury.

        1. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge

          Re: Nude Petanque

          usually more flakes than Cadbury.

          For those too young to remember the old days...

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7aUTdYsZda8

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Nude Petanque

          My parents have still got those old balls - as smooth now as 30 years ago, and they've still only been used about twice..

          You're not an only child, then?

        3. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Nude Petanque

          > after 87 we had 4 Renaults in a row

          My heartfelt commiserations. :'-(

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