back to article 'Bitcoin heist' shock: Cops seek 4 for aggravated burglary in Midsomer Murders town

A gang of armed robbers reportedly burgled a village home belonging to Bitcoin traders in an Oxfordshire, England. According to police, four suspects broke into the home of a man and his partner in Moulsford, a town famous for its appearances in Midsomer Murders, last Monday. One witness speaking to the Mail on Sunday …

  1. Daedalus Silver badge

    Exponuttery

    Stop misusing "exponentially" OK? Just stop. It has a particular meaning that is rarely applicable to the matter in hand. If something increases or decreases by a particular multiple each day - even if it's 1.01 - it's valid. Compound interest increases exponentially by definition. Market prices don't.

    Here of all places we ought to keep the hype down.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: A Bull market?

      Would a Bull market not increase exponentially if feeding back into it's own hype? More rushing to buy, pushes the price up, which causes more to rush to buy, because it's a "good investment, it keeps increasing"?

    2. Stoneshop Silver badge
      Mushroom

      How about 'explosive'?

      Same initial letters, expresses the rate of growth quite well IMO, and could very well be applicable to the foreseeable aftermath of a billowing cloud of smoke and debris all around.

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Re: How about 'explosive'?

        Explosive works when the value is going up like it has been lately. Going down, I think "implode" would be appropriate. "Falling" is what the traders will do from tall buildings when it implodes.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Exponuttery

      If something increases or decreases by a particular multiple each day - even if it's 1.01 - it's valid.

      Erm no that's geometrically

      1. DavCrav Silver badge

        Re: Exponuttery

        "If something increases or decreases by a particular multiple each day - even if it's 1.01 - it's valid.

        Erm no that's geometrically"

        No, it is exponential. Exponential growth is any curve of the form a^t for a an integer and t being time. If something doubles every n years then that's exponential growth. Like GDP, for example, or inflation.

        1. Paul Kinsler

          Re: Exponential growth ... a^t, for a an integer

          ... but not just an integer, any real number will do, I think.

          1. DavCrav Silver badge

            Re: Exponential growth ... a^t, for a an integer

            "Re: Exponential growth ... a^t, for a an integer

            ... but not just an integer, any real number will do, I think."

            Yes, of course, sorry, any real number greater than 1.

            1. Michael Wojcik Silver badge

              Re: Exponential growth ... a^t, for a an integer

              any real number greater than 1

              Why stop there? For reals in (0,1), you have exponential growth in the value's smallness. For 0 and 1, you have exponential growth in the value's sameness. "This 1 is much more the same than it was yesterday!"[1]

              Daft explanations of exponential "growth" for negative reals[2] and complex numbers with non-zero imaginary parts are left as an exercise for the reader. Many of whom, I'm sure, could use the exercise.

              [1] Silly as that is, it reminds me a bit of Matt Skala's famous essay "What Colour are your bits?", where he considered how people may assign different interpretations to identical values based on their provenance.

              [2] Pretty easy for integer exponents.

    4. Old Tom

      Re: Exponuttery

      I expect that the author was using 'exponentially' figuratively and linguistically, not literally and mathematically.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    If your BTC can be stolen by a single attack

    you've done something wrong.

    If you are "clever" enough to make money from BTC, then you should be "clever" enough to ensure it's more secure than a rolex.

    1. Stoneshop Silver badge
      Holmes

      Re: If your BTC can be stolen by a single attack

      It hinges on how much time the robber has to keep holding that gun against your head, versus the time delay in unlocking all the passphrase vaults protecting your cryptocoin.

    2. Pascal Monett Silver badge

      Re: If you are "clever" enough to make money from BTC

      Nobody using BTC is clever.

      I think the history of that mirage speaks for itself.

    3. JimmyPage Silver badge
      WTF?

      Re: If your BTC can be stolen by a single attack

      Can't speak for the PP, but I'd certainly make sure that my cryptogoodies were protected by a smart contract which prevented them being moved in a single block, over a single day, and which required other external factors to be recorded on the blockchain before paying out. Maybe a token transfer a day or two before, from another actor ?

      But as I am learning, a lot of people simply do not understand blockchain - and more importantly what it's capable of.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Not confirmed it's stolen

    Unless they paid pretty high miners fees the whole damn thing is probably not confirmed yet.

    Really reg, a tech mag missing a btc related dad joke, standards are slipping!

    @stoneshop is that a nay Sayer I see...it's bubble, the end nigh, crypto nonsense. Yes, being right is going to be so much more rewarding than any income from this stuff!

  4. katrinab Silver badge

    I wonder how they plan to cash out on the theft, given that if they transfer them into an exchange to sell them for real money, it can be traced.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Pretty easy, transfer to an exchange, one that has high liquidity, so you don't lose much, sell to USD and/or directly to a more anonymous crypto currency, one based upon say cryptonight, such as monero, transfer out to a wallet, from that wallet transfer to another unused wallet address. Transfer from this wallet to 1 or more exchanges. Cash out. Use TOR when making the transaction just to be sure your IP isn't registered.

    2. phuzz Silver badge

      And/or transfer through a bitcoin tumbler which makes it much more tricky to track what btc is going where. As with all money laundering there's a fee, but they seem to usually charge less than 5% which I think is quite a good rate for money launderers.

  5. Mark 110 Silver badge

    O-M-G!!!!

    I finally got mentioned in a Register story:

    "leading some to comment it could be heading for a massive crash"

    :-)

  6. TechnicalBen Silver badge
    Coat

    USB stick?

    Even physical air gaps can be physically stolen.

    Mines the one with the entire server cabinet in, because I'm keeping it "safe".

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: USB stick?

      A friend recently had his house broken into, they used power tools to remove the back door when all were out for the weekend. He came back to find not much missing, but the crims had unscrewed all his 230V wall sockets. I’m a bit mistified, unless someone sells a safe that hides in a mains socket?

      Winklevoss twins allegedly keep their BTC passphrase quartered in 4 diverse bank vaults.

      Could I just put a sign outside saying “no Ripples/XRP here”

      1. pogul

        Re: USB stick?

        > I’m a bit mistified, unless someone sells a safe that hides in a mains socket?

        I remember seeing exactly such a thing in the "Innovations" catalogue that used to come with the news paper or the Radio Times or whatever it was. The earth pin was the key hole if I remember correctly. I guess you wouldn't want to encourage people to stick keys into the other two pin holes?

  7. Jon Smit

    What a cock

    Running that kind of business from home and allowing his address to be found in less than a minute.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: What a cock

      According to the Daily Mail, sigh, he faked the ownership transfer of the BTC.

      The armed robbers are left supposedly empty-walleted.

      DM helpfully printed the Google Map satellite picture for millimetric accuracy of the scene of the crime/domestic-crypto-exchange location. Should, perhaps, the rogue SAS robber fancy the next try.

      How much, in crypto-coins, is a quick house purchase in Stewart Island, New Zealand?

  8. Winkypop Silver badge

    Midsomer Murders town

    Is there anyone left alive?

    1. SVV Silver badge

      Re: Midsomer Murders town

      Yes, they just regenerate into new Cotswold cliches, a bit like time lords or video game chacters do.

      This story suggests a number of potential new spinoff series : Midsomer Bitcoin Robberies or Midsomer Minor Road Traffic Act Violations should keep old Bergerac busy for a few more years.

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019