back to article Meet the woman with a supernatural affinity for stiff lovers

It takes all sorts to make a world and some on the fringes of life often turn up on daytime TV. And so El Reg was fascinated by the story of Amethyst Realm, who dumped a human in the, er, physical realm to become a ghostbuster banger. Realm, a 27-year-old spiritual guidance consultant, told her tale of the lucky stiffs to …

Nick Cave's Dead Man in my Bed, or perhaps even Stone Temple Pilot's Dead and Bloated :-)

There must be so many songs for this!

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Or anything by Stiff Little Fingers

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Anonymous Coward

Interesting take on mast***ation

Most original take on self-pleasuring. Almost as lonely as using mechanical toys. In fact lonelier.

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Re: Interesting take on mast***ation

Yes, if said apparition is of the stereotypical moaning ghost wrapped in chains variety, this is known as 'clanking'...

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Re: Interesting take on mast***ation

Clanking chains - you mean we can have spectral bondage as well!!

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Anonymous Coward

Of all the things that are happening in the world at the moment, this is what the ITV's premier daytime show thinks is important.

What a waste of air.

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Daytime TV is always fluff like this though. It least this is less harmful to one's health than watching Jeremy Kyle.

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Re: a waste of air

Not at all. One of the reasons that the other things are happening is that so many of our species can self-delude to this extent. Treat daytime TV as a documentary review of humanity and you'll be better prepared for the idiots when you meet them in real life.

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I’d say this was the Best news item of the entire week.

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A wide choice

Obviously Spirituals would be first choice, and most Boy/Girl bands would be okay too as it's mainly ghostwritten. Sling in "Bela Lugosi's Dead", some White Zombie, and any Death Metal.

Quite a lot of choice.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: A wide choice

+1 Bela Lugosi's Dead

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Re: A wide choice

Any track from The Beatles "Rubber Soul" album

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Re: A wide choice

So why not *Joan Crawford (Has Risen From The Grave)"?

It rocks out, and always makes me giggle at the same time.

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TRT
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Re: A wide choice

A cover of that one from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes... How did it go now? Something about gem stones? Ah yes, Amethyst's a ghoul's best friend.

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Re: A wide choice

How about Powerwolf - "Resurrection by erection"? Quite an entertaining track

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Paris Hilton

Re: A wide choice

So why not *Joan Crawford (Has Risen From The Grave)"?

She might take a clothes hanger to your naughty ass, instead of a good time!

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You Take My Self Control

I, I love among the creatures of the night .......etc.

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Things That Go Hump In The Night

Allstars, 2001, apparently - and in the first Scooby-Doo movie.

OK, I'll admit I changed one letter...

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"Invisible Man" - Queen

"Something Inside So Strong" - Labie Siffre

"Ghost Love Score" - Nightwish

"Give Up The Ghost" - Radiohead

"Sleeping With Ghosts" - Placebo

etc....etc

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Genesis - Dancing with the moonlit knight

Genesis - Unquiet slumbers for the sleepers

Iluvatar - The final stroke

IQ - The other side

Japan - Ghosts

Kaipa - Screwed-upness

Marillion - Out of this world

Pink Floyd - The great gig in the sky

Pink Floyd - In the flesh?

The Specials - Ghost Town

Steve Hackett - Spectral mornings

Steve Hackett - In another life

Steve Hackett - The ballad of the decomposing

(Steve's always good for an odd song-title. His music was described by my wife as "lots of notes in the wrong places"..)

Steve Hackett - Love song for a vampire

Unitopia - Suffocation

Unitopia - Not human any more

(Observant readers may notice a slight prog tinge to my choices..)

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Anonymous Coward

Telekinetic-dildonics

I wait for Ken Munro to test it for vulnerabilities

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I'm waiting for some sort of licensing being required by some VC backed company. I guess the lawyers haven't become involved yet if for no other reason than them being blood-sucking undead.

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So was she..

to die for?

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IT Angle

WTF???

Is The Register now a sister publication to the Daily Star?

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Re: WTF???

Is this your first time here? I guess you've not seen the Bootnotes sections before.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: WTF???

You won't find devops in the star or tits in devops.

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Re: WTF???

You won't find devops in the star or tits in devops.

Trust me, there are lots of tits in devops.

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Re: WTF???

"Is The Register now a sister publication to the Daily Star?"

It's taken you nearly 6 years to find the Bootnotes section?

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Happy

First excuse...

What's this goo on the bed!?!

Er, ectoplasm...

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Happy

Alice Cooper - Cold Ethyl.

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How do I join?

What kind of drugs do I have to take so that I, too, can participate in ghost sex? For example, in "Sausage Party," you could see into the 4th dimension by doing bath salts.

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Trollface

Re: How do I join?

Any, as long as it's an overdose. So I'm not quite sure it's worth it...

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Anonymous Coward

Clearly on the spirits.

Spirit in the sky (song recommendation)

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Devil

If she got knocked up, then it really would be a phantom pregnancy.

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I genuinely laughed out loud.

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Anonymous Coward

...

Sneaky Bat Machine's "Boneshaker" comes to mind...

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Joke

Who you gonna call ?

Ghostboinkers !

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Re: Who you gonna call ?

You best hurry up and register that title. I suspect there's a movie in this.

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The only issue I have with ghosts - Well I say only.

Why are ghosts usually "seen" wearing clothing? It's not like your clothes die when you do.

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Windows

It's true, my clothes died years ago but I'm still wearing them.

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Anonymous Coward

So you're a naked ghost kinda guy? A free spirit.

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>>It's true, my clothes died years ago but I'm still wearing them.

My clothes aren't dead - they just smell that way :D

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Anonymous Coward

Stop it!

You're giving me the willies!

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Facepalm

Unchained Melody

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ghost_(1990_film)

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Anonymous Coward

There is an Australian song which I'm not going to repeat here. His name was Jack.

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So would this be

Fiends with benefits?

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A Little Piece of Heaven

by Avenged Sevenfold

(linkage)

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Kubla Khan

Not a song but the reference is obvious.

"A savage place, as lonely and enchanted/as e'er beneath a waning moon was haunted/by woman wailing for her demon lover."

(AIUI, Catholic doctrine says that all dead people are either in heaven, hell or purgatory. So there are no ghosts. Anything that appears to be a ghost, therefore, must be a demon. In this case, an incubus.

She's lucky really. In the 17th century the equivalent of the Jeremy Kyle show was a quick trial in front of a witchfinder followed by burning at the stake. Nowadays, that's reserved for Celebrity Big Brother.)

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Re: Kubla Khan

Or Succubus. Come back. Lost Girl (TV series)!

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WTF?

Re: Kubla Khan - Or Succubus. Come back. Lost Girl (TV series)!

Are you suggesting that not only is she claiming to have sex with ghosts, she's claiming to have sex with lesbian ghosts?

My mind is boggling even more.

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