back to article O Christmas wreath, O Christmas wreath, thy potent skunk's in bunches

Nothing says Christmas like a wreath. Except of course a reefer wreath. But why stop at Jesus and Mary, when you can add a full ounce of Mary Jane, dressed with eucalyptus, wheat and rosemary that stoners can use to decorate their knockers this festivus. The seasonal arrangement, only on sale in Los Angeles, is the result of a …

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  1. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

    Was the author stoned when they wrote this?

    1. Michael Habel Silver badge

      I hope so.... Life's to short for sobriety.

    2. Paul Kunert

      How dare you sir? I'd only drunk a couple of cartons of cheap wine by lunch. This is only Wednesday! Regs, Paul @ The Reg

  2. chivo243 Silver badge
    Angel

    Well versed

    The author seems to quite a bit about some of the designer strains... (best Arte Johnson) interesting,

    very interesting ;-}

    1. Paul Kunert

      Re: Well versed

      A little thing called research. It's not an alien concept to us at The Reg, irrespective of how things may appear on the surface. Best, Paul @ The Reg

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    We need to transfer our traditions to America, a sausage roll would go down quite well with this I think.

    1. TRT Silver badge

      ...a sausage roll

      or 4 if cut into mini-sausage rolls.

      1. Huw D

        Re: ...a sausage roll

        Topical comment? On El Reg?

        Must be Christmas.

      2. Fruit and Nutcase Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: ...a sausage roll

        Mini-sausage rolls? No need to do things by quarters here

        https://www.theregister.co.uk/2017/08/08/footlong_sausage_roll_just_1_pound/

    2. This post has been deleted by its author

  4. frank ly Silver badge

    Pics

    "... decorate their knockers this festivus."

    Pics, or ..... please?

    1. Morten_T
      Happy

      Re: Pics

      So I'm not the only one who caught that one. Good :)

      It made me think of this article from a few days ago. It's in danish, but the pics don't need much a translation. It's probably NSFW, depending on your workplace.

      https://ekstrabladet.dk/vrangen/vanvittig-dille-kvinder-stikker-brystet-ud-og-klaeder-det-ud-som-rensdyr/6943934

  5. John H Woods Silver badge

    Dickens' story

    Not Dicken's

    Honestly, what are you on?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Joke

      Re: Dickens' story

      Ah, there's no finer pedant than an apostrophe pedant. John H Wood's please take a bow.....

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Dickens' story

      Honestly, what are you on?

      Some stuff from the wreath I guess... Festive times come on...

    3. Swarthy Silver badge
      Headmaster

      Re: Dickens' story

      Wouldn't it be Dickens's? Unless it's the property of all the Dickenses that descended from Charles, then it would be Dickenses'.

      1. Sam Therapy

        Re: Dickens' story

        Dickens' or Dickens's are acceptable but the former is the modern, preferred usage in the UK.

  6. Packet

    A High holy day?

    I thought the high holy days are a Judaism thing

    1. WolfFan Silver badge

      Re: A High holy day?

      In some parishes, every Sunday is a high holy day, after the resident clergy finish off the communion wine...

  7. Mike Moyle Silver badge

    And for the added holiday color...

    The Cherenkov radiation given off as these disappear from front doors at faster-than-light speeds add a festive glow to the neighborhood!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The sooner

    it's de-criminalised in the UK the better.

    1. jmch Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: The sooner

      FTFY: The sooner it's de-criminalised in the world the better.

      1. EarthDog Bronze badge

        Re: The sooner

        legalized FTFY

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: The sooner

          Yeah i can't wait for vat to be added to my monthly expenditure...

          1. Duffy Moon

            Re: The sooner

            "Yeah i can't wait for vat to be added to my monthly expenditure..."

            Even with tax, it should still be cheaper than buying it on the black market. Plus, at least some of your money would go e.g. to the NHS as opposed to funding some thug's fast car.

            Besides, if it's legal you can grow it legally.

        2. Montreal Sean

          Re: The sooner

          July 1st, 2018. :)

        3. Sam Therapy
          Thumb Up

          Re: The sooner

          Even though I don't indulge it's about damn time it was legalized.

  9. Alistair Silver badge
    Windows

    Put those up in this neck of the woods

    .... and the teenagers *just* might leave the basements for the out of doors.....

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Put those up in this neck of the woods

      Yeah, I won't be hanging my stash on the front door, thanks very much.

  10. TRT Silver badge

    Our hallway...

    already smells disgusting with weed as it is.*

    *NOT mine, before anyone says. The junkers downstairs are growing it.

    1. Alex Wilson

      Re: Our hallway...

      Buy em a carbon filter....everybody wins! :)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Our hallway...

      "already smells disgusting with weed as it is"

      Don't know what the neighbours smoke - but when they light up - all the upwind houses close their windows. Pungent isn't half of it.

    3. Michael Habel Silver badge

      Re: Our hallway...

      So this is what Our EU President gets up to?

  11. RyokuMas Silver badge
    Joke

    Note to self...

    ... invest in munchie-van startup in LA...

    1. mhoulden

      Re: Note to self...

      A few years ago a girl set up a stall selling Girl Scout cookies outside a pot dispensary. She sold 117 boxes of cookies in 2 hours and to had restock 45 minutes into her shift.

      1. Triggerfish

        Re: Note to self...

        That's a kid with some biz sense.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Note to self...

        What was in the cookies?

        1. Michael Habel Silver badge

          Re: Note to self...

          Thin Mints...

      3. Swarthy Silver badge
        Angel

        Re: Note to self...

        A few years ago a girl set up a stall selling Girl Scout cookies outside a pot dispensary. She sold 117 boxes of cookies in 2 hours and to had restock 45 minutes into her shift.
        And Colorado then enacted a law to prevent children from being within X number of feet from dispensaries. The given reason was to protect children from the influence of pot; but many believe (based on timing, etc.) that the real reason was to protect the stoners from Girl Scouts, armed with cookies.

  12. rmason Silver badge

    Aaaaaaand...

    What a lovely wre...

    AAAAAAAAAAAAAND IT'S GONE!

    It would be stolen faster than the actual $400 would be if you pinned that to your door.

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: Aaaaaaand...

      Maybe it's me.. but hang that overpriced decoration on the front door? No way. I'll just go buy the weed and keep it secure until it's all been turned into glorious smoke. The neighbors can go get their own instead of stealing off my front door. Yeah... I'm a bit a Grinch when it comes to the really good stuff and only share with really good friends.

    2. Little Mouse

      Re: Aaaaaaand...

      I've hung mine up indoors.

      Right next to my crystal meth advent calendar.

  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    @ $400 per Oz.

    It bloody better be good stuff, with or without rosemary, eucalyptus et al!

    AC for obvious reasons

    1. disgustedoftunbridgewells Silver badge

      Re: @ $400 per Oz.

      AC because you think a $400 wreath is expensive?

      I wouldn't have thought that to be controversial.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: @ $400 per Oz.

        "because you think a $400 wreath is expensive?"

        Harrods do a "Large Highland Wreath (85cm)" - no weed - a mere GBP555***

        ***yes - Five hundred and fifty five British smackers. At that price you might have expected a bottle of a single malt in there somewhere.

        1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

          Re: @ $400 per Oz.

          Yeah but you can get a 50cm wreath on ebay for £6.37 , meaning that ounce is somewhere around $390

          I dont know how people who can spend £555 on a temporary plant decoration for their door can live with themselves.

  14. unwarranted triumphalism Bronze badge

    Not funny in the slightest

    Give a thought to those murdered by cannabis addicts.

    1. 7teven 4ect

      Re: Not funny in the slightest

      Not sure if trolling, high

      or worse...

      Never been high?

      1. kain preacher Silver badge

        Re: Not funny in the slightest

        I'm going

        to go with trolling

    2. Mandoscottie

      Re: Not funny in the slightest

      @unwarranted triumphalism

      LOL what? the stoners couldnt be arsed answering the door (unless it is the dominos or pizza hut driver), never mind having the energy to chase someone or bump them off.

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