back to article Microsoft to rebuild Redmond campus, including cricket pitch

Apple built a spaceship, Amazon's tendered for a town and now Microsoft's announced a “multi-year campus refresh project” that will see it splash US$150m to renovate 6.7 million square feet of its offices, add eight new buildings and lay a cricket pitch. The money will be poured into the company's Redmond campus, which will …

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Gatesland?

Should that be "Gatesgatesland"? I mean, in keeping with Watergategate and all that...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Gatesland?

Hatesland?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Gatesland?

"Cricket"

Wow, and I thought Americans only played Rounders and HandEgg!

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Re: Gatesland?

According to the India Times, 34% of Microsoft's employees are Indian. Dunno how many of those are in Redmond. I hope it isn't a CEO vanity project, that would be really sad.

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Devil

Re: Gatesland?

"I hope it isn't a CEO vanity project, that would be really sad."

Most likely it IS.

I think that they should be hiring TEST ENGINEERS instead, to deal with NOT having the end-users as their beta testers.

And now, MY top 10 list of new names for the 'Redmond Campus':

10. Nutsy-Cuckoo-land

9. 'Hallowed Halls of Redmond' (I use that a lot anyway)

8. Spyware Heights

7. "The Store"

6. Adware Haven

5. Flatso Metro

4. BSOD

3. Lost Wages (due to various forms of outsourcing and hiring n00bs)

2. Snarf-ville

and the number 1 new name for the Redmond Campus is...

"You can't pronounce it, because it's that stupid sideways ASCII-smiley emoticon you often see emblazened in the middle of your flat-looking screen"

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Re: Gatesland?

Basketball? Heard of that ;-)

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Re: Gatesland?

You're right, hand-egg, rounders and netball.

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Anonymous Coward

@AC Re: Gatesland?

"Cricket"

Wow, and I thought Americans only played Rounders and HandEgg!

We do. So what does that tell you?

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Re: Gatesland?

According to the India Times, 34% of Microsoft's employees are Indian.

Including by heritage the cricket-obsessed CEO, of course. But why don't Microsoft stop dicking around, and move the company HQ to Bangalore? Lower land costs, lower construction costs for the new mothership building, no more visa problems, as much cricket as they can get, low cost employees as far as the eye can see. Hell, even Indian director salaries are cheaper....oh. hold on, maybe Nutella isn't going to want that bit.

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FIA
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Re: Gatesland?

I hope it isn't a CEO vanity project, that would be really sad.

In the grand scheme of CEO vanity stuff this would be fairly small though. A few stumps and a 'slightly differently mown rectangle' can't cost that much?

Oh, I suppose you'd need an AUTOEXEC.BAT to hit the ball with too.

<Applauds politely for no obvious reason>

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Gatesland?

big +1 for number 10!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: @AC Gatesland?

"We do. So what does that tell you?"

That the Indians are trying to teach you the civilised habits that they picked up from the British?

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Re: Hatesland?

Nah, that name is more appropriate for every Trump property.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Gatesland?

Does anybody know of any instance where offshoring development / services to India has gone well? Defined as service levels maintained and costs havent spiralled? Sure costs are superficially reduced to briefly, but staff-turnover and lack of investment in skills and kit always have the same (bad) result...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Gatesland?

"Basketball? Heard of that ;-)"

But he said by Americans, not by African Americans! ;-)

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Anonymous Coward

I wonder how many Windows licenses paid for that.

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Well, all of them obviously, but it does raise a good question, how many copies of Windows has Microsoft sold?

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Well, all of them obviously, but it does raise a good question, how many copies of Windows has Microsoft sold?

Probably, officially "none" since you pay for the license and not the software. Which may explain why we're "users" and not "customers".

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How about "flat latte"

in honour of modern monochrome iconography and fashionistically re-inventing "late"?

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Re: How about "flat latte"

See "placébook" video, obviously.

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Re: How about "flat latte"

Roads and curbs should be painted the same colour so <del>you can't tell where they meet</del> they look nice.

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Street name

"Pride Circle" - where the garbage trucks pick up

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TWATIHKAL

The Windows Aero Trademark I Have Known And Loved.

(best not mention TIFKAM)

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I know this ...

It's Unix! (done badly)

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Cheaper

Issue everyone with a hololens and make the whole thing virtual

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Re: Cheaper

Cheaper

Issue everyone with a hololens and make the whole thing virtual

You've just reminded me of the Intro to Syndicate Wars...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kGvIrf86g4Y

...scary...

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Less snark about Clippy...

Depressingly, history has proven MSFT prescient in that respect. Every second website I visit these days seems to have some annoying chatbot popping up in the bottom right corner, obscuring content and generally getting in the way. I would suggest "Bobville" or "Roverland", but with the current fetish for AI and AR, they're probably going to prove similarly far-sighted.

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Street names: C: drive, D: drive, etc..

ha ha

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Happy

Re: Street names: C: drive, D: drive, etc..

All linked by busses?

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Re: Street names: C: drive, D: drive, etc..

There will be no A Drive or B Drive, and no-one under the age of 30 will know why.

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Given Microsoft's usual naming style

Shouldn't it be "Windows Office Park One"?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Given Microsoft's usual naming style

Not if they want it to be open all year round.

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Coat

Dollywood?

'cause of all the t*ts running around....*

* idiot 't*ts', not anything about totally IT capable persons of the female gender, whom I respect, yada yada....all persons in this non-image are over eighteen, cross fingers, sign of the cross, lucky clover, don't mention the scottish play etc.

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A Cricket pitch?

Seriously?

Maybe not a great idea to make the CEO too comfortable, he'll be never leaving and keeping his urine in jars before you know it...

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LDS
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Re: A Cricket pitch?

When your CEO is obsessed with silly things, and enforce them upon the company with company money, it's tome to show him or her the door...

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Re: A Cricket pitch?

When your CEO is obsessed with silly things, and enforce them upon the company with company money, it's tome to show him or her the door...

Or the Window[s].....

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Unhappy

Re: A Cricket pitch?

"When your CEO is obsessed with silly things, and enforce them upon the company with company money, it's tome to show him or her the door..."

It probably happened to MS a long time ago, but when management starts planning a shiny new HQ, they start concentrating on getting the best offices instead of doing the job they are paid to do.

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Re: A Cricket pitch?

In the offseason, it can be used for Australian rules football - which makes American rules football look entirely sane..

And besides, being british, I think a cricket pitch is always a good idea, and I'm vaguely pleased with the idea that the open spaces on the campus are as important as the buildings.

And there isn't a UFO in sight/on site.

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Re: A Cricket pitch?

Silly things I'll grant you, but cricket! silly? Wind your neck in!

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Happy

@Wensleydale Cheese

You say that like it's a bad thing...

(as we all know, management are most useful [to us] when distracted by comtemplation of something new, or a grand project, or similar)

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Re: A Cricket pitch?

Pity it wasn't Blamer - I wonder what a chair-putt track looks like

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Re: A Cricket pitch?

"keeping his urine in jars"

Doesn't *everyone*?

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This post has been deleted by its author

Softy McSoftface?

Sorry, someone had to...

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Who the hell really cares?

It'll always be called "Redmond", regardless.

And yes, you snarky lot, many of us Yanks appreciate and play Cricket.

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Re: Who the hell really cares?

And besides, when folk query how long a baseball game can take you can point out that a test match is four days...

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Pint

Re: Who the hell really cares?

Eddie, you're half right. Test matches are scheduled for five days in the men's game. Four days for the ladies. HTH.

IME, both cricket and baseball are excellent excuses for sitting in the sun, chatting with friends and drinking a beer or two. Always remember, TMS is not a sports programme, it's light entertainment!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longest_professional_baseball_game

"When Wade Boggs drove in the tying run in the bottom of the 21st inning after a Rochester run, even the Pawtucket players groaned. He recalled that, "I didn't know if the guys on the team wanted to hug me or slug me."The weather was so cold that players burned broken bats and the stadium's wooden benches to warm themselves, and the clubhouses ran out of food. The wind blew into the infield, making hits difficult; Pawtucket's Dave Koza later claimed that otherwise his team would have won in nine innings, with "four or five shots that would have been out of the park" For example, Sam Bowen hit a fly ball to center that reportedly left the field before the wind blew it back to Rochester outfielder Dallas Williams. Williams went 0–for–13 in 15 plate appearances, one of many records achieved during the game.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeless_Test

"The last ever timeless Test was the fifth Test between England and South Africa at Durban in 1939, which was abandoned as a draw after nine days of play spread over twelve days, otherwise the England team would have missed the boat for home."

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Re: Who the hell really cares?

They've sadly changed the rules so that many mens test matches will be played over four days in future.

My understanding is the Ashes will remain five days long though - it will depend on the particular series.

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Re: Who the hell really cares?

I did that his summer, it was great. Sitting in the sun, beer in hand, TMS in my ear talking about pigeons or cakes, cricket below. And an England win.

Wonderful.

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