back to article Mm, sacrilicious: Greggs advent calendar features sausage roll in a manger

Nothing quite says Christmas like greasy, calorific overindulgence, and this year budget sausage roll shop Greggs is ready to get you in the mood with its "treat-filled" limited-edition advent calendar. Each door reveals a tear-off token that can be taken into Greggs branches to be exchanged for a different treat every day …

“Pie love thee, Lord Jesus”

Pie Jesu, surely?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: “Pie love thee, Lord Jesus”

Yeah, because Greggs sell lots of pee-ay.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: “Pie love thee, Lord Jesus”

Surely, Pi(e)ous?

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Re: “Pie love thee, Lord Jesus”

Surely that should be "Lard Jesus" ?

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Re: “Pie love thee, Lord Jesus”

Crust Almighty.

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Anonymous Coward

All I want for Christmas...

...is type 2 diabetes

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Trollface

Re: All I want for Christmas...

...and bigger knickers

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Anonymous Coward

Re: All I want for Christmas...

...is type 2 diabetes

Nah. Got that already. I'm now working on alcoholic renal failure..

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I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing.

Small minds...

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I think you'll find they're only taking the pie-ss.

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How lucky then...

...that you are exhorted to turn the other cheek and to love your enemy, rather than to get huffy.

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I think you'll find they're only taking the pie-ss.

The Pie-SS? That'll be Greggs Deutschland, then?

Ledswinger, Proud Earner of today's Godwin Award.

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I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing.

It's the gift that keeps giving…

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Where exactly was the religion bashing?

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Anonymous Coward

I don't seem to remember Santa at the manger?

Maybe he turned up late with some steak bakes having got lost just west of Jerusalem and didn't make the final copy edition of the bible.

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I rise above it. It’s the yeast I can do.

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Anonymous Coward

@ caffeine addict and Where exactly was the religion bashing?

More faith in "religion bashing", that way you don't have to prove the "religion bashing" existed or believe otherwise once proven wrong.

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@unwanted triumphalism

Until your irrelevant comment the only finger of fun was being pointed at Greggs and their significantly irreligious Advent calendar. But if you must open the door be prepared for the response.

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Happy

small minds

I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing.

Not just bashing the bishop though. I also snigger at swearing and nudity

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Devil

Brought to you by...

"I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing.

Small minds..." Are to be pitied, not laughed at... FTFY

Naw- let's do both!

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Assuming the OP is a Christian...

Better forgive whoever hurt your feelings then.

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Anonymous Coward

The truly enlightened go the pound bakery where you can get 3 heavenly sausage rolls for a quid, amen.

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Trollface

Don't worry. Godwin will be along shortly too

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Angel

'you can get 3 heavenly sausage rolls for a quid, amen.'

Is that what they mean by the holy trinity?

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Santa

Born much later and they think they recently know which formerly Byzantium Church has the tomb. He was a bloke that distributed stuff in his own locality to some poor people.

I've no idea when folk myth added flying reindeer or the necessity for a large red truck.

As Pratchett pointed out, people do love stories. Boar drawn sleigh? Sort of Nordic. Vanadis / Freya had a sleigh drawn by cats and rode a large boar. Possibly naked. Any connection between the formerly popular Norse Demi-godess and any original Vanir chieftess may be tenuous.

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Coffee/keyboard

Christmas and Religion.

Almost nothing of the Christmas activities has any connection with Christianity. It's not even the proper date for the birth, no shepherd will be having sheep out in the Bethlehem fields in December.

I don't mind people having mince pies, Christmas trees, parties, decorations, fairy lights, alcoholic drink (drunkenness is wrong as is drink driving), Christmas cakes, Yule Logs, Christmas presents and "Santa Claus", because I'm not a 17th Century Puritan. I can't exactly see why Muslims and Ultra Orthodox would ban it because it's Christian, it's not. Perhaps because it's pagan, worldly, greedy self-indulgence? That's probably why Cromwell's crowd and the US Puritans banned it all.

Lidl had a set of ladies socks for Advent and then a Cien Beauty products Advent Calendar (I think both might leave your female friend underwhelmed). Chocolate is popular.

Lego had one. I see this year MegaBloks are copying them with a set of pseudo "minifigs". Lego is better.

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Re: How lucky then...

Since I'm not religious I fail to see why I should follow any religious rules.

Perhaps you could explain why I'm supposed to follow the rules of something I'm not a part of.

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Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

You assume wrong then don't you.

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I see you lot still find religion-bashing amusing.

I thought it was all about slagging off a sleazy purveyor of fat-laden pastry who really seem to have failed to comprehend the traditional meaning of Christ-mas. John Lennon got mild criticism for saying the Beatles were bigger than Jesus, now Greggs are likening themselves to Christ!

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Re: Christmas and Religion.

@Mage

because I'm not a 17th Century Puritan

And what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan, may I ask? Black goes with anything, and silver shoe buckles are totally un-necessary.

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Anonymous Coward

Re:Re: How lucky then...

"Perhaps you could explain why I'm supposed to follow the rules of something I'm not a part of."

To avoid getting stoned to death for blasphemy or whatever is the traditional punishment for not doing as you were told by the blokes in dresses.

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Nah, there's definitive proof that Greggs exists.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

@ unwarranted triumphalism

Your getting a bit messianic aren't you? you are not the OP

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Anonymous Coward

@Pen-y-gors "..slagging off a sleazy purveyor of fat-laden.. "

I would say that it's more a free for all, burn everyone. Hey it's Christmas knock yourself out

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Re: Santa

Norse Demi-godess

Someone still has their monotheistic superstitions switched on....

Freya is comparable to Venus or Aphrodite.

Not a demi-goddess, just because norse mythology doesn't have the same academic gravitas as the classical mythologies.

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Re: small minds

I see you lot still find Gregg's bashing amusing

- southern media elite

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Black Helicopters

Re: what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan

I'm not interested in being one. I think you can join them in some small US towns? Not sure. I think they have given up hanging Catholics and burning witches, so I suppose as long as they keep the laws of the land it's OK if you want to be one.

I'm not interested in joining things generally. I suppose I admit to being a member of the human species. I'm suspicious of stereotypical labels as much as most organised religions.

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Re: Freya is comparable to Venus or Aphrodite.

Ah, History written by winners.

The Romans (and Julius Caesar in his writings) knew most of their gods were re-labelled Greeks. They and later scholars assumed this applied to everyone. Mainland European Celts, particularly in Julius's time.

While there are certain themes that are universal, Freya is NOT a Norse Venus/Aphrodite/Astarte/Isis.

Lugh is not Mercury/Hermes. The Dagda, Odin/Wotan etc are not Zeus.

"demi" means not exactly or half. The Norse and Celtic mythic figures have a complex relationship to the idea of Worship. Legend gradually grows the godness of them, especially Celtic. The oldest major Norse texts are quite late, maybe 12th C Icelandic, I'm not sure. Irish texts are the oldest texts not about Greek/Roman myth in Western Europe. Some echo ancient Hindi / Indus valley stories, few Irish or Norse texts are like Greek or Roman.

Neo-pagan Celtic and Norse stuff is mostly made up in the 19th C as no actual written record of any rites exist. There are ornaments presumed to be religious amulets in Norse/Scandi graves. Loads of Scandi places are named after Freya.

The connection between Danu and Ireland seems to be a quite late post Christian invention as she was river goddess of the Danube. Ancient Irish texts mention goddesses of Boyne, Shannon and other Irish rivers. The Tuath Dé Danaan (Tribe of Goddess Danu) were originally only called Tuath Dé, the Tribe or people of the God. (Asterix's By Toutatis means by the God of the Tribe).

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Paris Hilton

Re: Christmas and Religion.

"And what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan, may I ask?"
The Puritans were opposed to playing hide-the-sausage for fun.

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Anonymous Coward

holy trinity

The parmo, the bun, and the rolly roast.

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Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

> you are not the OP

I am.

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Re: what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan

@Mage

I think they have given up hanging Catholics and burning witches

But what's the point of being a Puritan if you can't have fun hanging Catholics and burning witches? You've got to have some hobbies.

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Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

"> you are not the OP

I am."

No! I am the OP...

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Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

> you are not the OP

I am.

And I'm Brian and so's my wife…

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IT Angle

Re: Santa

I've no idea when folk myth added flying reindeer or the necessity for a large red truck.

The derivation of much Christmas symbolism is to be found here. Enjoy your glass of hallucinogenic reindeer piss.

Note: beware of Harvey Weinstein or Louis CK offering to decorate your tree with "tinsel substitute."

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Joke

Re: Christmas and Religion.

@Mage

because I'm not a 17th Century Puritan

And what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan, may I ask? Black goes with anything, and silver shoe buckles are totally un-necessary.

Aunt: [slaps Blackadder twice] Wicked child!!! Chairs are an invention of Satan!

In our house, Nathaniel sits on a spike!

Edmund: ...and yourself...?

Aunt: I sit on Nathaniel -- two spikes would be an extravagance.

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Re: Freya is comparable to Venus or Aphrodite.

"The Norse and Celtic mythic figures have a complex relationship to the idea of Worship."

Didn't they retire and move to New Zealand? I saw a documentary about it.

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Re: Assuming the OP is a Christian...

Your getting a bit messianic aren't you?

No, he's just a very naughty boy. Now piss off.

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Re: what's wrong with being a 17th Century Puritan

burning witches,

Mind that you have to weigh them first.

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Re: Freya is comparable to Venus or Aphrodite.

A most excellent reference Sir! Tis a pity most will not get it.

Right where is Olaf with the weed!

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