back to article Footie ballsup: Petition kicks off to fix 'geometrically impossible' street signs

A petition has been launched to update the UK Traffic Signs Regulations to include a geometrically correct football. The ball shown on UK street signs to denote football grounds is made up entirely of hexagons. And if you care about your geometry, you'll know it's mathematically impossible to construct a ball using only …

TRT
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Signed.

To be honest, I hadn't noticed, but this kind of sloppiness shouldn't be tolerated.

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Mushroom

Mathematically impossible...

Actually the sign is correct. Having mathematically impossible street signs fits perfectly with our mathematically impossible economy.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Signed.

Perhaps it's just an infinitely large ball ?

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Re: Signed.

Suddenly everything becomes clear. I'd always assumed someone had cut the edges off the pepperoni.

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Re: Mathematically impossible...

Actually the sign is correct.

Amber Rudd is talking to football manufacturers right now. She's quoted as saying "I don't see why they can't make footballs out of nothing but hexagons, it seems perfectly simple to me. If they don't comply, the government will consider legislation to make them comply."

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Used to it by now

"but this kind of sloppiness shouldn't be tolerated."

I dunno, I'm a Brighton supporter and you get used to this sort of thing. Compared with Withdean, this is a breeze.

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LDS
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Re: Mathematically impossible...

Just hire one of the children sewing them to explain Ms. Rudd why it is impossible...

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Re: Mathematically impossible...

The children sewing them, being poor and foreign, will of course not be allowed anywhere near the Home Sec. She'd have them detained in Feltham whilst she proved that they were "economic migrants".

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Re: Mathematically impossible...

If only we still had Escher around to design our road junction layouts.

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Re: Signed.

"Perhaps it's just an infinitely large ball ?"

Or maybe the shadow of a 4 dimensional football?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Signed.

"Perhaps it's just an infinitely large ball ?"

Or a spherical cow(oid)...

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Re: Mathematically impossible...

Especially 2 1/4. 2 1/4 WHAT? Miles? Km? Double Deckers? Everton Supporters?

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Re: Signed.

I mean everyone is absolutely missing that it is correct, just not in Euclidian space, I mean you could teach about this interesting geometry (first made using crochet was the positive curvature space) which seems to be this chaps point, clearly doesn't understand enough about geometry.

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Joke

Re: Mathematically impossible...

About that... it's missing the solidus, so it's anybody's guess what "214" is supposed to mean...

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swm

Re: Mathematically impossible...

This is perfectly possible on a torus.

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Trollface

Re: Signed.

Burn the witch!

just change the shape of balls nationwide to eliminate rounded corners.

Or mandate that all footy be played with watermelons.

Or ban it altogether. Or tax it.

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Thumb Up

Or a spherical cow(oid)...

Perfectly smooth?

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Mushroom

Or maybe the shadow of a 4 dimensional football?

The country cannot afford both this and the Prime Sinister.

Reality will explode. Boris will become Prime Dexter. The world as we know it will end on thursday ....

Just mandate that the ugly game be played with 2 dimensional balls. Or street signs.

>> Or one of these.

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Re: Mathematically impossible...

clearly you've never driven around Derby or Swindon....

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Re: Mathematically impossible...

> Everton Supporters?

You mis-spelled "Entire Everton Fan club"

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Re: Or a spherical cow(oid)...

"Perfectly smooth?"

And in a vacuum.

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Facepalm

You know you have too much time on your hands when . . .

Also, just because he isn't following "a Lovecraftian monster from beyond our perception" doesn't mean nobody is. The Elder Gods just haven't blessed him with The Sight. For that matter, he obviously isn't aware of the hidden symbolism of the hexagonal football--but wait, I've said too much. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. Ia! Ia!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: You know you have too much time on your hands when . . .

And there was I thinking nothing in this universe could possibly matter less that 22 overpaid tosspots chasing a pigskin round a field.

I sit corrected.

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Re: You know you have too much time on your hands when . . .

Clearly, it's appropriate that the sign should contain a stylized representation of a soccer ball, rather than a realistic drawing with curvature and shading to give an appearance of depth.

So a circular window into the flat tessellation of alternate-colored hexagons that is analogous to the surface of a spherical soccer ball is one simple way to achieve that.

Of course, usually curved lines would be used in a stylized representation of the pre-Eigil Nielsen style of soccer ball, just as they are in stylized representations of baseballs or basketballs.

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Anonymous Coward

22 overpaid tosspots chasing a pigskin round a field.

I didn't think that were that many members of the Bullingdon Club left in the Cabinet.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: You know you have too much time on your hands when . . .

"Clearly, it's appropriate that the sign should contain a stylized representation of a soccer ball"

No it's ideally a stylised representation of a football. As opposed to hand-egg (American football).

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Re: You know you have too much time on your hands when . . .

"overpaid tosspots chasing a pigskin round a field."

The perpetrators of the petition want a word. They want to tell you the field isn't round.

Personally I think the sign should be changed to an image of an inflated porcine bladder in the interests of historical accuracy.

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Go

Re: 22 overpaid tosspots chasing a pigskin round a field.

"I didn't think that were that many members of the Bullingdon Club left in the Cabinet."

Bbbut - imagine that they where chasing our great leader round the pitch, with the intention of administrating a long and effective subtle re education ....

THAT would be a match worth watching in all its gory.

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Paris Hilton

Metric please

That 2¼ is kilometers, right? RIGHT?!?! No? Okay, maybe it's not mathematically incorrect, but at least it's mathematically stupid. Fix it.

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Re: Metric please

Are you saying you want to see the units (understandable), or would you like the UK to adopt kilometres as our unit of road distance (not going to happen)?

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Re: Metric please

Why is the mile the stupid measurement? Imperial measurements are based on human perceptions of distance. A mile is 8 furlongs, and a furlong is the furrow length of an field of one acre.

No more stupid than the metre being one ten millionth of the distance from the North Pole to the Equator.

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Re: Metric please

Don't be silly.

A Metre is perfectly well defined in day-to-day terms. It's the distance travelled by light in a vacuum in 1/299792458 seconds.

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Boffin

Re: Metric please

By a somewhat lovely coincidence, the best answer to this question (IMO) is also provided by Matt Parker (yes the same one of the petition in the original article), via a video on Youtube:

Are Imperial Measurements outdated? | Number Hub with Matt Parker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r7x-RGfd0Yk

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TRT
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Re: Number Hub with Matt Parker

I prefer Humber Nub with Norman Holtby, local pundit, real ale expert and whippet breeder.

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Re: Metric please... WTF, who cares

Perfect shape.... 2 metric units...? Just leave it alone!

Why not just drop both of those marks and have it say "Stadium -->". Granted, the pictorial of a human smaller than a ball would have to be dropped from the far left. However, I see no issue with that from the poltically correct non-humans that will be seeing the sign.

Or... spend millions and make nothing into an insightful nothing (a government classic)

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Re: Number Hub with Matt Parker

Number Wang is still the best though.

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Re: Metric please

@Flatpackhamster

The mile is an excellent base unit. In this modern world, it should be divided into 65536 new inches, as opposed to 63,360 old inches. Then a new foot is 16 new inches, and a new rod/pole/perch is 16 new feet. A furlong is one eighth of a mile (512 new feet), and a cricket pitch is one tenth of a furlong at 51.2 new feet.

What could be simpler?

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Re: Metric please

@Primus Secundundus Tertius (are you related to J R-M?)

Of course, the representations should be 0x10000 inches to a mile, a foot is 0x10 inches, rod/pole/perch is 0x10 feet, furlong 0x200 feet etc. Then you can have the beautiful confusion between hexadecimal and decimal number systems in schools, so we can easily separate our future developers from users.

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Re: Metric please

Can we have the Celcius vs Fahrenheit argument next please?

I always enjoy watching people get hot headed over that one so I can tell them to chill out.

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Re: Metric please

@Loyal Commenter

"@Primus Secundundus Tertius (are you related to J R-M?)"

No, but he's mates with Dusty Bin.

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Re: please

Don't forget the bi-annual clock changing welly wangling that we go through

And while we are at it tell those americans that there is a unit of weight greater than a pound.

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Happy

Re: Metric please

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nROK4cjQVXM

John Finnemore Celsius vs Fahrenheit sketch :-)

(Finnemore is brilliant!)

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Re: please

@Steve Davies 3

Don't forget the bi-annual clock changing welly wangling that we go through

Don't worry - we have the Independent to help us tell if our phones have updated correctly with advice like

The clocks went back overnight. But did your clocks go back?

In the age of smartphones, smart TVs and smart home appliances, changing the clocks is at once much easier but more stressful. Almost everything adjusts automatically – but how can you be sure that it has?

The easiest way to know whether everything has updated is to check it against something authoritative, like the TV news.

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/what-time-is-it-how-to-check-your-iphone-lose-an-hour-a7387306.html

and virtually the very same article about clocks going forward but this time published 10th March 2017, two weeks early ... The clocks went forward overnight. But did your clocks go forward?"

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/gadgets-and-tech/news/what-time-is-it-how-to-check-if-your-iphone-or-android-updated-for-the-clocks-going-forward-a6954831.html

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Coat

Re: Metric please

@Flatpackhamster - "Imperial measurements are based on human ox perceptions of distance."

FTFY.

Icon - the one with the cheese and pickle sandwich in the pocket, please.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Metric please

cubits

stadia

Or perhaps the Egyptian Great Shat (half a cubit)

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Re: Metric please

How long is a stadia, pray?

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Re: Metric please... WTF, who cares

@MyBackDoor:

" Why not just drop both of those marks and have it say "Stadium -->". "

Because it's two-and-a-quarter miles away, which is almost 20 stadia. Duh!

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Re: Metric please

" How long is a stadia, pray? "

How long is a pieces of string?

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Re: Metric please

How long is a pieces of string?

one metric stringlength.

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