back to article ISIS and Jack Daniel's: One of these things is not like the other

A man was reportedly asked if he was an Islamic State sympathiser after his neighbours mistook a Jack Daniel's flag for the black-and-white terrorist insignia. The unnamed Italian hung the whiskey distillery flag outside his home in Regensdorf, Zürich, only to receive an anonymous letter from "concerned neighbours". "Should …

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  1. DagD

    Be afraid...

    First sign that there may be a "Red Neck" living next door!

    =P

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Be afraid...

      No, just German Swiss.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Be afraid...

        Blas mir i'd Schue

    2. The Count
      FAIL

      Re: Be afraid...

      Actually if you'd ever been to the south you would know that rednecks drink a lot of whiskey and would therefore immediately recognize a Jack Daniels flag.

    3. Jtom Bronze badge

      Re: Be afraid...

      If there is a redneck involved, it would be the one flying the flag. Jack Daniel's is produced in Tennessee, proud red-neck country. BTW, the term red-neck comes from the sunburn southern farmers would get tending their crops, a derogatory term created by cily-slickers who have no clue how to survive without them.

      1. JEDIDIAH
        Devil

        Re: Be afraid...

        I drink Armenian brandy, that doesn't make me a Kardashian.

    4. JEDIDIAH
      Linux

      Re: Be afraid...

      Nope. Jack Daniels is too upscale for your average Redneck. JD is more of a hipster thing.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Pint

    After some experimentation

    It seems that the best similarity is if you invert the JD flag, then reverse L to R, and then simply invert the Daeshbag flag. On that basis, fluttering in the wind the JD flag might have seemed a bit scary, if the observer were VERY drunk.

    So, here's another beer for the Swiss AC:

  3. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Justifiable concerns

    Having a neighbour who drinks JD crazy-water may be more of an immediate threat than having a mediaeval death-culter. At least the actually-not-at-all-Islamic nutters usually tend to go somewhere else to do appalling things.

    1. jake Silver badge

      Re: Justifiable concerns

      Medieval death-coulter? Kind of a ploughshare-into-a-sword thing, then?

      (A coulter is the lead blade that cuts through the top layer of turf, making it easier for the bottom to turn the soil. My coulters are almost all discs, but I have a couple early examples that are knife-like. Now that I've permanently wasted about five brain cells in each and every one of you, we return you to your regular ElReg commentardery, already in progress. No doubt starting with "plough" v.s. "plow" ... followed immediately by the proper use of the ellipsis.)

      1. imanidiot Silver badge
        Thumb Up

        Re: Justifiable concerns

        @Jake, thanks, I learned something new!

      2. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

        Re: Justifiable concerns

        @Jake

        An interesting new outlook on death-cults (a pleasant and erudite chang from the usual 'change-one-letter')

        And a useful history lesson. But surely you'd plough a very short furrow with a lead (Pb) blade? Wouldn't iron or steel be better for your for'ard blade?

        1. Steve the Cynic Silver badge

          Re: Justifiable concerns

          "But surely you'd plough a very short furrow with a lead (Pb) blade?"

          It occurs to me to suggest a confusion between lead and lead. That is between a metal in the same group as carbon, and a verb and its associated words meaning to be in front or in charge, with other things or people following. I suspect the latter is meant. It's the blade that "leads" the actual ploughshare.

      3. Hollerithevo Silver badge

        Re: Justifiable concerns

        and vs versus vs., given that v.s. is incorrect.

        ...merely adding value.

  4. Donn Bly

    Ignorance knows no borders

    My guess is that the anonymous complainer could read neither Arabic nor English, and is so ignorant of the two languages that they cannot distinguish the two when compared side by side. Since neither is the official language of Switzerland it isn't that far out of the realm of possibility.

    1. Slap

      Re: Ignorance knows no borders

      Bollocks - German is written in the same phonetic alphabet as english, and given that Daniel is a very common name in the German part of Switzerland it’s more than likely to be a “hobby Polizist/in” otherwise known as a curtain twitcher trying to stir something up - something certain Swiss take pride in doing.

      Also it’s not like the JD brand is unknown here - it’s one of the most popular american whiskeys with most bars and supermarkets having stock.

      Nah - this is just a typical example of the Swiss passive aggresisve notes they like to leave around, which are generally met with guffaws of laughter by me whenever I receive one, ‘cause I know the note writer will be within earshot.

      1. Kurt Meyer

        Re: Ignorance knows no borders

        @ Slap

        "Also it’s not like the JD brand is unknown here - it’s one of the most popular american whiskeys with most bars and supermarkets having stock."

        I am genuinely sorry to hear that.

        JD is the "Budweiser", or the "MacDonalds" of American whiskeys. It is frequently mixed with Coca-Cola, many times with Diet Coke!

        "Gimme a Jack 'n Coke" is a common cry heard in saloons across the land.

        With so many fine whiskeys, not to mention whiskys, available to the American consumer, it's popularity is a testament to mass marketing techniques.

        1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Ignorance knows no borders

          "It is frequently mixed with Coca-Cola, many times with Diet Coke!"

          Seems reasonably. If they didn't do that they might mix one or other of them with something that could be harmed by such treatment.

        2. PhilipN Silver badge

          Re: Ignorance knows no borders

          Couldn't agree more. I used to drink JD until I wondered through the haze how it could possibly be that every sip ...uhh... yeah ..... tastes exactly the same. How do they get round Hisen...Heizen..that unshertainty thing.

          Then realised it must come from a chemical factory.

          Which is why, natch, their ads just HAVE to show a good ole boy in work pants and rough hewn barrels.

          Haven't touched a drop since.

          JB about the same.

          Take my advice and the no brainer is JW. Rotate the labels and take your time to decide which one is behind the bar in heaven.

          P.S. When drinking in China don't kid yourself it is the real thing. I have ordered bottles of Chivas Regal to get my business associates drunk (welcome to China) and it was the right shape, the right label, but one sniff and it was definitely certifiably not Chivas Regal. At least, up till now, in China they don't know the difference so you still get whatever brownie points there are to be got for ordering a (moderately) expensive hooch.

          1. Sorry that handle is already taken. Silver badge
            Stop

            Re: Ignorance knows no borders

            Recommending the replacement of JD/JB with JW? You'd better be talking about the Green Label...

            1. PhilipN Silver badge

              Re: Ignorance knows no borders

              Mentioned JW partly to make sure the riffraff stick to Supermarket Scotch and keep their barbaric mitts off the single malts

              But I agree Green Label is sooooo good.

            2. phuzz Silver badge

              Re: Ignorance knows no borders

              "Recommending the replacement of JD/JB with JW?"

              Why not replace it with WD? as in Water Displacement Forty.

          2. Paul Woodhouse

            Re: Ignorance knows no borders

            actually can disagree with that, JD just make so much of the damn stuff that they can mix it to get the consistent taste, JD single barrel is just from barrels that when they do the tasting they decide have something a bit unique or really good about them so put them to one side instead of mixing them up with the rest, always worth a punt on a bottle of JD single barrel cos you never know quite what you'll get but you know it'll be good.

        3. JEDIDIAH
          Devil

          Re: Ignorance knows no borders

          JD is really not bad compared to some of the genuine rot gut they are allowed to bottle here.

        4. Jamie Jones Silver badge

          Re: Ignorance knows no borders

          "JD and coke" was my usual battle cry during my days clubbing in Ibiza.

          Not ashamed to admit it!

      2. jmch Silver badge

        Re: Ignorance knows no borders

        Swiss neighbourliness, huh?

        Another speciality is to complain of the most minor infraction to the building management, who then send you (or possibly everyone in the building if nosy snooper hasn't identified a cuplrit) a note to cease and desist.

        1. Elmer Phud Silver badge

          Re: Ignorance knows no borders

          Not just Switzerland.

          my daughter got a note from the buildi

          Complainee is now under threat of eviction after it turned out that the flat was not occupied during the 'huge noise' and has been found to be a snooty serial complainer. (worse than that, they rent and my daughet's flat is owned)

  5. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Did that flag win first prize in a kids drawing contest?

    "Hey kids, are you good at drawing Can you draw? Then take part in our contest to draw a flag for the Islamic State that will need to strike terror in the hearts of the infidels. First prize is a goat (hardly used)."

    Come on, it's not even a proper circle in the middle, was it designed using Paint?

    1. Keef

      Hey...

      'Come on, it's not even a proper circle in the middle, was it designed using Paint?'

      Stop slagging off Paint, everyone knows we secretly love it.

    2. Blotto Bronze badge
      FAIL

      Either some fundamentalist in cave probably didn’t have a flat surface to write on and that’s the best he could do, or it was that blind bloke with a hook for a hand and that’s the best he could do.

      Either way, don’t know why people would want to support and cause so much harm and mayhem for a cause that can’t even produce a proper flag, if that’s the best they can do then there is no hope of them doing anything remotely competently if they got what they wished for.

      Surely their flag must be enough of a clue for their potential supporters to see there is something seriously missing with that lot.

      1. Captain DaFt

        Either some fundamentalist in cave probably didn’t have a flat surface to write on and that’s the best he could do, or it was that blind bloke with a hook for a hand and that’s the best he could do.

        Think about it. A band of thugs that kill artists as heretics and satanists because they're artists.

        How good a flag would you do for them?

        1. Antron Argaiv Silver badge
          FAIL

          "Think about it. A band of thugs that kill artists as heretics and satanists because they're artists."

          Well, if you kill all the artists, who's left to design the flag, huh?

          Oops...looks like the Daeshbags asked that question *after* they killed the last artist.

      2. jmch Silver badge
        Coffee/keyboard

        "or it was that blind bloke with a hook for a hand and that’s the best he could do"

        coffee-spill guffaw moment!

      3. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

        I quite agree - you really need a proper flag to get anywhere.

      4. Morten_T
        Joke

        "... or it was that blind bloke with a hook for a hand and that’s the best he could do."

        He could have just the hook as a stencil (except if the blacksmith was equally useless)

        I think it was done by the goat - it wanted to win it's freedom.

    3. BrownishMonstr

      Not sure about the text at the top but the circle and text inside is old. I liked it when I first saw it, which was at least 10-15 years ago and I am fairly sure it's much older than that. So probably was made in a a cave but not in this century.

      As for Paint, it went downhill when it got ribbonised and features were dropped.

    4. Captain DaFt

      Come on, it's not even a proper circle in the middle, was it designed using Paint?

      Actually, finger paint! ☺

    5. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      The hardly used goat

      > First prize is a goat (hardly used).

      Define "hardly used". Are you Sudanese?

      Sudan man forced to 'marry' goat

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Define "hardly used"

        One that hasn't been round the block, I kid you not.

    6. hplasm Silver badge
      Devil

      Did that flag win first prize in a kids drawing contest?

      It was a drawing of the JD label, done by a drunken Daeshbag.

      Aieee! Firewater!

  6. Alistair Silver badge
    Windows

    Hmmm.

    I heartily suggest dropping 25,000 JD flags throughout current Daesh strong holds, clearly labelled in arabic "English version of our flag". Along with many many bottles of JD. Early the next morning the entirety of Daesh can be rounded up and "rescued" from the hangover.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Hmmm.

      Don't waste valuable JD on daesh, camel urine laced with a very high dose of tetanospasmin in each bottle should be sufficient.

    2. Jonathan Richards 1
      Mushroom

      Re: Hmmm.

      >many bottles of JD

      You jest [1] but this joke is older than you think. During the middle '80s, when the actual *definition* of war was a conflict between NATO and the Warsaw Pact (anything else was a military operation), I worked with a translator of military journals, including some publication from the Red Army, the name of which I have forgotten, but aimed at a readership within the ranks of that army. It was always full of articles warning of the dangers of drinking moonshine, rubbing alcohol, varnish thinners, brake fluid... You get the picture. Apparently this was a major problem - Russian squaddies would drink anything. My colleague came up with the best strategy I ever heard for defeating the WP rolling into Germany [2]: a strategic withdrawal leaving cases of Johnny Walker (Scotch being the preferred weapon) beside the roads. He reckoned the advance would be halted in two days.

      [1] That is, I suppose you jest!

      [2] One of the options at the time was the so-called Enhanced Radiation Weapon, commonly called the neutron bomb. It kills people by radiation poisoning, but limits actual blast damage [icon]. We reckoned the only thing worse than an advancing WP tank division was an advancing WP tank division driven by crews who knew they only had a day or two to live.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Hmmm.

        It would only make them move faster. The Germans in WWII always knew when an attack was imminent because the Russians would get roaring drunk the night before.

  7. Mephistro Silver badge
    Holmes

    I know who did it!!!

    "He asked his neighbours who had sent the letter but, unsurprisingly, none of them 'fessed up."

    It was Herr Magoo!!!

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Why only a link to the JD flag ?

    Why did the Register feel it could only link to the JD flag, and not show us the picture ?

    1. Allan George Dyer Silver badge
      Big Brother

      Re: Why only a link to the JD flag ?

      I'm guessing El Reg is more afraid of JD's lawyers than ISIS.

    2. Demogenes

      Re: Why only a link to the JD flag ?

      Here's the link to the german article with said flag

      http://www.20min.ch/schweiz/news/story/29896945#showid=221511&index=0

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    As a resident of Switzerland myself...

    I started laughing at "First the Italian flag"

    1. Vincent Ballard

      Re: As a resident of Switzerland myself...

      I clicked through to the original article, and saw that he's flying the JD flag above the Italian one. I'm pretty sure that Italy will take that as an insult. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if Italian law forbids flying any flag higher than the Italian one except possibly the EU one.

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