back to article Giant frikkin' British laser turret to start zapping stuff next year

The Dragonfire laser cannon consortium has unveiled a fullsize mockup of its shipborne blaster at the Defence and Security Exhibition International arms fair in London. The Dragonfire laser turret mockup at DSEI 2017. Pic: MBDA The £30m Dragonfire laser turret mockup at DSEI 2017 The £30m turret-mounted laser cannon is …

Anonymous Coward

pew pew, go laser sharks, run free. Soon Hollywood will recognise you and make the ultimate film "Sharks on a Train"

The trailer is amazing.

10
0
Bronze badge

Re:Potential movie options

Shirley you mean rebooting Sharknado (1-5) as LaserSharknado? Or SharkLaserNado

I guarantee the trailer will be at least as amazing as the movie. Probably more so...

6
0
Silver badge

On a train

they are called carriages not trailers.

12
0
Silver badge
Boffin

Almost there

We have the laser and the sharks shouldn't be too hard to find; how's the sea bass mutation coming on?

6
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: Almost there

It's struggling as it can't find sea drum.

23
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: Almost there

The mutation is coming along swimmingly. The problem is that they are not yet ill-tempered.

7
0
Silver badge

Re: Almost there

Theres shit loads of them - Sciaenidae

1
1
Silver badge

Re: Almost there

If they can produce a double bass mutation will it have double lasers?

5
0
Silver badge

LDEW?

Surely Laser Powered Energy Weapon would be better. El Pew for short.

11
0
Silver badge

Re: LDEW?

Yeah, that's okay, my original though was Laser Energy Weapon (Directed), or LEWD.

12
0

Re: LDEW?

Ships to make serious use of lasers, especially the higher-powered ones that will follow this model, will obviously require substantial capacity to generate electricity while remaining underway. This could also be used in railguns, which will have an over-the-horizon capacity that lasers lack. Navies will need to work out and wargame the correct mix of these systems.

But without any experience of naval warfare, I can be sure that the ships bearing this potent combination of electrical weaponry into battle must be called Laser And Railgun Dreadnoughts.

7
0
Silver badge

Public demonstration

a public demo will take place in 2019

When I read that, the first thing that popped into my head was the scene in Star Wars where Alderaan gets the good news from the Death Star

29
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: Public demonstration

Somali pirates could've made a nice live target, but I believe their numbers have diminished significantly in recent times.

4
0

Re: Public demonstration

Oh MoD, you're far too trusting... Rockall is too remote for an effective demonstration, but we will deal with your Greenpeace friends soon enough. Continue with the operation, you may pew when ready.

3
0
Bronze badge

Re: Public demonstration

"Somali pirates could've made a nice live target, but I believe their numbers have diminished significantly in recent times."

Nah they just scare easily, but they'll be back and in greater numbers!

2
0
Silver badge

Innovative, effective and affordable solutions

Who's he kidding? I can't think of ANYTHING procured by MoD that meets all three, and it is possible to argue that almost all MoD projects didn't meet a single one of those criteria.

Them again, I'm being harsh. I suppose it was "innovative" of MoD to lease C-17s for more than the purchase cost. The QE carriers have certainly been effective in buying votes in Labour strongholds. Affordable, now that's a bit more difficult.

7
0
Silver badge

Re: Innovative, effective and affordable solutions

Sea King Mk7, although to be fair they did ignore a lot of the procurement rules for that one...

2
0
Silver badge

Re: Innovative, effective and affordable solutions

Going back a while, but there was the STEN gun....although that did have a habit of sometimes being more effective against the person firing it than it was against the person being fired at.

7
0
Silver badge

Re: Innovative, effective and affordable solutions

One major difference though, the original STEN cost <£150 and came down to about £10 in today's money. I have seen some of the early STEN versions; apparently if you were behind whoever was carrying it, and they pointed the weapon down/forward for safety, it was OK. In spite of its reputation, it was a very effective weapon out to about 40 yards, and described as a "room clearer".

6
1
Gold badge
Unhappy

"Re: Innovative, effective and affordable solutions. Who's he kidding?"

Well I don't see the name of BAe Systems* here, so maybe it is

*Who I rahter suspect were the "losing bidder" referred to in the article.

1
0
Holmes

Re: Innovative, effective and affordable solutions

Based on the picture, looks like it will double as a full-body MRI device when it's not in use blasting North Korean ICBMs out of the sky.

So it's affordable because NHS is going to foot 90% of the bill. That is, as long as it's hooked up to a proper Windows XP Home Edition installation with a minimum of 500MB of ram.

4
0
Silver badge

Re: Innovative, effective and affordable solutions

Innovative, effective and affordable solutions

Obviously you're not looking hard enough or your have impossibly high bar definitions of those words. Storm Shadow was that, SAMPSON is that.. Brimstone.. the list is endless.

Side note something being expensive doesn't mean it isn't affordable, take for example the F-35...

2
0
Silver badge

Re: Sten

Ah, good old Sten - competing with the M3 for the "looks like it came from the plumbing aisle of a hardware store" title. But as someone pointed out, it *was* cheap, unlike today's eyewateringly expensive laser wheeze.

I'm curious about the "all weathers" spec ... And will it work as well on shiny, beautifully polished and reflective targets? And those with ablative coatings? And those designed to spin in flight? Or indeed, *any* targets using the obvious, cheap, easy countermeasures?

2
0
Anonymous Coward

Re: Sten

Ah, good old Sten - competing with the M3 for the "looks like it came from the plumbing aisle of a hardware store" title

It wasn't known as "The Plumber's Abortion" for nothing

1
0

This post has been deleted by its author

Anonymous Coward

A likely (west side) story

The way that the Lightning II is going, the Navy stand more chance of getting Sharks than they do of getting Jets

17
0
Silver badge

Re: A likely (west side) story

The way the navy are going it'd be more effective to steer the ship close then lob very hungry sharks at the enemy with a rubber catapult.

Or, going high tech, perhaps a battery of Vector ® Squid Guns ... (should that be a kalamari of Squid Guns?)

Or just smack Kim-J-Whatsit across the hairstyle with a wet cod until he gets really annoyed ...

1
0
Silver badge
Unhappy

Logo

I wonder how much MBDA paid their artistic designer to choose the matching carpet, chair and ropes?

Also, where is the slot to put your shilling in?

14
0
Silver badge

Re: Logo

Also, where is the slot to put your shilling in?

Just be careful which lens you put your eye to.

9
0

I have a plan to uparmour my drone to defeat this using easily and cheaply produced ablative carbon foam tiles¹ to whom sould I apply for an opportunity to test this armour against the laser? Perhaps the special projects bureau could get this tested for us, expensive laser Vs £1 worth of diy carbon foam? :P

¹ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wex_yKfrTo4

7
0
Silver badge
Coat

> The laser reportedly drew 10kW during its 2010 trials, with MBDA claiming 50kW would be possible with extra funding.

By charging another £10M and just changing the fuse to a higher rating?

20
0

> The laser reportedly drew 10kW during its 2010 trials, with MBDA claiming 50kW would be possible with extra funding.

'By charging another £10M and just changing the fuse to a higher rating?

All they need is a new knob, one that goes up to 11.

18
0

You'd need it to go to 50 really or you've got a really weird scale there, 1-10 = 1MW to 10MW, 10-11 10MW to 50MW.

In fact I think you'd find the manufacturers of my electric shower temperature control already have a version of that technology.

13
0
Silver badge

Not only the fuse

You'd presumably need a 5x higher resistor in the amplification circuit too, so make that £20M

5
0
Anonymous Coward

Charge another £10M and add a dummy load.

The continuous power *output* of the laser would be a more interesting measure.

4
0
Silver badge

All they need is a new knob

Why? For the arms industry, I'd suggest that the existing collection of complete knobs in the MoD are doing a sterling job.

7
0
Silver badge

Re: Not only the fuse

If you're going to change the fuse AND the resistor you are going to need a sparks, so you had better add another million for callout and maybe an extra half a million for the sharp intake of breath when he gets there, looks at the job and says he has to go back to the van to get a different screwdriver.

6
0
Silver badge
Happy

All they need is a new knob...

What, more changes in the boardroom?

1
0

Use a log scale

So the knob only has to go to about 13.

1
0

Bindun

The Royal Navy had laser weapons in the Falklands conflict. They did their job to harass the Argentine pilots. They pulled a blinder, you might say.

5
2
Silver badge

Re: Bindun

The Royal Navy had laser weapons in the Falklands conflict.

Tell that rubbish to the Welsh Guards, mate.

1
1
Silver badge

Re: Bindun

Would that be the Welsh Guards who were told not to offload personnel and ammo on the same landing craft in a war zone?

0
0
Silver badge

Re: Bindun

"They pulled a blinder ... "

They actually pulled a dazzler and thus remained within the Laws of War.

0
0
Silver badge
Black Helicopters

Laser directed energy weapon. If it is directed by the laser, what's the weapon part? Or is there a laser for targeting and another for the pew pew part?

3
0
Anonymous Coward

Probably better described using normal military syntax, e.g. "Weapon, Directed Energy, Laser"

4
0
Silver badge

I believe that there are one, possibly more, lasers for targetting with the high power laser only being used when the target laser, or lasers, are on target. I could be totally wrong, but that's my memory of how it works and it makes sense to ensure that the calibration is working.

0
0
Silver badge

Pah

This will be useless when Cthulhu rises from his slumber.

9
0

Re: Pah

What about an Ultimate Laser Fighting Contest with Gort?

I'd pay to watch that.

4
0
Silver badge
Facepalm

Next step :

The enemy will create ordnance with a shiny refelctive coating...

1
0

Re: Next step :

I seem to recall reading on here somewhere that the laser only needs to make a tiny imperfection in a reflective surface for it to next to useless as a defence against the laser. The tiny imperfection rapidly expanding or something.

Anyone with more knowledge than me care to refresh my memory please?

5
0

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2017