I say, BING DONG! Microsoft's search engine literally cocks up on front page for hours Some of the dozens of users of Bing today spotted a lewd sand carving semi-hidden in the Microsoft search engine's front page splash photo. This looks perfectly innocent ... until you click to, er, enlarge The snap, an overhead shot of an idyllic beach, sits behind the search bar on Bing.com. The crude anatomical artwork was …
Our universe itself keeps on expanding and expanding,
In all of the directions it can whiz;
As fast as it can go, at the speed of light, you know,
Twelve million miles a minute and that's the fastest speed there is.
So remember, when you're feeling very small and insecure,
How amazingly unlikely you use bing;
And pray that there's intelligent life somewhere out in space,
'Cause there's bugger all down here on Earth!
Concur. Seems to me that these days people are looking for something .... ANYTHING ... to be offended by. A couple days ago I had a lady call the cops on me because my ram was mounting ewes. This wasn't in a field next to a nursery school, mind (not that I'd care), but rather it was in a pasture that can't be seen from any piece of public property except from a trail across the valley. And then you have to use binoculars. Fortunately the investigating officer thought it was funny, which didn't endear him to the lady who was waiting at my gate for his arrival. Personally, I found it kind of sad in the old meaning of the word. The lady drove off in a huff when I offered her some lamb chops, which the cop found even funnier ...
I was tempted to ask if she was jealous, or if she wanted in on the action, but prudence ruled. After she left, I asked the cop what he would have done had I gone that route. He said he'd have had to call for backup ... backup pants & boots, after pissing himself laughing. Turns out he's a country boy, grew up on a ranch just outside Modesto ...
I agree, shortly after that dreadful Tsunami in Japan a few years back, I heard a report of someone complaining to the proprietor of a local surf shop that pictures of waves and surfing displayed in the shop window were insensitive and could they be removed?!.
There's nowt wrong with a Friday sand knob gag.
I think that beach is Zlatni Rat, or "Golden Horn", in Croatia.
The photos make it look incredible but it's actually pretty tiny and not sandy. It's only really good in comparison with the rubbish stony beaches on most of that coast.
At some point in the past it was supposed to be naturist on one side and "textile" on the other, but by the time I visited the naturists had been moved to a tiny cove further along the coast; fashions change, I guess.
Radar Operator: Colonel, you better have a look at this radar.
Colonel: What is it, son?
Radar Operator: I don't know, sir, but it looks like a giant...
Jet Pilot: Dick. Dick, take a look out of starboard.
Co-Pilot: Oh my God, it looks like a huge...
Bird-Watching Woman: Pecker.
Bird-Watching Man: [raising binoculars] Ooh, Where?
Bird-Watching Woman: Over there. What sort of bird is that? Wait, it's not a woodpecker, it looks like someone's...
Army Sergeant: Privates. We have reports of an unidentified flying object. It has a long, smooth shaft, complete with...
Baseball Umpire: Two balls.
[looking up from game]
Baseball Umpire: What is that. It looks just like an enormous...
Chinese Teacher: Wang. pay attention.
Wang: I was distracted by that giant flying...
Musician: Willie.
Willie: Yeah?
Musician: What's that?
Willie: [squints] Well, that looks like a huge...
Colonel: Johnson.
Radar Operator: Yes, sir?
Colonel: Get on the horn to British Intelligence and let them know about this.
MI6 Analyst: Sir, we just got a report about a giant-
Professor: Dong. PhD, reproductive biochemistry, University of Seoul 2013. Please give our guest lecturer a university welcome as he presents his groundbreaking work on-
Doctor: Fruit and veggies.
Patient: But I'm an Englishman, can't I eat lard and chip butties instead?
Doctor: Not if you want to be able to look down past your belly and see your-
TV: Batter blaster! Just load and fire and its pancakes for breakfast in no time at all! Attention men forty and over! When romance strikes, are you having trouble with your-
MI6 Supervisor: Peter! Switch off your TV, we have a report to go through!
@ChrisBedford
"top marks for this frivolous mis-use of a futile imagination :D :D :D"
Unless I've missed a point you were making (in which case I'll get my coat) this was not from @DagD's imagination but from the end of the Austin Powers movie.
The only reason I remember is that it was on TV the other day.
Saying "We have nothing to say" is quite a different statement from merely... saying nothing.
Saying nothing means you haven't noticed, or don't care enough about the person asking to acknowledge them. Saying "nothing" means the opposite.
In a previous existence I worked at a place that was occasionally beset by press and / or protesters. We were explicitly told to say nothing, not even a "No Comment" as that would likely then be reported as "A company spokesperson said that they had 'No Comment' ".
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