back to article At last, a kosher cryptocurrency: BitCoen

Viacheslav Semenchuk, a Russian entrepreneur, has just launched a cryptocurrency for Jews. Similar in concept to Bitcoin, it is called BitCoen, "the first Kosher cryptocurrency," as described on the company's Russian website. In the US, Coen and its variant Cohen are common surnames in the Jewish community; in Hebrew, they …

  1. astrax

    So...

    does that mean the exchange rate will be 2.6 BitCoens for 1oz of Goldberg?

  2. Mycho Silver badge

    What happenned to Scotcoin?

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It got battered.

  4. Paul Crawford Silver badge

    And deep-fried

  5. macjules Silver badge

    Your currency is only redeemable in deep-fried Mars bars.

  6. handleoclast Silver badge
    Joke

    Re: Scotcoin

    The 50p coin is the shape it is so you can use a spanner to unscrew it from an Aberdonian's hand.

    A crappy joke told to me by a Dundonian. Who was far from a spendthrift himself.

  7. Tim 11

    I'm calling april fool (please...??)

  8. Warm Braw Silver badge

    Semenchuk would certainly add credence to your proposition.

  9. Arthur the cat Silver badge

    I'm calling april fool (please...??)

    2017, the year April 1st lasted forever.

  10. handleoclast Silver badge

    Re: April 1st lasted forever

    2017, the year April 1st started on January 20th, and will last until the Trump is impeached or indicted or starts WW III.

    FTFY

  11. Stevie Silver badge

    Re: April 1st lasted forever

    Unnecessary clarification. The original had all the context required.

  12. Big John Silver badge

    Re: April 1st lasted forever

    I perceived no deep context. The original simply said the year has turned out a bit crazy, which is true. That could be understood in a lot of ways.

    The "unnecessary clarification" was really another sad thread-hijack, providing a weak-minded hater yet another platform to (supposedly) make fun of the Hated One.

    Signal, meet noise.

  13. Stevie Silver badge

    Re: I perceived no deep context.

    Funny thing, perception.

  14. sabba

    I think I will stick with cash and credit cards. Perhaps it is just me but I still do not see the business case for bit coin unless you are trying to perform dark financial operations (and even then it's apparently not quite as dark as you might like it to be). Are they not just the digital equivalent of bearer bonds (only slightly less flexible)? Does the introduction of yet another 'service provider' add anything?

  15. Tim 11

    It all depends whether you trust banks and the governments they're in league with. At the moment, most people do (at least in the west) but as the realization of the global finance racket becomes apparent, I think people will be increasingly likely to look for something that's doesn't require you to trust any institution.

  16. phuzz Silver badge
    Pirate

    "that's doesn't require you to trust any institution."

    Would that be an institution like a cabal of miners? Because it's not like an individual can mine their own Bitcoins any more, so you're either going to have to buy them from a miner, or an exchange, and those I'd both put under the heading of 'institution'.

    Oh, and neither of them are likely to take physical cash either, so you're going to need a bank of some sorts.

    And if you can manage to find someone who will take your physical cash in return for a BTC (and if you can trust them not to screw you over), why not just use the cash to buy whatever you wanted the BTC for in the first place? At least cash doesn't need electricity and a functioning comms network in order to be used.

  17. Justicesays
    Joke

    I would prefer a more enlightened option

    BitKōan

  18. Trollslayer Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Re: I would prefer a more enlightened option

    BitKōan - very bice.

  19. Big John Silver badge

    Re: I would prefer a more enlightened option

    > "BitKōan"

    It's a great idea, but how do you explain it to someone?

  20. Justicesays

    Re: I would prefer a more enlightened option

    If you have no Bits I will take them from you, if you have Bits I will give them to you.

    It is a BitKōan

  21. mark l 2 Silver badge

    " BitCoen would rank at about 115th among the more than 1,000 cryptocurrencies tracked by coinmarketcap.com."

    Who knew that there were this many cryptocurrencies? Until the other day I had only every heard of Bitcoin and Etherium. I do think that any man and his dog seems to be creating a new currency and with a relatively small market the fragmentation is not good.

  22. Captain DaFt

    I do think that any man and his dog seems to be creating a new currency

    That would explain Dogecoin

    (Very open, Much people, little value)

  23. steelpillow Silver badge
    Joke

    Me too

    I just started BitClown, only when I tried to upolad my website I fell into a bucket of whitewash.

  24. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Me too

    I would invest but I don't want to end up with pie on my face.

  25. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Me too

    Someone bought a car using it ... but all the doors fell off as he drove away.

    Anyway, good luck - you'll need it as you've got big boots to fill!

  26. Steve K Silver badge

    Re: Me too

    You are going straight for the juggler with this one!

  27. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    I'm working on Bitcrone

    the cryptocurrency for witches. Unfortunately development is a bit slow because it's all being written in hex.

  28. Paul Crawford Silver badge

    Re: I'm working on Bitcrone

    Why not use the set-up Wizard to help you?

  29. Big John Silver badge
    Devil

    Re: I'm working on Bitcrone

    Because it's really a Daemon.

  30. Captain DaFt

    Re: Me too

    Someone bought a car using it ... but all the doors fell off as he drove away.

    But on the plus side, it seats 60 people! ☺

  31. Big John Silver badge

    Re: Me too

    Only for certain values of people.

  32. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    "And the main guarantor of stability here is that the keys from the management of the cryptocurrency will be in the hands of the most respected members of the community"

    You're doing it wrong.

  33. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Oy! What dreck!

    This is shtick dreck! Es klapt mir in kop! I don't mean to kvetch, but this is a zhlob shaygits!

  34. Fred Goldstein

    Re: Oy! What dreck!

    It's gantze meshuggeh, that's what it is.

  35. Dave 126 Silver badge

    In a snowdrift, a suitcase of BitCoen is found...

  36. Mr Dogshit Silver badge

    Does it work on Saturdays?

  37. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Well....

    ...nothing like perpetuating stereotypes.

    Next week BitNazi (yes I went there), because y'know, all Jews are evil money grabbers.

  38. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Well....

    That's so last century thinking.

    These days they are called the establishment and they come from all races, religions, colours and creeds to shit on the common man while increasing their wealth for absolutely no purpose but to keep themselves and families stinking rich in perpetuity.

  39. lafnlab
    Paris Hilton

    WINK

    OMG, there're, like, soooo many cryptocurrencies. There's even one based on selfies (https://bitcointalk.org/index.php?topic=2048047.0)

    Paris, in lieu of a Kardashian icon

  40. Jonathan 27

    "hopes to raise as much as $20m through an initial coin offering that aims to sell 100m worth of BitCoen digital tokens to investors"

    For anyone not familiar with crypocurrency, this is what is generally referred to as a premining scam. Nothing supports this valuation and you're unlikely to see a return on investment. Anyone can just launch a crypocurrency and if they're already doing things like this you can't trust these developers at all.

  41. Steve K Silver badge

    Not kosher at all....

    Yes - there is no requirement to compute any hashes here, and no indication of the supply of BitCoen being capped.

    I do however have some magic beans if you are interested...

  42. Jonathan 27

    Re: Not kosher at all....

    At least magic beans have some food value. I'd take those over BitCoen.

  43. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re: Not kosher at all....

    I'll swap you a cow for them. Were a bit poor and it's all we have left.

  44. Phil Miesle

    How orthodox?

    Are computational nodes allowed to work on the Sabbath?

  45. Ivan Vorpatril

    Logo

    Coen need a better logo involving two Mr. Spock hand gestures put together. http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/2878949/jewish/Is-the-Vulcan-Salute-a-Jewish-Symbol.htm

  46. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    any and all blockchain currencies depend on desperate speculation for launch, and money laundering for success. If those are in, this one and any other will be part of the club. Which, if anyone has noticed, is a wondrous bubble.

    It used to be that diamonds were mostly for money laundering. I would assume that their price is coming down (also because of synthetics, but same difference)

    prophesy: malware and social exploits targeting specifically blockchain will become more and more common.

  47. anonCoward24
    Angel

    Mandatory XKCD reference

    https://xkcd.com/512/

  48. kneedragon

    This does sound very much like the first page of a Terry Pratchett story....

  49. Roj Blake Silver badge

    BitConan...

    ...the cryptocurrency for Cimmerians.

  50. inmypjs Silver badge

    "more than 1,000 cryptocurrencie"

    More than 1000 now? and people still haven't figured out they a scam?

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