back to article Foot-long £1 sausage roll arrives

Hungry punters fed up with over-priced, under-sized artisan sausage rolls will be pleased to hear a foot-long (30.48cm) meat feast has now arrived costing, um, £1. Even poncey Southerns will be able to get their hands on the snack. Everybody who enjoys eating like they have a death wish can head to their nearest Morrisons as …

Silver badge
Pint

A £1 foot long sausage roll?

WHAT A TIME TO BE ALIVE!!! This is the future! I've tasted it!!!

101
0
Silver badge
Thumb Up

CANCEL ALL MY APPOINTMENTS!

I have a sausage roll to eat!

32
0
Anonymous Coward

*may contain: buttholes, eyelids, feet, other shit we found on the floor

Pay for decent food - America is a lesson to us all

24
24
Silver badge

"*may contain: buttholes, eyelids, feet, other shit we found on the floor

Pay for decent food - America is a lesson to us all"

This annoys me.

You think that because less appetitising parts of the animal are used that it's an inferior product? You're completely wrong. If anything, it's a superior product. Why? You're using the whole animal, rather than the nice looking fleshy bits.

Surely it's an insult to the animal to kill it just for a few pork joins and some bacon and then discard the rest of the animal? It's far more respectful to use every last part of the body in anyway we can.

77
3
Silver badge

It's not the odd bit of the pig

That worry me. I was brought up not to waste food. It's the other stuff. Now, I know these days you can't get away with slipping a few handfuls of sawdust into the mixture but based on taste I suspect that someone has found a way of turning old furniture into "food grade texture supplement".

25
0

Pay for decent food

Whilst I generally agree with the "you get what you pay for", it's not always true either. You can still get inferior food being priced highly because of "brand" labels etc.

42
0
Silver badge

I make this occasionally - just for me.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/food/article-2043218/The-hairy-bakers-Supersized-sausage-apple-puff-recipe.html

You can use sausage meat of your choice and volume. I get dizzy just off the aroma.

(P.s. Apologies for linking to the Mail. I feel a bit dirty now)

11
1
Silver badge
Coat

How could you link the Daily Whinge Bag!

I would link another paper based click-bait website but I can't find any other sausage roll recipes on them.

5
5

Re: It's not the odd bit of the pig

Sometimes you want crap.

I used to live near several excellent butchers, but even so I sometimes found myself craving those cheap arse Richmond's sausages.

11
0
Silver badge
Headmaster

Re: "less appetising parts"

Actually the conventional wisdom on what exactly constitutes the "less appetising parts" is generally wrong. In meat, most of the flavour is locked into hydrophobic molecules that absolutely require fat to dissolve and thus release their flavour. So "trimming the fat" is literally the worst thing you could possibly do to your meat, unless you're the sort of person who thoroughly enjoys the taste of cardboard.

As for what's "bad for you", scientific research has proven that death continues to be the nation's number one killer, and that sadly there is still no cure for mortality. So you might as well just suck it up, and don't forget all that tasty fat!

38
1

FFS! You have eaten a hotdog at some point in your life right?!?

https://www.lspace.org/books/whos-who/cmot.html because Pratchett knew this years ago.

10
0

My 11 year old

Makes these at home.

He gets decent quality sausages and simply slits them, wraps them in puff pastry, brushes some egg yolk on the top and chucks them in the oven.

Food of the gods!*

* please check with your sky fairy of choice, not all gods are supported, see our terms of service for more details.......

18
1
Gold badge

"Surely it's an insult to the animal to kill it just for a few pork joins and some bacon and then discard the rest of the animal?"

It might be, but I'm pretty sure that doesn't mean I personally have to actually eat all of it. There are other ways of using a dead animal. Oh, and I dare say that any veggies reading this will point out that it was an insult to the animal to even bring it into this world just to fatten it up and kill it, no matter how much of it you used afterwards.

Horses for courses I suppose.

11
1

Re: It's not the odd bit of the pig

"Everything but the squeal."

11
0
Silver badge

Re: It's not the odd bit of the pig

"Everything but the squeal."

Or as a butcher in the Yorkshire Dales proudly stated:

"We even use the squeal."

10
0

"*may contain: buttholes, eyelids, feet, other shit we found on the floor"

Why do you think sausage was invented?

20
1
Silver badge

Chain bones?

Apparently not allowed to sell them anymore, although my Dad used to rave about them as being better than spare ribs.

0
0
Silver badge
Windows

Re: "cheap arse sausages"

It's not just me, then.

I was starting to think I had a genetic deformity, because while all those hugely expensive Cumberland-style sausages did nothing for me, despite being hand-crafted by blind Tibetan monks using only the finest Bohemian wild boars and magically enchanted caramelised onions, I have a compunction worthy of Desperate Dan to eat vast platefuls of cheap bangers and mash.

With lots of gravy. Never forget the gravy!

13
0
Silver badge
Joke

"Horses for courses I suppose."

Would that be for the main course? Don't go to Mrs Miggins Pie Shoppe then.

16
0
Silver badge

" Oh, and I dare say that any veggies reading this will point out that it was an insult to the animal to even bring it into this world just to fatten it up and kill it, no matter how much of it you used afterwards."

They can say that all they like. But if humans were meant to eat vegetables exclusively and not eat meat, then we'd have our eyes on the side of our head and teeth that were primarily used for munching grass.

Remember: Veganism is cow genocide.

27
3
Anonymous Coward

Re: "less appetising parts"

As for what's "bad for you", scientific research has proven that death continues to be the nation's number one killer, and that sadly there is still no cure for mortality. So you might as well just suck it up, and don't forget all that tasty fat!

Exactly! I went to see my doctor yesterday, and he explained that as time passes, my body becomes older, and more worn and lived in, so it's not surprising if bits stop functioning like they used to.

His advice could revolutionize medical science - "stop getting older."

9
0
Silver badge

"Veganism is cow genocide."

I've come to the conclusion that vegans really don't like animals.

11
4
Silver badge

"I've come to the conclusion that vegans really don't like animals."
It could be worse. Imagine being a vegan and hating the taste of vegetables...

4
1
Anonymous Coward

Crazy to think there's no equivalent English idiom to "Tout est bon dans le cochon".

1
0
Silver badge

Re: "less appetising parts"

@AC

His advice could revolutionize medical science - "stop getting older."

Unfortunately, I can only think of one way of doing that. I'll stick to the alternative and just slowly get older disgracefully, one day at a time.

6
0
Silver badge

Re: "less appetising parts"

Awesome. Im sure its contains the same meat products as biltong, midnight mouth organ kebabs, haggis, black pudding and 'cheap sausages'.

All good.

3
2
Silver badge

Ask and ye shall receive.

0
0
Thumb Up

Re: My 11 year old

My prediction: He will go far.

3
0
Bronze badge

And you spelt 'Fail' wrong.

0
0
Bronze badge

"may contain: buttholes, eyelids, feet, other shit we found on the floor"

America ain't the lesson here. In the Land of the Free we aren't even allowed to eat anything Truly Offal. It's for our protection, you know.

We are allowed to eat something like 3000 food additives that have been banned in the smarter parts of the world, however.

9
0
Silver badge

"It's far more respectful to use every last part of the body in anyway we can."

Black Pudding!!!!

6
0
Silver badge

Re: "less appetising parts"

""stop getting older."

Unfortunately, I can only think of one way of doing that. I'll stick to the alternative and just slowly get older disgracefully, one day at a time."

There is an alternative way:

The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar

But that's pretty gruesome, too.

1
0
Silver badge

Re: "less appetising parts"

"So "trimming the fat" is literally the worst thing you could possibly do to your meat, unless you're the sort of person who thoroughly enjoys the taste of cardboard."

+1 A well marbled beef joint has a lot more taste than lean beef. Sadly, many people think the lean meat is best because "healthy" and, of course, the lean meat is priced to reflect that. For the rest of us who know better, that means the better meat with some fat still on it is cheaper.

5
0
Silver badge

Re: "less appetising parts"

"For the rest of us who know better, that means the better meat with some fat still on it is cheaper."
And the cognoscenti also know that only a little over half of that fat is saturated. Nearly half is unsaturated. I'd rather get my unsaturated fat from meat than safflower oil thankyou very much.

4
0

"*may contain: buttholes, eyelids, feet, other shit we found on the floor

Pay for decent food - America is a lesson to us all"

Um... You *do* know what sausage casings are made of, right?

1
0
Anonymous Coward

"may contain: buttholes, eyelids, feet, other shit we found on the floor"

There speaks someone who has never tried haggis.

You utter BASTARD! I am now hungry

2
0
Silver badge

I'll see your sausage and

raise you to one haggis

1
0

"Pay for decent food - America is a lesson to us all"

The downvoters are probably Septics who believe their country's dietary intake is the best in the world.

Just like their education and healthcare.

4
1

"Um... You *do* know what sausage casings are made of, right?

Are or were?

2
1
Silver badge

Still are.

No other way. I even use the appendix, the result is called Tom Thumb.

1
1
Silver badge
Pint

That's a broad brush you paint with, sir! Get any on ya?

Having spent a good deal of my life on both sides of the pond, I'd have to say that both the British and the American Great Unwashed are about on an equal footing on 'orribleness of diet. Thankfully there are pockets of gastronomic wonderfulness to be had all over both countries.

Education is also a cross-pond draw.

Healthcare may be nearly free in Blighty, but you get what you pay for. Draw again.

Our governments and religions are equally fucked, too.

And of course stupidity is common across the entire human population.

So basically, we're all a sad bunch over all. Depressing, isn't it? I'm certain Samuel Langhorne Clemens had something pithy to say about that, but I can't be arsed to look it up.

On the bright side, beer.

6
3

Re: "cheap arse sausages" @ Oh Homer

It's gotta be done sometimes.

There was a place that did a cheap bacon and sausage sarnie near a place I worked, cheap bacon, cheap sausages, some Mondays, or miserable grey days on the way to work greasy, salty magic in a barm.

3
0

This post has been deleted by its author

Silver badge

Re: Healthcare may be nearly free in Blighty, but you get what you pay for. Draw again.

We (UK) don't have people dying because they can't afford to have standard treatment.

Now fuck off.

8
4
x 7
Silver badge

""may contain: buttholes, eyelids, feet, other shit we found on the floor"

America ain't the lesson here. In the Land of the Free we aren't even allowed to eat anything Truly Offal. It's for our protection, you know.

We are allowed to eat something like 3000 food additives that have been banned in the smarter parts of the world, however."

So America doesn't have chitlins as its national dish then

(For the uninitiated chitlins are deep fried crispy intestines. Think pork scratchings with an earthy flavour)

1
0

Black Pudding!!!!

Ecky-Thump!!!!

1
0
Anonymous Coward

Now that you have linked to the Daily Mail, I doubt the existence of sausage rolls.

/ Am I doing it right?

1
0
Silver badge

Re: Healthcare may be nearly free in Blighty, but you get what you pay for. Draw again.

No, you have people dying because they can't afford proper treatment. All they can "afford" is standard treatment. If they can be fit in in time.

Now you can kindly fuck off. Ta.

0
6

Every part of a swine

is absolutely effin' fine.

1
0

Re: That's a broad brush you paint with, sir! Get any on ya?

@Jake "On the bright side, beer."

I bet it's hard to get a decent pint of that over there, if they call that tasteless, watery gnat's piss Budweiser the King of Beers.

I wouldn't know, never been there and no desire to, Washington State or New England maybe. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Americans in general, just their Government, Politicians and businesses.

2
1

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Forums

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2018