back to article The Telegraph has killed Prince Philip

The Telegraph newspaper accidentally published an obit of the Duke of Edinburgh, instead of reporting his retirement from official duty today. Google News headlines this morning. The headline of the article read: "HOLD HOLD HOLD Prince Philip Duke of Edinburgh dies aged XXX," with the subhead: "Prince Philip waves goodbye to …

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  1. Neil Alexander

    It's like Hackers but in real life!

    1. MyffyW Silver badge

      Telegraph

      A spokesman for His Royal Highness said "Bloody Tory Rag"

      1. WolfFan Silver badge

        Re: Telegraph

        HRH is a sailor. He expressed himself in ways which would cause Linus Torvalds to blink in amazement before grabbing something to take notes.

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Telegraph

          I noticed that the current series of The Windsors hasn't included any of the foul-mouthed threatening letters from the Duke that were a regular joke in the previous series. Presumably they were afraid he might keel over between production and broadcast.

      2. BebopWeBop

        Re: Telegraph

        A spokesman for His Royal Highness said "Bloody Tory Rag"

        "Bloody Socialist Rag"

        TFTFY

        And then called for his whip and a horse....

      3. gandalfcn Silver badge

        Re: Telegraph

        But what has the Daily Wail to say, or the Excess?

  2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    "We will be reviewing our publishing processes as a matter of urgency."

    A newspaper reviewing its publishing processes because it got something wrong? That should be a headline in itself.

    1. Gazareth

      Probably also review the bit that has them contacting 'palace insiders' whom apparently responded as if the event had actually happened.

  3. frank ly

    But, but, but

    We put 'HOLD HOLD HOLD' right at the front so there was no way it could be released!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: But, but, but

      But didn't add a script to the site to check for HOLD HOLD HOLD in the title.

      1. Lee D Silver badge

        Re: But, but, but

        Irony: I bet there's a button that goes between "hold" and "release" on their CMS anyway.

        Some doughnut probably just unticked the wrong article.

        You'd think it would need some kind of editorial sign-off before it went out but obviously having a two-stage publishing process was obviously too much in the way of holding back the news, eh?

        I know if I was an editor, I'd want someone (sub-editors, etc.) to have to sign off and approve everything pushed to the web before it appeared publicly. And that would be AFTER the article-writer had clicked the "Publish" button.

        1. Anonymous Coward Silver badge

          Re: But, but, but

          Perhaps it was the editor who hit the wrong button?

          1. Lee D Silver badge

            Re: But, but, but

            Then what was an article about a non-current news item doing being in the "request release" queue anyway?

            Problems like this are solved by processes, not tech. Until someone says "Publish this" and then the guy above him says "Yes, this needs to be published", why should it appear on the front page at all.

            If nothing else, one single rogue employee could splat any kind of junk on your front page if they wanted to leave while giving management a message...

            1. FozzyBear
              Devil

              Re: But, but, but

              " could splat any kind of junk on your front page"

              And that basically describes journalism and the news media channels as a whole. Gone the days of at least checking facts. The news media are paparazzi. The only thing that matters is being first with the head line.

  4. Aladdin Sane

    It's how he would've wanted to go.

  5. Chris G

    I say Timkins, call a doctor. According to the Telegraph I'm dead!

    I'm not sure but I think I can feel a pulse.

  6. Anonymous Custard
    Trollface

    The gift for a man who has everything?

    Maybe the Queen should get him an "I aten't dead" sign for such occasions?

    1. Lee D Silver badge

      Re: The gift for a man who has everything?

      Please note: If this is not written on my grave, I have been failed by my family.

  7. Tronald Dump

    Ho ho ho

    it's not even Xmas

  8. Matthew 17

    Proof of the Illuminati

    This shows that there is knowledge of future events as the news for it has already been written.

    They already know what's going to happen, they just release information as and when appropriate to their plan.

    science!!

    Or similar

    1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: Proof of the Illuminati

      "They already know what's going to happen, they just release information as and when appropriate to their plan."

      Remember George V.

      1. Chris G

        Re: Proof of the Illuminati

        "Remember George V"

        What! He's not dead either?

        1. JimboSmith Silver badge

          Re: Proof of the Illuminati

          He died from being given a Speedball by the royal doctor, which is the same way John Belushi went just minus the royal doctor.

          1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: Proof of the Illuminati

            "He died from being given a Speedball by the royal doctor"

            With the timing being news management so it would catch next morning's Times instead of being announced first on the wireless where it would be heard by men in pubs wearing caps - or something like that.

            1. JimboSmith Silver badge

              Re: Proof of the Illuminati

              The doctor didn't want it appearing first in the evening papers. Not sure that's something a jury would go sympathise with these days assuming it got to court.

      2. Anonymous Custard
        Headmaster

        Re: Proof of the Illuminati

        Well it's the one future event (ok one of two if you include being taxed) that is certain to happen at some point for everyone...

  9. Francis Boyle Silver badge

    "Rumours of one's death

    are slightly premature."

    Yes, I prefer Twain's version too.

  10. J. R. Hartley

    Shit like this gives me the creeps.

    As per title.

    1. Prst. V.Jeltz Silver badge

      Re: Shit like this gives me the creeps.

      did you ever find that book about fly fishing?

      1. Chris G

        Re: Shit like this gives me the creeps.

        Fishing for flies ?

        I bet you need a tiny tiny hook for that.

        1. VinceH

          Re: Shit like this gives me the creeps.

          "I bet you need a tiny tiny hook for that."

          The real problem is putting the tiny bait on the tiny hook.

  11. disgruntled yank

    XX?

    I thought he was at least XC.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: XX?

      XCVI i think

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon

        Re: XX?

        Or IVC? Or is that not allowed?

  12. JimC

    Otherwise known as a Swarbricking...

    (nm)

  13. BarryUK

    Fake News. So Sad.

    1. FozzyBear
      Headmaster

      "Fake News"

      Why are people so caught up with this term. Call it for what it is.

      "Bullshit and lies"

  14. Ol'Peculier
    Mushroom

    Before the Interwebs, an English cleaner was working in a TV station in Australia where they were rehearsing an obit on the Queen's death. On hearing this, she rang her mother who still lived in the UK with the news.

    Mother then rings local radio station to ask if they can confirm the Queen had died. Who duly broadcast such news...

    (might have been about '93 as I was working in the media sector then)

    1. albaleo

      In the late 80s, an English language newspaper in Japan published an obituary for the Emperor Hirohito, who was ill at the time. I remember reading it on my morning break and wondering what the folk in the news office would be doing right then.

      http://www.nytimes.com/1988/09/28/world/2-pay-dearly-for-affront-to-hirohito.html

  15. Anonymous Coward
    FAIL

    Over-eager

    I guess they haven't forgiven his missus for that hat.

  16. Ralph the Wonder Llama
    Joke

    Operation Forth Bridge

    Let's see - been around for ages, slightly decrepit and due to be superseded? Check. Some people have died maintaining it? Check. Probably. No longer needs painting all the time? Check. Goes on a bit? Check. Not a known promoter of minorities? Check. No longer requires a tithe? Ah. Oh well.

  17. Tim Brown 1
    Pint

    it would never have happened in my day!

    I worked there starting in 1995 shortly after the Telegraph had launched (in November 1994) the UK's (World's?) first daily news website as Electronic Telegraph.

    At the time, we did nightly updates taking copy from the print edition to put online. Each edition was produced by just three people to start with. On the nights I was on shift, one of my tasks was to check through the whole update for problems before putting it live.

    I never, ever let any problems slip through...

    and never ever had to race back to Canary Wharf in the middle of the night to fix things....

    honestly....

    Oh and coincidentally, the original deskspace for the site on the 11th floor of One Canada Square was right next to obituaries!

    1. Tim Brown 1

      Re: it would never have happened in my day!

      Replying to myself, this story made me all nostalgic and posted this pic on twitter:

      https://twitter.com/tgabber/status/892756923799543809

    2. Nick Kew

      Re: it would never have happened in my day!

      Tim, I remember the Torygraph online. I was living&working in Italy at the time, and suddenly I had access to a newspaper from home. I think the Grauniad appeared around the same time, but was less usable, or perhaps carried a lot less material, 'cos it was the Torygraph that shone.

      Then in about 1996 they changed it all to some dysfunctional table-driven layout. On the connections we had back then (the information dirt-track) it meant nothing would render until a whole page loaded, which was several minutes. RIP the Torygraph as a usable website: the Grauniad now did a better (or less bad) job.

  18. magickmark
    Trollface

    Alive and ....?

    UMM, I'm convinced he's been dead for the last 10 years and its only the embalming fluid that keeps him going!!!

    1. Anonymous Custard
      Pint

      Re: Alive and ....?

      I'm sure my landlord would say the same about me...

    2. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

      Re: Alive and ....?

      its only the embalming fluid that keeps him going

      Nowt wrong with embalming fluid. I prefer mine in the bottles marked "English Whisky Company, Chapter 7"..

      If only I were a journalist. I could put them down as a vital business expense.

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon
        Joke

        Re: Alive and ....?

        Phillip=Dr Phibes and I claim my £5

  19. peterm3
    FAIL

    It says more about the type of "journalism" the Telegraph has, if it just makes stuff up about palace sources before the event has even happened!

    1. Captain DaFt

      It says more about the type of "journalism" the Telegraph has, if it just makes stuff up about palace sources before the event has even happened!

      This is SOP for all news agencies.

      Obits for the rich, famous, and/or powerful are prepared well in advance and updated regularly so they're ready to go the instance they get the word that someone important has joined the choir invisible.

      This wasn't supposed to have been released until they'd heard from the palace sources, with date and time added.

      Someone at the Telegraph screwed up, bigtime!

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