back to article Jesus walks away after 7,000lb pipe van incident

Jesus has miraculously survived a great weight from the heavens that should have crushed him to death, according to Florida TV. 36-year-old Jesus Armando Escobar was driving down the American Interstate 4 motorway on Saturday when a scrap metal truck driver lost control on an overpass above the motorway. The scrap metal truck …

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Meanwhile...

as Jesus Escobar climbed out from the centre of the pipe which had miraculously fallen exactly so that he was protected in the hollow core, a large bird was heard to say "Beep Beep" before pulling out its tongue and running away at a prodigious speed.

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Happy

Re: Meanwhile...

I suppose you deduced this from the discovery of a flattened coyote?

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Re: Meanwhile...

That, and the motorway flyover was later found to consist only of a coat of paint.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Meanwhile...

I think it's more likely that the ticketed truck driver has a metal endoskeleton and will be bakk.

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Anonymous Coward

"If he had been sitting in any other seat, he would have likely been killed,” officials told the local TV station

If he was sitting in another seat and driving he would have been the real Jesus.

What a peculiar comment.

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In the right seat

Good job he wasn't in a Tesla.

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"If he was sitting in another seat and driving he would have been the real Jesus.

What a peculiar comment."

Not really. I can drive my car either from my drivers' seat or the front passenger seat thanks to the placement of my hand controls.

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Talking of peculiar; a segment of a pipe is just a pipe, shirley ?

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Joke

--Not really. I can drive my car either from my drivers' seat or the front passenger seat thanks to the placement of my hand controls.--

That's nothing - my mother-in-law was able to drive my car from any seat in the vehicle, provided I was behind the wheel :(

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a segment of a pipe is just a pipe, shirley

Not really. You see what the article is referring to is just a pipe. A SEGMENT of a pipe would be any pipe formed by two planes intersecting a pipe which are not perpendicular to the axis of the pipe; where one or more of the planes ARE perpendicular to the axis, these form the special cases of a "pipe wedge" in the case of one plane only, and a "shortened pipe" in the case of both planes.

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Anonymous Coward

@Dan McIntyre

Everyday I search for the one and everyday I am almost never disappointed.

Today you win the "there's always one" award.

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@Chunky Munky

Upvoted on behalf of the great Les Dawson.

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Talking of peculiar; a segment of a pipe is just a pipe, shirley ?

Depends on how long it is. A really short piece of pipe is usually called a washer.

And stop calling...

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Was just about to post the same

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Jesus!

That is one lucky guy!

PS: Naming your kid Jesus is not cool, think of going through school being called Jesus and the constant "Jesus" jokes as an adult.

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Re: Jesus!

PS: Naming your kid Jesus is not cool, think of going through school being called Jesus and the constant "Jesus" jokes as an adult.

I'm sure they'd learn to turn the other cheek

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Re: Jesus!

Jesus is a common name in a Mexico and and its produced hey Zeus

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Re: Jesus!

It's not that based, it is based on the same name as Joshua.

Yeshua (Hebrew) -> Iēsous (Greek) -> Jesus (Latin)

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Re: Jesus!

They would learn to do that eventually, but until then they would probably get cross.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Jesus!

"Jesus is a common name in a Mexico and and its produced hey Zeus."

It's VERY common, and sometimes has the last name to go with it. A long time ago in a lab far far away, I saw a Jesus Christ test positive for an STD. No kidding.

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Re: Jesus!

Naming your kid Jesus is not cool, think of going through school being called Jesus and the constant "Jesus" jokes as an adult.

Around here, it seems that roughly every fifth Hispanic male is named 'Jesus' (and some have 'Maria' in the mix; south Germans tend to have that, too) and every sixth Irish male and some Hispanic ones are 'Francis Xavier'. I even know a Jesus Maria Francis Xavier Suarez, though I admit that I did ask him what he did to get his mom mad with him. If you tried to rag on the assorted Jesui in school you'd undoubtedly have a close encounter with a lot of angry Hispanics. Bad idea. As for Jesus jokes at work... that's creating a hostile work environment, son, and I'm pretty sure who'd be laughing as you exit the premises with your stuff in a cardboard box.

And 'Jesus' is far from the worst possible name. I went to school with one boy who was named 'Armour of God'. Everyone called him 'Armie'. I swear I'm not making this up.

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Re: Jesus!

hey Zeus

Zeus is Greek, not Hispanic, and he tends to throw thunderbolts at those who make fun of his name.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Jesus!

" I went to school with one boy who was named 'Armour of God'."

Better than being called Operation Condor, I suppose!

(anyone not getting this terrible joke, go brush up on your Jackie Chan!)

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Re: Jesus!

*rolls eyes*

He clearly meant "pronounced" and either made a typo or was helpfully auto-filled or autocorrected by his phone.

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Re: Jesus!

I used to work for an American company that had an office in Mexico City. This involved a regular exchange of e-mails between me in the UK and the Mexican guys.

It took me a fair amount of time to get over the psychological 'hump' of starting e-mails with 'Hi, Jesus' and 'Hello Angel' etc.

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Re: Jesus!

> Naming your kid Jesus is not cool, think of going through school being called Jesus and the constant "Jesus" jokes as an adult.

I think that would be borderline anti-semitic.

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Devil

Re: Jesus!

*rolls eyes*

He clearly meant "pronounced" and either made a typo or was helpfully auto-filled or autocorrected by his phone.

Yep. And I made a joke out of it, hoping to catch the humor-impaired. It worked.

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This post has been deleted by its author

Re: Jesus!

Yeshua (Hebrew) -> Iēsous (Greek) -> Jesus (Latin) --> Oy! Nutter (ASBO English)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Jesus!

We have a Jesus who is a team lead. His team have 'Jesus is coming, look busy' as their team logo.

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Re: Jesus!

I went to school with a chap named Warren Peace. What were his parents thinking of???

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Re: Antisemitism...

Well he was nearly killed at an overpass rather than a passover... dangers of being a first born.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Jesus!

> PS: Naming your kid Jesus is not cool, think of going through school

> being called Jesus and the constant "Jesus" jokes as an adult.

Sigh...Not where he lives...

Are you Megan "Father Christmas is White' Kelly?

Don't be so insular. There are many cultures out there you know.

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Re: Jesus!

I hope he at least had a sense of humor about it, unlike the sophomore in my 11th grade Spanish class "Ginger Rail". I may have misspelled her last name, but pronunciation wise it was ... you got it: just like Schweppes.

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Anonymous Coward

You said it, man.

Nobody fucks with the Jesus.

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Re: You said it, man.

Not even Mary Magdalene?

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Re: You said it, man.

8 year olds, Dude.

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Re: You said it, man.

UV'ed for the Big Lebowski nod

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Re: You said it, man.

Not even Mary Magdalene?

Depends on how seriously you take "Jesus Christ, Superstar". Way back when the then il Papa just about had a cow at the thought of carpenter-boy Josh banging some Asian chick. Which was one of the major reasons why I went to see the movie when it came out. Boy was the local preacher-boy pissed when he found out; he sentenced me to umpty-ump 'Hail Mary's. I told him to get stuffed. Haven't set foot inside a house of indoctrination since, other than at weddings and funerals.

<exits, singing "Don't Know How To Love Him">

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Re: You said it, man.

There are people that believe Mary Magdalene was his wife and not a whore. Just that the men at the time a that assembled the bible could not handle the idea of a strong women.

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Re: You said it, man.

"There are people that believe Mary Magdalene was his wife and not a whore. "

Assuming he existed at all, that's quite likely. It would be quite unusual for a man not to be married in that time and place.

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WTF?

Pah, almost no damage to that,,,

,,now surviving this, now these are worthy of divine intervention being the reason they survived!

http://metro.co.uk/2014/12/11/between-these-lorries-is-a-car-the-woman-inside-survived-4982877/

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2704093/Crash-victims-miraculously-survive-thumbs-car-crushed-flat-lorrys-shipping-container-load.html

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Joke

Local TV station.

Am I the only one who read that as WTFTV9. PP

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The funny side is a bit morbid here

I had the pleasure of being behind a lorry carrying a container full of scrap on the A14 when it started losing bits of it. Driving down the road to see various bits of metal including what to be a car bonnet tumbling through the air and barely missing your windscreen by a few cm is not very funny.

I had to overtake it at 90mph+ with a "lead foot" praying that nothing else flies out of the top of the skip during the 15 or so seconds to do so and then call the cops to pull him over and secure the road (sharp metal through your tires is almost as pleasant as sharp metal through the windscreen).

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Re: The funny side is a bit morbid here

That's not good! Unfortunately I've also seen insecure loads on fast roads more times than I'd like (i.e. >0) The worst I saw was the side panel of a lorry carrying scaffolding tubes that popped open under the Gs on entering a roundabout. The person in the next lane was not amused, nor was I - I have quite sensitive hearing.

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Re: The funny side is a bit morbid here

I had to overtake it at 90mph+ with a "lead foot" praying that nothing else flies out of the top of the skip during the 15 or so seconds to do so

Captain Wedge Antilles, I presume?

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Re: The funny side is a bit morbid here

You were behind a moving vehicle with bit falling off and you decided to go faster and overtake rather than stop? Dumbass!

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Re: The funny side is a bit morbid here

From (not recent) past experience driving on the A14 requires courage above and beyond the norm at the best of times, at least on the section between the M1/M6 and the M11.

I did something similar to what you did on the A6024 from Holme Moss downhill to the A628 (Woodhead) to warn an HGV that his load of (empty?) oil drums was shifting rather alarmingly.

Not an experience I am anxious to repeat...

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Re: The funny side is a bit morbid here

> The worst I saw was the side panel of a lorry carrying scaffolding tubes that popped open

A friend's son was following a couple of lorries on a motorway when the first suffered a suspension collapse and the leaf springs fell out onto the road. The lorry in front of him ran over one and flipped it up: it went through the windscreen end-on and then through his eye socket, taking the side of his head off.

Somehow, he brought the car to a stop without crashing. His girlfriend, who was in the passenger seat, was unhurt. (As unhurt as seeing a scene from a horror movie play out in front of you can be.)

After three months in a coma and ten months in hospital he got to go home with 'life changing injuries' (as the media now like to say) i.e. blind and deaf on one side, severe brain damage and unable to do anything for himself. He was only mid-twenties.

There is no upside to this story. The police did track down the lorry and driver but because it had passed its most recent MoT they couldn't prosecute.

What can I say? Make the most of what you have when you have it.

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