back to article Apple fanbois are officially sheeple. Yes, you heard. Deal with it

Apple fanbois are officially sheeple. So says American dictionary Merriam-Webster. The American lexicologists added the term of endearment to their tome yesterday, a mere 72 years after its first recorded use in the English language. Helpfully, and entirely non-inflammatorily, Merriam-Webster's people gave two examples of " …

Anonymous Coward

Won't stop them Americanising it though.

"Apple fanboiz are oficialy shepel"

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Joke

Licensees

Lest we forget, the British invented the English language. Us Americans are only licensees.

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Joke

Re: Licensees

I view it more that the British put forth the stodgy Ubuntu version of English, while its colonies everywhere produced the cool Mint versions.

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Re: Licensees

"Lest we forget, the British invented the English language. Us Americans are only licensees."

BS! The English language is Open Source, no license needed!

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Re: Licensees

Yes, definitely OS. Remember, the majority of English speakers do not have it as first language (incl. yours truly).

One of the great things about English is that as the grammar is relatively simple, it is easy to learn enough for it to be usable. My father-in-law puts it like this: "The most spoken language in the World is bad English".

Spelling, though, ...

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Re: Licensees

"The most spoken language in the World is bad English"

Back in the days when Cooks Tours arranged travel for the wealthy one lady remarked that she always had travel arranged by Cooks because she knew there's be an Englishman to meet her, or at least, a broken Englishman.

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Re: Licensees

"Us Americans are only licensees."

And it shows!

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Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

Huh, I wouldn't have thought so with all the exceptions and special cases. I'm a native English speaker who is presently learning Japanese and one of the things that has amazed me about that language is the simplicity and regularity of the grammar in comparison to English grammar. What would you consider a language with complicated grammar then?

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Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

"What would you consider a language with complicated grammar then?"
Finnish; there are more than 12 declensions, no prepositions, no masculine or feminine, no articles...

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Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

What would you consider a language with complicated grammar then?

Basque, Finnish, Navajo, Adyghe, Abkhaz, Korean, Icelandic, Thai, ...

English grammar is in fact pretty simple compared even with its latinate and germanic progenitors. I recall learning Spanish, that the trickiest things to get to grips with were the imperfect past tense (which doesn't exist in English) and the subjunctive mood (which English has almost lost).

Now Afrikaans - there's a really, really simple grammar.

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Boffin

Re: Licensees

Being a Colonial myself, and living within cannon shot of the US border, I get both the King's English and the American version concurrently, depending on which radio/TV station I choose.

The best (and possibly only) example I have which juxtaposes both variations of the language was at, of all places, a US military base, which shall rename nameless, which was being used for joint manoeuvers and training with British, Canadian, and American forces. Consequently, all signage was, in the words of the base commander, in "English, French, and American".

There was a $BUILDING which was not to be entered by mortals, on pain of death. This was made known not only by the well armed guards, but by the imposing sign, which stated, in all three languages:

NO ADMISSION (King's English)

PAS D'ADMISSION (French)

KEEP OUT (AMERICAN)

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Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

Also, no work for "please" (although kiitos seemed to work as both please and thanks, I think).

Oh, god the memories.

Lived for several years in Little Finland in Port Arthur. Was walking down the street one day as a lad, with my friend Toivo. We came across an ungodly long sign in the window. There was a word that was something like 39 letters, which seemed absurd to me. And keep in mind, many of my family speak German.

I asked Toivo what it meant, and he said "oh, it's a travel agent".

Why so many letters? Well, it really said something like "person you pay money to for him to book passage on a boat for you to go on vacation on".

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Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

Now Afrikaans - there's a really, really simple grammar.

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Re: "the grammar is relatively simple"

"Now Afrikaans - there's a really, really simple grammar."

As my Opa used to say, "We are a simple people. We sing. We dance. We shoot on sight."

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Thumb Up

Couldn't be arsed. Elevenses.

Unfortunately one welcome this outbreak of transparency in journalism. Especially during an election. Any chance of the culture's baleful glare turning on the clowns and imbeciles currently trying to get our votes?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Couldn't be arsed. Elevenses.

No, please no. Let el'reg be a sanctuary against the p!sh we're about to go through yet again. As a Scot I've had to vote in elections and referendum far too often recently. I'm bored of it and the SNP.

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Re: Couldn't be arsed. Elevenses.

Does he really want to be woken up and godforesaken-o'clock to be asked what he thinks about it?

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Re: Couldn't be arsed. Elevenses.

"I'm bored of it and the SNP."

Eh? An independence referendum, an EU referendum, a local election, and an upcoming general election following the one two years ago?

In essence, you're complaining because you were expected to get out and vote for something five times in the last three years? No wonder democracy is screwed.

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Democracy is two wolves and a sheep deciding on what's for dinner. CBA either

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Anonymous Coward

(delete as appropriate)

Here it is for your amusement / enragement / indifference.

Same for "fandroids", "winblows", "microshaft", etc.

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Re: (delete as appropriate)

Up vote for you. Most of these epithets became tedious a week after they were coined. Now they just embarrass the writer.

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Re: (delete as appropriate)

A week? I'd say they were tedious the second they were uttered.

I must admit, those words do have their uses, the foremost as an indicator that the writer has nothing useful to add to the conversation and can be safely ignored, a shit-boleth, if you will.

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Coat

I'll bet some of them baaaaather to complain.

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Coat

Not if someone pulls the wool over their eyes.

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Nah

Herd that one before.

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Re: Nah

Have you not heard of a "flock"? As in "The shaman fleeced his/er flock of sheeple".

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Anonymous Coward

I'm not sure what you're bleating on about?

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Anonymous Coward

Everyone is a sheeple!

Microsoft has its loyalists and so does Android and any other company!

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Trollface

Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

Do Android users dream of Electric Sheeple?

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Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

Not true. Some of us are equal opportunity skeptics.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

OK, so I will spell it out.

iPhone is a consumer product, Android is not. The 1000's of unique devices that run Android means that you claim fails.

Or for something that Apple plebs might be able to understand, an simple analogy:

You can be a sheepie to a specific make of car (say a BMW M5) but you can't be a sheepie to say Petrol cars in general.

This is a regular failing of sheepies, they think all Android phones are the same, as because they tried a £99 Android phone in 2012 and it wasn't a patch on their £1000 iPhone, it therefore clearly applies that all Android phones must adhere to that cretin logic.

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Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

A regular failing of Fandroids is belief that the only reason someone could possibly prefer iPhone over Android is outdated information, like your 2012 Android phone example.

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Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

This is a regular failing of sheepies, they think all Android phones are the same, as because they tried a £99 Android phone in 2012 and it wasn't a patch on their £1000 iPhone, it therefore clearly applies that all Android phones must adhere to that cretin logic.

I've no problem with Android phones, I've seen that there is some really wonderful hardware available.

It's the f***ing OS that I can't stand, it's like someone built that BMW M5 and then put the engine from a lawnmower in it.

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Pint

Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

Comment of the year!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

Which falls I to don't judge all android phones based on your experience of one (likely a Samsung one).

Mine is blisteringly fast, has 2 days of battery life, a superb camera and the OS is a proper grown up os that supports proper grown up stuff, like proper multitasking, proper app sandboxing and proper app background services.

It destroys anything Apple has to offer and it costs less too (but then I am not funding Apple stores, freebie press "gifts", Apple spacestation and other nonsense that adds a couple of hundred quid to the cost of every Apple handset)

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Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

"Destroys" anything Apple has to offer in what sense? Certainly not CPU performance, Samsung & Qualcomm SoCs are so far behind Apple's on single thread performance they aren't even playing the same game. They beat Apple on multithreaded performance, but just barely and only because they have double the number of cores!

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Meh

Re: Everyone is a sheeple!

but they seem to have suggested not that Android was a product (as you implied in your rebuttal) but a company... oh dear. AC, is it pasture bedtime or something?

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pxd

M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

"Apple's debuted a battery case for the juice-sucking iPhone – an ungainly lumpy case the sheeple will happily shell out $99 for." How about: "Apple's introduced a battery case for the juice-sucking iPhone – an ungainly lumpy case for which the sheeple will happily shell out $99." FTFY.

By the way, I actually own one of these cases - very useful if you plan a long walk somewhere, using your phone plus a digital OS map, plus GPS. With the case fitted, I reckon two full days of walking between charges is possible - not bad, given continuous GPS use; and it fits in your pocket. Baaa! pxd

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Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

I've got a power bank and cable, cost £7.99, claims 6000mAh and fits in your pocket.

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Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

I've got a phone with a removable battery. If it ages, I can replace it. And currently, sporting an oversized battery, so added on bits are not required for walks of some significant distance.

(There's also the option of saving battery power by the simple method of looking at things that aren't your phone, of course.)

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pxd

Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

Sure - but more bits and pieces in your pocket. pxd

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Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

I've got a map in my back pocket, and I know where the sun is.

Seriously, put down the electronics and get outside and enjoy yourself! Furrfu!

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pxd

Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

Better - only one item to juggle using a non-iPhone with an oversized battery fitted; and I bet it didn't cost $99, either. I quite accept the fact that I am one of the sheeple, but that is my choice and I can afford it, so who cares? Your point about (I assume) maps, though: if you can use a map and compass to navigate securely in wind and rain and (particularly) dark and/or fog, and be supremely confident about where you are at all times, you're a much better orienteer-person than me. You'll still be juggling three things at minimum, though - just one for me. I spent a large chunk of my youth as a scout, learning how to do it the other way, and I don't miss it at all. I'm sure there's a proto-European looking down at us, feeling smug about his/her ability to find their way out of Africa without maps or compasses, too. pxd

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Anonymous Coward

Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

What's a map? Isn't that a google website? How'd you put it in your back pocket?

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Silver badge

Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

"and I know where the sun is"

Yes, it's somewhere above all the thick clouds. YMDV

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Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

Sure - but more bits and pieces in your pocket. px

Or on the 95% of occasions that I don't need it, less.

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Re: M-W: grammar not a strength, then . . .

You don't need a map. And you don't need a Jesus phone, either; just accept that you can't walk on water and you should be fine.

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Missed pun opportunity...

Can't believe you didn't go with:

"Apple fanbois are officially sheeple. Yes, you *herd*. Deal with it".

Yes, I know it's a flock/drove or whatever, but still, what a waste!

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Re: Missed pun opportunity...

Ewe missed an opportunity there, but it was a good pun so I won’t ram it home by bleating on about it. I’m ovine a good time just reading the comments here. Nothing woolly about these gags.

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Re: Missed pun opportunity...

Missed this one when I posted my own 'herd'. I skipped like a lamb when I thought of it, but now I realise I don't have the chops to be a punster. Hoofing it out of here...

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