back to article You just sent an on-prem app to the cloud and your data centre has empty racks. What now?

On-premises data centres are expensive to build and operate, which is one reason public cloud is so attractive … albeit not so attractive that organisations will immediately evacuate on-premises data centres. But it is generally accepted that lots of workloads will migrate to the cloud in coming years and that hybrid clouds …

  1. Phil Kingston Silver badge

    Secure? Away from prying eyes? Light? Powered? Cool? Level?

    Anything other than sticking a sofa, a beer fridge and an awesome Scalextric track should be illegal.

    1. Pirate Dave
      Pirate

      sounds like the perfect place for the new IT team building exercise room. The trick is to word the P.O. so it says something less obvious than "8-ft Pool Table"

      1. Ugotta B. Kiddingme

        'something less obvious than "8-ft Pool Table"'

        1 each regulation sized Cavicci Team Building Exercise table.

        1 set 15 Interactivity Spheres (plus one white Actuator Sphere)

        4 each 150cm Cumululative Uniformity Enhancement devices (aka CUEs)

        1 each wall-mounted storage rack for CUEs

        1 each delivery/setup fee

        1. Pirate Dave
          Pint

          Re: 'something less obvious than "8-ft Pool Table"'

          Well done, sir.

        2. Fatman
          Joke

          Re: 'something less obvious than "8-ft Pool Table"'

          Nice first attempt, but you have failed to list some optional equipment. Such as:

          Pressurized (alcoholic) beverage dispenser (beer keg),

          Horizontal beverage support counter (bar),

          Nourishment container (bowl for peanuts),

          Employee seating (bar stool),

          Deluxe 'Power Point' display panel (flat screen TV),

          Sound system, (jukebox),

          Mood inducing lighting (strobe lights),

          PHB attitude adjuster (baseball, cluebat, etc),

          """Candy""" (recreational drugs and pharmaceuticals),

          Sporting equipment intended to """sharpen""" focus on achieving corporate goals (dart board with plenty of darts, and life size photos of obnoxious PHB's).

          Combine these to create a 'desirable' work experience.

          1. Pirate Dave

            Re: 'something less obvious than "8-ft Pool Table"'

            That would be next year's "Rejuvenation" project...

  2. joeldillon

    ' But it's clear that data centres built for pre-cloud requirements are unlikely to be full in future.'

    'The world has an insatiable appetite for data centres'

    Eh?

  3. LDS Silver badge
    Joke

    Move remaining employees to the underground space...

    .... so executives and upper managers can have lager, more luminous offices and meeting areas.

    Isn't that the cloud all about?

  4. Gavin Chester
    Happy

    Blacklights, UV reactive paint, loud 80's disco music and maybe some foam on the corners and you have a 90's throwback Quasar suite ready to go...

  5. You have not yet created a handle
    FAIL

    Keem em ticking over..

    because in 5-10 years time everyone will be moving back to them, much like on-shoring the off-shoring fad of the 00's

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Soundproof it and turn it into a nuclear bunker with enough food to last one person two months encase it in a Faraday cage or add a mobile jammer.

    Wait till someone you dislike is working late, check the logs for news websites they use. Hijack the dns for two news website and cut off the rest of the internet then serve pages claiming a nuclear attack has been launched. Use a phone jammer in the office and turn off the phone system for a few minutes.

    As they open the door to the "bunker" have a sensor that sets off explosion sounds and a low rumbling on a sub woofer for that extra realistic effect.

  7. Androgynous Cow Herd

    Someone beat me to it

    Keep the space available for when the bean counters figure out keeping it on prem was more cost effective. That should be about 18 months - 2 years from when it all went to the cloud...

  8. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Coat

    modern data centres run in the low twenties.

    There was one in Leeds I used to go to every now and then. On a hot summers day, temps reaching 30c (yes, that's extremely hot for the UK!), wifey asked me why I was putting my coat in the car. It was fecking *cold* inside that place!

    The fur lined one --------->

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Too obvious..

    Grow your own....

    Already have Racks for the plants, already got your filtered air.... Just need to add specialist lights and hydration system.... I bet your average datacentre could easily be used to turn a tasty profit!!!! (and no-one will notice the power consumption to come knocking on your door!!!!

    Anon - just in case!!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Too obvious..

      I had a similar idea years ago. At the time, my employer owned an old, vacant Bank building with a fairly large vault - probably 10' x 10'. We were the only dept that ever went into the bank building since we had a couple of small safes in the vault for our "offsite data backup" tape storage (it was "offsite" enough to keep the auditors happy). I was the only person who had both the combination and the key to the 14"-thick steel vault door.

      I used to think about it, but never tried. My luck in such things tends to run from "bad" to "worse", so I knew I'd end up in irons if I tried. Best to keep the nose clean.

      On a related note, you'd think an empty Bank with a reinforced concrete and steel vault would be a very safe place. Yes, it is when there are tornadoes, fires, etc.. But at 4:00 on Friday, when you go over by yourself to retrieve the Friday tapes, you can't help but think - "If there's some vagrant druggie hanging out somewhere in this building and he locks me in the vault, I'm totally screwed and probably gonna die slowly." Eerie...

  10. Fan of Mr. Obvious

    RC track

    Indoor RC (battery powered of course) track for 1/18 scale cars. Did it, nothing short of an absolute blast.

    1. Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor (Written by Reg staff)

      Re: RC track

      Photos please ssharwood at sitpub.com

  11. EnviableOne Bronze badge
    Coat

    ours is a rather pedestrian Bike store ....

    1. Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor (Written by Reg staff)

      Photos or it didn't happen. ssharwood at sitpub dotcom

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