back to article Reg now behind invisible HTML5 Bitcoin paywall

Readers will be aware that these are tough times for the media. And The Register is no exception: like many other publishers we need to diversify our revenue base. So we set a team of developers to find disruptive ways of funding our journalists, pun-generation labs and to ensure our founders' long labours are properly …

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  1. Zmodem

    nobody uses bitcoin

    1. Wensleydale Cheese Silver badge
      Happy

      "nobody uses bitcoin"

      You do now.

      1. Marketing Hack Silver badge

        The rumor that somebody uses Bitcoin is the real April Fools joke :)

        1. Danny 14 Silver badge

          I did my april 1st bit! All the laptops in sainsburys are set to el reg now.

          I didnt want to touch the ipads as i might have burst into flames.

          1. Zmodem

            "You do now."

            i pay with real money with a debit card

            1. m0rt Silver badge

              Anyone else noticed that every comment gets a TROLL icon? :D

              1. Anonymous Coward
                Thumb Up

                Did you notice the troll icon is click-able?

                1. Anonymous Coward
                  Trollface

                  Tappable, please. And the effect is very pleasing.

              2. chivo243 Silver badge
                Facepalm

                @m0rt

                Funny eh, El Reg must have some snooping powers too as we were discussing this prank in the office yesterday... I'm disabling my microphone Monday!

            2. Karl H

              "real money"

              this could descend into a meta-physical, economic debate as to whether any money is truly real.

              I guess "commodity" money had a "real" representation when the gold standard existed.

              Lots of (name your fiat currency here) "money" just exists as some number in a database on some computer somewhere, and that's not even thinking about bitcoin.

              (the short version) Seems to me "money" is a virtual numbers game that the ruling elite continually tweak to their advantage ( no surprise there ). The ruling elite don't like bitcoin because they don't control it .

    2. e^iπ+1=0

      Saturday

      April Fools on a Saturday means not enough appropriate articles on El Reg. Thanks very much for this one, Team Reg.

      May be even worse next year - Sunday!

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Saturday

        I almost fell for it. then I saw the date on the comments and I'm like "o...k..." and I bothered to look at the links. Suffice it to say that the patent link was EQUALLY brilliant, and the other ones, amusing at the least.

        Well done El Reg, it made me smile.

    3. Steve Channell
      Thumb Up

      Uncanny Predictor of the future

      I remember El Reg stories about MS Linux and Visual Studio on Linux (both on 1st April), turning out to be true. I'm going to stop clicking on the adverts just to generate fees :'-)))

    4. -tim
      Devil

      nobody uses bitcoin

      Its good to see that TheReg has a «best practice» security plan in place and is looking ahead to when they get p0wned by ransomware.

    5. J. R. Hartley Silver badge

      Really? Like the way no-one listens to techno?

    6. Oh Homer Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: nobody uses bitcoin

      A few points:

      • First, April Fool!
      • Second, had it actually been real, I'd rather contribute to El Reg with CPU cycles than bandwidth-eating spam
      • Third, however I fear that might fall foul of the Computer Misuse Act and friends. especially without an opt-in/out disclaimer
      • Fourth, did I mention April Fool?

    7. ezekielchariot

      I used Bitcoin last week to buy all the parts I needed for a dual xeon PC upgrade, all off Amazon

      How is it that people arent using Bitcoin ?

      Very quick, very convenient and no CC companies ripping me off

      I purchased a bunch of x11 miners last year using bitcoin.

      Some of my customers are using Bitcoin to buy engineering supplies off me in NZ as I added it as a purchase method with 25% discount.

    8. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Now it makes sense

      The sensationist click bait.....

      1. Danny 14 Silver badge

        Re: Now it makes sense

        cycle sucking adverts and spam on el reg? adverts. how quaint.

        http://imgur.com/a/SNK1p

  2. agatum
    Coffee/keyboard

    As I was reading this I actually thought this to be a good idea; I'd gladly give you some of my processor time in exchange for your hard work. And after you mother******* successfully rickrolled me (yes I clicked the 'source code here' link) I still think it's a good idea.

    I've never been rickrolled before and years since I was last succesfully april fooled. And now laughing my ass off, thanks el reg. Maybe because of this kind of stuff I keep coming back here, after some 15 years now.

    1. heyrick Silver badge

      The problem with El Reg is that half of the stories could easily qualify as April Fools.

      I mean, wasn't there one just the other day about a bunch of countries on this side of The Atlantic demanding secure encryption with a convenient back door? <sigh>

      1. Pompous Git Silver badge

        "wasn't there one just the other day about a bunch of countries on this side of The Atlantic demanding secure encryption with a convenient back door?"
        No worse than a bloke I once worked for. He wanted new ideas, but only "thoroughly tested" ones.

    2. dajames Silver badge
      Pint

      (yes I clicked the 'source code here' link)

      I was rather expecting that link to lead to a lurid flashing banner saying "April Fool" ... that it was a rickroll was just icing on the cake.

      Well done, El Reg! Have one of these --->

      1. David Webb

        Being rickrolled totally sucks, it sucks so bad I had to replay the video a few times because you know the rules and so do I, so I just want to tell you how I'm feeling, got to make you understand.

      2. JLV Silver badge
        Trollface

        trusting rickrollees

        Hmmm, we can see the truly moderately paranoid amongst us.

        Knowing that it was a rickroll, I clicked on the link.

        Nothing. Just some random YouTube archival page that wasn't loading. Had to tell NoScript to let it pass for now.

        Still nothing. Turns out it also needed Flash and I haven't had that in years.

        Have a beer on me for your bravery ;-)

    3. JonP

      I clicked the link too, but have java script disabled so ... irony or something.

      Thing is it's not a bad idea, if someone lingers on page (possibly even reads it) for 20-30s ... I imagine bit coin mining has got to the point where it probably isn't worth the effort, but there are new 'bit coins' all the time, mine, cash in, move on .. it could work. couldn't it?

      1. bombastic bob Silver badge
        Alien

        "I imagine bit coin mining has got to the point where it probably isn't worth the effort"

        let's look for space aliens instead...

      2. FlippingGerman

        Cost

        I think the main reason it's slowed is that electricity now costs more than you'll get using normal hardware. But if it's someone else's machine you're not paying for that, so it seems like it could actually work.

    4. Paul 129
      Happy

      I missed the links!

      Read the article, called shenanigans and checked the date.... Ah ha! Dropping into the comments, ID Missed the links!!!! went back, the patent one had me laughing!

      Nice!

    5. Danny 14 Silver badge

      A techie changed the IE intranet.url GPO target to a rickroll page one april fool. People were not best pleased, I was surprised he kept his job.

  3. ammabamma
    Alien

    Oh oh.

    Javascript you say?

    I heard from a friend (of a friend...) that one of the Shadow Equation Broker Group's leaked attack tools was a dynamic reverse redirect rewrite router written entirely in Javascript and embedded in the new SHA-256 certificates. Supposedly it silently redirects your browser to a harmless looking "Rickroll" video prank page. The music video has a special carrier signal embedded in ultrasonic and infrasonic frequencies that hack any IoT devices within speaker range to mine (?i:bit|scrip|doge|\w+)coins to crowd fund the Patreon of the NWO's Lizard chemist research to develop a a fair-trade, carbon neutral chemtrail chemical

    1. e^iπ+1=0

      Re: Oh oh.

      "The music video has a special carrier signal embedded"

      The signal is, of course, embedded in the video, and is covertly picked up by one of these handily available scanners:

      https://m.theregister.co.uk/2017/03/30/scanners_as_covert_command_control_conduit/

  4. bazza Silver badge

    April 1st?

    1. Nick Ryan Silver badge

      I suspect it's not a coincidence, but would be hilarious if it was genuinely patented :)

    2. Anguilla

      Huh??? My FRIDAY copy of "The Reg" always arrives around 05:00 GMT - on MONDAY arvo in Hong Kong.

  5. Alistair Silver badge
    Windows

    4 feet of snow outside and I get this.

    You clicked on a link on an article containing "The Register" "Paywall" "bitcoin", I'm surprised your system is still working. By now the NSA, the GCHQ, the Ukranian and German agencies are all arguing about who you belong to.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    This story could have worked a few years ago, but now everyone knows that literally no amount of GPUs can compete with ASIC. Good effort though.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Pint

      Re: Not had breakfast yet

      Just had brekkie, though I daresay I hadn't when you posted. My favourite from the Reg time machine.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Not had breakfast yet

        "Just had brekkie, though I daresay I hadn't when you posted. My favourite from the Reg time machine."

        Which particular post?

        You can get the direct link to a commentard post by clicking on its date field.

  8. Notas Badoff

    Side effects

    And here I was going to congratulate you at how your background processing somehow made FireFox run more smoothly, using much less CPU.... Oh dear, why is it running better?? An April Fools trick by Mozilla?

    1. Danny 14 Silver badge

      Re: Side effects

      Probably all the other stories about tesetting your router, alt f4 speeds up your browser etc have kept the idiots off the web.

    2. Archtech Silver badge

      Re: Side effects

      More ordinary blokes than usual still sleeping off last night?

  9. tedleaf

    How many will this story catch out ?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Only Charles9, who will go on an amphetamine fuelled anti-javascript rant. As usual.

      1. Kiwi Silver badge
        Angel

        ...who will go on an amphetamine fuelled...

        See that brightness above my head? That's the light of understanding that has finally been illuminated! (well, in this case anyway!) Much thanksness!

  10. Esme

    Nice one

    Although if you'd run it on any day other than 1st April, you'd've got me! (It actually does sound like a decent idea for getting El Reg some moolah (and I'm not technically good enough to know whether it's actually feasible or not), the which I'd not mind at all))

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Nice one

      Indeed. I'm actually hoping El Reg does implement something like that !

  11. DougS Silver badge

    Disappointed in El Reg

    If you had true commitment to the gag, you would have actually patented this, so you could have linked to a real patent instead of one of Apple's.

    7 out of 10, but it could have been 10/10 with that touch!

    1. Korev Silver badge

      Re: Disappointed in El Reg

      I just like seeing the Sun logo on the patent office page's Favicon :)

      Netcraft suggests they're running Sun One Webserver on UPUX, which may not be strictly true!

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