back to article Has your spouse stayed on after Mobile World Congress? This sex doll brothel might be why

Is your significant other staying a little longer at Mobile World Congress than you expected? You may want to ask them about the robo sex house recently installed nearby the mobile extravaganza venue in Barcelona. Billed as “the first sex doll agency in Europe”, Lumidolls offers punters a choice of four silicone dolls with …

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Coat

I'll leave this here.

http://metro.co.uk/2015/07/29/richard-herring-robot-sex-is-not-at-all-sleazy-and-shouldnt-count-as-infidelity-5317483/

"I asked my wife if she’d mind me having sex with a robot that looked exactly like the actor Gemma Chan and for some reason she said that she would mind that."

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Ogi

Re: I'll leave this here.

> "I asked my wife if she’d mind me having sex with a robot that looked exactly like the actor Gemma Chan and for some reason she said that she would mind that."

Why would she? You are in the end screwing an inanimate object (*1). Except that just being a fake boob or fake orifice of some sort, the bits come together ready assembled in humanoid form.

If an inanimate object can rival your partner for company and enjoyment of life, then you already have massive relationship issues. For people in happy relationships, it would not be seen as a threat (any more than those women who use all those electric toys from time to time).

(1) Not that I would be that interested or keen in screwing inanimate objects, but each to their own.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I'll leave this here.

An inanimate object with fake boobs? A description that could apply to some of the slappers at kicking out time around here...

And some of those need to be "disinfected with special antibacterial soaps” before each “service”.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I'll leave this here.

An inanimate object with fake boobs

Gigantic fake boobs to be more exact. It looks almost as ridiculous as a Kardie. Probably the intellectual level is very similar too.

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Anonymous Coward

For people in happy relationships, it would not be seen as a threat

Correct. I'm also surprised by spouses who object to porn use. Fortunately Mrs Coward is pretty understanding: "I'm coming up to bed when this programme finishes so you've only got fifteen minutes for a wank"

The previous Mrs Coward, on the other hand, thought I was a psychopath. Interestingly the previous Mrs Coward looks like the She Devil whilst the current one looks like, well, lets just say that I only need porn if she doesn't feel like it.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: For people in happy relationships, it would not be seen as a threat

"The previous Mrs Coward, on the other hand, thought I was a psychopath."

Was she right and will the current Mrs Coward be joining her under the patio when she no longer looks like a porn star?

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Anonymous Coward

"have three orifices [...]"

Five?

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Anonymous Coward

3 certainly seems more correct than 5?

I could see how you could say 7, or even 9 with a bit of eye gouging, but I don't get 5.

AC, because horrifying comment.

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Anonymous Coward

Come on, not this one

Come on, not the perennial "not in my ears" joke.

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Anonymous Coward

10 in fact

you forgot the power socket

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Come on, not this one

> Come on, not the perennial "not in my ears" joke.

Bit of a mindf*ck that.

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Anonymous Coward

Extra 2 for Armpit sex, you can have it hairy if you so wish and the tightness is adjustable.

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Anonymous Coward

Nasal Sex.

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Anonymous Coward

"Extra 2 for Armpit sex"

Armpits are not an orifice. A for effort, D- for biological accuracy.

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As long as the owner of the armpit has deck of cards to shuffle.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: 10 in fact

9 for the European version, see we really are better out.

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Anonymous Coward

"Nasal Sex"

Not to be sneezed at.

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Re: Come on, not this one

> Come on, not the perennial "not in my ears" joke.

Aural sex only sounds like a good time.

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Coat

I really wouldn't want to be...

The guy who has to clean them afterwards...

Mines the one with the antibacterial soap stuffed in his pockets... --------->

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Facepalm

Re: I really wouldn't want to be...

Easy enough to have it done by a robot.

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Ogi
Coat

Re: I really wouldn't want to be...

> Easy enough to have it done by a robot.

But who would clean the robot cleaning robot then?

" It's robots all the way down! " :-)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: I really wouldn't want to be...

" It's robots all the way down! "

Eventually you'd reach a point where the robots were small enough and cheap enough that you'd simply destroy (with a lot of fire!) after each use, rather than clean them.

Realistically though, surely such a sex doll could be made self cleaning, with some sort of flushing mechanism on the inside. It could even be activated during use.....

N.B. There really are a lot of filthy AC comments on this thread, I swear they're not all me.

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Silver badge

Re: I really wouldn't want to be...

"I really wouldn't want to be...

The guy who has to clean them afterwards..."

I'm sure there are some out there that would pay for that.

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Re: I really wouldn't want to be...

"Realistically though, surely such a sex doll could be made self cleaning, with some sort of flushing mechanism on the inside. It could even be activated during use....."

There are, they are called prostitutes...

Or as per another ACs comment:

"An inanimate object with fake boobs? A description that could apply to some of the slappers at kicking out time around here...?"

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Silver badge

Nothing for the wimmin?

I came here expecting to hear about male dolls.

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Ogi

Re: Nothing for the wimmin?

> I came here expecting to hear about male dolls.

Most women who are into using inanimate objects seem to only really need one part of the male anatomy for their pleasure. Also, it is far easier for women to get a man for a night than vice versa, so a woman who wants animated anatomy plus its life support system can find one relatively easy.

Saying that, perhaps in time that will be the case as well, but they figured "Lonely desperate men" are a market segment not to be ignored (Of course, not all men who would be interested in this are lonely and desperate, but a subset will be, and they can be a decent source of start up income).

Also, I suspect the women would want the dolls to actually, you know, move (in and out, if nothing else). So once they get the inanimate bit down pat and find whether it is a viable business model, they can look into animated dolls and upgrades in order to increase market penetration and broaden its exposure.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Nothing for the wimmin?

Just a statement about the primary audience of MWC.

Reminds me of the wonderful days when the Oracle shindig attendees were given discount coupons for the stripper joins in the area.

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Thumb Up

Re: Nothing for the wimmin?

...in order to increase market penetration...

Well said.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Nothing for the wimmin?

discount coupons for the stripper joins in the area.

There are always people handing out such coupons in the surrounding streets, but they aren't sponsored by Oracle.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Nothing for the wimmin?

Also, I suspect the women would want the dolls to actually, you know, move (in and out, if nothing else)

I daresay Sybian have this under careful consideration, given that the mechanics appear to be largely sorted. All they need to do is put it inside a shop mannequin.

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Silver badge

Re: Nothing for the wimmin?

What are you Rampant Rabbiting on about?

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Nothing for the wimmin?

'Two years ago Dr Kathleen Richardson told The Register that sex robots, the logical evolution from realistic silicone sex dolls, ought to be banned. ®'

Usual double standards. Its "sad and lonely" men that need this kind of "perversion", and it should be banned immediately. Meanwhile, Ann Summers has become a high street name and their products are considered mainstream, normal and healthy for wimmin to explore their sexuality. Even the realistic, battery-powered, one might say "robotic" models.

What gives, feminists? Where's your drive for equality now?

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Meh

Re: Nothing for the wimmin?

Sorry, you are confusing feminism with something else. Actual feminists have no problem with anything adults consent* to or do on their own. Anyone (of any gender) who tries to claim otherwise should be avoided.

*Consent should be both informed and free of any form of coercion, of course.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Nothing for the wimmin?

"*Consent should be both informed and free of any form of coercion, of course."

Oh really? Whats the formal feminist position on pornography then? Is it ok for women to participate in it?

best of luck working that one out.

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"use lubricants", "use condoms". If the dolls are that fussy I'm off to get a real woman.

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Anonymous Coward

'Ere

this rubber doll has an 8 inch dick!

Ah yes Sir, it's inside out.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: 'Ere

Ah - possibly a she-male/she-boy version. Reminds me of a cartoon birthday card showing a bar in the Far East. An attractive young lady hostess is wearing a bikini. The bottom of the bikini has a legend printed on the front of it - "May contain nuts".

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Re: 'Ere

Yeah, I mean, that's exactly how they are easy to clean. And you can probably sell videos of the overpressure turning inside bits out process to the discerning connoisseur, too.

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Silver badge
Coat

Re: 'Ere

the overpressure turning inside bits out

11 - air hose coupling

12 - overpressure valve

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Big Brother

"Plasma screen TVs are available in each room..."

Hopefully not "Smart" enabled, or connected to webcams...

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Re: "Plasma screen TVs are available in each room..."

That's kinda retro, isn't it?

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Anonymous Coward

Eighty Euros

So more expensive than a local girl who will be equally as dead as a sack of spuds during sex and yet only cost you 25 euros for a quickie behind the rubbish nightclub on the beach front (away from that nice part of Barcelona).

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Silver badge

Re: Eighty Euros

Hookers (Putas) are a part of Spanish culture, there are Clubs de Noche all over, or, if you like to put 'Putas+your locale' into the search engine on your phone you will get a list of local girls, the services they offer plus photos. Many of them will visit youin your hotel/house/car or you can go to them, I am reliably told that they are more interesting than a sack of spuds.

A club (brothel) visit is likely to cost more than €80 as they will stiff you on the drinks but via the phone my single/frustrated mates at work tell me €50-€70/ hr is average, if I were not happily married and was feeling the need I think I would prefer the real thing to a disinfected lump of rubber.

YMMV

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Bah!

Dr Kathleen Richardson is wrong.

Robot Totty should not only be legal, it should - more importantly - be a real thing by now.

Stupid laggardly robotics "experts".

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Anonymous Coward

So....

More expensive than buying a fleshlight + over priced lube + 6 pack of beer.

In the same ball park as hiring a person for the same job.

Not sure why you'd bother....

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Anonymous Coward

Quite

On the other hand, I am in Barcelona next month, I do have a Fleshlight (and think they're great) and would not otherwise be able to try one of these.

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On leaving.. you will make the payment in cash or card

Argh, first rule of sex work - even if you are silicone - get the money first.

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