back to article Zuckerberg thinks he's cyber-Jesus – and publishes a 6,000-word world-saving manifesto

Whatever Mark Zuckerberg's taking, we want some, too. Because last night it looks like the Zuck stayed up late with a couple of university freshmen and solved the world's problems, making sure they wrote it down so they didn't wake up in the morning and forget it. Behold a 6,000-word manifesto from the CEO and cofounder of …

Pint

meh

You know what they say, "Those who can't do, teach."

I feel a bit of that coming out in this article.

So Zuck's out there doing, doing whatever he wants and writing trailing missives and diatribes.

Possibly imbibing or taking A class substances while doing so.

BFD, you use Zuck's "infrastructure" you better believe he's going to be a rational actor in the market and pump that shit up, hype that brand and become even more monolithic.

I conclude simply by saying this:

What's freindface and why do i need it?

happy weekend!

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Re: meh

>What's freindface and why do i need it?

So that you realise the truth that you need more Cuke in your life.

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Re: meh

Scrabble, I'm in!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: meh

You know what they say, "Those who can't do, teach."

Or in this case, preach. I guess he got bullied a lot at school, and now his ego is overcompensating.

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Re: meh

This actually all sounds astonishingly like standard corporate bollocks-speak, such as every senior figure in any large organisation involving IT seems to want to trot out at every opportunity. Every single one of these people are serious, earnest and really do wish to make the world a better place, and every one of them ends up sounding like a hippie high on a particularly successful weed plantation.

It basically all comes down to corporate grandstanding. Facebook is basically about deceiving people into thinking that they have a higher social status than they actually have. Humans are hard wired to be status-seeking little monkeys, and a system that lets them believe that they have oodles of friends who hang upon their every word is always going to sell on the basis of self-delusion. Facebook isn't going to change the world, but merely brighten it up for a lot of people.

Self delusion is a powerful motivator. This is why the National Lottery has worked so well at separating idiots from their money; humans are really crap at actually perceiving reality. Zuck is no exception here; he's very, very humans indeed.

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Re: meh

This isn't teaching it's preaching. I can't wait for Zuckerbergs first actual miracle where in front of the worlds massed media he actually disappears up his own arsehole on a Live Facebook videostream.

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Re: meh

No-one preaches hatred as righteously as a liberal.

I personally believe Zuckerberg is a whack jab and I refuse to use Facebook.

What I wouldn't do is cherry pick paragraphs of a 6,000 word article so that I have 1% of everything the Man said, and then use that, completely out of whatever context the other 99% content of his paper, to assassinate his character.

It's not constructive in the slightest. It's just a rant about someone. If this was in a comment section on any forum it will be removed for being abusive.

This article doesn't make me hate Zuckerberg, it makes me want to hate the author. Someone please tell him that pointing out the flaws in this way does not make him morally superior, it makes him a prick. No doubt they'll be screaming blue murder how offended they are I called them a prick. But hey. When in Rome.

Scroll to the top of the page, see that Facebook logo, it's on every single Register article.

There's a word for it.

(And you wouldn't believe how many people are unsure of the true meaning of this word)

Hypocrite.

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Facepalm

Re: meh

Humans are hard wired to be status-seeking little monkeys, and a system that lets them believe that they have oodles of friends who hang upon their every word is always going to sell on the basis of self-delusion.

So.. What does this say for the silver badge I am oh-so-close to getting (yet still so far away!)?? I thought you all loved me so much!

But overall.. Have an upvote...

(---> /me crying in anguish...)

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Re: meh

I can't wait for Zuckerbergs first actual miracle...up his own arsehole on a Live Facebook videostream.

Still won't make farttalk worth visiting1

(cue cries of "but millions of others do!)

1 'k so I've gone there a few dozen times to look for someone or look at something someone has really really really begged me to who I haven't felt like telling them to go and do an impression of Zuck disappearing up his own.... I have no idea how many now, but thanks to 10minutemail a significant number of the claimed trillions of "user accounts" are throwaway ones I made for the moment I was there)

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LDS
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Wasn't he the man....

... who offered Facebook ads to people hit by an earthquake? And even had some press help him brag about how many $ of ads he graciously offered?

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Re: Wasn't he the man....

Well, he could sit in his Malibu mansion and count his wads of money. Or he can make a comment which might just make some sort of difference. Even if it just makes some people think.

I'm no Z apologist - I loathe FB and despise the imbeciles who willingly sign their lives over to it. But I don't as a kneejerk reaction despise people because of their wealth - despite the plethora of negativity about Bill Gates his philanthropy is indisputable. Maybe Z's trying to justify FB's position in the world - I don't care, as long as his voice is on the right side.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Wasn't he the man....

"I don't care, as long as his voice is on the right side." ... of the mirror.

In my opinion, this wasn't a acid trip. It was more like one of those weird highs you get from pot. Acid trips on keyboardddds get get get a a littllle ssshakay, youoy thnk youare typingg finne,,'',, bbtutt yourrruae knnot.

If he was on acid and that "piece" of writing was imaginative to him, then he needs more acid (or there's just no hope for his imagination).

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Re: Wasn't he the man....

"But I don't as a kneejerk reaction despise people because of their wealth"

Carnegie set up libraries. He didn't think he had the answers to the world's problems but he thought giving the widest number of people access to education would help.

I admire Carnegie for his practicality. I now for the first time understand why Facebook - because, as an alpha narcissist who thinks everyone wants to know what he thinks, that would seem to Zuckerberg to be what everybody wants.

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Stop

Re: Wasn't he the man....

Its not his money that makes him a tool. Lets be honest he could have paid more than 15 million without breaking sweat and really put his money into something useful for refugees.

It is the fact he is a tool, that makes him a tool. This just speaks of marketing trying to make facebook something good in the world instead of a wifi chewing black hole of personal data in the name of the almighty dollar.

Anyone that speaks of freedoms and helping people turn out to vote, and ending up with Trump should really just shut up for a bit. Then again when Trump is in charge every other tool is massively over shadowed and can get away with writing this garbage.

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Re: Wasn't he the man....

The more I hear or learn about Zuck', the more he appears to be like David Miscavige.

There's even a passing resemblance (or maybe my eyes are going) if you swap tailored suits for tailored running gear.

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Re: Wasn't he the man...

"I loathe FB and despise the imbeciles who willingly sign their lives over to it. But I don't as a kneejerk reaction despise people because of their wealth"

So you don't hate rich people, but you do hate people create an account on a website???

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Wasn't he the man...

So you don't hate rich people, but you do hate people create an account on a website???

Explain to me why I should hate rich people. A brother-in-law of mine earns more than I do, should I hate him now? Some of our customers have more money that I know I will ever make in my life - does that mean I should automatically snarl at them every time they spend some of that on our products? Should I hate their kids too? And at what age?

I don't care how rich or poor people are - it's what they do that counts.

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Re: you asked....Ledswinger's Guide to Hating the Rich

Explain to me why I should hate rich people.

Because they're rich, and the vast majority of rich people haven't got their doing anything socially useful, they've just come up with a scheme that extracts money from the masses, and then keeps a good chunk of it in their own hands. And more important still, straightforward bile-fuelled envy.

A brother-in-law of mine earns more than I do, should I hate him now?

Yes. But note that if you overtake him then you will have to stop hating him, whilst he'll need to hate you. This is the proper social order, y'see.

Some of our customers have more money that I know I will ever make in my life - does that mean I should automatically snarl at them every time they spend some of that on our products?

Nobody said that. But you do have to hate them in your head and in your heart, spit in their food unseen if you get the chance, or sabotage the product they're buying. FFS they could be Philip Green, Beardy Branson, Smugface Blair. WTF don't you already hate them?

Should I hate their kids too?

Yes. Rich kids are universally more revolting and hateable than their parents.

And at what age?

Birth to death, unless they either get disinherited with nothing, or inherit and then squander or drink it all away. When they're poor its OK to reconsider.

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Stop

Re: Wasn't he the man....

The more I hear or learn about Zuck', the more he appears to be like David Miscavige.

I don't think he has the actual malice that DM displays. I think the article does a good job of portraying just how totally out of touch Zuck is - he lives in a exceedly-comfortable bubble, insulated by his money and his position and generates infantile an un-nuanced drivel.

Maybe he needs to try to live on a minimum wage for a while. Or actually interact with people other than people paid to agree with him or other tech CEOs. Maybe he needs a bit of experience of life outside the ivy-league dorm room (or the amplified version called Facebook).

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Re: you asked....Ledswinger's Guide to Hating the Rich

Rich kids are universally more revolting and hateable than their parents.

This is almost universally true, actually.

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Re: Wasn't he the man....

"I admire Carnegie for his practicality."

Same here, but it's always worth remembering how he and so many other philanthropists accumulated their wealth. Few of the super rich philanthropists got there by being nice.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Wasn't he the man....

it's always worth remembering how he and so many other philanthropists accumulated their wealth

I wish I had more upvotes. Gates is a good example of that - this is the man that got knighted for his ability to legally milk the UK school system by first giving them cheap "education price" licenses and then jack the price up a year later (which was very predictable, but nobody listens to tech people until it's too late), and that's just ONE aspect of how he made money. He even used that philanthropy by making it in many countries conditional on using Microsoft, and the cancer he started is still at it.

So yes, I expect Zuck too to eventually go the philanthropy route to offset the damage he's done to social interaction, privacy and press. No doubt he too will hope to scrub the Net of all of that.

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Re: Wasn't he the man...

You completely missed the point of that comment. Let me clarify it for you.

"So you don't hate rich people, but you DO hate people who create an account on Facebook."

Now do you see the point? Whether or not rich people should be hated is NOT the issue. The issue is, why boast about how you despise people who use faceook? You appear to think this worthy of merit. And you seek to demonstrate your wisdom by contrasting this with how you don't hate rich people, as if there is any link, or the one balances the other. But both are equally irrational and unworthy, and categorise people in an arbitrary way. Despising everyone on facebook is just as ridiculous, and unpleasant, as hating every rich person.

Hope that clears things up for you.

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Personally I welcome any attempt by any major world figure (does he not qualify, despite his relative youth?) to improve the world, even if it's only talking and offering ideas. Unfortunately when the world's most powerful people are narcissistic sociopaths it's an uphill struggle, but that's only a reason to welcome any potential ideas, not ridicule them. Ridicule is easy; ideas and actions are hard.

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@Bloodbeatsterror - Narcissistic sociopaths have one major flaw - they believe they are always right even if the evidence says they are a complete idiot. Couple this with a refusal to actually learn anything from those whose lives they plan to screw up with imbecilic ideas and plans you have a recipe for disaster roaring through the affected lives. This extreme arrogance causes more harm especially when it is coupled with virtue signalling.

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He is not "offering ideas" and nothing in his delusional prose is of any use in the actual world.

Stop drinking the KoolAid - that is also part of the problem.

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I admire Bill Gates more, who put hard cash and thought towards realisable goals.

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Anonymous Coward

ideas and actions are hard.

And Zuckerberg offers neither. Wait: I guess trying to take people's property from them (Hawaii) to add to your estate is an action. Is that what he is driving at?

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"Ridicule is easy; ideas and actions are hard."

Well, if he ever comes up with any actually useful actions, we can reconsider. Until then, we will ridicule his lofty and dangerously naive rhetoric.

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Anonymous Coward

Our greatest challenge is ending capitalism, and putting the US globalist regime to the sword.

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Sorry, I can't resist it. I know I should. This is a glib and thoughtless soundbite with no rational thinking behind it. What's your proposal exactly?

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Anonymous Coward

This

Yep, without addressing the very thing that is based on the promotion of inequality and war, any talk like this is pointless. Capitalism poisons everything, politics and social relationships. FB is now integral to the perpetuation of this. Humanity is all the worse for it.

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Re: This

Not sure there's too much wrong with capitalism. The problem is that we actually don't have capitalism. We have oligarchs, monopolists and bought-and-paid-for politicians.

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Uh, no. Globalism does cause problems, and free enterprise left to itself does lead to inequality. But North Korea, Russia, and radical Islam are much worse things, against which we need a stronger United States to help protect us. Unfortunately, as far as Russia is concerned, under Trump the U.S. is opting out.

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Anonymous Coward

as Russia is concerned, under Trump the U.S. is opting out.

Ah. So that happened in less than one month under Trump but not the 8 years under Obama? Do the words Crimea, Ukraine, "More flexible" ring a bell?

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Bye Felicia

This is what happens to people that become wealthy later in life, as opposed to inheriting it. The critical difference in the two is when you're inheriting a large amount of wealth you're also inheriting the social connections that go with it, and this has a normalizing effect on your attitudes and beliefs. But when you are Zuckerberg, First Of His Name, you don't have that network... and you're not going to develop it for many years, assuming you even realize its importance.

Yes, I'm well aware that the man "invented" (gigglesnort) social networking, but as anyone can attest... Facebook is not real life. And if you don't get social development with real people, in the flesh, to help normalize your attitudes and behaviors, you're going to becoming increasingly disconnected and neurotic. This isn't even limited to humans: Separate any social animal from its pack or social grouping, and it'll quickly start exhibiting irrational, even self-destructive, behaviors. And while yes, humans do interact with each other nearly every day, it's the quality of that interaction that matters: Wading through a crowd of strangers or going to the bar isn't developing substantial relationships. If that sounds familiar, it should: It's become the norm for people to have hundreds, if not thousands, of Facebook "friends". Sociologists peg the number of substantial relationships a person can have as around 250. Facebook is the social equivalent of junk food... it's unhealthy in more than small doses. If you try to live on it for all your social interaction... I hope someone hands you a mirror so you can bend over and properly kiss your ass goodbye.

Zuckerberg has fallen into a very well-prepared trap of his own making, and this is the outcome of it. He'll continue to become more eccentric with increasingly warped ideas about how the world is, due to a lack of significant social interaction with his peers. It's happened many, many times to wealthy people. Look at people who win the lottery as just *one* example: Most of the time it ruins their life and within a few years they are *worse* off than before!

That said, I'm rather pleased with this outcome... the man was a Grade A USDA certified asshat before he started losing his marbles. His incompetence has led to LGBT, domestic violence victims, immigrants, and the list goes on, all getting booted off his site thanks to a broken "real name" policy enforced by an easily manipulated algorithm.... resulting in some people having to submit the same ID documents over and over again month over month. His incompetence led to the rise of "fake news" that spread virally and influenced many political campaigns. It's led to such things as advertisements for housing that can pre-select people based on race, gender, sexual orientation... basically anything that was illegal to do with a newspaper you can do on Facebook. Their "fix" for this problem was to add a dropdown on the form to categorize the advertisement. No human checks it. So it'll only block using those qualifiers if you specifically select the "housing" or "employment" options. Feel free to use miscellany instead.

Frankly, if the man fell into a volcano I would consider it his most significant contribution to society.

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Re: Bye Felicia

The two most-discussed concerns this past year were about diversity of viewpoints we see (filter bubbles) and accuracy of information (fake news).

One of the things as yet seemingly not noticed by FB is the number of fake ads that keep popping up. One that's prevalent at the moment is for Ray-Bans at $24. That can't be fake, can it? The URL says it *should* link to 'traralgonmarathon.org.au'. Needless to say, it doesn't. Another instance points at 'kincaidfurniture.com'

Others that seem to be rife are obituaries for 'celebrities'. Here are a couple from the last week or so:-

"Tom Jones, 76 Farewell to Tom Jones whose career spanned six decades..."

URL points at 'montecarlolive.com'

"It's Over For Hogan 'I can't believe it's actually gone' said Paul's wife..."

URL points to 'yourbasicchoice.com'

As I'm not heavily into Russian Roulette, I haven't bothered to click on these to find out where they go, but the little pop-up at the bottom of the screen when I mouse-over the 'ad', leads me to believe it ain't what it appears.

How about cleaning up your own act before changing the world, FarceBook?

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Re: Bye Felicia

> One of the things as yet seemingly not noticed by FB is the number of fake ads that keep popping up.

They notice. They just don't care.

> How about cleaning up your own act before changing the world, FarceBook?

Why? About a billion people are addicted to it. It's more successful than cigarettes. They only wish they could get Congress to give them a standing ovation for saying they "innovated" a fresh new way for people to slowly kill themselves through social disconnect.

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Re: Bye Felicia

tl;dr but

"Frankly, if the man fell into a volcano I would consider it his most significant contribution to society."

This.

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Re: Invented Social Networking?

He didn't. There are few earlier ones, starting maybe 1998.

He's certainly been the most successful. But successful != good.

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Re: Bye Felicia

They notice. They just don't care.

And they don't care because there are no *short-term* penalties for them not-caring. So, they might get sued if one of their ads is proven to have caused a malware infection on a computer. Even if they lose, they pay a bit of cash (barely a rounding error in todays cash-spigot), cry some crocodile tears and carry on as before.

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Re: Invented Social Networking?

But successful != good.

See Windows vs OS/2 in the 90's..

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Re: Bye Felicia

One of the things as yet seemingly not noticed by FB is the number of fake ads that keep popping up.

If you must use FacePlant, then install FB Purity ( http://www.fbpurity.com/ ), which will let you filter out 98% of the garbage.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Invented Social Networking?

Earlier than that. We call it Usenet and it predates Farcebook by 24 years:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Usenet

About the article; sooooo gooood! I like the spirit of Zuck's message, but the glaring over-reaching nature of it spoils that message when you couple it with what the business called FB actually does for a living.

You had me at, "What's that? A pinball machine?"

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Re: Bye Felicia

"when you're inheriting a large amount of wealth you're also inheriting the social connections that go with it, and this has a normalizing effect on your attitudes and beliefs."

Interesting statement. Normalise to what norms? Whatever you think of wealth, I think it would be difficult to argue that someone born into immense wealth does not have a distorted view of the world, and is likely to have attitudes and beliefs that reflect the unusual and highly privileged environment they live in. We can all think of examples of very rich people, born into that wealth, who seem, let's say, a bit unusual in their attitudes and beliefs.

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We salute you!

No, not Zuckerdork! A cretin from the SF area did forward me the full diatribe, to which I replied "TLDR" out of politeness. I would like to recommend the Reg staffer that actually had to suffer the full idiocy of the Zuckerdork be given a medal, or at least several days off to lie down in a dark room.

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Re: We salute you!

In that sense the timing has worked out well. Said staffer can do just that, in their own time over the weekend...

(one imagines that The Register's editor is of the old school, cigar never more than 12 inches from mouth, brusk with absolutely everyone, master of all they survey, generous as a clam and just can't wait to shout "Stop press". Which never happens because there aren't any, and instead organises stressful stories like this just before the weekend to save on staff sick time...).

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Anonymous Coward

Re: We salute you!

one imagines that The Register's editor is of the old school, cigar never more than 12 inches from mouth, brusk with absolutely everyone, master of all they survey, generous as a clam and just can't wait to shout "Stop press".

Ah, Lester, we miss you...

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Re: We salute you!

cigar never more than 12 inches from mouth,

You forgot the "magnum of cheap whisk(e)y in the desk-drawer.." bit.

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Re: We salute you!

I would like to recommend the Reg staffer that actually had to suffer the full idiocy of the Zuckerdork be given a medal, or at least several days off to lie down in a dark room.

Mr Bryant, I never thought this day would arrive but.. I wholeheartedly agree with your post, and am saddened that I only have one upvote to give!

El Reg, give that man (the staffer) a medal and some time off, and give that man (Mr Bryant) another upvote or few.

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