back to article US visitors must hand over Twitter, Facebook handles by law – newbie Rep starts ball rolling

A newbie congressman has floated his first ever US law bill – one that demands visitors to America hand over URLs to their social network accounts. House Rep Jim Banks (R-IN) says his proposed rules – dubbed the Visa Investigation and Social Media Act (VISA) of 2017 – require visa applicants to provide their social media …

Huh?

Before you go, create brand new, fake accounts, posting comments about your undying love for the USA, and everything American.

Then give the border guards those details.

Sounds like Mark Zuckerberg has come up with a way to boost the number of accounts being created.

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Devil

Re: Huh?

"create brand new, fake accounts"

yep. that's the weakness of doing these *kinds* of things. And "the bad guys" would have been doing that already.

What I think Customs and Border Patrol will be looking for, however, is your REACTION to the question. You'd have to be a convincing liar to get past them.

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Re: Huh?

Before you go, create brand new, fake accounts, posting comments about your undying love for the USA, and everything American.

What mean is "I don't have any".

Now what? Smart bunch these republicans.

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Re: Huh?

What mean is "I don't have any".

Now what?

The problem is never ever ever lie to them. Once they catch you in a lie, things get exponentially worse. So you can say you don't have any if you don't have any, but if you have one and say that you don't....

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Coat

Re: Huh?

Why go to the USA at all? That place is getting nuttier and more random for every year that passes.

Passing the border of the DDR during the peak of the cold war was a much more relaxed undertaking than meeting the USA security circus in 2015. With the DDR goons, one didn't have this feeling of "These people are *on* something. Reach for your handkerchief too quickly, drop an iPad with a loud noise, and thousands of rounds will instantly go off in ones general location clipping all the bystanders."

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Facepalm

Re: Huh?

"What mean is "I don't have any".

Now what? Smart bunch these republicans."

Now they say:

"I'm sorry sir/madam but you are not allowed into the US. By the way, you'll have to pay for your own flight home."

And then you have to explain to the kids why they don't get to go to Disneyland.

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Re: Huh?

No need to create new accounts, just sprinkle your existing one with comments about your admiration for the anti-terrorist efforts by the leader of the free world.

After all, we all know Americans don't understand sarcasm.

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Re: Huh?

Be careful, don't just write down "I don't have one". There are plenty of live accounts like:

https://twitter.com/no

https://twitter.com/notapplicable

https://twitter.com/idonthaveone

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Re: Huh?

All three are valid and may not be what you want to submit to the TSA.

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Re: Huh?

"I'm sorry sir/madam but you are not allowed into the US. By the way, you'll have to pay for your own flight home."

And then you have to explain to the kids why they don't get to go to Disneyland.

That's a nice tourist industry you have there, it would be a shame if anything were to happen to it.

All because they didn't get to see me calling out Mark Clattenburg for being a shit ref or Facebook for not enabling U2f unless you tie a phone to your account. No doubt I'm some sort of threat to the republic.

They're welcome to go search but I won't be telling them.

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Re: Huh?

"What I think Customs and Border Patrol will be looking for, however, is your REACTION to the question. You'd have to be a convincing liar to get past them."

And if you're a bona fide American, your reaction to the question will be "Zark off, you gestapo-wannabe".

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MCG

Re: Huh?

I don't think even Republicans would make possession of a Facebook account mandatory for US visitors :D

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Stop

Re: Huh?

Why go to the USA at all? That place is getting nuttier and more random for every year that passes.

Hell, I stopped going when they started finger printing people at the border. There are plenty of places to go that don't treat people like criminals being booked in to the cells.

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I don't have any

I don't have any social media accounts, unless the ability to comment on ElReg qualifies.

The bright spot is that any blockhead can propose any blockheaded legislation he pleases, and they do. Good Lord, they do.

But most of those proposal die an ignominious and obscure death, as will this one. We hope.

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Glad the translation will be supplied by me

Allahu akbar? Oh that just means "y'all have a nice day now"

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Joke

Re: Glad the translation will be supplied by me

Allahu akbar? Oh that just means "y'all have a nice day now"

I've had this really bad joke running around my head for a while.

"Aloha ak-bar, aloha akbar, it's time... to say... buh-byeeee! *BOOM*"

OK, that was bad. really bad. heh.

(is there an icon for *BAD JOKE ALERT* ???)

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JDC

Re: Glad the translation will be supplied by me

Actually, you're not far off. In Egypt you could certainly use it to mean "nice one", as in: "Just got a new job!" "Nice one! Allahu Akbar!" Nothing particularly sinister about that.

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Big Brother

Re: Glad the translation will be supplied by me

@bombasticbob

You have got to be on the watch list. Bomb in your name, allah's snack bar and boom in your comments!

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Re: Glad the translation will be supplied by me

Agree. No different to

"I got the job! Thank God!"

But stupid people don't know that.

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Re: Glad the translation will be supplied by me

It means a lot of things apart from "some atrocity is imminent". It can also be used in much the same way "we" use "fuck" - As a generic expletive meaning both good or bad things.

For example, when a westernized muslim drops her iPhone on the cement, she might say "Allahu akbar" with a "down"/"ironic" tone on the "akbar" bit.

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Big Brother

Re: Glad the translation will be supplied by me

Allahu akbar? Oh that just means "y'all have a nice day now"

Pretty much does. It is as casually used as "Howdy" and "G'day". It is simply that the public have been brainwashed into believing it is indicative of something far more sinister.

It has been such effective propaganda that false media reports these days of someone shouting "Allahu akbar" is enough to have most people blaming Muslims for whatever happened. Even when it turns out to be a Le Pen loving white extremist murdering Muslims in Quebec.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: Glad the translation will be supplied by me

it pretty much means "praise $deity" in a lot of contexts and is as harmless as "thank god I got to the station on time and caught my train". the media (and the xenophobes) have done a good job of taking it and making it into a trigger.

As a non-denominational Minister I actually use it on occasion - which must look weird as I'm a 115kgs, 1.85m tall, bearded, bald headed, tattooed white guy who usually rocks up to ceremonies on a Harley. This weekend I'm officiating an interfaith, same-sex (Sikh and Christian) service ... been an interesting experience working with these two to come up with the service and learning to pronounce some of the Sikh passages correctly!

The idea of devices being scanned is a little worrying for me as I have a number of religious texts on my iPad that I use for reference and while I hope my Ministerial credentials would at least cut me some slack the paranoid IT side of me that's my day job means that all that stuff lives in the cloud and I just disconnect from that before crossing the US border (have been doing that for some years now as I worked a lot in China for a while). My Facebook and Twitter however does include some anti-Idiocracy sentiment which may upset Trump supporters, so Anonymous it must be!

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Re: Glad the translation will be supplied by me

(is there an icon for *BAD JOKE ALERT* ???)

From the looks of your post, I'd say it's that little down-arrow with the number next to it :) (and no, I'm not one of the dv'ers :) )

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cd

This could turn into a nice side business for someone.

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Anonymous Coward

My username is...

'Anonymous Coward'

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Re: My username is...

Mr Coward, you clearly suffer from multiple personality disorder. Although some of your personalities have expressed their undying love for our president, others have called him a pussy grabbing loon and far worse. Your disparaging comments on the Department of Homeland Security were not welcome. Until it time for you to return home, will be staying at a Trump prison, which serves only the best luxury water at $5000 per glass. Now please hand over your online banking credentials my colleague, who will take out a loan in your name so you will be able to pay your bill promptly on your departure.

Please enjoy your stay in the US and return to us as soon as you can afford it.

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Re: My username is...

Mooching around again and found this, sorry.

http://www.snopes.com/obama-deported-more-people/

Not sorry BTW love winding up well, you know who you are.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: My username is...

Do they really think anyone's whose FB identity is "AchmedTheTerrorist" and posts anti-America propaganda will admit to that?

As has been suggested, they'll just create a fake id full of fluffy kitten pictures.

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Facepalm

Re: My username is...

No, no, no, Mr Border Patrol Officer Bubba, I am the Microsoft employed Anonymous Coward in charge of monitoring foreign owned tech publications, not the Communist Anonymous Coward inciting the use of anarchist open source! Please let me back in! Please check with my boss in Seattle!

What? No, no, no, I have nothing to do with our data centre in Ireland!

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Anonymous Coward

Re: My username is...

, they'll just create a fake id full of fluffy kitten pictures.

Thats what "They" want us to do, because then there is evidence of Deception. In my opinion, is downright retarded to believe that "They" do not already have full and complete records on-demand of every digital thing we touched in the past. Wonder why one must register first with these guys https://esta.cbp.dhs.gov/esta and pay with a personal credit card?

Once cheating is detected, then they can really put the screws on the idiot who tried this, not just the normal messing about with "civil asset forfeiture" and other stuff, that one would maybe expect in say Russia or Angola. One could become the next Boston Bomber.

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MCG

Re: My username is...

Nice one. We all suspected the Republicans were soft on terrorism.

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Why are they asking for FB handles - aren't these real names? I bet that privacy of these who have nothing to hide will be the only one compromised.

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Happy

Facebook Handle-

Allah's Snackbar. Best Hummus in the Middle East.

See how far that gets you...

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Re: Facebook Handle-

I'm waiting for Al's Kebabs to be confused with Islamist group Al-Shabaab, or for the lead singer of Procul Harum to be mistaken for for the leader of Boko Haram.

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So reality check?

How many of us have "fake" accounts or multiple accounts depending on the site? How many of us would acknowledge that we have social media accounts? And lastly, how many have a full-blown, comprehensive, truthful, social media account?

I think the Congressman has been out playing with the unicons again.

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Re: So reality check?

And what hell is unleashed upon those who answer, truthfully, that they have neither a Twitter, Facebook, nor any other social mediocrity account?

Legislation is not magic, and legislators are not wizards, though they may be wishfully so.

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Re: So reality check?

Why go that far? HR in any large company already doing social media screening for all candidates, so if you don't have a SM account you must be a fraud.

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Re: So reality check?

While I'd tell HR what my Facebook account is (given that they could find it themselves if they were half-way competent), I wouldn't give them a password or other access to it so they'd be stuck with the public posts. If they insist on more access then clearly it's not the sort of place I'd want to work and I'd tell them that as I got up to walk out.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So reality check?

Personally I'd tell them I don't have a facebook account. I use a fake name on facebook, good luck with them associating it with me. I only use facebook for a few special interest groups and have no desire to share my life history with the world at large. However, there are lots of people with the same real name as me on facebook, so I'd probably be guilty of something by name association.

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Re: So reality check?

I don't even have an account here.

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Re: So reality check?

I don't even have an account here.

(Attempts to parse, disppears in a puff of anti-logic)

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Anonymous Coward

Re: So reality check?

Had this come up in an interview for a security job (at a bank no less).

He couldn't understand the concept of not having a social media account. The penny only dropped when I told him the I frequently have in my possession documents that could be used to compromise the company I'm working for and that announcing what I did to the world+dog, who I'm doing it for at the moment, and just when I'm on holiday so you can come round and nick my laptop etc. would be a *really bad* idea.

Seriously, he was gobsmacked and had never even thought about it before.

Don't you just love it when total morons have any kind of say in your life :)

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This is what you get...

... When people not hindered by any factual knowledge get to propose new laws. Many man hours (and therefor money!) is spend over something which will only affect the illiterate and won't reveal those who who have a little more brain capacity than a peanut. Which I think this guy has.

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Black Helicopters

Re: This is what you get...

It is as much about power, control and compliance as it is about information gathering. You are either with us or against us, and if you can't demonstrate you are with us ...

The very fact people here are talking about lying, hiding accounts, using false names, complaining, indicates they know they aren't the people America wants. They know they aren't compliant, don't belong. It's working as intended.

Are you with us or against us?

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Coat

Re: This is what you get...

"Are you with us or against us?"

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

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Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Absolutely. What's a SIth?

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Happy

Re: Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

That big guy dressed in black holding a light saber just behind you, not a border guard as they haven't been issued with their light sabers as yet.

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Black Helicopters

>This is what you get...

when your party machine wants to keep the media occupied with something inconsequential.

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WTF?

The Wall

It seems to me that rather than build a physical wall, ostensibly to keep people out, they are doing everything they bloody well can to build a virtual one. I've always regarded America as a fscked up place full of nutjobs, but it's clear now that the loonies really are running the asylum. This bill may fall, but you can bet your ass/arse that just like the No.4, there will be another one along in a minute.

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Coat

Re: The Wall

... they are doing everything they bloody well can to build a virtual one.

Not only "they", it's "us" too. What do you think the real purpose behind the push for replacing analogue cash with clever digital money is?

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