back to article Is! Yahoo! dead?! Why! web! biz! will! rename! to! Altaba! – the! truth!

Marissa Mayer, the CEO of perennial drain-circler Yahoo!, will step down from its board of directors, along with five other members, after Verizon finishes gobbling up most of the internet portal. And once the acquisition is over, the remaining carcass of Yahoo! will change its name to Altaba Inc. In an SEC filing today, …

  1. Florida1920 Silver badge

    $55 million for failing

    There is no justice.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: $55 million for failing

      But has she failed?

      Share price 5 years ago was $15, now it's $44. Even from 1 year ago, it's risen from $30. From a share-holder's point of view, that's a success.

      1. GruntyMcPugh Silver badge

        Re: $55 million for failing

        Only if they sell now,... how many times have we seen an acquisition followed by a slump in value?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: $55 million for failing

          Absolutely, but canny share holders will know when to buy/sell and will drop their shares before that happens and make very nice profit.

          And that slump after an acquisition is often down to those canny share holders getting out while the price is high.

  2. Not Terry Wogan

    Let's hope...

    ... that Mayer's $55m golden parachute is generously studded with lead as well as rubies and emeralds.

    1. Sam Therapy

      Re: Let's hope...

      Nah, Plutonium would be much, much better. :D

    2. LDS Silver badge

      Re: Let's hope...

      Ehmm, gold specific weight is larger than lead... it's just like Scrooge McDuck this kind of people learnt how to dive and swim into it...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Let's hope...

        And that can only lead to :

        https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqqfGXrX__8

    3. phuzz Silver badge
      Boffin

      Re: Let's hope...

      Mythbusters showed that you can make a balloon out of lead, so I think it should be possible to do the same with gold.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Let's hope...

        Gold alloy, maybe. Pure gold I think is even softer than lead so would be tricky to maintain its shape.

  3. Barry Rueger Silver badge

    JCEYUIJOKVBYHUJIOK.com

    Yet again a tech firm grabs a handful of tiles out of the Scrabble bag, slams them down, and says, "That's our new name!"

    1. Jan 0
      Coffee/keyboard

      Re: JCEYUIJOKVBYHUJIOK.com

      It could be simpler than that. I think they just glanced at a minion's keyboard and read Alt-Tab-A.

      1. frank ly Silver badge

        Re: JCEYUIJOKVBYHUJIOK.com

        Alt-Tab switches between open applications and Alt-A selects all text. I know because I just tried them. It could be something subtle and significant.

      2. LDS Silver badge

        Re: JCEYUIJOKVBYHUJIOK.com

        I would have suggested "mastaba". After all, what remains is a tomb filled with Alibaba gold...

        1. LesB

          Re: JCEYUIJOKVBYHUJIOK.com

          Quick! Somebody register the .TE TLD! (Assuming we're going for funky spelling domain names, that is)

      3. Doctor Huh?

        Re: JCEYUIJOKVBYHUJIOK.com

        Alt-Tab-A -- So... not Mac users, then?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: JCEYUIJOKVBYHUJIOK.com

      I yearn for the days of goofy sounding names.

      The new trend is to pick a generic English word. This is enabled by the explosion of generic domain names. This makes the company, group, or product IMPOSSIBLE to search for.

    3. Nonymous Crowd Nerd

      Re: JCEYUIJOKVBYHUJIOK.com

      I hope you Alt-tab guys have also noticed how these companies (quite by chance?) are all crowding to the beginning of the alphabet. Look, for instance at Alphabet. I'm guessing that private (expensive) research has shown that this has benefits. Think we should soon expect to see Aardvark, Aaron and AAA Taxis heading for NasDaq listings.

    4. Arachnoid
      Thumb Up

      Re: JCEYUIJOKVBYHUJIOK.com

      Yea but it takes someone with foresight like Google to grab the Alphabet

  4. Milton Silver badge

    In upside down world ...

    In upside down world, which begins somewhere around Board level, you actually get more rewards the worse you do your job. Thus, as others have pointed out, Mayer - who has been an epic serial bungler - will be rewarded beyond the dreams of avarice for her culpable stupidity. Nice work if you can get it, eh?

    1. Charles 9 Silver badge

      Re: In upside down world ...

      After all, how do you get a CEO to sign onto what's essentially a sinking ship? Businesspeople are savvy enough to demand guaranteed perks or they won't sign, and sinking ships can't exactly wait.

  5. bin

    Does Flickr have a future in this brave new world?

    It may not be the best photo site in the world, but it does stuff a lot better than others, so it would be a real shame to see it vanish down the plug-hole.

    I assume the new owners can carry on using it for data mining and ad-thrusting - but will they be prepared to provide 1TB free per user??

    1. imanidiot Silver badge

      Re: Does Flickr have a future in this brave new world?

      My advice: save your collection now, because it will probably disappear with barely a warning.

      1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

        Re: Does Flickr have a future in this brave new world?

        "My advice: save your collection now, because it will probably disappear with barely a warning."

        Applies to pretty well anything cloud-based. Even if it doesn't disappear entirely it might suddenly be truncated because you're using it too much.

        1. Mage Silver badge

          Re: Does Flickr have a future in this brave new world?

          Geocities, that was Yahoo and the cost to them was insignificant.

  6. Bob Vistakin
    Facepalm

    Never understand why advertising wasn't their focus

    It's not rocket science.

    Google today makes 90% of its profit from advertising. That's so much it can even afford experimental loss making toy projects, recently spun off as Alphabet, without breaking sweat. Why was, and is, it the only player in town? Yeah, some other big names like Microsoft and Yahoo (and err... ?) have some token competing ad platform, but that's all. These ad brokers pay website owners to show their ads, the website owners can chop and choose instantly with the click of a mouse, or even run automated software which swaps between them itself for different visitors. Real competition would be healthy and serve the industry better. And still very profitable, even when shared amongst them.

    Anyone every tried to create an ad publishing account with Yahoo? In the UK you can't. Full stop. For the last 10 years + you get the message "this service is not available in your region". #facepalm - this isn't even getting the basics right. For years now we've seen the reports of how Yahoo pissed away so many billions doing this, wasted it doing that, when all the while Google sits there owning the ad market quietly laughing at its antics. Their ad serving platform is only software. Microsoft too - what happened to "follow the money"? Was there something sinister going on in the early days stopping anyone but Google growing in this space? Today it must be impossible for anyone, even the top corporates, to get in due to their sheer market dominance, but it seemed the strategy of the others was to just pay lip service to it.

    I'm annoyed Yahoo is about to vanish - their throw away email accounts have severed me very well for years.

    1. Charles 9 Silver badge

      Re: Never understand why advertising wasn't their focus

      Because in advertising, there's only room for one at the top. Also-ran quickly get pressured and squeezed out unless they have alternate revenue streams like Microsoft and Bing. Yahoo was probably trying for those alternate streams, but it's already final table and Google already holds 90% of the chips.

      1. Bob Vistakin

        Re: Never understand why advertising wasn't their focus

        @Charles 9 - Yeah, and the thing I didn't bring up there was search - the ultimate source of traffic for most sites. Win there, and the rest will follow. Yet - Yahoo was founded way before Google. Better mousetraps I guess.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Never understand why advertising wasn't their focus

      Advertising not on Yahoo?

      That was it's biggest problem. It was full of banners, pop ups and stupid full page overlaps.

      It is one of the worst offenders out there, to the extent, that site is may be one of the reasons many people installed ad blockers.

      1. Bob Vistakin

        Re: Never understand why advertising wasn't their focus

        You are dead right, but missed my main point. Google shows no ads on its home page. I am talking about its real source of revenue - acting as a broker.

        1. LDS Silver badge

          Google shows no ads on its home page

          That was one of the "killing features" (especially in the days of slow connections) Yahoo (and MSN) never understood... they stubbornly believe people must to like all the useless (and mostly crappy) stuff on their home page. Which gives a good insight about the level of their executives...

          1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

            Re: Google shows no ads on its home page

            Hmmmm... plugins, browser bars, branded browsers, on-desktop crapware, "Portals" and the '"Microsoft" Network'.

            Yeah.

            Just thinking about it makes me lock and load.

    3. fandom Silver badge

      Re: Never understand why advertising wasn't their focus

      "Google sits there owning the ad market "

      It's Google and Facebook.

  7. Julian Bond

    Twitter

    Is there still time for Yahoo! to Buy! Twitter! before this deal goes down?

    1. LDS Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: Twitter

      It looks Trump will buy Twitter - how could he do without?

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

        Re: Twitter

        Probably cheaper to just set up a competitor.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Dear New Owners

    How to make Yahoo better.

    1. Remove the annoying bloody great adverts that make the page grind to a halt.

    2. Remove the scam adverts pretending to be news stories, you know the ones that say "See this amazing way to save money" or "10 top destinations in the world" and they are just ad's for PPI or show just more adverts.

    3. Get read of the trash news articles and show decent news articles. the whole world doesn't revolve around sleb big bruvver or Kardashians arse.

    4 Get you f**king security sorted

    5 Intergrate your platforms better.

    6. Bring back Geocities for the 21st century. Take on the the other biuld it yourself websites.

    7. Make Yahoo messenger less of a piece of bloatware crap...

    8. Make your email less painful to use (and sort your bloody spam filters out)

    I could go on for a very long time.

    1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge

      Re: Dear New Owners

      It's over.

    2. Hairy Spod

      Re: Dear New Owners

      and bring back the directory!

      There are probably less useful sites left than there were 10 years ago, make it easier for us to find whats left by subject rather than searching for a name that we dont know.

      All google searches ever bring up these days are links to forums, amazon, ebay and you tube

    3. Old Handle

      Re: Dear New Owners

      Good ideas except for more integration. That's the main reason I don't use most of Google's services.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Dear New Owners

      9, In Yahoo Groups make it possible again to do a content keyword search on all old postings.

      10. Make Flickr summary content fit neatly on predictable pages - rather than as continuously scrolling, bandwidth hogging, wall to wall pictures.

  9. Mr Dogshit Silver badge

    Marissa Mayer

    ... would

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: Marissa Mayer

      Once she is out of a job she'd have time for writing vampire stories, or enter politics - you'll never know, she might end up in DJT's cabinet! Either way, it's win-win all around for 'Murica!

  10. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    But..but..but Haven't comments on previous stories assumed that Verizon was buying the whole shooting match, Alibaba holding included and calculated the value of the rest as $4.8 billion - $Alibaba and come up with a negative figure? Now it transpires that it's that negative valued rest that Verizon are paying positive amounts for (assuming it doesn't all fall through).

  11. IGnatius T Foobar

    Ya who?

    Didn't they used to be a web site or something? Why does the phone company want that?

  12. Lutter

    Yahoo Finance API

    Wonder if the new owners will continue its operations.

  13. David Tallboys

    Think about the poor investment bankers

    If this deal doesn't happen.

    There will still be huge fees, but not as huge as if it does happen.

    Investment bankers are like scummy marriage brokers. A fee for the search, a fee for a marriage; and who cares if it's a disaster and there's a divorce, closing the deal is the only thing.

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