back to article The Life and Times of Lester Haines

"So what are going to say about him now that he’s gone? Are you going to say he was a good man? Will you be saying he was a happy man?...  Fuck no." Legendary Vulture Lester Haines Lester Haines: 1960-2016 Lester Haines was born in London in September 1960, and was the eldest of five: he had three brothers and a sister. …

Page:

  1. Bubba Von Braun

    Thanks for the memories

    John thanks for the obit, my dealings with Lester were on Lohan, and it doesn't surprise me his mischievous nature goes back to his earliest school years. Like some of us we never quite out grew that disdain for authority.

    It does go to show, the most precious thing we own is time, and Lester did so very well touching many in his journey..

    One day, maybe Lohan can slip the surly bonds of earth and slap Lester in the face. ;-)

    Bubba Von Braun

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      IT Angle

      Re: Thanks for the memories

      Reading back over a few select articles by Lester, I noticed from the comment sections that Lester never got a gold badge. Now I know that gold badges are conferred by El Reg, not earned by votes, but can I suggest that we all visit Lesters Last Post (pun INtended) and up vote it one last time until El Reg confers the coveted Gold Badge.

      1. Trevor_Pott Gold badge

        Re: Thanks for the memories

        Fantastic idea. Upvoted, and raised to the brass for consideration.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: Thanks for the memories

          "Fantastic idea. Upvoted, and raised to the brass for consideration."

          Yayyy!!! Gold badge appeared!!! At least I hope it's gold and not just highly polished "top brass". Thanks for passing that one up the ladder!

          1. Mark 85 Silver badge
            Pint

            Re: Thanks for the memories

            "Fantastic idea. Upvoted, and raised to the brass for consideration."

            Yayyy!!! Gold badge appeared!!! At least I hope it's gold and not just highly polished "top brass". Thanks for passing that one up the ladder!

            Well done, El Reg!! Have one on me.

      2. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

        Re: Thanks for the memories

        Ditto. I like the idea of a posthumous gold badge.

      3. magickmark
        Thumb Up

        Re: Thanks for the memories

        Upvoted, and El Reg should make him a gold badge anyway!!

        Come on guys do the right thing! If anyone deserves it, it's Lester!!

      4. Gert Leboski

        Re: Thanks for the memories

        Great idea. Done.

      5. Vic

        Re: Thanks for the memories

        can I suggest that we all visit Lesters Last Post (pun INtended) and up vote it one last time until El Reg confers the coveted Gold Badge.

        I've upvoted, but too late - Lester has a Gold Badge...

        Vic.

      6. Zane

        Re: Thanks for the memories

        Good idea. Done.

      7. Kiwi
        Thumb Up

        Re: Thanks for the memories

        Thanks - to John Brown, to El Reg, and to those whose votes helped. By the time I got here the Reg Badge of Goldage had been awarded.

      8. Dabooka Silver badge

        Re: Thanks for the memories

        Good idea, upvote added.

        I'd go one step further and create an annual award in his honor; I'm sure the regulars on here could think of something suitable that could warrant such annual recognition?

  2. Spasticus Autisticus
    Pint

    Manningtree - my neck of the woods! After 50+ years I'm nearly accepted here now :-)

    Action Outdoors!! Run by two friends of mine.

    I feel famous by association.

    RIP Lester

  3. Pen-y-gors Silver badge

    Greatly missed

    The world needs more like him.

  4. analyzer

    Awesome

    Just awesome

  5. Down not across

    The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long - and you have burned so very, very brightly, Lester.

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      And I'm sure his eyes have seen a thing or two that us people wouldn't believe as well.

      Godspeed, wherever you are.

      1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge
        Pint

        "And I'm sure his eyes have seen a thing or two that us people wouldn't believe as well."

        Yeah, like C(eiling) Beams in the local pub near Alpha Centauri's planning office no doubt :)

        The guy *is* a bit of a legend, I'm just surprised he wasn't more famous.

  6. Voyna i Mor Silver badge

    He probably empathised with the rather barbed nature of many Reg readers who have little time for pomposity or ignorance

    Surely not. I come here for the general tolerance and consideration for others.

    Lester Haines, Douglas Adams, Alan Turing*...ὃν οἱ θεοὶ φιλοῦσιν, ἀποθνῄσκει νέος.

    *Three people I happen particularly to have admired, that's all.

    1. Sir Runcible Spoon Silver badge

      Now now, this isn't the time to be bringing Orlowski into the conversation :P

    2. Vic
      Headmaster

      Surely not. I come here for the general tolerance and consideration for others

      ITYM "I come here for the general tolerance and consideration for those who warrant it"

      :-)

      Vic.

  7. Diginerd

    IT?

    I'll get me coat...

    Respect - you are sorely missed.

  8. TaabuTheCat

    2016 - Can it be over soon please?

    What a crap year with a lot of losses. You may not make the "celebrity" news Lester, but you were a star around here and will be missed.

    1. An ominous cow heard
      Pint

      Re: 2016 - Can it be over soon please?

      "What a crap year with a lot of losses."

      Absolutely.

      In all seriousness, can we please just try switching 2016 off and on again. It doesn't seem to be doing what it should have been doing, in so many different ways.

      Please raise a glass to Absent Friends, and in hope of a better 2017.

  9. Pet Peeve

    Lester was even cooler than I thought he was. Rest in peace, sir.

    1. Pascal Monett Silver badge
      Pint

      I subscribe to that view. I've always liked his articles, and I read Rockall at the time without even knowing he was behind it. Now that I do know, I'm just amazed at how life can be.

      A pint for you, Lester.

  10. fruitoftheloon
    Happy

    .sheds[!] a tear

    Cluck a duck, another good one has left the building earlier than one would have hoped....

  11. Gert Leboski
    IT Angle

    Thank you.

    Thank you Mr Oates and The Register. I think this piece was needed.

    Really appreciate the brutal honesty and I'm sure he would have too.

    I think I now see why I related to Lester's words so strongly.

    Thank you.

  12. Chris G Silver badge

    Thank you

    A fuller account of Lester's life and times, he was so much more than just a Reg reporter ( without wishing to demean the rest of you) I wish I had known him personally. You have to admire his drive a willingness to tackle anything that came up in front of him that he found interesting.

    I shall raise a glas of Rioca to his memory along with that of a friend of mine who died a year ago today.

  13. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Poorly worded writing in the article

    "Lester Haines was born the eldest of four brothers and a sister in London in September 1960."

    I hope he's up somewhere shouting down at that!

    In all seriousness though, he's sorely missed and this full obit was excellent reading . Is there a word for happy/sad at the same time? Lester would know.

    My claim to fame is that he once replied to one of my commentardisms in a complimentary way :-)

    1. Michael Thibault

      Re: Poorly worded writing in the article

      >Is there a word for happy/sad at the same time?

      If there isn't, there probably should be. Try this:

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERYY8GJ-i0I

  14. Egghead & Boffin

    Sorely missed

    That has to be the most honest, and therefore best, obituary that I have ever read. Thank you. I still miss his articles and LOHAN updates, they were guaranteed to brighten my day. I hope someone has taken over the mantle of trying to get LOHAN into space in honour of his memory. I still have the T-shirt from the kickstarter and wear it regulalry. Please could we have a project update, penned in a suitably 'Hainesian' style ?

  15. Pat Att

    What a guy. If only I could fit a quarter of this into my life.

  16. EJ
    IT Angle

    The saddest thing is to only discover the brilliance of people after they've passed. Thanks for the great read.

    *Where's the IT angle? in honor of Lester...

  17. Will Godfrey Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Thanks for this

    I always thought he was rather like an iceberg - but a hot one. Nine tenths below the surface but going like the clappers in all directions.

    Thanks for the confirmation.

  18. Neil Barnes Silver badge
    Pint

    The reminder we needed

    I knew him beyond the comments pages only once he roped me into the LOHAN project; he was kind enough not to sneer too much at my designs for high-altitude altimeter tests and we followed a few balloons up and down...

    And then there was the whole 'quid a day' thing. Triggered, I think, by his adventures in Darien, it was a cause that he really pushed - and persuaded me and a handful of others to join in, raising significant funds to the benefit of Malaria No More over the years. I trust that El Reg will be running the event when it returns next year, perhaps as Lester's memorial?

    Sadly I never met his family other than Matt and Katerina; several attempts to meet at his house in Spain came to naught on synchronisation errors. Aye well.

    ad astra tabernamque, Lester, and here's one from me.

    1. VeganVegan
      Pint

      Re: The reminder we needed

      Let me echo "Ad Astra Tabernamque".

      Aim high, and make sure you have a drink in hand.

    2. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge
      Pint

      Re: The reminder we needed

      Neil,

      Good point that man! We didn't do the quid-a-day nosh posse last year and so I think we should do a Lester memorial one in 2017.

      I guess we could call it the Lester Eat More to Give nosh posse? I should probably apologise for my awful pun, but stuff it. I like puns, and I'm sure he'd forgive me.

      Anyway I didn't get to partake fully in the last one, as I was so busy at the time that I actually bought my week's food on the way home from work on the first day. Hence I didn't have time to email in my menu/plan. I was pleased, doing the spreadsheet afterwards, that I spent £5.08. Not bad for budgeting in my head as I went along. Anyway I'd like to do it again properly, and this time no chickpeas!

      I always enjoyed Lester's articles, and I also found it particularly pleasing that he'd come and join the fun-and-games in the comments. Thus making the comments more fun, and adding to the games.

      Thanks to El Reg for the great article.

  19. Bill Fresher

    Really good obituary.Thanks el Reg.

  20. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Lester Young - Pres - was one of jazz's greatest tenor players, not a trumpeter.

  21. zanshin
    Pint

    A Great Read

    I was too late a comer to things El Reg to know all that Mr. Haines had worked on here. My thanks for sharing that and so much more about him, especially with so many contributing views. Learning all that he'd done and been was quite inspiring.

  22. DV Henkel-Wallace

    Thanks for the phenomenal obit

    I always read the pieces with his bylne -- his personality definitely came through. But I hadn't realized how wide his influence was. El Reg is definitely a different place without him.

  23. Mark 85 Silver badge
    Pint

    It wasn't until I read this that realized what a renaissance man Lester was. Suspected it from some of his articles.. but wow! Here's you Lester, you're missed sorely as the world needs more like you.

  24. Daniel B.
    Go

    The Man who put Playmobil in Space

    I wish he had been able to get LOHAN flying as well. His articles and projects will be sorely missed.

  25. Steve Aubrey
    Pint

    Thank you

    Thank you, El Reg, for this wonderful obit. I have been waiting for it - at the time of his demise it was promised, and now that promise has been fulfilled.

    Never met him, but I feel like I knew him (even before this) better than any of the celebrities who have gotten much press this year by shuffling off this mortal coil.

    I don't drink, but I understand the sentiment of a raised glass. Goodbye, Lester.

    1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Thank you

      "I don't drink, but I understand the sentiment of a raised glass. Goodbye, Lester."

      I shall have another one on your behalf (and anyone else who is teetotal!!!) from my "hewn from the living glass" LOHAN tankard.

      ad astra tabernamque

      1. Steve Aubrey

        Re: Thank you

        Mr. Brown, I admire your diligence.

      2. Neil Barnes Silver badge

        Re: Thank you

        Mr Brown, my own 'hewn from the living glass' LOHAN tankard is a thousand kilometres from me at present, so please be diligent on my behalf also!

  26. 9Rune5
    IT Angle

    Great obit for a great man

    I was a bit concerned when it did not show up earlier, but the effort put into this shows and I thought it was a great read. Thanks to all involved.

    Oh, and where is the IT angle?

  27. 404 Silver badge
    Pint

    Lester was a dick.

    There you go - my interactions with Lester in 2000 over a damn El Reg Vulture pin contest were venomous and it took John Lettice to smooth things over - but it IS a nice pin.

    That being said, that was a nice obit - quite a bit of information about Lester's life. Seems he led a pretty interesting life and got around quite a bit - which is how it should be, I think. I wonder what made him essentially say 'Fuck it'? Had to have been huge - that's not the guy I had a flame war with.

    In the end here though, I'm feeling my mortality - Cheers, Lester! You get to live forever in the Wayback Machine! You fuck!

    Dennis 'Yeehaw' before the fuckup, now '404' Price

Page:

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019