back to article Oi, you, no flirting, no touching in the back of our rides, sniffs Uber

Flirting with an Uber driver could be enough to get you banned from the ride sharing service, according to revised Community Guidelines for US passengers and drivers, published by the company on Thursday. In a blog post, Rachel Holt, Uber regional manager for the US and Canada, explains that the company is revising its rules …

  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Got it!

    "As our community guidelines make clear, you shouldn't touch or flirt with other people in the car"

    so... jerking off and spunking the inside of the car is okay? You didn't say anything about that. I'm pretty sure that's a green light for my nocturnal, interior, taxi decorations for the holiday season.

    Yep, it's a go for jackin' it in San Diego!

    *beep* *beep* they're on the way!

    *gets into jerk off sweatpants*

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Got it!

      I think you missed the major point, namely, that becoming a victim of sexual assault by an Uber driver will get you banned.

  2. hypernovasoftware

    Christmas! Not Xmas!

    1. Steven Roper

      The 'X' in Xmas is actually the Greek letter Chi, which was used universally by early Christians to symbolise Christ, rather than writing out his name out of respect. So writing it as 'Xmas' is actually more respectful to Jesus and has greater antiquity than the more modern 'Christmas'.

      So if it's a perceived removal of Christ from Christmas by writing Xmas you're getting your knickers in a knot over, you can chill, because it's just the opposite of what you think. Your precious belief system isn't being challenged by anyone here.

      1. Kiwi
        Thumb Up

        because it's just the opposite of what you think.

        It would depend on the motivation for writing "X". Early Christians may've used X out of respect (though I doubt many of them would've had anything to do with the pagan festival the catholics usurped, also and much more so out of respect for Jesus!), but some people use X to "deny the name of Christ" so to speak.

        But thanks for you post. I know someone who vehemently writes X because she passionately hates all things Christian (except when she wants me to fix her car or her latest computery screwup, in which case "helping poor orphans (she thinks her choice to not talk to her parents qualifies) is part of "Christian duty"). I am so looking forward to when I speak to her this weekend, and let her know that it's a sign of respect! In fact I think I'll just wait till I see her write it or hear her say it somewhere, and gently mention it.

        1. AndrueC Silver badge
          Meh

          Odd. I thought people used 'X' because they were abbreviating the name.

      2. david 12 Bronze badge

        Since I'm not actually an Early Greek, nor even an Early Christian, my belief that the expression "Xmax" is both lazy and politically correct, is not challenged by your interest in my underwear.

    2. MrDamage

      Get it right

      Saturnalia, not xmas.

      1. TitterYeNot
        Coat

        Re: Get it right

        "Saturnalia, not xmas"

        Yule, not Saturnalia...

    3. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Happy Hogswatch.

    4. kain preacher Silver badge

      Xmas predates the word Christmas. it evolved from Xtemass.

  3. Herby Silver badge

    Maybe Uber needs to have...

    A cab setup like the one in taxicab confessions. That way we can all see what is going on in the back seat. Of course it would "educational" for all involved.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Maybe Uber needs to have...

      They will as part of The Circle.

    2. ckm5

      Re: Maybe Uber needs to have...

      Well, knowing how Uber treats privacy, they probably already have that for internal use....

      http://www.whosdrivingyou.org/blog/ubers-deleted-rides-of-glory-blog-post

  4. Youngone Silver badge

    Whatever

    Where I live, there is already an over supply of taxis, so Uber can make all the rules they want.

    According to this they don't have much of a future anyway. The barriers to entry are pretty low and they can't exist with competition.

  5. 2+2=5 Silver badge

    'Barter'

    A friend used to be a taxi driver, pre Uber and pre-webcam days. Often teenage girls would try to avoid paying the fare by 'bartering' a flash of the boobs. One girl who tried this was rebuffed so then 'raised her offer', semi-literally, by proceeding to raise her skirt, revealing no knickers.

    His response was: I get paid in money not muff.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 'Barter'

      A friend used to be a taxi driver, pre Uber and pre-webcam days. Often teenage girls would try to avoid paying the fare by 'bartering' a flash of the boobs. One girl who tried this was rebuffed so then 'raised her offer', semi-literally, by proceeding to raise her skirt, revealing no knickers.

      "Haven't you got anything smaller?"

      1. EastFinchleyite

        Re: 'Barter'

        "Haven't you got anything smaller?"

        and if it was a London taxi it would be followed by

        "sorry darlin' I don't go south of the river"

        fnaar fnaar!

      2. Lars Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: 'Barter'

        "Haven't you got anything smaller?". That is an "urban legend" you find in several countries for a long time, that again doesn't prove your friend did not invent and say it too, of course.

    2. Steven Roper

      Re: 'Barter'

      These days it would be your taxi driver friend that would be charged for perving or sexual harassment or something if a girl did this. I guess he's lucky he got out of the game before the SJWs took over the government.

      1. Kiwi
        Childcatcher

        Re: 'Barter'

        These days it would be your taxi driver friend that would be charged for perving

        Going by the downvotes you've received, they also have a presence here...

        1. William 3 Bronze badge

          Re: 'Barter'

          Naturally, SJW's are everywhere they can silence people from having a different opinion than them, all in the name of tolerance & diversity, naturally.

    3. CDD

      Re: 'Barter'

      Isn't that what Viz calls "paying with a hairy cheque"?

      1. paulf Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: 'Barter'

        @ CDD "Isn't that what Viz calls "paying with a hairy cheque"?"

        See also "Gash Card"

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    disruption

    Isn't this a perfect opportunity to set up a competitor.... "do all the hanky panky you like in our cars"...

    Ok, it would be smothered in law suits pretty quick, but its a nice thought, no?

    1. Marc 25

      Re: disruption

      Ok, it would be smothered in law suits pretty quick"

      Thats not ALL the cars would be smothered in!

    2. Kiwi
      Coat

      Re: disruption

      Ok, it would be smothered in law suits pretty quick, but its a nice thought, no?

      To help pay for those, they could set up pay-per-perv streaming as well...

    3. Arthur the cat Silver badge

      Re: disruption

      The Foot and a Half (or thereabouts) High Club.

  7. big_D Silver badge
    Coat

    No Sex please, we are Uber

    Wasn't there a play about this in the 70s?

  8. Your alien overlord - fear me

    So if I'm taking the missus out for the night, I'm not allowed to flirt with her? That'll make for a great night out - not !!

    1. Dan Wilkie

      Sounds like a standard night out to me :\

  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Once cost me a night of carnal excitement

    Met a girl at a club in London, things went very well and we're all over each other so I suggest grabbing a taxi back to mine... cue 75 minutes in a cab (normally 15 minutes) with the delightful-but-quite-prudish Mohammed insisting that neither of us can sit in the middle and definitely no leaning over to kiss.

    By the time we got to mine, she was asleep and no longer in the mood for anything other than more sleep. Worst of all, it was surge fares so it cost a bloody fortune.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Once cost me a night of carnal excitement

      Meanwhile Cabby McMoPerv is getting off on cockblocking you, taking a 30 minute detour while silently spanking the goat under his djellaba while mumbling vague prayers.

      Being an Amsterdammer I'd have told him to stick it, respect my culture or bloody well eff off to Syria but I guess in the UK being a prude is what's expected...

  10. Moosh
    Paris Hilton

    What about flirting between people in an uber pool, is this also expressly forbidden?

  11. Michael Jennings

    If Uber in LA could institute a ban on drivers telling their passengers about "the screenplay I am working on", that would certainly be an improvement.

  12. Mike Moyle Silver badge

    Isn't Uber always going on about how they're a software company, not a taxi company?

    Making rules for what you can do in a hired car AFTER you've logged off their system...? THAT sounds like something a TAXI company would do.

    "If you don't play the game, you don't get to make the rules."

  13. EastFinchleyite

    More seriously

    .. than my previous contribution, surely Uber is trying to have its cake and eat it.

    The company has been making much play of its claims to be a booking facilitator rather than a full blown taxi company. It claims it just acts as a go between for the car drivers and their passengers. The car drivers are self employed (so Uber say) and the commercial relationship is between the passenger and the driver. If that is the case, what is Uber doing trying to impose restrictions and behaviour rules into a relationship which they claim they have no part of. Its up to the driver to set the rules (within the law of course) covering what goes on in the vehicle. Those laws are very likely to differ between the various countries where Uber operates. So how can they set a single set of rules that applies to people they don't employ using cars that the don't own and where they claim they are not part of the deal.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: More seriously

      TOS will do it, every single time.

  14. User McUser
    Facepalm

    Vomiting has also been cited as an infraction that may result in a ban now, but only under certain circumstances – specifically, excessive alcohol consumption.

    Yes indeed, if you're too drunk to stop yourself from vomiting then you clearly belong behind the wheel of your own vehicle, not safely in the back of an Uber.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If you have the propensity to drink to the point of unfitness to drive and vomiting risk then carrying some sick bags might be a good idea. Taxi drivers and users of public transport would appreciate it too, I'm sure.

  15. Lars Silver badge
    Happy

    For better or for worse

    I had a relative, a married man, who around 1860 used to take his girl(s) on a ride in a cab in those happy days when a horse was pulling and the driver sat outside on the roof. Curtains, lots of space and very cosy. Jumping in, he would tell the driver (driver?) to drive around the park. Then one unhappy day he had his wife with him and the driver asked him - "around the park", sir.

    What I do not know is if the driver asked it like "what, around the park" or more like "aye aye sir, around the park" or perhaps the twat knew it was his wife.

    For a more bloody personal experience as a customer with a nice girl. Ending up in front of the hotel asking for my key the guy took a step back and asked me alarmed what had happened. My hand was covered in blood, I know it was damp and happy but I did not expect the blood. Well It's Friday after all.

  16. Graham Marsden
    Coat

    There once was a Lady, Godiva...

    ... Who rode nude on a horse for a fiver.

    Her sister called Babs

    Did the same thing in cabs;

    Not on top, but inside with the driver!

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon

Biting the hand that feeds IT © 1998–2019