Die Hard VII: Sysadmin
Welcome again to On-Call, our Friday frolic through readers' memories of jobs gone bad. This week, meet “John” who once worked for a construction company that printed its payroll checks every Thursday afternoon. “If the cheques were not ready early on Friday morning, the superintendents were more than willing to give the …
"You see, money doesn't exist in the 24th Century"
What century is it now again? I'm sure the first* film started with "Long, long ago, in a galaxy far, far away..."
*For the record, I quite liked the fourth film, which came out recently. That was quite a loooong wait after Return of the Jedi for the next Star Wars movie. Changing the subject slightly, is there ever going to be a sequel to The Matrix?
AC you are in space ... just the wrong franchise - and now in it's full nerdness-
"The economics of the future is somewhat different. You see, money doesn't exist in the 24th century. The acquisition of wealth is no longer the driving force in our lives. We work to better ourselves and the rest of humanity." - Captain Jean-Luc Picard, First Contact
Off now to fix some stinking COW on a Friday!
> is there ever going to be a sequel to The Matrix?
Errm, I knew there was one, but a quick surf shows there are two. However, I'm sure you can guess why you've never heard of them:). How come you haven't come to dread the prospect of sequels, do you long for disappointment that badly?
Note: a well thought out series is not a set of sequels in the Hollywood sense.
I echo the 'whoosh', you're missing subtext.
There is only one Matrix film.
There is one Highlander film (two if you're being generous).
One Hobbit film
Six Batman films
Two Terminator films
Three X-Men films (maybe four)
Contentiously I recognise five Star Wars films..
"You see, money doesn't exist in the 24th Century"
Tsk tsk tsk. The push to go "cashless" isn't for the benefit of the consumer or seller. It's because cash transactions don't have middlemen between the seller & buyer taking a cut of the transaction. The push for a "cashless" society is driven by bankers & payment handlers wanting cuts of every transaction on the planet, and simply drives up the sellers costs & prices for the buyer.
Why do we never get to see the payroll clerks on Death Star
My lightsaber is tax deductible!
What do you mean you're going to have to put me on hold? I've already been forced to listen to the Imperical March for 25 minutes!
Can I speak to your supervisor... No, do not put me on hold... Hello! Hello?
Admiral, move the Deathstar to Alderaan.
No, I don't care if the rebel base is on Hoth, the tax office is on Alderaan!
According to the Call Girl Principle: the value of a service is always greater before it is received than after.
"John" should have let the company owner know that there was no way he could get those cheques printed by the next day with the infrastructure that he'd been provided with. And then gone and fixed it anyway. Same outcome but framed completely differently.
And the company owner might have given a lot more thought to avoid this sort of thing in the future, + provide some decent DR infrastructure rather than just "Meh, that's what I pay you for"
Do you mind a little advice? Starfleet captains are like children. They want everything right now and they want it their way. But the secret is to give them only what they need, not what they want.
Yeah, well, I told the Captain I'd have this analysis done in an hour.
How long will it really take?
Och, lad. You didn't tell him how long it would *really* take, did ya?
Well, of course I did.
Oh, laddie. You've got a lot to learn if you want people to think of you as a miracle worker.
That was, by far, my favorite episode of TNG. It's a shame Scotty didn't stick around on the Big E-D; not necessarily as a main cast member, but as someone you could occasionally see in Ten Forward, regaling people with tales of the old days.
You wouldn't even have to work at all to justify his presence on the Enterprise: he's an alumnus of the first two ships to bear the name! Besides, you can always call him a civilian expert on 100-year-old technology, and it's not as if running into Mirandas, D-7s, and other shit leftover from the Kirk years is rare.
Yeah, having the doors kicked down by power-tool-wielding mobs is no fun. Good save, and also what a great computer store! Rolling in and saying you want to test this suitcase of stuff does not sit well with most. Hope you bought them a beer as well (or pushed some business their way). Such places need to stay in business.
(I regularly buy stuff at my local bike shop, the owner has a very nice return policy and lets me borrow his tools. I mailorder a lot, but not all)
Nothing compared to the wrath of hundreds of parents at a school sports day honing in on you when their little darling miscounted their own points, or argued over a fraction of a second.
And you're the school IT guy who was given the job - by a friendly bursar who was rewarding you for a good week's work - of sitting out on a field, in the sun, under a veranda, with a free drink and a laptop and a box of USB stopwatches, the world's most complex event scoring system, dozens of simultaneous events with hundreds of children, and a years-old Excel spreadsheet with broken formulae written by a PE teacher.
Oh, and the overall results need to be announced in 5 minutes, and the other schools competing will ALL be emailed the results for their newsletters this afternoon, and you can be damn sure that your scoring will be scrutinised heavier than a ticking suitcase at an airport by those nice sportsman your teams just thrashed, and their mummies and daddies, and the result you give now under pressure is going to be used to award trophies, so it better match their week-long analysis of the same data perfectly.
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