Great stuff, that's really brightened up my Friday!
BOFH: There are no wrong answers, just wrong questions. Mmm, really wrong ones
"Look, all we want you to do is take this simple test which will tell us your personality type and the things you respond to," the Boss burbles. "Angry, and Free Beer!" the PFY chips, strolling into the conversation. "Oh good, I was hoping to catch you," the Boss says, turning to the PFY after a fruitless 10 minutes trying to …
COMMENTS
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Friday 30th September 2016 10:46 GMT Jason Bloomberg
2B) or not.
I took a personality test as part of an interview process. Once done and analysed the assessors came back in to discuss it. To break the ice and keep things friendly they opened with a humorous, "good news; you're not an axe murderer".
Chuckles all round, discussion ensued, and I was offered the job.
But it set me thinking. I am so tempted to take a small axe to interviews in the future so I can plonk that on the desk and ask, "are you sure about that?", if it ever happens again.
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Friday 30th September 2016 18:45 GMT TeeCee
Re: 2B) or not.
Worse still is where they have "types".
I went on a "team building" event once where, before attending, we all filled out the questionnaires. On arrival, when it came to me, the bloke presenting was made up. He'd never seen one of me before and followed me around like a small dog for the entire week, taking notes[1] all the time.
Apparently the "mad bastard who just sees the right answer"[2] trait is supposed to come as secondary with something other trait as dominant. He'd never seen it as dominant, let alone in purity, until then.
[1] And here the small dog analogy dies like the, er, dog it is.
[2] Best translation of their categories I can come up with.
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Wednesday 5th October 2016 12:42 GMT Chris King
Re: 2B) or not.
I went on a "team building" event once where, before attending, we all filled out the questionnaires. On arrival, when it came to me, the bloke presenting was made up. He'd never seen one of me before and followed me around like a small dog for the entire week, taking notes[1] all the time.
At least he didn't try to hump your leg. And anyway, you're doing it wrong if they're not backing away and looking for exits...
Three pages of replies, and nobody's even mentioned "Prisoner's Dilemma"/the "Red & Blue"/"Green & Blue" games - you know the ones, where everybody's supposed to work out that they get equally well rewarded if everyone votes like sheep for the most mediocre option - oh sorry, I meant everyone always votes for the option that appears to benefit all sides equally.
I was dragged into one game like that...
Instructor: Hmm, why have you voted like this in the later rounds ?
Me: Damage limitation. Our negotiator got the diplomatic equivalent of an atomic wedgie and lost us lots of points.
Instructor: You're not very trusting, are you ?
Me: Lady, I do IT security. I'm paid to think bad thoughts and try to make sure they never happen.
Instructor: Okaaaayyyy, I think I'll go and to talk to that team over there...
What did I learn from that day ?
(a) Certain colleagues have better "poker faces" than I ever imagined ;
(b) It's wrong to stereotype people, but it's perfectly acceptable to be put in one of sixteen MBTI "pigeonholes" by a consultant ;
(c) We should all be more like dolphins - of course, we did this around the time when several studies came out about dolphin behaviour... "So, should we go out and kill porpoises, and take bites out of human researchers when we're hungry ?" Don't even get me started on the sex life of dolphins, several journals suggest they're just as filthy as H. Sapiens when it comes to inserting tab "A" into slot "B".
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Friday 30th September 2016 21:50 GMT Alan W. Rateliff, II
Re: 2B) or not.
After working for a company for a couple of years and being promoted to a manager, I took a personality test which had been recently implemented for new hires. I failed. Yet, at this and another company which had a personality test as part of the hire process, I watched as several employees who passed were fired or in one case arrested for stealing from the store, as well as other "minor" policy infractions like showing up for work drunk, showing up hours late or not at all, non-physical (unprofessional dialogue, to say the least) altercations with customers, and general don't-give-a-shit attitudes.
Yeah, great tests, these; great test of upper-management or HR gullibility.
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Monday 3rd October 2016 08:20 GMT Long John Baldrick
Re: 2B) or not.
I was trying to rent an apt/flat years ago and the landlord call a dear friend of mine who had agreed to be a reference. He caught her in the middle of an experiment she was doing(using a fair amount radioactive iodine) and said "Well, he's not a serial killer". I still got the apt/flat.
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Wednesday 5th October 2016 00:33 GMT Anonymous Coward
Re: 2B) or not.
Back say 30 years ago, a friend got hold of one of the Scientology questionaires. He went through it & designed answers for it to give exactly the impression he wanted, then wandered around near their office until he was asked if he would care to come in for a free test...
He was carefully and politely shown out some time later, without them trying to get him to join up, having given responses that indicated, in his words, "the profile of an axe murderer having a bad day."
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Friday 30th September 2016 11:42 GMT adam payne
Re: El Reg - PLEASE!!!!
"I often blame technology for my own shortcomings. IT'S ONLY GOT STRONGLY AGREE!"
"I am frequently upset by questions I can't answer that might highlight my lack of competence Agree to Strongly agree - but STILL no disagree."
There was me thinking that working with one of these people was almost mandatory in any IT job.
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Friday 30th September 2016 11:26 GMT Blofeld's Cat
Ah...
This reminds me of the probably apocryphal story where someone was given a Rorschach test and responded with a sexual description for each inkblot.
At the end of the test the psychologist suggested he was obsessed by sex - to which the man replied:
"Me? You're the one with all the dirty pictures."
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Friday 30th September 2016 17:25 GMT Wensleydale Cheese
Re: Ah...
"Me? You're the one with all the dirty pictures."
That was done as comedy sketch.
Here's one version but I'm sure that someone more famous also did it.
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Friday 30th September 2016 11:39 GMT Chris King
One week, work asks me to fill an a "mini" MBTI test (which looked like it was ripped out of a magazine), the next they ask me if I'm storing hazardous chemicals in my office - the list included "organophosphate-based nerve agents (e.g. VX, Tabun, Sarin)".
Hmm, were they worried I was going to extract a terrible revenge for being made to sit through a "team-building" day or something ?
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