back to article UK copyright troll weeps, starts 20-week stretch in the cooler for beating up Uber driver

The owner of a firm involved in sending speculative invoices to suspected downloaders is in trouble of his own after being convicted of a brutal assault on an Uber driver outside an exclusive London members-only club. Robert Croucher, MD of consultancy Hatton & Berkeley, wept in the dock after being found guilty of pushing …

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  1. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

    oh come on, a slap on the wrist maybe, but fucking up his life over such a trivial matter is insane.

    1. smartypants

      Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

      Do they allow Internet in prison now?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

        someone will get the joke in a minute

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

          One person got it....will anyone else?

          1. Anonymous Coward
            Anonymous Coward

            Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

            Definitely got it. Well played.

          2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

            Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

            "One person got it....will anyone else?"

            Some of them never do.

            1. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

              I'm not sure "joke" is entirely the right word, but yes, I got the reference.

          3. This post has been deleted by its author

            1. Bloodbeastterror

              Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

              "Muslim N***** Uber Driver"

              WTF...? Unacceptable even if trying to be ironic. Unacceptable. Shame on you.

              1. Camilla Smythe

                Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

                WTF...? Unacceptable even if trying to be ironic. Unacceptable. Shame on you.

                You are quite right. It was a piss poor attempt to highlight the offenders lack of respect for others. Post withdrawn.

                1. Bloodbeastterror

                  Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

                  @Camilla

                  "Post withdrawn"

                  Have an upvote for honesty. :-)

        2. John Lilburne

          Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

          If the joke is meant to be referencing whines over copyright conviction then the law applies to all equally. The age ofg criminal responsibilty starts at age 10. Whether you are 20 or 40 you don't go kicking someone and you don't go ripping off some musician, photog, or film maker either.

          Being a director of some company is no excuse, and neither is Aspergers, or Hipsterism.

          1. bombastic bob Silver badge
            Devil

            Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

            "Being a director of some company is no excuse, and neither is Aspergers, or Hipsterism."

            or AD[H]D? Or "the devil made me do it?"

            /me whips out a cane...

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

      He's an asshat, it should have been 20 months.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

      oh come on, a slap on the wrist maybe, but fucking up his life over such a trivial matter is insane.

      Yes, yes, I get it, thank you, but this gent physically assaulted someone for not bowing to "his grace the company owner", and for that said company owner will get some education in jail. There's IMHO only one thing worse than entitled pricks, and that's drunk entitled pricks.

      That said, he's at least consistent in his attitude: his company values include We never compromise whilst some may bend: for us compromise is unacceptable. Yes, quite. Moron.

      Thumbs up for Raffles staff wearing bodycams.

    4. PNGuinn
      Stop

      Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

      I beg to disagree. He could have easily killed or maimed that guy for life. (Brain / spinal cord damage anyone?)

      I reckon he got off light.

      1. Jamie Jones Silver badge

        Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

        Too bloody righ6 he got off lightly.

        As soon as you kick someone on the ground in the head, it's gone beyond a 'drunken brawl' into psychopathic potential murder. And from readeing the article, he would have continued if it wasn't for the door staf.

        Also:

        "This will destroy my life, I am the director of a company and everyone would lose their jobs. We have 1,000 clients, we have staff all around the country, and it would die," he protested before being sentenced, the Daily Telegraph reports.

        No, if it's true, then you destroyed the company, all by yourself. This shows a total lack of remorse, and taking resposibility for his actions. He's tring to make out he's the victim. Classic psychopathic traits.

    5. Joe Gurman

      Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

      Nice try at troll bait. I won't vote either up or down, since it was neither meant as a serious comment nor successful as comedy.

    6. Alfred

      Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

      I don't get it. Do you mean 20 wks old? Was there a typo in the original article?

    7. Rob Crawford

      Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

      Sorry I will ignore the reference (if you had any confidence in your humour you wouldn't have hidden anyway)

      He fucked his own life up

      Ever had to look after somebody who has only had a couple of kicks in the head, no I thought not.

      Land somebody on the ground then kick them in the head is a damn good reason for somebody to go to prison.

    8. Flywheel

      Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

      Do you expect random, aggressive people to come to your place of work and kick you in the head?

      No, thought not.

    9. sixit

      Re: 20 wks in prison! He's a kid for fucks sake!

      To plead mercy because you make money and should be exempt from the law is insane. To consider such a vicious attack "a trivial matter" is insane. What he got was indeed a slap on the wrist. The next time someone beats the crap out of you, I suggest you appeal to the judge to let your attacker off with a written warning if this bothers you.

  2. Adrian 4

    Couldn't happen to a nicer man. I hope his employees run off with his business.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      If those employees have been assisting in their reprehensible copyright shakedown I reckon it's a good thing that it folds instead. Scaring people without a whit of evidence - down they go.

      1. Robert Helpmann??
        Trollface

        Troll gets tossed under bridge

        This will destroy my life, I am the director of a company and everyone would lose their jobs. We have 1,000 clients, we have staff all around the country, and it would die.

        Good!

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Troll gets tossed under bridge

          This will destroy my life, I am the director of a company and everyone would lose their jobs. We have 1,000 clients, we have staff all around the country, and it would die.

          Good riddance to bad rubbish!

        2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

          Re: Troll gets tossed under bridge

          Perhaps another 20 weeks, just to make sure.

        3. BillDarblay
          Trollface

          Re: Troll gets tossed under bridge

          I hope Big Bubba takes a shine to his sorry ass.

        4. h4rm0ny

          Re: Troll gets tossed under bridge

          I suspect he rather over-estimates his importance to the day to day running of the company. I wouldn't be surprised if efficiency went up during his absence. Fewer demands for arbitrary statistics and updates. ;)

    2. bombastic bob Silver badge

      "I hope his employees run off with his business."

      actually, if it's truly one of those 'trolling' copyright "enforcers", better see it fade into pink-slips and bankruptcy

    3. Nolveys
      Mushroom

      I hope his employees run off with his business.

      I hope the business crashes and burns so spectacularly that they have to encase what remains of the building in a lead sarcophagus and declare the surrounding area an exclusion zone.

  3. Peter 26

    Sounds like a complete prick

    Love the judges last line "Get used to life being different."

    1. Mark 85

      Re: Sounds like a complete prick

      Considering his line of work, lack of any remorse and general attitude... yeah a prick, a bully, a weasel.

      1. a_yank_lurker

        Re: Sounds like a complete prick

        Nah, general purpose slime

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Sounds like a complete prick

      No, sounds like he did offline what he does online for a living. Just this time the law intervened.

      1. MrT

        Re: Sounds like a complete prick

        "This will destroy my life, I am the director of a company and everyone would lose their jobs. We have 1,000 clients, we have staff all around the country, and it would die." Robert Croucher, MD

        Sir, you are certainly a shining wit...

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Karma

    I only wish that defendants who plead for mercy on the grounds of "it will destroy my life" or "I own businesses and it will cause my employees to lose their jobs" would get a BIGGER sentence because of that instead of often a lighter one.

    Basically he was arguing that people on the bottom of society should get harsher punishment for committing the same crime he did because they have less to lose, which is the exact opposite of how it should be. What an utter twat!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Karma

      You do realise that he used up valuable shoe leather during the incident? Said leather doesn't grow on trees.

      1. LaeMing
        Flame

        Re: Karma

        He also clearly wasn't too worried about the company and its employees when he chose to start drunkenly kicking the Uber driver around.

        This individual's sole contribution to humanity will be the day he no longer continues consuming limited planetary resources.

      2. farnz
        Joke

        Re: Karma

        No, said shoe leather grows on cows.

        Ergo (by copyright troll logic, at least), if you're in favour of him going to jail, you're in favour of killing more cows. Moooo!

    2. Triggerfish

      Re: Karma

      I actual think it's worse than that, he is basically saying he is important enough that he can possibly injure someone for life, or even risk killing them. Kicking people in the head can lead to some pretty nasty permanent injuries. I agree the man is a twat.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Karma

        To sum up:

        Bob here makes a career ruining people's lives with speculative invoices, gets pissed up and risks ruining someone's life by repeatedly kicking them in the head and then whines that a custodial sentence will ruin his life.

        Not only is Bob's moral compass completely fucked up his irony meter seems pretty broken too.

      2. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Karma

        Sounds like his whole business model, really: Hitting people (making a demand for money) then kicking them when they're down (threatening legal action with the demand).

  5. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    From the linked Torygraph report: "The driver later had to go to hospital and was prescribed antibiotics for the pain."

    Either misguided prescribing or misguided reporting. I wonder which.

    1. Marshalltown

      Once

      ... I would have automatically assumed the reporter was the lkutz, but, these days...

      1. Adrian Midgley 1

        but these days you

        would be even more likely to be correct.

    2. Martin Summers Silver badge

      What an appropriate comment for your handle :-) I would expect nothing less.

    3. Fred Flintstone Gold badge

      From the linked Torygraph report: "The driver later had to go to hospital and was prescribed antibiotics for the pain."

      Maybe it's time to explain to this reporter why his painkillers don't seem to help? :)

      1. teebie

        "Maybe it's time to explain to this reporter why his painkillers don't seem to help? "

        And why he can't fit his bread int he toaster. And why his DVD player keeps melting the disks.

    4. Dan 55 Silver badge

      This is what happens when you lay off everyone and run the place with work experience kids.

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