back to article QANTAS' air safety spiel warns not to try finding lost phones

Your correspondent noted something odd during his flight to VMworld 2016 aboard Australian airline QANTAS: during the pre-flight safety briefing passengers were told to ask the crew for help if they lost their phones aboard the A380 and not, repeat not, to try to find it themselves. The Register asked QANTAS why it now makes …

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  1. Steve Foster
    Joke

    Well!

    That takes "you're holding it wrong" to a whole new level.

    1. Adam 1 Silver badge

      Re: Well!

      You're folding it wrong!

      Ah, my coat, thanks for that.

  2. Peter Prof Fox

    No need to panic... But PANIC FEELS BETTER

    I stubbed my toe once. Ouchhh. Where are the 'Don't stub your toe' signs?

    This incident was dealt with by calm, collected, professional staff in a completely unexpected situation. So that's a plus for the existing methods. But that's not good enough because we must have our worry-nerves always stretched (Something to do with don't forget the children or terrorism) so lets find the foliage of trivia that hides the real vampire-jumping-spider.

    1. Gene Cash Silver badge

      Re: No need to panic... But PANIC FEELS BETTER

      That's OK. This country went from landing on the Moon to "This bag is not a toy!" in only 40 years.

      I have to facepalm when I see serious articles saying "Musk is pushing SpaceX too hard" and crap like that.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: No need to panic... But PANIC FEELS BETTER

        That's OK. This country went from landing on the Moon to "This bag is not a toy!" in only 40 years.

        There are lot of compelling evidence suggesting the moon landing did not happen.

        1. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: No need to panic... But PANIC FEELS BETTER

          "There are lot of compelling evidence suggesting the moon landing did not happen."

          No, there isn't. Really.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: No need to panic... But PANIC FEELS BETTER

          "There are lot of compelling evidence suggesting the moon landing did not happen."

          And my children will happily attest to the fact that that bag is indeed a toy and is potentially more interesting than the original contents.

      2. Adam 1 Silver badge

        Re: No need to panic... But PANIC FEELS BETTER

        > This country went from landing on the Moon to "This bag is not a toy!" in only 40 years

        Maybe so, but this one time after shopping for what seemed like eternity for some new shoes, I got home and needed to have a bite. Thank God for that timely warning on those silica gel packs. Could've made me sick had I not noticed.

    2. abubasim

      Re: No need to panic... But PANIC FEELS BETTER

      With 'this incident', are you referring to your toe stubbing experience or the article?

    3. Adam 1 Silver badge

      Re: No need to panic... But PANIC FEELS BETTER

      > hides the real vampire-jumping-spider.

      Being an Australian airline, you can never be too cautious when it comes to Arachnids.

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

    Filmed from several angles with covert cameras of panicked passengers, this has to be the ultimate Youtube iPhone destruction video waiting to be made. 50m+ hits.

    Ryanair is always looking for new revenue angles and doesn't give a shit about its passengers*, a perfect match?

    *I've actually never had a bad Ryanair flight/experience, but said here for "stereotypical effect".

    1. Adam Jarvis

      Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

      James Corden's Carpool Karoke, burning iPhone destroys Range Rover? = Megahits!

      (You can decide James Corden's fate in this, depending on your own preference)

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

      Ryanair are pretty low down when it comes to customer satisfaction lists but even they are streets ahead of most US based carriers and the likes of Ryanair and Easyjet are wonderful when compared to some of the 'new' airlines in China. We complain about 30in seat pitches. Try squeezing a 6ft 6in bdy into a 26in seat pitch space when your thigh bone is 30in long.

      As for business class seats (US Carriers excepted) on airlines like Quantas, BA, Emirates etc. They have lots of electric motors that do indeed turn the seat into an almost flat bed. If you want a truly flat bed then you have to fly 1st class (ok so I got a free upgrade). BA even makes up your bed while you change into jimjams they provide.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

        Ryanair are pretty low down when it comes to customer satisfaction lists

        In my experience they score so low they have to add an extra piece of paper to still keep them on the list...

        1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

          Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

          In my experience they score so low they have to add an extra piece of paper

          You have not seen Wizzair. I suggest you introduce yourself to the lovely experience.

          1. Hollerithevo Silver badge

            Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

            Wizzair is, in my experience, pretty good, but one can always tell when staff are being exploited.

        2. breakfast
          Meh

          Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

          The real bastard is that then they charge you for the extra piece of paper.

      2. Velv Silver badge
        Headmaster

        Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

        "BA even makes up your bed while you change into jimjams they provide."

        Probably the most expensive jimjams you've ever bought.

      3. Hollerithevo Silver badge

        Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

        I no longer fly Ryanair when I heard how they treated their staff. Think zero hours and on-call combined. Thank goodness there are rules about flight rest periods or they would be flogged to death,

        1. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

          "I no longer fly Ryanair when I heard how they treated their staff."

          It's not just the in-air experience.

          A few years back a friend of mine arrived at Stansted airport after being delayed at Edinburgh for 4 hours.

          The flight arrived after the last train into london departed, so a lot of passengers wanted to claim for a taxi (passenger rights, etc etc) RyanAir's aitrport staff _hid_ from the passengers and wouldn't even come out when the airport manager called security to fetch them.

      4. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge
        Joke

        Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

        "in China. ...... Try squeezing a 6ft 6in bdy"

        Yes. But keep in mind: How Long is a Chinaman.

        (Answer: Yes, he is.)

      5. Brenda McViking

        Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

        On long haul business class, BA is fully lie flat. Emirates and Etihad are fully lie flat. Heck, even Air India does fully lie flat in biz. You don't need to fly first to get a fully flat bed - this has been the case for at least the last decade.

        And yes, a phone is all too easy to lose into one of those seats and will be crushed - these seats are designed to raise a 250lb truely "fat" cat exec sat in it from flat to bolt upright in 15 seconds, they'll happily crush anything in their mechanisms.

    3. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

      Ryanair and mechanised seats?

      Are you expecting Leprechauns to drive them? Or maybe a special slot machine where you put a euro for every 1 degree inclination? With demand driven pricing which decreases the granted angle if more than one customer is reclining?

      This is a business/first class long haul specific incident. The normal seats for the hoy polloy do not possess the relevant crushing mechanics.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: The ultimate iPhone destruction video waiting to be made?

      I've actually never had a bad Ryanair flight/experience

      I've had two that were sufficiently bad to explicitly bar the company in our internal travel booking system. Staff now need explicit approval to suffer Ryanair :)

  4. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Re-enactment needed

    Aircraft boneyard, Mojave, California.

    [popcorn]

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: Re-enactment needed

      Yes.

      "Aircraft boneyard, Mojave, California."

      No.

      Playmobil!

    2. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Re-enactment needed

      No 380es there. Yet.

      Though we can probably get this reenacted using a recent 330, 340, 747, 777 or 787 seat.

      1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

        Re: Re-enactment needed

        The BA A-321's[1] they use for places like Amman have electric Biz class seats so you can add them to the list.

        [1] inherited from the British midland purchase.

  5. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

    Anyway, back to the matter at hand:

    "Airline safety spiel prohibits finding lost phones" No, it doesn't. That's just clickbait, and by El Reg's standards (which from time to time regales us with sparks of true genius) pretty lame at that.

    How do you determine you've lost your phone? You check the obvious first: wrong pocket, wrong bag, wrong orifice? On the floor below your seat? Nicked by that obnoxious brat in the row behind you? If those checks all turn out negative, it might be possible the thing has wedged itself in some part of the plane, seat or otherwise. And I don't think there is any airline that is okay with passengers starting to dismantle parts of their aircraft's interior.

    PIC Your correspondent noted something odd during his flight to VMworld 2016 aboard Australian airline QANTAS: during the pre-flight safety briefing passengers were told to ask the crew for help if they lost their phones aboard the A380 and not, repeat not, to try to find it themselves.

    1. Simon Sharwood, Reg APAC Editor (Written by Reg staff)

      Look I wrote the headline so of course I am going to defend it. But I don't think it is egregious clickbait. The announcement said if you've lost your phone, ask the crew to find it. I could have over-egged it way more than that!

      1. DryBones
        Coat

        If it was Allegiant, there'd be a fee for that...

      2. CraPo

        http://www.huffingtonpost.com/bill-swadley/look-stop-saying-look_b_145336.html

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Everyone accuses everything of being clickbait nowadays (to the point people seem to use it to simply mean - headline), it's like taking everything too seriously. Standard internet practice.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Touched a nerve there didn't they?

      4. anothercynic Silver badge

        Come on Simon, it's stretching the truth just a little... :-)

        Don't MOVE your chair... At least Air France is clearer on that one.

      5. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        > I could have over-egged it way more than that!

        Don't say it. Prove it!

        Looking forward to your next article. :-)

  6. Pavlov's obedient mutt

    Air France has done this for ages

    Their safety video is charming and, well, French - or possibly that should be written charming *and* French... depending. Wait, I digress..

    For some time now - they have also requested the sardines do not attempt to disassemble the tin-can if an iPrecioussss is lost.. Guess now I know why

    1. Thesheep
      Flame

      Re: Air France has done this for ages

      Because a lithium-ion fire-free flight is simply chic.

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Air France has done this for ages

      > or possibly that should be written charming *and* French

      Charming despite being French?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    I noticed you never mentioned it in the article itself by name, but the burnt device in the photograph looks suspiciously like an iPhone (from the rounded corners--imitators aren't as fat).

    1. Lord Elpuss Silver badge

      Not that it's remotely relevant which phone it was as all phones will be equally explosive when abused in a seat folding mechanism, but I don't think this was an iPhone. Yes the top bar is certainly iPhone-esque, but what's left of the camera module is not rounded enough for an iDevice. My guess would be a Xiaomi Mi4.

      Any other guesses?

  8. Paul

    The problem with lithium fires is that regular fire extinguishers won't save you.

    Airlines need to start carrying the special fire extinguishers required, both in the cabin and the hold.

    1. AndyS

      The recommended action is to pour water (or other water-based liquid - fizzy or not) over it to cool it down and stop the fire spreading. Or better, to drop it in a bucket of water. If that is done, or a water-based extinguisher used, it would be fairly easy to contain the relatively small fire from a phone battery.

      I suspect it's not really possible to properly put out the fire before the energy is all released from the battery, which happens in a matter of seconds once it properly takes hold, so containing it is almost definitely the best course of action.

      1. Charles 9 Silver badge

        BZZZZT! You forget that we're talking Lithium. Lithium is a Group I element, an alkali metal: the same class of metals as sodium and potassium. One thing these alkali metals have in common is that they react very badly to water. Pour water on a lithium fire and run the risk of making it worse. That's why they had to develop Class D fire extinguishers for metal fires since they tend to introduce complications that make even certain dry chemical (for Class C electrical fires) risky.

        1. AndyS

          Oh look, downvotes for correct, if surprising, fact, because someone said something fancy with big words.

          There is not much lithium in a li-ion battery, and the small amount there is already on fire anyway. Water won't make it worse.

          Here is the official advice from the FAA. The logic, and it is sound, is that you can do nothing about the burning cell(s), but you can cool the surrounding ones, prevent the fire spreading, and extinguish any surrounding material which has caught fire.

          (1) Utilize a Halon, Halon replacement or water extinguisher to extinguish the fire and prevent its spread to additional flammable materials.

          (2) After extinguishing the fire, douse the device with water or other non-alcoholic liquids to cool the device and prevent additional battery cells from reaching thermal runaway.

          1. I ain't Spartacus Gold badge

            (2) After extinguishing the fire, douse the device with water or other non-alcoholic liquids to cool the device and prevent additional battery cells from reaching thermal runaway.

            (3) After dousing the device in non-alcoholic liquids - drink all available alcoholic liquids.

          2. Paul Hovnanian Silver badge
            Windows

            "(2) After extinguishing the fire, douse the device with water or other non-alcoholic liquids"

            Save the booze for the frayed nerves.

        2. CraPo

          https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vS6KA_Si-m8

        3. PNGuinn Silver badge
          Mushroom

          BZZZZT!

          In which case - spray it with some one shot drain cleaner.

          ( Conc H2SO4).

          For entertainment value, natch ...You're spraying it wrong ...

        4. Dafyd Colquhoun

          BZZT! Lithium ion is not Lithium metal, just as Sodium ions in salt are not dangerous like Sodium metal.

          The flammable aspect of a Li-ion battery is the organic electrolyte. Lots of heat from a short, especially when the separator is punctured, can set the organic goodness on fire. This is not a combustible metal fire.

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