The next time Salesforce goes down, you'll get six reasons why

Salesforce has gone down...

We're slightly sorry for your inconvenience. Here are six reasons why:

1. We sacked all our able developers and outsourced all our coding to cheap code sweatshops some years back so morale and general quality has plummeted. We did at least attempt to use the Salesforce HR 'bulk resource release' module to manage all of this, which is nice.

2. We spend far, far more on marketing and our management salaries than we do on development or QA.

3. We've stopped hiring technical people. We just hire into management and HR roles now.

4. We've severely slimmed down our test teams and no longer bother to keep test plans up-to-date. We have no automated testing at all, because that costs money. You have attempted an operation, although basic, that has not been tested at all for some years, if ever.

5. Instead of using careful design and implementation to grow our product, we've grafted any old tat on that we think someone will pay for, using the cheapest people imaginable.

6. You are using Salesforce. Fool!