back to article You think Donald Trump is insecure? Check out his online store

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has been widely and repeatedly mocked for being thin-skinned; something not helped by his compulsive need to insult anyone who criticizes him. But if you thought The Donald was insecure, just check out his online store at DonaldTrump.com. Despite being an alleged billionaire and …

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  1. Chika
    Coat

    But...

    ...he has promised to build a wall (and make the Mexicans pay for it!)

    1. cd

      Re: But...

      Everything he ever built someone else paid for.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: But...

        >Yuge security flaws, the best kind of security flaws, guaranteed incredible flaws

        Forgot the believe me at the end.

      2. Pascal Monett Silver badge

        Re: Everything he ever built someone else paid for.

        Everything he ever conned someone else into paying for.

        FTFY

      3. PassiveSmoking

        @cd

        Would you like some soothing cream? Because that was a burn

      4. Dabooka Silver badge

        Re: But...

        @CD

        'Everything he ever built someone else paid for.'

        and the Mexicans built for him.

    2. Phil O'Sophical Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: But...

      Ah, Trump. Making America grate again...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Ah, Trump. Making America grate again..

        I wasn't sure whether this was a Molesworth reference or just a pun. Then I realized I could upvote you either way.

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: But...

      I guess he was waiting for the Mexicans to pony up for the SSL cert.

    4. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: But...

      If we're talking about stuff Trump "made", I like the fact that his campaign gear has to state "100% Made in the USA".

      Guess you can't get away with having your clothes made in China and- hypocrisy of hypocrisies- Mexico now, can you?

  2. Big John Silver badge
    Unhappy

    Outrage

    Okay, I was willing to forgive a lot, but now Trump has gone too far! I'm switching my vote to Hillary. At least her online store is secure, if nothing else!

    1. NotBob

      Re: Outrage

      Plus, if someone wants to get your personal info from Hillary, 50/50 she'll "accidentally delete" it.

  3. Dadmin
    Thumb Up

    Where is the certificate?!?1?!

    Oops, I mean where are Trump's and his wife's birth certificates? I think one of them is one of those darn foreigner-types, and not the kind that like the band of the same name from the 1980s. I'm pretty sure the other one is too. How did they get in the country?! We must build a wall to protect us from Scotland and Russia, and then ourselves.

    HAHA! I make big joke, of course, comrade. Everyone knows his wife is part KGB, so no problem. No hackers are going to be visiting from United States of Russia. It is known.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Where is the certificate?!?1?!

      His wife is from FYR Slovenia, it's in the EU and NATO... and used to be part of Yugoslavia.

      Other Yugo-links:- Madeleine Albright. Her original name is Marie Jana Korbelova , from Prague, Czechoslovakia. She used to live for a while in Belgrade while it was still in Yugoslavia :D

      1. andreas koch

        @ac - Re: Where is the certificate?!?1?!

        ...

        Prague, former Czechoslovakia

        ...

        FTFY

  4. Ken Hagan Gold badge

    You realise this makes you a terrorist, Reg

    Does this mean there is a way of selectively targetting Trump supporters for wallet-emptying shenanigans?

    1. Big John Silver badge

      Re: You realise this makes you a terrorist, Reg

      Terrorist is a harsh word. Shame on you.

      Still, it is low-class of Trump not to have covered this point. He's a businessman!

      His Presidency will definitely be a work-in-progress. Fun times.

      1. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

        Re: You realise this makes you a terrorist, Reg

        If by some chance he gets elected, the only wall he'll build will be the one around the White House.

        Gotta keep the CIC Safe haven't they?

        After yet another foopah (about the dead Muslim Captain) IMHO, no Serving or Former member of the US Military should vote for him. All he cares about is how much money being President can make him.

        1. MiguelC Silver badge

          "Foopah"

          From the Urban Dictionary:

          Foopah: The really discusting [SIC] stomach-type thing you see fat people have that cover's they're whole entire groin area. Often referred to as front butt or front vagina. May also be referred to as Foop.

          Me thinks you may have meant "Faux pas"...

          1. Kane Silver badge
            Thumb Up

            Re: "Foopah"

            'Me thinks you may have meant "Faux pas"...'

            No, no, I think he's right on the money there.

          2. Kubla Cant Silver badge

            Re: "Foopah"

            I think you missed a few [sic]s: that cover's [sic] they're [sic] whole entire [sic] groin area.

          3. Huw D

            Re: "Foopah"

            c.f. "The Gunt"

        2. Big John Silver badge

          Re: You realise this makes you a terrorist, Reg

          "After yet another foopah (about the dead Muslim Captain)..."

          It's not about any dead Captain (much as the Dems want it to be), it's about his dad, who happens to be tied to the Clinton foundation and who directly benefits from rich Saudis paying him to get them into the US.

          That dad was trotted out to smear Trump in the convention hall, and now is begging to be allowed to fade back into obscurity. I guess the truth hurts a little too much? He should have considered that before libeling Don by calling him a "black soul" while being so politically vulnerable himself.

          This guy's background was easily searchable online, but no one on the Left felt the need to do so. Why should they, when their voters are so easily led by the nose?

      2. Captain Badmouth
        Happy

        Re: You realise this makes you a terrorist, Reg

        "Still, it is low-class of Trump not to have covered this point. He's a businessman!"

        Nonsense, security costs money.

        Haven't you learned anything reading these pages?

  5. robert lindsay
    FAIL

    This isnt a security flaw.

    Their is no security to begin with.

  6. Erik4872

    Classic Reg

    Whoever came up with the strapline for the article deserves kudos - I LOL'd. You even got the sentence fragments down pat.

    That said, this is further proof that political campaigns don't exactly employ the highest-caliber IT security geniuses on the planet. The Hillary e-mail server thing was just an "executive privilege" thing we see all the time in big-company IT, but what about all these email leaks from the DNC and others? I understand that exposing things to the Internet means they're likely to be exploited at some point, but I thought secure email was pretty much a solved problem these days. Unless of course, you use "12345" as your password...

    1. fidodogbreath Silver badge

      Re: Classic Reg

      political campaigns don't exactly employ the highest-caliber IT security geniuses on the planet

      The presidential campaign process has not put forth any high caliber personnel this year...candidates included.

  7. Fehu
    Mushroom

    Nothing on there worth stealing.

    Except maybe some pictures of his latest mail order bride, and you can download those for free.

    1. Big John Silver badge

      Re: Nothing on there worth stealing.

      At long last! A President that doesn't induce deep slumber!

      Sex! The Mob! Bad hair! Bring. It. ON.

      1. sabroni Silver badge
        Facepalm

        Re: A President that doesn't induce deep slumber!

        Even better, one that causes you to wake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat! Awesome! I love the fear of global war!!!!

      2. Chika

        Re: Nothing on there worth stealing.

        Oooooook!

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Nothing on there worth stealing.

      She is all of 46 and they got married 11 years ago after being an item for 7 years, not exactly standard mail-order bride. She was working as a model in Paris Milan and NYC for 3+ years before she met him.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Don't.... Don't You Want Trump?

        "She was working as a model in Paris Milan and NYC for 3+ years before she met him."

        Guess it beats working as a waitress in a cocktail bar (when he met her).

        Odd that Ivana Trump was a former model as well. Seems that every so often when his current wife gets too old, Trump likes to trade her in for a...

        (sunglasses)

        ...newer model.

        YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH!

    3. This post has been deleted by a moderator

      1. sabroni Silver badge

        Re: She better looking than Michelle Obama and Hilary Clinton

        She indeed better looking, that what look for in first lady! Likewise president should funny hair and constantly contradict themselves. No fun if policy consistent from day to day....

  8. Chewi
    Headmaster

    Not entirely true

    It only switches away from HTTPS if you click on a product link. The menu links work fine. This is because the product links have absolute URLs. A schoolboy error but easily fixed. They surely meant to use SSL as the certificate is valid and it's not a wildcard. Apart from the product links, I'd say the only thing they should have done is redirect to the SSL site by default. I hate Trump as much as the next guy but let's stick to the facts.

    On that note, if you want a real scoop, check the SSL Labs results. Clinton gets an A, Trump gets a C!

    1. Vincent Ballard
      FAIL

      Re: Not entirely true

      If you mean to use SSL, you should use HSTS.

      1. Chika

        Re: Not entirely true

        He Says Total Shite

  9. Youngone Silver badge

    I get it now

    So that's the reason for him standing.

    He's going to make billions selling tat to idiots.

    1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      That was the old plan

      Trump was profiting from the primaries by spending campaign money on Trump businesses. Trump's self funded campaign got money from (initially unsolicited) donations and from loans from Donald Trump. Right up to the nominating convention in Cleveland, Trump could have mostly repaid himself from contributions. Only when the Republican party was irreversibly committed to nominating Trump did he forgive the loans.

      The fun part is that Trump might have taken the plunge at the peak of his polling. Americans start taking an interest in their elections at different times. Some will wait for the debates, others waited for the conventions. Only the truly committed followed from the start of the primaries. During the primaries, each party feuds with itself. That is supposed to end at the convention which is used to heal the party's rifts and convince the supporters of the other candidates to accept the nominee.

      Trump made his commitment before the Democrat's convention started, and before the Republican convention finished. The polls would have included thoroughly disgruntled Bernie supporters and and Republicans who had not yet looked at who their candidate really is. The Democrats reduced their spending on Trump bashing adverts before the Republican convention. Perhaps they were afraid that if they worked too hard, Trump would not get nominated, and Trump was doing an excellent job of convincing Republicans to vote Hillary. Trump's convention highlighted and widened the divisions in his party, and convinced many senior Republicans to endorse Hillary. When the polling reflects that, Trump will be looking for someone to blame.

      1. Kiwi
        Trollface

        Re: That was the old plan

        When the polling reflects that, Trump will be looking for someone to blame.

        His parents would be a good place for him to start...

    2. sabroni Silver badge
      Happy

      Re: He's going to make billions selling tat to idiots.

      Works for Apple.......

      1. fruitoftheloon
        Happy

        @Sabroni: Re: He's going to make billions selling tat to idiots.

        Sabroni,

        I recently bought a MBP, does that make me an idiot?

        Ooi I think iphones are ludicrously overpriced, each to his own eh?

        Jay

        1. sabroni Silver badge

          Re: @Sabroni: I recently bought a MBP, does that make me an idiot?

          Dunno about making you an idiot, that depends why you bought it and what it cost you, but it sounds like you have difficulty spotting a joke.

          Enjoy your laptop!

          Sab

          1. fruitoftheloon
            Pint

            @Sab: Re: @Sabroni: I recently bought a MBP, does that make me an idiot?

            Sab,

            Apols for missing your joke (sleep deprivation...)

            We had a lenovo u330 & win 8.1 which was OK, i ran out of patience re the shite wi-fi, over a protracted 6 week 'repair' John Lewis couldn't get it sorted, so we received a 100% refund (not bad as by then it was out of the initial 1-year warranty).

            Having had enough of windows narking me off, we put the £600 refund towards the MBP, which now ironically runs win 7 via parallels (for VS).

            Hope that makes sense, btw have one on me.

            Cheers,

            Jay

            1. sabroni Silver badge
              Happy

              Re: @Sab: @Sabroni: I recently bought a MBP, does that make me an idiot?

              No woz! Sounds like a good purchase though I'm not sure what macs're like for Windows use (had to use a mac keyboard recently and it drove me to disruption!!) My boss at my old place used to swear by Macs in terms of them being robust machines so hopefully you'll get good use out of it!

              Good old John Lewis though! Full refund over a year after purchase is sweet!

  10. Mark 85 Silver badge

    Well, why not...

    He outsources almost everything overseas...maybe the website was outsourced there also.

  11. disgruntled yank Silver badge

    Trump-Pence dog coat.

    Dammit, now I'm going to be humming "I've got Trump-Pence, jolly, jolly Trump-Pence" for the rest of the afternoon.

    1. nijam Silver badge

      Re: Trump-Pence dog coat.

      Other trump-related words come to mind (we already all know the "I am fartacus"-related ones, of course).

      How about trumpanned to describe his supporters, an elision of trump and trepanned, for example? Is there scope for a competition here?

      1. Jame_s

        Re: Trump-Pence dog coat.

        due to his resemblance to a certain historical itallian leader, i am henceforth referring to the trumphole as "il douche"

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