back to article Trump? Terror? Turkey? Whoa, there's a Tentacool in that Bush...

If terror attacks, coups and the prospect of a Trump presidency aren’t enough to convince the end of days might just be at hand, a brief review of the weekend’s Pokemon Go related news should tip the balance. As the augmented reality monster hunting smartphone game rolled out across the real world, players were shot at and …

  1. Marvin O'Gravel Balloon Face

    Parallel Universe?

    Have we entered a weird parallel universe, and nobody else has noticed?

    1. Rich 11

      Re: Parallel Universe?

      I've certainly not noticed anything weird. Who are you again?

    2. Autonomous Cowherd

      Re: Parallel Universe?

      I think David Bowie may have been channelling and consuming the overspill of the surreality that occurs naturally in the world. We were already at a surreality-overload due to the passing of Terry Pratchett last year; a major consumer of background surreal. Unfortunately, as they have both left this mortal coil, we have been slowly drowning in a reality created by unfettered and unfocussed imagination that has been over fed on the aforementioned surrealness.

      Check the timeline, I think you'll find some striking parallels. I am praying for another psychedelic hippie revolution to act as an outlet, before things get really weird. Like, bad trip/Trump in control of America kind of weird. Because smartphone zombies are thankfully still at the surreal whimsy stage.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Parallel Universe?

        I think they, whoever they are, are preparing us for something. Zombies, alien invaders, Pokémon, something. Like we'll be living the X-Files.

      2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

        Re: Parallel Universe? / surreal overspill

        I think you may be on to something here...

        Maybe we (the El Reg commentards) could take turns at channelling and consuming the overspill of natural surreality? Say, five or ten minutes a day.

      3. Ashley_Pomeroy

        Re: Parallel Universe?

        This would explain why Prince seemed to just drop dead. He didn't die. He just left his body behind, so that he could find out what happened to Bowie.

        Periodically he calls for reinforcements.

      4. David 132 Silver badge
        Happy

        Re: Parallel Universe?

        before things get really weird

        Remember: "When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro". (RIP, HST)

    3. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

      Re: Parallel Universe?

      I thought I had escaped the parallel universe until Team rocket SpaceX ended their CRS9 launch video by finding a dragon.

      1. Mark 85

        Re: Parallel Universe?

        I thought I had escaped the parallel universe until Team rocket SpaceX ended their CRS9 launch video by finding a dragon.

        Thanks for posting that. Interesting stuff including nailing the landing.

        It's Monday... I guess El Reg is a bit hungover from the weekend and running behind.

    4. Mark 85

      Re: Parallel Universe?

      Well, there is the theory that once we understand things in our universe, a new one will replace it immediately. Maybe someone found the key understanding and before they could say anything.. it changed?

  2. b0llchit Silver badge
    Pirate

    Homo Mobilus Telephonensis

    Homo Mobilus Telephonensis is aspiring to collect Darwin Awards.

    Then they can, after the award ceremony, rebrand the use of pokemon go into "Pokemon Went".

  3. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Better than our 'leader of the opposition'

    At least Corbyn seems to be able to use a real cellphone app - better computer skills than the 'leader of the opposition' over the pond here, where she is not even adept at using email programs and laptops...

    1. You aint sin me, roit
      Black Helicopters

      Re: Better than our 'leader of the opposition'

      So who set up her email server in the building's basement?

      Secretary of State tells IT support guy "I'd like access to my emails at home".

      IT support guy thinks to himself: "Yeah, OK, easy enough, particularly if we don't bother with any encryption malarky."

      She was responsible for running foreign policy, not email servers!

  4. Alistair
    Coat

    The surreal part is that

    We live in a *fairly* alive, but relatively quiet neighbourhood in our chunk of the GTA. In the last two weeks we've acquired small herds of folks. Sometimes (parent) and herd of smalls, sometimes herd of teens, and oddly, most often herd of (20something) adults wandering about sight seeing.

    Fortunately, the *vast* majority of these herds are polite, well mannered and don't try to do stupid stuff, but I'm expecting that shortly we'll have a Darwin award cluster.

    I've just gotten used to the fact that we really didn't see that many folks outside that often (generally only the dog walkers) around here and now .... clusters all over wandering about. Reminds me of when I were a small.

    F.D. Every other body in this house is playing the damn game too. -- I'm just the hotspot.

    1. LesB

      Wait, what?

      You live in Grand Theft Auto?

    2. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

      Re: The surreal part is that

      "In the last two weeks we've acquired small herds of folks."

      That would be all we need here, with had herds of numpty cyclists ever since the Tour de France. My best home is that they'll collide and take each other out.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: The surreal part is that

        "In the last two weeks we've acquired small herds of folks."

        In the last 2 years we've acquired small herds of folks about North London too, they sit on corners making awful screeching rackets and shouting into their phones, reving the shit out of their mopeds whilst stationary....most have "Deliveroo" and on their shirts

  5. Florida1920
    Coat

    Geocaching

    That's what Pokey-whatever reminds me of. When I bought my first handheld GPSr for use when hiking, I did some geocache hunting to get familiar with its use. Bo-ring! Is anyone still doing geocaching? Pokey will likely go the same way.

    The one with the Garmin in the pocket.

    1. Old Handle
      Unhappy

      Re: Geocaching

      I stopped after geocaching.com become throughly commercialized, and none of the alternative sites really caught on. That took the fun out of it for me.

  6. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    News hype about negative side of Pokeman Go

    With the number of people playing it, the odds that some will be the victims of crime or accident are pretty good. Let's say the number playing it and the number of hours they were doing it were equal to the number of people cycling last weekend and the number of hours they were doing it. No one is going to write an article about how cyclists were getting robbed last weekend, and if one died from being hit by a car that's only newsworthy locally. The first person who dies from being hit by a car while playing Pokemon Go will no doubt make national if not international news.

    Sure, criminals targeted Pokemon Go players in a few cases, but that's not surprising - they will target those immersed in their phone and not paying attention, those using ATMs, those walking/jogging alone, etc. Pokemon Go is just another opportunity for a criminal to strike, not a new paradigm that enables new kinds of or new levels of crime.

    There was a high school student who died in my neck of the woods the weekend before last when he was hit by a car while walking with two friends on a road near the edge of town. The first reports said he and his friends were on their phones, so there was suspicion that Pokemon Go might be involved. Turns out they were playing a game called 'hostage'. I'm sure if they had been playing Pokemon it would have been on the nightly news in the US...

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manhunt_%28urban_game%29#Hostage

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    It's amazing what people will do to prevent positive change

    The whack jobs are out in full force attacking Trump because he is not a paid politician that can be bought. There are many entities who claim they would leave America if Trump is elected. That group includes Miley Cyrus and other loonies - so that's one plus point for Trump. Then we have all of the Mexican illegals who oppose Trump because he will deport them and build a wall between Mexico and the U.S. That two is a good step in the right direction as the U.S. like most countries has a formal procedure for immigration that all of the illegals have bypassed in violation of U.S. law. Just exporting the illegals from the U.S. would lowered the social services costs so significantly that TX, AZ and CA could get out of bankruptcy and or lower taxes that are currently required to pay for the illegals in the U.S. For the record over 75% of convicted criminals in prison in states bordering Mexico, are illegals and Mexican.

    Trump wants to create U.S. jobs instead of exporting them to China. Trump wants to rebuild America and undue some of the damage that the Obama administration has done to the U.S. Trump wants world leaders to take responsibility for their countries safety and world community decisions. The UK as an example is a haven for digital criminals and this must change as these crims are causing major social problems world wide. It's no surprise that many entities oppose Trump because he will not maintain the status quo and all of the failed or irrational U.S. policies that currently exist. Everyone on the government gravy train wants Hillary the criminal and liar to be elected in hopes of keeping all of the corruption in U.S. government alive and well.

    Personally I am not a fan of Trumps but he certainly has more credibility than Clinton who has a history of lying and getting U.S. military personnel killed. Hillary has a great sense of digital security and demonstrates this by using her personal e-mail for sensitive and official U.S. government business - in violation of U.S. law. She's a real peach and polished at lying out of both sides of her mouth. Trump knows how to run successful businesses which few in Congress or the White House ever have. Instead of talking out of both sides of his mouth Trump actually delivers proper results and that scares the corrupt and criminals to death. But hey you can always count on dope heads like Miley Cyrus or the Kardashian Bimbos for good insight on how to run a country. They demonstrate their worldly expertise almost weekly courtesy of the media. I hope Canada is ready for Cyrus to "enhance" Canada with her WizDumb on world affairs.

    1. Teiwaz

      Re: It's amazing what people will do to prevent positive change

      That's not very helpful, what kind of lure do you need to catch a trump, a clinton, a miley cyrus or a kardashion bimbo?

      1. Captain DaFt

        Re: It's amazing what people will do to prevent positive change

        "what kind of lure do you need to catch a trump, a clinton, a miley cyrus or a kardashion bimbo?"

        Media exposure and reams of cash have worked well in the past, and probably well into the future as well.

    2. Geoffrey W

      Re: It's amazing what people will do to prevent positive change

      RE: "Trump wants [to do lots of things]"

      Trump is going to bring water to California. Trump is going to end the threat of Daesh. Trump hasn't a clue how to deliver any of these things. Trump just says "I can't tell you right now" then makes some more promises. Trump is playing his fans like a trombone.

  8. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    IN THE FUTURE

    Instead of a boring General Election, couldn't the leaders of the political parties vie for control of the country by trying to get the highest score on Galaxians?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: IN THE FUTURE

      "Instead of a boring General Election, couldn't the leaders of the political parties vie for control of the country by trying to get the highest score on Galaxians?"

      How about a political X-Factor, Voice or America has Talent?

      Past presidents can be on the panel, blind auditions, speeches, who's the best liar...all count...oh and the tiebreaker is who has the most credibility

      Cant be any worse than the current US paid for by your employer to vote for our man voting system

    2. Captain DaFt

      Re: IN THE FUTURE

      "Instead of a boring General Election, couldn't the leaders of the political parties vie for control of the country by trying to get the highest score on Galaxians?"

      I'd still prefer if they were given clubs and locked in a pitch-dark room until one survived to be the winner.

      Then hold an election to determine whether or not to unlock the door and let the winner out.

    3. Alan Edwards

      Re: IN THE FUTURE

      > get the highest score on Galaxians?

      Hey, at least that would show they have some real-life skills, unlike most politicians :)

      I bet there's a Candy Crush ring in the House Of Commons.

  9. DanceMan

    GTA

    GTA = Greater Toronto Area

  10. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
    Joke

    If Trumps wig is lifted...

    ...will we find 666 tattooed on his scalp?

    1. andy gibson

      Re: If Trumps wig is lifted...

      Either that or "I owe you one brain. Love, God"

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Let us not forget

    that these erstwhile "young" people, playing a stupid childish game make up an exceedingly large contingent of the section of the populace that voted "remain" in the "brexit" election.

    Its good to know that MY future now doesn't rest in the hands these utter cretins.

    1. Geoffrey W

      Re: Let us not forget

      Oh boring mind that will not play

      But sits and fumes the days away

      (Me 2016)

    2. Captain DaFt

      Re: Let us not forget

      "Its good to know that MY future now doesn't rest in the hands these utter cretins."

      Let me help you a bit here.

      They should (check as applicable)

      []Do drugs, riot in the streets and chase 'Free Love'

      []Snort cocaine and dance in discos all night

      []Spend all their time on the couch watching telly

      []Hang out at shops harassing people and starting brawls

      []Play snooker/pool/darts and drink beer in pubs

      []Follow a cult

      During their free time, like I did back in the day.

      Made a Man out of me, it did! Youth these days, don't even know they're born.

  12. Androgynous Cow Herd

    @ the Trump Zealot AC

    Please try doing some research other than Faux News. Like most of the Trumpeteers, you are spouting facts easily refuted, and it makes you sound stupid and ill informed. Then again, you sound like your mind is made up, so you might want to start ironing that brown shirt for the big rally....

  13. Geoffrey W

    Not quite sure why there's all this derision for Pokemon GO players. I'm hearing vast amounts of scorn and derision from people who will happily sit in their bedrooms and dungeons playing for days, Doom, or GTA, or Witcher. People who play games have always been with us; Pokemon has just brought some of them blinking into the daylight, which must surely be the first step in their return to the real world. Hug em and tell em you love em and welcome them back to the world. [Now, wheres my joy stick...?]

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon