back to article I want to learn about gamification but all I see is same-ification

“You don’t know you’re born,” they would say to me during my first holiday job. “You don’t know you’re a sad, blubber-arsed freeloader coasting towards retirement,” I’d reply… in my head, of course. Out loud, I would complain that they were being unfair, and I would be slapped down with that most frustrating of clichés “Life’ …

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  1. Alister Silver badge
    Thumb Up

    Ivor Biggun was a legend, sadly unappreciated by the masses. Some of his lyrics stay with me to this day.

    1. MrT

      Ha! More Filth, Dirt Cheap - thenceforth any mention of Rhode Island Reds is like hitting rewind and play in my head on a n'th-generation tape copy that's so bad it's gone mono...

      And to think, they let him loose every week on That's Life under a different pseudo :-D

    2. Baldy50

      I thought it was Ivor Biggun and the red nosed burglars?

  2. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge
    Coffee/keyboard

    "Wales is, of course, so small that it could fit inside Wales."

    Thank you Dabbsy, that was exactly the pick me up I needed right now!

    Also, thank you for creating yet another metal sub-genre - I'll start using the term "Butt-Metal" from now on whenever I think it fits.

    Have a nice weekend anyway, everyone!

    1. John 104

      Also, thank you for creating yet another metal sub-genre - I'll start using the term "Butt-Metal" from now on whenever I think it fits

      Thats an old one, sorry.

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Steel Panther is firmly lodged in the Butt-Metal genre...

    2. Baldy50

      Lurv vissitting my arrnty in wales, therrres a farrrm on the way thaaat sels dubble yokkers and I lurv em so I do!

  3. m0rt Silver badge

    "So this is what gamification is all about? Doing the same old thing again and again but with better water particle effects, backed by $100m and determined by a roomful of blokes? No wonder I went off gaming."

    What you on about? There has been 12 versions of Call of Duty and they all had different story lines.

    http://bit.ly/28RkQ1I

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      What you on about? There has been 12 versions of Call of Duty and they all had different story lines.

      I don't give a flying toss about story lines. I want to pick up a joystick (remember those), blast some aliens, beat a high score and then go out. I don't want to have to use 600 different controls and endure 45 minute tutorial and 30 minutes of a lame story line.

      Ah the gold old days, when everything was amazing...

      1. m0rt Silver badge

        Jeez. Everyone's sarcasm detector is a little off today. Wonder why?

        1. Andy Tunnah

          Burnt out

          Everyone assumed the other side of Brexit they were voting for was an elaborate prank

      2. Mark 85 Silver badge

        Ah the gold old days, when everything was amazing...

        I guess it's time to dig out the CD's with Doom, Duke Nukem and Red Baron.

        1. Vincent Ballard
          Joke

          CDs? The rest of us were talking about the good old days.

          (On a side-note, we need a "Get off my lawn!" icon).

          1. This post has been deleted by its author

    2. ecofeco Silver badge

      I see 5 people did not detect the sarcasm.

      Needs more particles effect.

  4. Mr Dogshit Silver badge

    Does MTV still exist? I had no idea.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      My local barber has a large TV screen for waiting customers - and a small screen by every barber's chair. The global channel selection is either football - or MTV style continuous pop videos. It gives me a glimpse into the presumably popular entertainments of the young.

      1. m0rt Silver badge

        "It gives me a glimpse into the presumably popular entertainments of the young."

        Street corners and cheap cider when I were a lad...

        1. Darryl

          I thought MTV had given up on music and was concentrating on pregnant teenagers and teenage moms and teenagers trying to get pregnant and pregnant moms who are teenagers and...

          1. MiguelC Silver badge

            They have and they are, on the 'MTV' channel

            That's why there now also have MTV Music (sugary pop) and MTV Dance (sugary pop with extra bpms) channels... it's weird when Music Television needs to have extra channels where music actually exists.

        2. ChrisBedford

          Street corners and cheap cider when I were a lad...

          Aye well of course we 'ad it rough. We 'ad to get oop at 4 int' mornin', lick road clean wit tongue...

      2. Rob Gr

        "It gives me a glimpse into the presumably popular entertainments of the young."

        No it doesn't. I can guarantee that youngsters spend more time watching YouTube than MTV, by far.

        TV is pretty dull to that generation.

    2. ecofeco Silver badge

      Does MTV still exist?

      Yes... and no.

    3. Disk0
      Mushroom

      Mew Sick Television is old hat, we use the Internet to watch cats throwing up now...

      It's still the echo chamber of the music industry and likewise seems to be run by grumpy old gits who only care about the next tuppence in booster fees or whatever their bakshish is called. I can't recall them ever contributing to anything in the way of development in music except to promote sales of predestined material. And as long as I can remember the old gits refer to yoof as "the MTV generation" as if it's somehow what inspired us all to become the mediocre nuisances they project us to be.

      After watching Braindead I realised: it's all just an elaborate plot to get us to buy Cars singles and become host to alien Formicidea.

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge
        Coat

        Re: Mew Sick Television is old hat, we use the Internet to watch cats throwing up now...

        MTV wasn't an entire waste... they gave us Beavis and Butthead. Er... hmm... nevermind.

        1. Joefish
          Thumb Up

          Re: Mew Sick Television is old hat, we use the Internet to watch cats throwing up now...

          > MTV wasn't an entire waste... they gave us Beavis and Butthead.

          > Er... hmm... nevermind.

          'The Maxx', 'Drawn Together'...

          1. ChrisBedford

            Re: Mew Sick Television is old hat, we use the Internet to watch cats throwing up now...

            > MTV wasn't an entire waste... they gave us Beavis and Butthead.

            > Er... hmm... nevermind.

            'The Maxx', 'Drawn Together'...

            And who can forget "Pimp My Ride"... erm... well yeah, OK

  5. chivo243 Silver badge

    such as Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall

    no mention of Gary Glitter?

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: such as Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall

      John Peel was accused of impregnating a 15 year old girl in 1969.

      http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/tvandradio/bbc/9603959/John-Peel-got-15-year-old-pregnant-after-meeting-at-Black-Sabbath-concert-claims-woman.html

      1. Jonathan King

        Re: such as Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall

        And without Jonathan King there would have been no Genesis. Perhaps your prog rock Barrister had better concentrate on more serious matters - like scuppering the False Allegations Industry?

        Jonathan KIng

    2. Naughtyhorse

      Re: such as Jimmy Savile, Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall

      Missed a trick, could have dropped that name in the leeeeeeeeder

  6. Whitter
    Devil

    Manowar

    "If you're not into metal, you are not my friend"

    There was always a good slice of comedy in metal!

    1. chivo243 Silver badge

      Re: Manowar

      Like Gwar? Or the Bloody Stools?

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Huh?

    Gamification has nothing to do with games. It's about taking something inherently boring, and making it fun in a dopamine pathway / skinner box way.

    Say you wanted to encourage teh Yoof to post on El Reg. Well they're not just going to do it on their own because stringing emoji-less sentences is hard and boring. You need to reward them, so after 10 posts with at least 1 upvote each, you give them a bronze star archiement, and the screen explodes in confetti "WELL DONE, YOU'RE AWESOME!".

    Then you sell them 50 gems for £19.99

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Huh?

      Nailed it. And, I'll add, there's no money in it as a side job for the struggling indie game developer. When a prospective client talks about Gamification, it means they're untrustworthy morally bankrupt scumbags who are desperate for cash and clueless to the fact that Peak Gamification happened 5 years ago and the world's immune to it now.

      Plus, there's zero synergy. Gamedev is a tour de force of interesting programming challenges. Gamification is the worst of webdev, mobile apps, social surveillance, and cloud crapification.

      Anon because don't want to give clients any ideas.

      1. Disk0
        Trollface

        zero synergy

        is that like the new Men At Work

        1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

          Re: zero synergy

          ... good name for a band.

    2. Chris G Silver badge

      Re: Huh?

      @ massivelySerial, I gave you an upvote but you really deserve several plus a couple of beers.

      I came home hot, tired and ready for my nap but I laughed out loud at your comment and I'm ready for a beer or several myself.

      Talking of old git phrases, back in my yoof we had park keepers, Parkies in common parlance.

      They always had a stick with a nail in the end for picking up litter, however,if they caught us up to no good they would wave the stick at us and shout " Gercher cowsun!" "Gerrahtavit!" and then chase us.

      I get cowsun as obviously being disparaging about one's origins but I would like to know what Gercher derives from.

      Anyone?

      Bootnote: Putting penny bangers down the chimney of their hut (yes I am that old) usually produced much more colourful language.

      1. Wensleydale Cheese Silver badge

        Gercher

        "I would like to know what Gercher derives from"

        Probably short for something like "Get yer arse/ugly mug out of here", cf "Gotcha".

        also see Gercha! - "London Slang: a mild threat as if to say 'what a load of rubbish !' or 'get out of here !'."

    3. DaveNullstein

      Re: Huh?

      "Gamification has nothing to do with games. It's about taking something inherently boring, and making it fun in a dopamine pathway / skinner box way."

      This. It is on par with adding more nicotine to cigarettes. Or worse, adding nicotine to ice cream. IT IS EVIL... for the most part.

      1. Destroy All Monsters Silver badge
        Paris Hilton

        Re: Huh?

        This. It is on par with adding more nicotine to cigarettes. Or worse, adding nicotine to ice cream. IT IS EVIL... for the most part.

        How is killing the boring and getting people to actually want to do something bad?

        Unless you are an irredentist Marxist-Leninist who needs to rip the ugly façade of hidden oppression and exploitation off everything and generally is an unfunny guy who bemoans austerity even as your representative just got a 20% payrise?

    4. ecofeco Silver badge

      Re: Huh?

      >Then you sell them 50 gems for £19.99

      A serious cold wind of ennui just blew though me when I read this.

    5. Tom 64
      Pint

      Re: Huh?

      Well said.

      I happen to work in a Japanese games studio and:

      1) There are plenty of talented women in the industry here

      2) They aren't completely unaware of the world (at least anymore), and hey they employ immigrants like me

      3) There is a lot of hard work and original ideas that go into games (at least in the studio's I've been involved with)

      Still have a pint for making me giggle about wales ;)

  8. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

    > Then you sell them 50 gems for £19.99

    So - how *do* you win at El Reg? Spamming^WAsking all your friends to join your Clan^Wnetwork?

    Awkward for some of us. It would seem to require friends that do IT. Or friends..

    1. A. Coatsworth
      Coat

      Ask Eadon.

      He won so hard he was whisked away to a different plane.

      1. rmason Silver badge

        Ah Eadon,

        He did indeed win, rumours he was banned are false. He simply ascended.

        1. Rich 11 Silver badge

          He'd transcended before he even got here. After that he just condescended.

      2. Chris King Silver badge

        "Ask Eadon. He won so hard he was whisked away to a different plane".

        Nah, the mother ship returned for him and beamed him up.

  9. Terry 6 Silver badge

    Repetitious

    I don't think we can just blame yoof for having repetitious retread games. They've always had a sameyness about them.

    I dearly wanted to get into playing games, ever since they were in text only.

    But every game I tried would start or quickly arrive at a random dark location where you had to randomly discover an exit by repeatedly trying, dying and starting again until you got the right sequence.

    And long before I ever reached that point I'd just think Stuff it. There are better things to do with my life.

    1. Disk0
      Pint

      Re: Repetitious

      And here I am pressing these same old keys to write same old words in a somewhat different order in hopes of staving off existential dread for another couple of moments instead of submitting to the illusion that playing chess will increase my intellectual powers as long as I keep defeating the next Boss...

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