1. Known Hero
    Paris Hilton

    now this is a story I can get behind, although you need to ensure the picture is available on the front page !

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "now this is a story I can get behind"

      The Internet; billions of dollars spent on pushing the limits of technology and building a world wide infrastructure so Nepalese goat herders can decide when and where to sell their goats, and Westerners can look at bare arses. And of the two, the bare arses use by far the greater share of resources.

      1. razorfishsl

        Re: "now this is a story I can get behind"

        Billions spent pushing wank fantasies for young boys and "can you see me / like me " neurotic females.

  2. Calum Morrison

    This person clicked on the link. What happened next will shock you to the core.

    No it won't.

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: This person clicked on the link. What happened next will shock you to the core.

      pageViews++;

  3. Rich 11

    The weird trick marketing experts don't want you to know

    *tumbleweed*

  4. Aaiieeee
    Happy

    The URL to this comment section..

    kim_kardashian_impregnated_by_lizard_alien_lifeform_during_brazilian_waxing

    1. Jedit Silver badge
      Alien

      Re: The URL to this comment section..

      Clearly a fake article. I've never even met the woman.

    2. Mark 85
      Coat

      Re: The URL to this comment section..

      So they finally identified what Kayne is?

  5. anthonyhegedus Silver badge

    Shock! horror! Editorial content found among adverts that have just sucked 5% of phone battery and 500MB of data. Because greed

  6. wolfetone Silver badge

    You've missed April Fools day by over 4 months.

    1. VinceH
      Facepalm

      FSVO 4 that may be closer to 2.

      1. wolfetone Silver badge

        "FSVO 4 that may be closer to 2."

        THAT BLOODY TIME MACHINE AGAIN!

  7. Ashton Black

    New Study Shows Drinking Pepsi Coke is Better For You than Breathing!!!*.

    *Advertorial by Pepsi Cola Inc.

  8. GrumpenKraut
    Boffin

    Five ASTOUNDING reasons why you MUST read this article

    - Text not overly long

    - Accompanying illustration very instructive

    - Headline amazingly long

    - There are three kinds of mathematicians, those who can count to three and those who can't

  9. magickmark

    Very insightful, more please!

    1. Dan 55 Silver badge

      Indeed. I prefer it over the DevOps articles which on the go on for longer and don't have as much to say.

  10. 's water music

    Me too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    #lol

    ;-)

  11. Bloakey1

    Listicles!

    "How listicles are killing journalism: Ten things we've learnt."

    Do not get me fscking started on that one. Even some of the legitimate non tabloid press are chucking out this crap.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Listicles!

      "Do not get me fscking started on that one. Even some of the legitimate non tabloid press are chucking out this crap."

      I assume you're referring to the Guardian .... its even transferring to their print version as, for example, the "Guide" section at the weekend as trnasformed from having reviews of TV/film/theatre/gigs/etc to having "Five TV origs/films/plays/shows/etc to see this week". Though, I suppose this is in line with the Guardian's policy of putting everything online so that when you buy a print copy you find that you've already read any articles that you're interested in (keep on asking myself why I'm still paying for a weekebnd subscription!)

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Listicles! / I assume you're referring to the Guardian

        Even the Independent does it.You have to look at some of the clickbait headlines and try to guess whether or not there might be a sensible article hidden behind it.

        1. Flocke Kroes Silver badge

          Re: Spotting the sensible articles

          The Register maintains a list of articles not worth bothering with here.

      2. Bloakey1

        Re: Listicles!

        "I assume you're referring to the Guardian ...."

        <snip>

        They are all at it. For some it is their own creation and for others it is click baited crap from their sponsors!

        The days of presentation over content are here and the dark times cometh.

      3. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Listicles!

        I think I read the Guardian once somewhere around 1979.

        Then I sort of grew up.

    2. Zarno
      Paris Hilton

      Re: Listicles!

      Listicles???? I read that as something else entirely, and nearly snorted my martini on the ceiling...

      Paris, because, well...

  12. anthonyhegedus Silver badge

    Keep asking yourselves how journalism is going to survive as online advertising gets more and more invasive, and less and less controlled? How long before adverts pause if you look away? Anyone seen that black mirror?

    1. Skribblez

      Microsoft's adverts in their Windows 10 games do this when they lose focus. Funny. Guess they think it means the ads will be watched because one wants to play solitaire and not that one stops playing solitaire and even less ads get loaded...

    2. Dale 3

      Adverts which pause when you look away would be awesome. Sticky tape over the camera, and they're permanently paused.

  13. Alister
    Facepalm

    NSFW

    You might at least have marked it NSFW, although it's my own damn fault for looking, I suppose.

    1. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: NSFW

      Do you work in a convent?

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: NSFW

        I wish. I keep applying but it's a difficult habit to get into. So despite all my efforts it's a bit of a nunstarter.

        1. Bloakey1

          Re: NSFW

          "I wish. I keep applying but it's a difficult habit to get into. So despite all my efforts it's a bit of a nunstarter."

          You want to stay away from all those dirty habits or you might end up with a scapular and therefore end up with postulancy.

        2. John Brown (no body) Silver badge

          Re: NSFW

          Ah, you gave too easily. Wimp-le

  14. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    TL;DR

    Lists!

  15. Hero Protagonist

    Meanwhile, on El Reg

    June 9: "Apple to kill off Mac OS X?"

  16. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Quality article. Occasionally I wish for the old "up/downvote this article" link. Usually it's for downvoting Orlowski***, of course, but sometimes -as in this case- it's for throwing a salute to the author. Actually, the downvote is also throwing a salute to the author...just a different sort of salute now I come to think about it.

    Betteridge's law brilliantly explained in one word. Props sir.

    *** I finally managed to get a comment rejected, by the way. Hate to waste pixels, so I'll recycle them here:

    [Note: Italics are a quote from the article in question]

    ------8<----------------------------------------------------------------------

    "Fighting copyright today requires a persecution complex, because concrete examples of real oppression are fleeting and trivial. The unfairness of copyright must therefore be imagined.

    This is almost Trump-esque in it's "I'll throw so much steaming bullshit into one sentence that people won't even know where to start refuting it" style"

    ------8<----------------------------------------------------------------------

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      That's odd...the above post doesn't appear in my "My posts" list. Scuse me while I link it with a post that does...http://forums.theregister.co.uk/forum/containing/2890051

  17. imanidiot Silver badge

    Journalists hate this commentor for one simple trick. Click here to find out:

    Well donr indeed. Though that headline could have been longer. It's not overly long until it breaks the site layout!

  18. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    By a simple man...

    I see boobs. I click.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: By a simple man...

      <clickbaitimageclass="autobreasts" textrelevance="none" size="36" expand="C">

POST COMMENT House rules

Not a member of The Register? Create a new account here.

  • Enter your comment

  • Add an icon

Anonymous cowards cannot choose their icon