back to article Hack probing poodle sacrifice cuffed for public crap

An Arizona TV journalist on assignment covering the alleged sacrifice and smoking of a family poodle was arrested earlier this week for allegedly dropping his pants and dumping a load in public. According to the Phoenix New Times, CBS 5's Jonathan Lowe is alleged to have been caught short in the Phoenix suburb of Goodyear, …

Anonymous Coward

He's lucky

There are some states where such an act would put you on the sex offenders register for life, get your kids taken away from you and... well I don't need to go on. (applies to both No 1's and No 2's).

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Re: He's lucky

And other states where such an act would get you a bullet....

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Re: He's lucky

And there are some where you'd go on to win the London marathon.

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Re: He's lucky @Ian Johnston

Was the issue that he used the neighbour's front yard, though? Property rights and all that. AFAIK the runner made use of the public highway (and displayed true British grit in the process.)

I am surprised that these investigative journalists with vans never seem to have discovered the Porta-Potti (other trademarks available), as I believe private detectives have been buying these for many years.

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Re: He's lucky

I know of no state where you could legally be shot for doing this.

Most states have some version of castle doctrine, but the guy was outside. They could probably threaten to shoot him, but not actually do it.

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PAW

Re: He's lucky

Arizona allows being charged with indecent exposure or public lewdness for urinating in a place exposed to public view. Multiple charges may require the offender to register as a sex offender. Ariz. Rev. Stat. §13-3821.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: He's lucky

Only some states. There's an entire country where that would get you put on the sex offenders register.

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Re: He's lucky

"I know of no state where you could legally be shot for doing this"

That depends on whether or not he's black.

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Re: He's lucky

...and others where you a presenting spot on Match of the Day...and you get made to flog crisps for the rest of your life...

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Anonymous Coward

Re: He's lucky

Florida maybe?

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I think I see what you did there.

"... his bio page has been wiped clean. If Lowe has been flushed, ..."

Or is it just my sense of potty-humour?

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Re: I think I see what you did there.

Yeah, some really crap puns that should be shot on shite... err sight.

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Xmas

So darling, would you like another pet poodle for Xmas.

No mum, I'd like another t-shirt.

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Anonymous Coward

sacrifice and smoking of a family poodle

Americans are seriously weird. Anon.

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Re: sacrifice and smoking of a family poodle

These sorts of people are free to breed. It's scary. And another generation completely messed up.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: sacrifice and smoking of a family poodle

And you Brits have just as many dumbass idiots as we do!

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Re: sacrifice and smoking of a family poodle

I doubt it :)

The USA has advantages of numbers :) UK would need an idiot rate roughly 5 times that of the USA.

That being said, there's probably some imbecile breeding program that the UK has where the ultimate Goth-Saxeburg-Fuckwit cross can be achieved :)

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@MonkeyCee - imbecile breeding program in the UK

Isn't that what the titled class is for?

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Re: sacrifice and smoking of a family poodle

It's those damned integrists that left europe to build mythical integro-land closer to God.

Bad memes everywhere, festering!

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It's Friday

Hey, Smokey back here taking a s***!

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burying the lede, at least part of it.

The former football player runs a barbecue catering company. How could The Register have missed this?

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Coat

Hot dogs anybody?

I had heard of smoking dogs (beagles) before - i think he misinterpreted

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But what was on the shirt?

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Last time T-shirt Terror struck

It was this.

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The ironic thing is, the guy used to play for ASU. Their mascot is the Sun Devil. So I wouldn't be completely surprised if her shirt was for his own former team!

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Anonymous Coward

That reminds me...

... time to fire up the kettle for a Not Poodle.

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Ah. Smoker as in smoked sausage.

I thought at first they were inhaling the dog into their lungs, one cigarette at a time.

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Coat

Now is it any wonder .....

That Trump is a presidential nominee?

I

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Anonymous Coward

Smokey bear says:

Don't smoke the poodle!

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Re: Smokey bear says:

and he adds:

Use the woods, man. Not some geezer's front yard.

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Coat

Re: Smokey bear says:

Use the woods, man.

Only if the reporter is a bear.

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Am I the only one who's thinking?

Smoked poodle - sick! But, just a taste ...

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I bought a dog from a blacksmith. We got home, and he made a bolt for the door.

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"Americans are seriously weird. Anon."

Self righteous Brits.

The man had to handle a situation with Satan, and did so with only the loss of a Tee shirt and a poodle.

You could do better?

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Arizona really is not so bad

>"Americans are seriously weird. Anon."

In defense of America Arizona isn't like most other places as well. I love it but yeah generally when we are in the news (too often) its not for good reasons. At least our retarded political leadership seems to have avoided passing a lets leave the union type bill this year. Surprised they are not leading the charge on bathroom bills actually.

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Anonymous Coward

You could do better?

We used to have Margaret Thatcher but she's now in limbo until Satan and God can work out some sort of deal as to who gets her. I suppose at a pinch Edwina Currie is currently our best option.

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Anonymous Coward

Re: You could do better?

>We used to have Margaret Thatcher but she's now in limbo until Satan and God can work out some sort of deal as to who gets her.

Have a feeling she is part of package deal with her buddy Ronnie Raygun.

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Reply Icon

Re: Arizona really is not so bad

I've not heard of a "Lets leave the union bill."

I have heard of bills that allow people to decide if they want to belong to a union or not being mischaracterized that way.

Having been a member of both the Teamsters and CWA, I would have left both if I had been allowed to do so and keep my job. Eventually, I left those jobs instead - and I was glad to see the back of those lowlife POS unions.

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>I've not heard of a "Lets leave the union bill."

Sorry agreed poorly worded. Meant secede from the Union (for example state laws proclaiming Federal land is now Arizona state land or that the state can ignore POTUS executive actions etc). As for labor unions if you don't like them Arizona is your state (right to work laws, etc). In fact I don't know if any other state is as anti union.

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PAW
Coat

it's what Red States do

Yes we don't have a petition to leave the Union, but we did pass Prop 122 (with late ballots) that allows Arizona to restrict state and local governments from using personnel and money to enforce or administer any federal law or program that is “not consistent with the Constitution of the United States.”

And the AZ Legislature regularly crafts Bills (1433, 2368, 2643) to ignore federal laws we don't like.

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Re: it's what Red States do

>restrict state and local governments from using personnel and money to enforce or administer any federal law or program that is “not consistent with the Constitution of the United States.”

Yes because that is something state government should be determining instead of the SCOTUS. Its amazing for supposedly not having any money for schools how much money this state has to waste on useless worthless lawsuits to score political points. Our politics would be a lot less screwed up if the general elections were in July when the snow birds are gone. Seems old white people here don't care about the future except making their last few years comfortable. Still Arizona is great and it could be worse. We could be New Mexico and have no economy (outside government pork) lol.

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Anonymous Coward

Poodle Strudel

Meanwhile over in South Korea they're wondering what the fuss is all about.

Also an industrial smoker must get through a few harrys a day. Jeez.

Lastly shoving a dead poodle up a heavy smokers arse must have been a wheeze.

Ithankyou.

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