back to article Ex-HP boss Carly Fiorina sacked one week into new job

Carly Fiorina's astonishing career trajectory into oblivion remains on target tonight after her bid to be US Vice President was cut mercifully short. Just seven days ago, the ex-HP boss was chosen to be the running mate of Texan senator and Republican presidential hopeful Ted Cruz. On Tuesday evening, crushed into a sad paste …

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  1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    On behalf of the human race

    Thank fsck for that

    1. PleebSmasher
      Devil

      Re: On behalf of the human race

      Trump 2016: Make America Great Again

      1. theblackhand

        Re: On behalf of the human race

        More like:

        Trump 2016: Making Republicans unelectable again

        Trump trails Clinton by around 6% in polls and trails significantly in the electoral college system by around 250 vs 170 based on expected voting patterns with projections showing 300+ for Clinton.

        1. This post has been deleted by its author

          1. TRT Silver badge

            Re: On behalf of the human race

            So... is Trump saying that America isn't great now? At least Britain's great. See? They even put it in the name. Or does that just mean "big"? Perhaps they'll rename the USA; Great America. Has a kind of ring to it, doesn't it?!

            1. Captain Badmouth
              Mushroom

              Re: On behalf of the human race

              "Great America. Has a kind of ring to it, doesn't it?!"

              Ask not for whom the bell tolls.......

            2. Anonymous Coward
              Anonymous Coward

              Re: On behalf of the human race

              @TRT "Great America" is the name of a huge, loud, expensive amusement park in Gurnee, Illinois USA. Entry is expensive, the rides are spectacular but the wait times for them are onerous. Food overpriced and not nutritionally balanced. Seems to be very much in keeping with the USA as a whole, and the Trump campaign in particular.

              AC because I live in a very Republican area. I am a Bernie Sanders supporter, but don't have a bumper sticker on my car. I don't want to have the car keyed, or attract the intense scrutiny of local law enforcement, since they will assume I am a dangerous drug-toting terrorist on that basis.

          2. alferdpacker

            Re: On behalf of the human race

            I recall that they were disbelieving of that way back in 1955.

            1. werdsmith Silver badge

              Re: On behalf of the human race

              I don't really know what Trump is all about and as I have no vote in this election I don't really need to.

              But the impression I get is best communicated by Kenny Everett's General Cheeseburger:

              Bomb the bastards!

        2. Ian Michael Gumby Silver badge
          Mushroom

          Re: On behalf of the human race

          First, its a bit ingenuous to say she was sacked 1 week in to a new job. She didn't have a job until Cruz won the nod and he didn't. So it was a tentative offer at best.

          Second, Kasich is still in the race. He's the anybody but Trump. Take Cruz, Rubio and Kasich's delegates, and he's a lot closer to Trump than you think.

          Both Kasich and Sanders will have had the election stolen from them.

          Sanders because HRC will be indicted and the DNC will parachute in a Biden / Warren ticket at the last minute.

          Kasich because he's been completely ignored by the Press from day one. He won Ohio and if its a contested election between him and Trump, he has a very good chance. But the media finds a "GOP pundits eat crow" story more appealing than talking about candidates.

          That's the sick thing about the US and probably other Governments. We don't know how much our opinions are influenced by the press.... er... actually we do, thanks to Facebook who experimented on their pleebs....

          Go figure. I wonder if NZ or AU are far enough away to survive this potential melt down....

          1. Florida1920 Silver badge

            Re: On behalf of the human race

            Second, Kasich is still in the race.

            Not anymore. It's Drumpf all the way now. Next stop: Doomsville.

          2. Nyms

            Re: On behalf of the human race

            We're utterly dependent upon the media for the factoids upon which we are forced to act. They in turn actually just want attention, and depend on anyone who will tell them something startling, preferably while making it seem nearly plausible. If it involves the end of the world, even better (I'm thinking of ISIS, not 'civilization' drowning; the first is war, the second is real and with real inertia). For all we know, Trump is actually a computer-generated joke half the time. 42

        3. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

          Re: On behalf of the human race

          >Trump trails Clinton by around 6% in polls

          Fortunately in the US the choice of president isn't all that strongly correlated with getting most votes

      2. Alvar
        Alert

        Re: On behalf of the human race

        Spellchecker issue

        Trump 2016: Make America grate again

      3. Peter Simpson 1
        WTF?

        Re: On behalf of the human race

        TRUMP / PALIN 2016

        Twice the crazy -- twice the fun!

        // not really

        // God, please no

        // how much crazier will it get?

        1. LateNightLarry
          FAIL

          Re: On behalf of the human race

          Could be worse... maybe... Drumpf could choose Michelle Bachmann for his running mate...

        2. bombastic bob Silver badge

          Re: On behalf of the human race

          "TRUMP / PALIN 2016"

          "Twice the crazy -- twice the fun!"

          heh - good one

          sit back and enjoy the revolution show

  2. Shadow Systems Silver badge

    President... Trum...?

    When is the next ship to Mars, I want off this rock as fast as fekkin possible.

    *FacePalmGroan*

    This planet is doomed. We're all screwed. Doomed & screwed, screwed & doomed.

    I'd run around singing the Gir "Doom" song but this shite isn't even remotely amusing anymore.

    Is that ship ready yet? FFS I'll even go on the B Ark if that's the only thing available.

    Vogons, we're being ruled by Vogons.

    1. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken Silver badge

      Re: President... Trum...?

      Go ahead and say it: President and Supreme Commander Donald Trump.*

      As to the next ship to mars you might want to get in touch with SpaceX:

      http://www.theregister.co.uk/2016/05/02/spacex_adds_mars_haulage_to_its_price_list/

      * Yes, the phrase "May you live in interesting times" is indeed a curse.

      1. EarthDog

        Re: President... Trum...?

        I for one welcome the imminent election of Beloved Leader.

    2. ArrZarr Silver badge
      Joke

      Re: President... Trum...?

      But apparently Trump being president is less horrifying than being stuck on the C Ark.

    3. Fungus Bob Silver badge

      Re: screwed & doomed

      SCROOMED!

    4. bombastic bob Silver badge

      Re: President... Trum...?

      "We're all screwed. Doomed & screwed, screwed & doomed."

      that's what I said in 2008 when Obaka was elected... and again in 2012

  3. Youngone Silver badge

    Trump? Who's he?

    I'm not sure why everyone is so worried about Donald Trump. He's just doing what every other presidential candidate does. He's saying whatever it takes to get elected, he means none of it, and we're none the wiser as to what his policies actually are.

    He's no different to Hilary, except that Goldman Sacks are not funding his campaign.

    I'm still hopeful he picks Sarah Palin as his running mate. That would be really funny.

    He won't of course. Everyone saw the look of disgust on his face as he watched her endorse him.

    1. dajames Silver badge

      Re: Trump? Who's he?

      He's saying whatever it takes to get elected, he means none of it, and we're none the wiser as to what his policies actually are.

      I'm not sure what the scariest aspect of that is -- that people elect candidates that they know to be lying, that the things Donald Trump has been saying are appealing to the electorate, or that people elect candidates whose true policies they do not know.

      Or, for that matter, that DT may not actually have any policies, but just wants to lie his way into the job and wing it from there.

      1. Triggerfish

        Re: Trump? Who's he?

        There has been quite a few interviews where people are saying things along the lines of, "yeah he says a lot of crazy things but I'm sure he will calm down when he gets elected". It seems they have the opinion that once you elect a politician he becomes less of a shit. Refreshing change of attitude, nuts admittedly.

        1. Francis Boyle Silver badge

          Re: Trump? Who's he?

          For a while now I've been saying that Trump is like a dog chasing a car. But dogs don't usually catch cars. Thing could get messy.

        2. hammarbtyp Silver badge

          Re: Trump? Who's he?

          There has been quite a few interviews where people are saying things along the lines of, "yeah he says a lot of crazy things but I'm sure he will calm down when he gets elected". It seems they have the opinion that once you elect a politician he becomes less of a shit. Refreshing change of attitude, nuts admittedly.

          Ok, at the risk of invoking Godwin's law, I'm pretty sure that is what they said when they elected Chancellor Schicklgruber in the 1930's

          1. Robert Helpmann?? Silver badge
            Childcatcher

            Re: Trump? Who's he?

            Ok, at the risk of invoking Godwin's law, I'm pretty sure that is what they said when they elected Chancellor Schicklgruber in the 1930's

            As a reminder, Godwin's Law only ends the argument if the comparison is unjustified.

        3. GrumpenKraut Silver badge

          Re: Trump? Who's he?

          > "yeah he says a lot of crazy things but I'm sure he will calm down when he gets elected".

          People said that about some former German leader. Then somehow WWII happened.

          1. JennyZ

            Re: Trump? Who's he?

            As Basil Fawlty used to say "DON"T MENTION THE WAR!"

        4. ma1010 Silver badge
          Childcatcher

          Re: Trump? Who's he?

          Being a "'Merican," I hear folks discuss who they're supporting for president a fair bit. I like to listen to WHY they prefer a certain candidate. Most Trump supporters I've heard aren't for him because they expect him to dig a moat between the US and Mexico, set up death camps for illegal immigrants or invade Canada, etc. I mainly hear two reasons for supporting Trump:

          1) He has enough money of his own that he can't easily be bought.

          2) People are so sick of our federal government of the corporations, by the corporations and for the corporations that they feel it might not be a bad idea to smash it up and start over. They think that Trump might make a good wrecking ball.

          To me (1) seems somewhat reasonable, but as for (2), I think Trump would find that Washington has a lot more inertia than one person can overcome. If he wins in November, I guess we'll see -- we'll certainly have to HOPE that he's been talking a lot of bollocks.

          1. YARR

            Re: Trump? Who's he?

            1) He has enough money of his own that he can't easily be bought.

            It used to be that politicians were mostly self-made, independently-wealthy people, meaning they were less likely to be "bought". However that's no guarantee as you have to look at someone's history to see how they came by their wealth and weather it was made by having certain connections. Trump may not be as clean and independent as you think.

      2. SalemTheRat

        Re: Trump? Who's he?

        Welcome to almost every election ever.

    2. Chris King Silver badge

      Re: Trump? Who's he?

      "I'm still hopeful he picks Sarah Palin as his running mate. That would be really funny.

      He won't of course. Everyone saw the look of disgust on his face as he watched her endorse him".

      It was like watching the AntiChrist trying to endorse the Devil.

      WOO !!! SATAN !!! WOO !!! HOTTER SULPHUR PITS FOR ALL !!! WOO !!! GO SATAN !!!

    3. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Trump? Who's he?

      Everyone saw the look of disgust on his face as he watched her endorse him.

      Wow, I can't believe I actually have something in common with Donald Trump! Next you'll be telling me he breathes oxygen.

      Still, at least we don't share the same language.

      1. Just Enough

        Re: Trump? Who's he?

        Trump won't pick Palin for a running mate for two simple reasons;

        - she's a she.

        - she has almost as big a deluded ego as he has. And if there's one thing a deluded egotist can't stand is another deluded egotist.

        If she was only one of the above she might have been in with a chance. But two? No chance.

        Trump will pick a female non-entity who he thinks appeals to to the little women-folk, and exceeds in the ability of making herself scarce once the voting is over. .. Hang on.. doesn't that sound like..

    4. tirk
      Coat

      Re: Trump? Who's he?

      With the weird skin colour, the bizarre hair and the incomprehensible way he speaks...

      Surely he's some minor character from Geordie Shore??

    5. waldo kitty
      Facepalm

      Re: Trump? Who's he?

      I'm still hopeful he picks Sarah Palin as his running mate. That would be really funny.

      He won't of course. Everyone saw the look of disgust on his face as he watched her endorse him.

      is that what that was? i thought it was gas...

    6. ardichoke

      Re: Trump? Who's he?

      I'm not sure why everyone is so worried about Donald Trump. He's just doing what every other presidential candidate does. He's saying whatever it takes to get elected, he means none of it, and we're none the wiser as to what his policies actually are.

      The scary thing is, people truly believe this in spite of the evidence that politicians actually keep a majority of their promises, suggesting they're not quite as disingenuous as we all think they are. I'm not sure what I'm more scared of in this case, that Trump is lying about everything and we have no idea what he would actually do as el prez, or that he's telling the truth. Either way, Trump 2016 makes me long for Canada 2017.

      (Recent analysis of politicians and their promises to support my comment here: http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/trust-us-politicians-keep-most-of-their-promises/)

  4. Mark 85 Silver badge

    Hmm... so if Cruz hadn't "merged" with her, he still might be in the running? More importantly, given her history, why the hell would anyone want to work for her, much less consider her as a political running mate? It's pity that Trump didn't pick her... he might be out of the race now.

    1. xperroni

      Hmm... so if Cruz hadn't "merged" with her, he still might be in the running?

      Highly unlikely, of course, but you have to agree her sense of timing is priceless.

    2. Solmyr ibn Wali Barad

      "It's pity that Trump didn't pick her... he might be out of the race now."

      Even better angle - who would have fired the other first? That's a reality show material right there.

    3. Rich 11 Silver badge

      She accomplished that all in one week; at HP, it took her five years.

      Practice makes perfect.

  5. Captain DaFt

    Wow

    Got one up on the other candidates by picking a running mate early to show his confidence.

    One week with her and he calls it quits.

    And here I thought he had no brains.

  6. Steve Davies 3 Silver badge

    Meanwhile...

    Tumps' architects/builders are busy finalising plans for the great walls of America. One for Mexico and one for Canada.

    He's gotta have more legacy than his hair comb-over.

    {can you see that from space?}

    1. NotBob

      Re: Meanwhile...

      Maybe it will be like the south park episode where Canada built a wall before the US got the chance. Of course it's Mexico this time...

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Meanwhile...

        I'm thinking that South Park might just re-hash the douche versus turd sandwich.

    2. g e

      I was thinking of a Kickstarter campaign

      You could fund a brick for the Great Wall of Canada.

      Donate more and have your name inscribed in that brick.

      A several thousand mile long petition, in other words, literally in stone.

      1. SMFSubtlety

        Re: I was thinking of a Kickstarter campaign

        you were beaten to it by the UK show The Last Leg.

        http://brickingitforcanada.com/

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