back to article Subjects! Speek your branes to Parliament on the Snoopers' Charter

The government committee tasked with scrutinising the highly controversial Investigatory Powers Bill, which was this week waved through Parliament by an overwhelming majority of MPs, now wants evidence from Joe Public. After receiving its second reading in the House of Commons this week, the so-called Snoopers' Charter is set …

  1. pewpie

    Darn..

    For a moment there I thought El Reg had the 'real' Peter Hammill writing about this fucking circus of corruption we call government.

    Howsabout that for a soundbite, Pete?

  2. a cynic writes...

    OK I admit it - I was wrong...

    ...when back in May last year I said

    The Conservative majority is small enough that forcing this bollocks through will be difficult.

    In my defence I had sort of expected there to be an opposition for Tory rebels to join.

    1. scrubber

      Re: OK I admit it - I was wrong...

      @cynic, you were "in May" last year?

      1. Mark 85 Silver badge
        Pint

        @scrubber -- Re: OK I admit it - I was wrong...

        There's not enough mindbleach in the world to erase that mental image... but I'll try with the next best thing (see icon).

    2. Steve Evans

      Re: OK I admit it - I was wrong...

      You were probably hoping that those that didn't approve would vote against it, not just all take an early day and not bother voting at all.

      That's possibly the most disgusting part of this whole disgusting episode... Those that are paid to represent us, doing sod all.

      1. Intractable Potsherd

        Re: OK I admit it - I was wrong... @ Steve Evans

        "That's possibly the most disgusting part of this whole disgusting episode... Those that are paid to represent us, doing sod all."

        Yep. I got a response from my MP (SNP, and I didn't vote for him) yesterday to a letter I sent regarding the IPB prior to the vote, in which he said, basically "we think this is a bad Bill, so we did nothing!" I replied that the actions of the SNP and Labour were cowardly and weak, and explained that the actions of the Lib Dems (a close second in the last election in this constituency) and the Greens (okay, their only MP) meant that they will be getting more favourable scrutiny from me in the future. It will make no difference - the SNP are indistinguishable from Labour and Tory parties, with a very nasty streak of Scottish Presbyterian authoritarianism thrown in (see the Named Person Scheme - the No2NP website is good) for an example.

  3. Chris G Silver badge

    @a cynic, How were you to know the opposition would want exactly the same powers (or more) for the next time they were in power.

    Liberty? Oh! That wierd concept they fought WWII for!

    1. Jagged

      "@a cynic, How were you to know the opposition would want exactly the same powers (or more) for the next time they were in power."

      Because they wanted it the last time they were in power?

      I think there must be something in the water that civil servants feed to new Home Secretaries, that tern them into control freaks.

      1. Alien8n Silver badge

        @Jagged I'm fairly sure it's more a case of:

        "Home Secretary, there's a gentleman from GCHQ to see you regarding that bill you didn't want to sign"

      2. staringatclouds

        See 'Charles Farr'

      3. Uncle Slacky Silver badge
        Alien

        Khaaaaan!

        I bet they get one of those bugs from Star Trek II stuck in their ears when they take office.

      4. veti Silver badge
        Devil

        Home secretaries can listen to the public, who occasionally scold them in a generalised way about a barely coherent stream of things that float across their consciousness as and when they get around to it, and with lots of us contradicting each other...

        ... or they can listen to their own officials, who maintain full-time teams of highly intelligent, highly talented people with no other purpose in life than to manipulate the Home Secretary in a single, coherent direction.

        Is it any wonder, we always lose that contest?

      5. CrazyOldCatMan Silver badge

        > that tern them into control freaks.

        Obviously gulled into a false sense of security.

  4. Esme
    Stop

    Letters to MPs time, everyone

    As well as to the email address given in the article. As far as I'm concerned, this is tantamount to those in power declaring war on the rest of us in the UK.

    C'mon folks, as many of us as possible need to barrage Parliament to explain as simply and politely as possible why the Snoopers Charter is a bad idea, and also to make it clear that should such idiotic legislation go through, there will be determined resistance from the general populace, and why.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Letters to MPs time, everyone

      Most arent interested, i wrote pages to my MP (Jim Dowd) on this and he laughed off every concern i put to him. Whilst telling me he had to leave for a hospital appt (again)

      About ready to stand myself next time round...

      1. Domino

        Re: Letters to MPs time, everyone

        Did you point out that it will be technically impossible for MPs to be excluded from the bulk collection?

        Point out that any attempt to create filters for them just provides a spy upon list that all ICR collectors would have to have, so would definitely leak and the risk to National Security that would create?

        Or that the history for new MPs would already be available and thus available to pervert the course of democracy for bad players?

    2. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Letters to MPs time, everyone

      Let's face facts.

      Labour started all this.

      The conservatives have a carried it on.

      Labour are now abstaining.

      Both political parties are determined to get this law regardless of what us peons think.

      Writing to them as I have found is a waste of time, I will however try again.

      I think the time is ripe for a new political party, one that stands for the people, not the popular bullshit peddled by the press, one that allows the people to voice concerns and opinions and if some are rejected then it is done in a way that explains fully the reasons without resorting to said popular media bullshit. However for this to happen the media needs to be separated from the politicians which is something neither will allow. It would also need people not motivated by greed which probably equates to about 5% of the population, on second thoughts forget it...

      1. Intractable Potsherd

        Re: Letters to MPs time, everyone @AC new party

        "I think the time is ripe for a new political party, one that stands for the people, not the popular bullshit peddled by the press, one that allows the people to voice concerns and opinions and if some are rejected then it is done in a way that explains fully the reasons without resorting to said popular media bullshit. "

        I've upvoted you, but a huge part of the problem is the party system. It is inherently corrupt. What we need is a way of supporting independent candidates who will actually listen to their constituents. I'm at a loss as to how this would happen because of the media thing, and the FPtP voting system - and the ingrained habit of people voting for a party not a candidate. We have a lot of clever people here - any ideas?

    3. phuzz Silver badge
      Meh

      Re: Letters to MPs time, everyone

      The thing is, the only thing you can put in a letter to your MP that might convince them would be a detailed explanation of what they can say when the Daily Mail (or similar) has a headline like "Snoopers Charter could have stopped terrorists!!!!1!!!!11!!". They won't vote against it as long as they're worried that the press will use that vote against them next time some bampot decides to blow themselves up in public.

      Politicians want nothing more than to get re-elected so they have to 'think of the children', publicly at least.

  5. Cynical Observer
    Coat

    Torn

    ... between knowing that it would be a travesty to sit on my hands and do nothing versus the belief that none of this will matter one single solitary iota.

    Once elected, MPs develop selective deafness for a period of approximately 4 years 11 months - where those views of the electorate that are not in tune with the wishes of the Grand Poobah are not to be paid any really meaningful attention.

    The abdication of responsibility by the shiftless shower of abstainers was an unforgivable travesty - creating the impression that these measures are not particularly objectionable. But then again - Nanny Labour wanted many of these in its own time. The SNP? Who knows what game they are playing?

    Or was there leverage brought to bear....

    A pox on all their houses - I want a None of the Above option at the next election

    1. Captain Hogwash
      Unhappy

      Re: I want a None of the Above option at the next election

      Once this has gone through there might not be another election. As most have noted, Labour want this just as much as the Tories. Remember Gordon Brown's 'government of all the talents'? Seemed to me at the time that that might have been code for 'one party state'.

      1. captain veg

        Re: I want a None of the Above option at the next election

        The much maligned Lib Dems opposed this, even to the extent of thwarting their senior partners in coalition. Seems strange the way that they were rewarded at the ballot box.

        -A.

  6. Blipvert

    GO! Teresa, GO!!...

    ...no, seriously just fucking GO! Clear out your desk and pick up your P45 on the way out of the fucking door.

    1. Alien8n Silver badge

      Re: GO! Teresa, GO!!...

      At first I was afraid

      I was petrified

      Kept thinking I could never live

      Without you by my side

      But then I spent so many nights

      Thinking how you did me wrong

      And I grew strong

      And I learned how to get along

      And so you're back

      From outer space

      I just walked in to find you here

      With that sad look upon your face

      I should have changed that stupid lock

      I should have made you leave your key

      If I had known for just one second

      You'd be back to bother me

      Go on now go walk out the door

      Just turn around now

      'Cause you're not welcome anymore

      Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye

      Did you think I'd crumble

      Did you think I'd lay down and die

      Oh no, not I

      I will survive

      Oh as long as I know how to love

      I know I'll stay alive

      I've got all my life to live

      I've got all my love to give

      And I'll survive

      I will survive (hey-hey)

      It took all the strength I had

      Not to fall apart

      Kept trying hard to mend

      The pieces of my broken heart

      And I spent oh so many nights

      Just feeling sorry for myself

      I used to cry

      But now I hold my head up high

      And you see me

      Somebody new

      I'm not that chained up little person

      Still in love with you

      And so you felt like dropping in

      And just expect me to be free

      And now I'm saving all my loving

      For someone who's loving me

      Go on now go walk out the door

      Just turn around now

      'Cause you're not welcome anymore

      Weren't you the one who tried to break me with goodbye

      Did you think I'd crumble

      Did you think I'd lay down and die

      Oh no, not I

      I will survive

      Oh as long as I know how to love

      I know I'll stay alive

      I've got all my life to live

      I've got all my love to give

      And I'll survive

      I will survive

      [x2]

  7. John Smith 19 Gold badge
    Unhappy

    If you want to be effective.

    Send a letter, not an email.

    Be concise. No more than a page if possible.

    Suggest alternatives. No I don't want to, but you'll hear the plaintive cry of the Home Secretary, "If not this then how will we protect Her Maj's subjects from paedos, terrorists, drug dealers and money launderers*"

    It's got to be worth a shot.

    Or to put it another way, "If you tolerate this, then your children will be next."

    *IE The usual people to put the s**t up the proles.

  8. Cynic_999 Silver badge

    What's good for the goose ...

    How about giving the public access to all MP's emails and telephone calls? After all, they are far more likely to plan and carry out illegal attacks than any member of the public. If they have nothing to hide they have nothing to fear ...

  9. Trigonoceps occipitalis

    Worth a Read

    http://www.spectator.co.uk/2016/03/yes-let-our-spies-spy-but-not-our-bureaucrats/

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    scrutiny@parliament.uk aka the Ministry of Love.

    Does that email address support PGP? Theres no way in hell im going to express my thought-crime over unencrypted channels, you just never know who might be listening.

    Im guessing that the 3000 words is a clever use of crimestop.

    1. veti Silver badge

      Re: scrutiny@parliament.uk aka the Ministry of Love.

      Since the evidence will all get published anyway, it doesn't really make a lot of difference.

  11. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Accept that its a done deal....

    ...and instead, flood your ICR to render the data meaningless:

    Set loopcount to a very big number or even edit to leave it to run forever, leave this powershell running on multiple VMs and go on holiday:

    $loopCount = 20

    $ListofHostnames = @()

    do {

    Clear-Variable HostName -ErrorAction SilentlyContinue

    $Octet1 = Get-Random -Minimum 1 -Maximum 255

    $Octet2 = Get-Random -Minimum 1 -Maximum 255

    $Octet3 = Get-Random -Minimum 1 -Maximum 255

    $Octet4 = Get-Random -Minimum 1 -Maximum 255

    $RandomIP4 = "$Octet1.$Octet2.$Octet3.$Octet4"

    write-host "Target IP Address: $RandomIP4"

    $HostName = [System.Net.Dns]::GetHostByAddress($RandomIP4)

    $HostName.HostName

    write-host "Resultant Hostname: $($HostName.hostname)"

    if ($HostName.hostname.length -gt 0) {

    Invoke-WebRequest -Uri $HostName.hostname

    (Invoke-WebRequest -Uri $HostName.hostname).Links.Href

    $ListofHostnames += $HostName.HostName

    }

    $loopCount --

    Write-Host "New loop: $loopCount" -ForegroundColor Magenta

    } until ($loopCount -eq 0)

    $ListofHostnames

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Accept that its a done deal....

      Then your ISP has to buy more and more storage capacity to store all these randomised addresses

      Then you get charged more for internet to cover the cost

      Then the government catch wind of this & a secondary instrument is used to quietly modify the IP act to make deliberate activity like this illegal, your door gets kicked in by heavily armed men, your systems are taken away, you're charged with obstruction, you can't talk to your lawyer about it or even present a defence because of the gagging clauses and you spend the rest of your life sucking some MP's dick as a punishment.

      If this law gets passed in pretty much any form the government would accept, we are dog food, our lives will only exist at their sufferance

  12. Suburban Inmate
    Big Brother

    Same shit, different decade, moar technology

    Ceiling Cameron is watching you planning dissent domestic extremism.

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