back to article What a pair of ace-holes: Crooks bug gambler's car with GPS tracker, follow him and rob him

A couple of crooks planted a GPS tracking device on a gambler's car so they could follow him home and rob him at gunpoint. According to cops in Montgomery County, Maryland, the two thieves clocked the man at a casino in nearby Baltimore, tracked him home over 50 miles, and then robbed the house six days later. The pair of …

  1. Doctor Syntax Silver badge

    Quis custodiet and all that.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Thumb Up

    Hah, great story. If you saw Hollywood do this sort of thing it wouldn't be believed.

    1. Tom 7

      You believe Hollywood?

      NT

      1. andy gibson

        Re: You believe Hollywood?

        They did such a good job with the "moon landings" its hard not to :-)

  3. Stevie

    Bah!

    While removing the second GPS tracker and that of the PI, police discovered three more placed there by the FBI, the NSA and Facebook.

    Facebook claims they were working on behalf of the department of homeland security, but it turns out the Facebook representatives had been scammed by a wily Google employee who was himself unwittingly a tool of a secret program funded by Yahoo.

    While this was being sorted out another seven GPS trackers were discovered and traced back to the IRS, Barrack Obama For A Gun-Free America (a super PAC front funded by Koch Industries as a double-play), The Bavarian Illuminati of No Fixed Address, Microsoft Corp, British Petroleum, two men going by Boris and Vladimir who claimed to be Diplomatic Couriers from the Russian Embassy in Washington D.C., and The Wikipedia Foundation.

    The ensuing brouhaha caused the police to strip the car to its chassis, whereupon to was discovered that the airbag was actually just a plastic bag filled with bubble-wrap, the emissions control computer was consistently operating in a manner outside the specifications of the DOE tests and the tyres, labelled as new when bought, were retreads intended for low speed agricultural use only and lethally dangerous at anything over twenty five miles per hour.

    The remains of the car were taken to a hazardous waste facility, the body shell being found to be not "space age carbon fiber" as claimed by the manufacturer, but a curious asbestos mat/formaldehyde-based resin affair, which had been coated in high-lead paint.

    1. TheProf
      Thumb Up

      Re: Bah!

      Well done Sir.

    2. Mark 85

      Re: Bah!

      Now that is the stuff for a Hollywood movie... The problem is, after some things that have been going on, it's not all that farfetched. Except maybe Yahoo's involvement.

      1. Crazy Operations Guy

        Re: Bah!

        "Except maybe Yahoo's involvement."

        Yahoo must be doing something to stay alive... I doubt that a second-rate email service and mediocre news publication would be enough.

        1. Mark 85

          Re: Bah!

          Yahoo must be doing something to stay alive... I doubt that a second-rate email service and mediocre news publication would be enough.

          One word.... Alibaba. If you've been following, they want to dump everything but the Alibaba investment.

          1. I. Aproveofitspendingonspecificprojects

            The Missing Link

            Yahoo were forced into this carcrowding fund by Asian gambling concerns wanting to determine if the gambler had links to journalism so they could put him in gaol like good yahoos.

            Apparently the Chinese justice system was alerted by all the US pings going Wong.

    3. elDog

      Re: Bah!

      And the accumulated trackers were discovered because the vehicle was leaning a bit and suffered from the dread barnacle accumulation.

      I obviously have nothing more intelligent to add to this conversation other than it would be more efficient for all interested parties to sign into my site (http://TracksAre.US) and ask US to send our already collected information to YOU (25-EYES-ONLY).

      1. DropBear
        Trollface

        Re: Bah!

        "And the accumulated trackers were discovered because the vehicle was leaning a bit and suffered from the dread barnacle accumulation."

        Not quite, considering that out of the final total of 27 trackers found in the car, 19 were actually co-sharing the same piece of hardware - the owner's GPS-enabled smartphone...

    4. Jimmy2Cows Silver badge
      Pint

      Re: Bah!

      @Stevie

      Well played, Sir. Thank you for a hilarious start to my morning!

    5. TheOtherHobbes

      Re: Bah!

      If only he hadn't bought a Volkswagen.

    6. My-Handle

      Re: Bah!

      *laughs, cries, tries not to hyperventilate*

      Congratulations for the first upvote I have awarded in memory. This one's going to have me laughing for days.

    7. John Brown (no body) Silver badge
      Thumb Up

      Re: Bah!

      ..and it all came to light when a Seagate employee was scammed into emailing the entire contents of the hard disk to Capita.

  4. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

    Would never happen here

    The crooks could just pay a few quid to the DVLA and be given the man's address with just a licence plate. Or if they didn't want to deal with official channels, "a drink" to one of the local boys in blue should give them the information

  5. All names Taken
    Facepalm

    Oh really?

    on Kelley Farm Drive

    Ah well, who needs a gps tracker now then?

  6. x 7

    whats the betting the thieves were actually working on behalf of the wife: she was stealing the husbands cash prior to filing for divorce.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "whats the betting the thieves were actually working on behalf of the wife:"

      I suggest you stick to the day job and do not become a criminal mastermind. If it was the wife, why would she need them to plant a GPS device?

      1. Dan Wilkie

        Re: "whats the betting the thieves were actually working on behalf of the wife:"

        Plausible Deniability? She'd be pretty much ruled out for the reasons you stated.

        She was conspicuously absent during the robbery. Unless she's 14, which seems unlikely.

  7. Down not across

    Which one is it?

    No one was seriously injured in the robbery, though police say a 14-year-old girl and 21-year-old man were zip-tied while the crooks searched the house for money.

    Kevin Darnell Carroll, 44, was arrested and charged with home invasion, armed robbery and first-degree assault. It is alleged police matched his DNA with that found on the duct-tape used to bind the victims of the armed robbery.

    Zip ties or duct tape? I'm guessing duct tape since that provided the DNA evidence.

    1. Graham Dawson Silver badge

      Re: Which one is it?

      Zip-ties on their limbs, duct-tape on the mouths to keep them quiet.

      Not that I've spent any time thinking about things like this...

      1. MonkeyCee

        Re: Which one is it?

        Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

      2. DropBear
        Gimp

        Re: Which one is it?

        "duct-tape on the mouths to keep them quiet."

        Oh, I thought that was usually done with a ball gag. Well, at least that's how they always do it in the movies. ...what's that supposed to mean? Of course I'm watching the same movies as everyone else...!

        1. Alien8n

          Re: Which one is it?

          Never mind the movies, I'm playing Saints Row IV at the moment, I swear I'm going to be scarred for life by that game...

          1. Sir Runcible Spoon

            Re: Which one is it?

            "I'm playing Saints Row IV at the moment, I swear I'm going to be scarred for life by that game..."

            Cool, that's on my list now :)

        2. Alan Brown Silver badge

          Re: Which one is it?

          "I thought that was usually done with a ball gag."

          Most crooks don't want to kill people. Ball gags (usually a wadded teatowel or similar) have been known to do exactly that.

        3. x 7

          Re: Which one is it?

          "Oh, I thought that was usually done with a ball gag. Well, at least that's how they always do it in the movies. .."

          we don't all get our movies from the BDSM thread on xHamster

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