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back to article Carolina cop cuffed for 'carjacking'

A former South Carolina cop has been arrested and charged with "Misconduct in Office" after allegedly pleasuring himself in his patrol car while eyeballing smut on his mobe. According to WISTV, Marshall Lee Hardin was in his vehicle next to Woodward Park in Camden, some 40km northeast of state capital Columbia, when he decided …

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  1. 2460 Something

    Sometimes when you get an idea in your head that seems like it will be flawless and have absolutely no repercussions... just remember to say NO!

    4 0 Reply
    1. BillG
      Reply Icon
      Facepalm

      If found guilty, the Hardin faces a possible 10 years' jail time

      So he'll be doing some hard time?

      13 0 Reply
      1. Crisp
        Reply Icon

        Re: So he'll be doing some hard time?

        That's what happens when you contravene the penile code.

        9 0 Reply
      2. Bob Wheeler
        Reply Icon
        Coat

        It seems a bit stiff to me.

        6 0 Reply
      3. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        What ?

        10 years for cracking one off? That's a harsh sentence, even by South Carolina standards. He'd do less time for shooting his wife (or an unarmed, fleeing suspect).

        14 1 Reply
        1. Anonymous Coward
          Reply Icon
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: What ?

          " He'd do less time for shooting his wife"

          Only if she explicitly said he could finish that way...

          1 0 Reply
  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    On the plus side..

    .. at least he was using hands free mode.

    Yes, I'll go and hide now.

    1 0 Reply
  3. Creamy-G00dness

    Marshall Lee......

    Hardon!

    2 0 Reply
  4. Efros

    Daft bugger

    Must had the dashcam turned on and pointed the wrong way, new angle on police shooting.

    1 0 Reply
  5. Warm Braw

    Went into the restroom in the public park to finish ejaculating

    That implies he'd started considerably earlier. Either impressive control or impressive stamina.

    6 0 Reply
    1. Mark 85
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      Re: Went into the restroom in the public park to finish ejaculating

      Or maybe it was just low-quality porn?

      0 0 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        Re: Went into the restroom in the public park to finish ejaculating

        Or maybe it was just low-quality porn?

        More like low quality bandwidth, must have been waiting for the pics to come through.

        Does EE operate in the US? :)

        0 0 Reply

  6. This post has been deleted by its author

  7. Sir Barry

    10 Years Jail

    That is some hard time just for a w*nk.

    7 0 Reply
    1. magickmark
      Reply Icon
      Coat

      Re: 10 Years Jail

      Indeed 10 Years!! Pull the other one!!!

      3 0 Reply
      1. Bob Wheeler
        Reply Icon

        Re: 10 Years Jail

        Just think about the coversation he is going to have with the other inmates.

        "Hey bro, what you in for?"....

        It's not like they are going to laugh or anything is it?

        6 0 Reply
  8. sisk
    Coat

    I'm not at all certain this would be newsworthy were his name not "Hardin".

    Yes, yes, I'm going.

    6 0 Reply
    1. Oengus
      Reply Icon

      beat me to it...

      0 0 Reply
  9. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Apart from the funny side...

    It shows how messed up the laws are in the USofA.

    There are a few states where urinating in public is 10years (plus sex offenders register) but only if you are a Man! The laws dating from the 19th Century specifically exclude women.

    8 1 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Apart from the funny side...

      Agree. Dodgy bloke, for sure and he should be clobbered for a quick hand shandy while on duty. Disciplinary/loss of job/benefits would be enough. But 10 years for having a wank? Good God! Each one of these stories continues to convince me that the US is morphing more towards become the land of Zardoz.

      "The gun is good. The penis is evil!"

      14 2 Reply
      1. Eddy Ito
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        Re: Apart from the funny side...

        You do have to remember that this is South Carolina and there are plenty of [diety] fearing folk in those parts of the country. A quick search in town in question shows about 20 liquor stores, 40 filling stations and 200 churches. And remember to buy your liquor before 7 Saturday evening because those stores will be closed until Monday.

        Much of the rest of the country isn't nearly that bad. Oh, believe it or not, it's actually getting better in most places as they realize the old stupid laws don't really fit but it's a slow process.

        3 1 Reply
        1. Anonymous Coward
          Reply Icon
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Apart from the funny side...

          Diety fearing? Actually, looking at the size of some Americans, it looks like they do indeed fear diets.

          6 0 Reply
          1. Eddy Ito
            Reply Icon
            Facepalm

            Re: Apart from the funny side...

            'i' before 'e' except... oh I give up, I've been afflicted with typelexia for some time. I usually catch the 'teh' errors and the red squiggle underneath helps but not always.

            0 0 Reply
    2. Oengus
      Reply Icon

      Re: Apart from the funny side...

      The USA is not the exclusive domain of dumb laws...

      http://www.dumblaws.com/

      but they do seem to have more than their fair share.

      0 0 Reply
  10. DJO Silver badge

    warped values

    Having a quiet wank - 10 years.

    Fatally shoot an unarmed (non-Caucasian) kid - promotion or at worst a minor ticking off.

    20 2 Reply
  11. phil dude
    Joke

    viz url jacking?

    I couldn't read this "article" without "FNAR FNAR" echoing around my mind...

    P.

    2 0 Reply
  12. x 7

    only two strokes?

    so total-loss lubrication

    should've gone for 4-strokes, much smoother and more reliable, and no loss of lubricant. Much less chance of overheating and seizing up

    7 0 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
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      Anonymous Coward

      yeah, he obviously forgot to turn off the choke.

      2 0 Reply
      1. Anonymous Coward
        Reply Icon
        Anonymous Coward

        yeah, he obviously forgot to turn off the choke

        Apparently, some people like it that way ..

        0 0 Reply
  13. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    You can't escape the long arm of the law...

    0 0 Reply
    1. Captain DaFt
      Reply Icon

      You can't escape the long arm of the law...

      That hand on my collar... You did wash it, I hope?

      3 0 Reply
    2. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Would you want to? Free handcuffs!

      0 0 Reply
    3. Mike Moyle
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      I think that, in this case, the problem was with the short arm of the law.

      0 0 Reply
  14. ukgnome

    erm hello he was watching a married couple - so I think you will find that's Mrs Conduct!

    1 0 Reply
  15. Chris King
    Coat

    If he's been arrested and charged, he didn't come quietly...?

    (Yes, mine's the one with the "Book of Bad Double Entendres" in the pocket)

    5 0 Reply
  16. chivo243 Silver badge

    Cracking on...

    Car-Jacking... next thing he'll be hitting Jack-in-the-Box for a few tacos, and the Quickee mart for some CrackerJack... Ah, what's next? Cracking one of in the front seat? Oh, right that's how this whole thing began...

    0 0 Reply
  17. Chris G

    Disregarding Helmet Law

    Don't touch it!

    0 0 Reply
  18. allthecoolshortnamesweretaken

    What, no 'cops are wankers' comments so far?

    4 0 Reply
    1. Anonymous Coward
      Reply Icon
      Anonymous Coward

      Too obvious? :)

      0 0 Reply

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