back to article Solution to tech bros' disgust of SF homeless people launched

A radical augmented reality (AR) solution to the appalling problem of tech bros having to see people less fortunate than themselves on the streets of San Francisco has been launched. CLEANR is the brainchild of SF resident Jon Adams and uses wearable tech to effectively delete undesirable people from your view. Adams explains …

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  1. ecofeco Silver badge

    Ah that's sweet

    Compassionate assholes aren't they?

    1. Rich 11 Silver badge

      Re: Ah that's sweet

      The next version will also allow the tech bros to blank out women in meetings.

      1. Ken Hagan Gold badge

        Re: Ah that's sweet

        "The next version will also allow the tech bros to blank out women in meetings."

        and for a modest sum the premium version replaces them with ... ok, let's not go there.

        Actually, all this sounds terribly do-able with current AR technology. Someone, somewhere, probably has gone there already and is about to launch.

      2. deathchurch

        Re: Ah that's sweet

        That's a bit harsh on the women who bring in the sandwiches and tea to meetings, and the ones that run the hoovers round...

      3. Stoneshop Silver badge
        Devil

        Re: Ah that's sweet

        The next version will also allow the tech bros to blank out women in meetings.

        They already do so, without AR. But maybe it would free up the brainpower occupied with blanking out women so they have more available to think up stuff like this.

        1. x 7 Silver badge

          Re: Ah that's sweet

          "The next version will also allow the tech bros to blank out women in meetings."

          that would probably help Yahoo!'s management.

        2. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Re: Ah that's sweet

          Can I get one that blanks out people who blank out women?

          I go out of my way to be helpful and inclusive to women in the workplace, if someone wants help learning to improve their position, i'm more than happy to spend my lunch hour going over the basics of coding...

          Although you have to be careful....

          For every clever, happy and friendly woman in the workplace, there is somewhere hiding an evil feminist waiting to pounce with a sexual harrasment claim because of something innocent.....

          (I don't think all feminists are evil, just some)

          1. D@v3

            Re: Ah that's sweet

            you have to be really careful being helpful and inclusive, it might be seen as singling them out and belittling them.

          2. x 7 Silver badge

            Re: Ah that's sweet

            "I go out of my way to be helpful and inclusive to women in the workplace, if someone wants help learning to improve their position, i'm more than happy to spend my lunch hour going over the basics of coding..."

            I bet you don't get your leg over very often

      4. Turtle

        Re: Ah that's sweet

        "The next version will also allow the tech bros to blank out women in meetings."

        I want to comment on this because this was not the first article in which I saw the "tech bro" meme surface. I know that there are far more males than females in the tech industry, but what reason there to think that the women as a group are any more compassionate about the homeless than the men - other than gender stereotypes?

        Are they really all closer to Florence Nightingale than to Carly Fiorina cutting thousands and thousands of jobs while trying to purchase five more corporate jets?

        Would anyone really be surprised if the women feel more threatened by street people generally, than the "tech bros"? And if the women do feel more threatened, they might well have very good reason to feel that way - even if they weren't constantly taught to think of themselves as victims always in danger of becoming ever more victimized.

    2. Suricou Raven

      Re: Ah that's sweet

      He's making the point that the response of many local governments to homeless people is to nudge them to go be homeless elsewhere.

      There was an incident in 2013 that drew a lot of attention in North Carolina, when city police started harassing and eventually arresting a church that tried to distribute food to the homeless - because, much like rats, they congregate where the food is. Withdraw the food and they will scatter and become someone else's problem. It only hit the news because the organisation as a church so they could start the 'wah wah persecution' thing and get a lot of sympathy in certain media circles. There may be next to know public sympathy for the homeless, but much of the US does love a good story about Christians being persecuted somehow.

      There's another one brewing in Florida right now, basically a repeat of the same situation - a church in Oakland tried to distribute food, the local government decided this is in violation of zoning regulations. It's not really about religion or about zoning, it's just that influential people don't want to live in proximity to the homeless.

      Policing is another approach - many US cities have laws against 'sleeping in a public place' or similar to allow the homeless to be arrested. Quickly released again, but the intent is to harass them in to leaving the area and going to a suitably derelict side of town where the sight of them will not lower property values. Some places have rather less subtle methods, like sloping or very narrow benches, benches with armrests between seats to prevent laying upon them, or buildings designed to create no sheltered alcoves. An up-market apartment building in London neglected to do this in the design stage and was caught instead using anti-homeless metal studs embedded in concrete near the doorway to make sure no-one would shelter there.

      Next time you see a public bench, take a moment to look at it - there's a good chance you'll see some feature that, innocent at first glance, on further consideration seems to serve no purpose other than making it impossible for a person to lay down comfortably.

      1. Coen Dijkgraaf
        Flame

        Re: Ah that's sweet

        Another anti-homeless system that some places have implemented are "anti homeless sprinklers", basically a motion sensor with a timer linked to a sprinkler so that out of business hours it will start spraying water if someone stays too long in an alcove so to prevent homeless people from sleeping there. In some jurisdictions they were forced to take them down again.

    3. Voland's right hand Silver badge

      Re: Ah that's sweet

      Looking at the calendar... taking off my glasses... cleaning them... looking again...

      Nope, I am not having hallucinations, this is one month and 6 days too early.

  2. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    2.0 Beta

    I have the 2.0 version of the Beta product and I simply love it! Now not only am I no longer subjected to seeing Trump, I no longer have to hear him either! Brilliant at any price!

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: 2.0 Beta

      Feh -- next version will allow you to subscribe to lists and update it. Goodbye Kanye & Kardashians.

      Then if you want to get rid of all annoying things in your field of view (including all ads!) just get a Google Cardboard, and use it without a phone.

      1. JetSetJim Silver badge

        Re: 2.0 Beta

        Surely it would be feasible to write a Greasmonkey script to filter out such stories from all news sites - although I admit the Daily Mail would probably then render as an empty page a lot of the time (thus reducing its value as a comic satire on modern life).

        If it has been done, I expect someone to post a link to it in 3... 2....

    2. macjules Silver badge
      Facepalm

      Re: 2.0 Beta

      Meh. I have Beta 3.0. Every time you see Hillary Clinton it superimposes 2 FBI officers behind her, reading her rights

      1. Turtle

        @macjules Re: 2.0 Beta

        "Every time you see Hillary Clinton it superimposes 2 FBI officers behind her, reading her rights"

        Oh God please yes.

    3. SVV Silver badge

      Re: 2.0 Beta

      Mine's got stuck in "maximum protection" mode, so now EVERYONE gets changed into one of the many cute cartoon animals that are srupplied with the latest version.

      Waiting at the bus stop yesterday, I was surprised by the regular arrival and departure of marching bands made up of cartoon monkeys in colourful uniforms, until I realised that this was an ingenious undocumented feature that even prevented me from seeing anything associated with poor people.such as public transport.

      Turning all the planes in the sky into the Starship Enterprise is just a geek trip too far however in my opinion.

    4. Trigonoceps occipitalis

      Re: 2.0 Beta

      Such limited ambition to make life better for your fellow man: Star Wars without Jar Jar Binks!

    5. macjules Silver badge
      Coat

      Re: 2.0 Beta

      This could add a whole new concept to electioneering. From now on you now longer have to worry about whether Rubio, Trump or Cruz is winning: you just need to know if its the Azalea, the Shrub or the Potted Palm. Likewise for the Democrats we need only concern ourselves about the Gladioli or, in Hillary's case, the Rafflesia Arnoldii (parasitic with a smell of rotting flesh when in season).

      1. Yet Another Anonymous coward Silver badge

        Re: 2.0 Beta

        Somebody already did that.

        US TV broadcasts a live subtitle data stream for the deaf. Somebody rigged up an arduino to decode the stream, look for the text "kardasian" and mute the sound for a second.

  3. Christoph Silver badge

    Excellent idea - someone looking homeless can strip them of their Rolex, iWhatsits, Credit cards etc. and they won't even see who did it.

    1. Captain DaFt

      "someone looking homeless can strip them of their Rolex, iWhatsits, Credit cards etc. and they won't even see who did it."

      "Can you give me a description of the muggers, sir?"

      "Why yes, one was a charming wrought iron Victorian lamp post, and the other was a terracotta planter full of begonias."

      1. Anonymous Coward
        Pint

        @ Captain DaFt

        Post of the week, Sir!

  4. bob, mon!

    Marketed under the Joo Janta brand name, no doubt?

    After all, the homeless represent a source of peril to the affluent....

    1. anody

      Re: Marketed under the Joo Janta brand name, no doubt?

      It's peril to your relaxed attitude, so - yes.

      Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses

    2. Stoneshop Silver badge

      Re: Marketed under the Joo Janta brand name, no doubt?

      The next thing that will happen is Joo Janta Inc. being sued for patent and IP infringement once these guys get their wormhole tech working.

  5. x 7 Silver badge

    a few bullets would be far cheaper and more permanent

    1. Geoffrey W Silver badge

      Ummm...I think your attempt at funny lacks something. Are you a tech bro?

      1. x 7 Silver badge

        who's being funny? Its America, people have guns. Isn't that what they're for? Shooting random homeless people on the street who look unpleasant and threaten you by existing?

        1. Anonymous Coward
          Anonymous Coward

          Can't tell if joking, or just American

          1. x 7 Silver badge

            "Can't tell if joking, or just American"

            that's my point

        2. Geoffrey W Silver badge

          RE: "who's being funny?"

          Not you.

          1. This post has been deleted by a moderator

    2. hplasm Silver badge
      FAIL

      re:a few bullets would be far cheaper and more permanent

      That would make a mess of the board room. Motion Carried!

      Oh- you meant for the poor?

    3. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      "a few bullets would be far cheaper and more permanent"

      Or, radical idea... the wealthy could pay to get the homeless into shelters and educated...

      I hate seeing homeless on the street, because its terrible for them to live that way, I want govermnets to build shelters for the homeless

      They don't need much, go for Japan style pod hotel beds (with decent locks), shared showers, toilets, and food.

      Add in somewhere to learn and maybe they can pull themselves out of poverty....

    4. Swarthy Silver badge
      Mushroom

      Kill the poor?

      I think I've heard that proposal before.

      Icon for the Neutron Bomb, mentioned in the link.

  6. Erik4872

    Is it already April 1?

    Very funny guys, and it even uses the social media bubble meme of dropping the "e" from the end of the product name ("cleaner" becomes "cleanr", instant marketing genius; here's a $150K salary!) So if the cloud service powering this real time reality distortion field goes down, is there a local backup to at least filter out the "yuck" category? :-)

    I never thought anything would top the dotcom bubble for sheer ridiculousness of startup executive personalities. I'm wrong! 24 year old CEOs with way too much money make for very entertaining stories.

    1. herman Silver badge

      Re: Is it already April 1?

      They dropped the 'e' alright, but forgot to put an 'i' in front and it isn't rectangular with rounded corners, so this product will never succeed.

  7. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    er...this is a spoof, yeah?

    thought Techies were, on the whole, a fairly compassionate bunch?

    1. Mark 85 Silver badge

      Re: er...this is a spoof, yeah?

      The product is... but the letter to the mayor and police chief... No.. http://justink.svbtle.com/open-letter-to-mayor-ed-lee-and-greg-suhr-police-chief

      The mainstream press has picked up on Mr. Keller's letter and they are not being as nice as this article was.

    2. h4rm0ny

      Re: er...this is a spoof, yeah?

      >>"thought Techies were, on the whole, a fairly compassionate bunch?"

      About as compassionate or callous as any other demographic, on the whole. Though like every other demographic, believes it is a special case.

  8. Malcolm Weir Silver badge

    I think that's true, but largely only by comparison with other got-rich-quick types (like Wall Street wizards).

    However, while I am deeply distrustful of Facebook, I was genuinely touched to see that San Francisco General Hospital, which is where the indigent and everyone in the city goes who can't afford health care (and whose AIDS wards were the final stop for so many in the 1990's)... is now called the "Zuckerberg San Francisco General Hospital".

    Yeah, that beats a new concert hall, or wing at a museum any day.

    Respect, Zuck!

    1. TeeCee Gold badge
      Facepalm

      Of course he could have just given them the sodding cash without insisting on having his name plastered all over it.

      Vainglorious twat.

      1. Afernie

        "Of course he could have just given them the sodding cash without insisting on having his name plastered all over it."

        If it strokes his ego, who cares? The money's been given and if self-aggrandisement is his motivation it doesn't stop it being used where it's needed. You get to laugh at his ego, and people get medical care. Win.

      2. Unep Eurobats
        Angel

        Don't assume that's purely down to egotism. It could be an important part of the philanthropy. Such an illustrious association will be an encouragement to other potential donors, and also sends the message to the patients that they're not beneath the regard of even the wealthiest.

  9. Chris G Silver badge

    Surgery

    Both Jon Adams and Justin Keller are clearly in need of abdominal fenestrative surgery , so that they can still see where they are going while their heads are so far up their own arses.

    There but for the grace of god/luck/karma etc go I.

    Let's hope they get a taste of being homeless and hungry some day and experience 'don't care in the community'.

    1. Anonymous Coward
      Anonymous Coward

      Re: Surgery

      I think you have missed Adam's excellent sense of humour, which is a fine way of bursting the bubble of people like Keller. Although the general outrage over Keller's opinions may have got through from the barrage of criticism.

  10. Anonymous Coward
    Anonymous Coward

    Is this actually real? What next Brownr or Blackr? Seriously, as a society is this what we are reduced to?

    This is one of the most appalling things I have ever seen.

    I was actually homeless in my youth and I didn't beg (though I knew people that did and they made a nice amount of money) but at the end of the day this is disgusting. Here's a tip if you ever end up on the streets, don't sleep on concrete, cardboard stops you being ridiculously cold.

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